Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
Love is in the air friends! Yes, Valentine’s Day is back in our pocket-sized towns! And this time around things are going to be done, Springfieldian Style.
Love, Springfieldian Style follows the same event structure that the Simpsons Christmas Special event followed. This event consists of 4 parts (or Acts), with each part lasting a week and taking us through a new part of the event!
It’s time for the exciting conclusion of Love, Springfieldian Style! For Act 4 we’re following Snake’s totally made up story about some dogs, we also see how the story ends and if the Valentine’s Day Cards are spared! So let’s take a look at Snake’s story…
Here’s the story’s synopsis:
Snake likes Bart story, especially because it deals with a surprise betrayal at the end. He can relate to something like that. Lisa realizes this might be his cry for help, so she asks Snake to tell a story about his feelings but through someone else’s perspective. Snake agrees and tells a story about dogs in love. Snake, a stray dog, is offered some food to eat by Gloria. Snake takes advantage of this and gives a bunch of food away to his other stray dog pals. The humans come after Snake, but the dog catcher captures Gloria instead in a mix-up. Snake stages a breakout to get Gloria out of the pound. Things go south quickly, but Gloria is released after she is identified as a dog with an owner. Snake is about to celebrate with Gloria, but Skinner dog shows up and Gloria runs off with him.
Snake, clearly the mutt in the last story, is heartbroken that Gloria left him. That’s why he doesn’t like Valentine’s Day. Skinner explains that Gloria is just taking night classes, so this is all one big miscommunication. The situation settles down, and then the cops show up to arrest Snake. As Snake is being taken away, it turns out Gloria and Skinner really were dating. And the Valentine Card for Bart was from Sherri & Terri. Bart is ready to abandon this “party”. Everyone agrees to cancel the Valentine’s Dance as they eat all the food and read each other’s Valentine’s Cards.
Now, on with the story!
Where ever you see the story italicized indicates the story that Snake is telling. The regular font indicates real-time Springfield
All Dogs Go to Jail Intro
Snake: All right, I’ll pour my heart out to you lame-o’s.
Lisa: Yes! And I promise we, or at least I, will be the most active listeners you’ve ever had outside a courthouse!
Make Lisa Actively Listen to Snake’s Story- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Make Snake Tell a Story About Some Dogs- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Snake: Alright, my dudes, I’m going to tell you a story about some random dogs. None of this is real, okay?
All Dogs Go to Jail Pt. 1
Snake: Which dumpster should I dine out of tonight, Olive Garbage or Trasher Barrel?
Gloria: Hey, scruffy dog. You want some of my food? I have extra because my human is Comic Book Guy, and he’s not very good at portion control.
Comic Book Guy: There is nothing abnormal about eating a baker’s dozen baker’s dozens.
Snake: Some dogs just don’t know how good they have it. But, sorry, I don’t take handouts.
Make Snake Refuse Handouts- 4hrs
Collect Dog Treats- x100.
Snake: Hey Gloria, remember that hilarious joke I just told about not taking handouts?
Gloria: What’s the gag?
Snake: The gag is how much I’m going to eat if you’re nice enough to share with me.
Gloria: You’re in luck, my human just overflowed my bowl with Slim Jims. Snap into ‘em!
All Dogs Go to Jail Pt. 2
Snake: Wow, this is such a strange feeling.
Gloria: What, gratitude?
Snake: No, being full. It’s been a while.
Moe: Man, Snake, how did you get so well fed? I’ve made this peanut butter jar lid last me days.
Snake: Oh, don’t worry, I got us a hookup now. We don’t have to worry about food ever again.
Make Snake Raid Gloria’s Pantry- 4hrs
Collect Dog Treats- x200.
Snake: Here you go, mutts. Mutton for days! In kibble form.
Barney: I’ve never seen so much food in one place! You’re the best, Snake.
Carl: Don’t you think someone will notice this amount of food disappearing?
Snake: Have you seen the size of Gloria’s owner? He’s lost more food in his couch cushions than we could ever eat.
All Dogs Go to Jail Pt. 3
Snake: Giving back to the other dogs tickled an itch I haven’t felt since that trip to the Amalflea Coast.
Lenny: C’mon Snake, you’ve got to let us know your source.
Snake: I don’t want to spoil the gravy train. Or the nacho cheese train for that matter.
Gloria: Hey, Snake, want to hang out? It’s Taco Tuesday and my human passed out mid-al pastor.
Make Snake Attend Taco Feast- 4hrs
Collect Dog Treats- x200.
Gloria: Snake, I think we should talk.
Snake: Not now, Gloria, I’m going to town on this burrito.
Gloria: Uh, I think that’s Comic Book Guy’s socks…
Snake: *spits it out*
Gloria: I think my human is noticing that he’s missing food. He’s scared because he’s losing weight.
Snake: Pft, what’s he gonna do? Last I checked I have no collar, which means I’m a free dog.
All Dogs Go to Jail Pt. 4
Snake: Have I sniffed that pole yet? Better sniff it again, just to be sure.
Willie: There you are, you little mongrel. Come over here, you’re spending the night in the slammer.
Snake: I never met a dog catcher who smelled worse than me. Good luck catching me! Man, I’m a lot slower than I used to be. Gotta convince Comic Book Guy to buy organic.
Gloria: Hey Snake! Who’s your human friend?
Willie: I’ll just take this lady dog then. That’s how dog catchin’ works — so long as I bring one to the pound Willie gets paid.
Snake: Gloria! I’ll save you!
Make Snake Investigate the Dog Prison- 4hrs
Collect Dog Treats- x250.
Snake: Gloria is in the hoosegow!
Moe: Who’s in the what-now?
Snake: She’s in the clink, the cooler, the greybar hotel.
Moe: Oh, the calaboose. Why didn’t you say that in the first place?
Snake: We’ve got to save her!
Barney: Do I smell a heist? No, that’s Moe’s butt. But count me in.
All Dogs Go to Jail Pt. 5
Snake: If we all stick to the plan and do our job, we’ll walk out with Gloria. And, you know, get our food hook-up back!
Moe: I’ll keep watch outside while yous dogs get the gal.
Lenny: I just dragged my butt along the ground. That’s gotta do something, right?!
Make Snake Stage a Break In- 4hrs
Collect Dog Treats- x300.
Snake: Gloria! Our rescue mission was a success.
Gloria: Rescue mission? They let me go because I have a human.
Snake: There’s something I need to tell you–
Skinner: Hey Gloria!
Snake: Who’s this creep?
Gloria: Oh, Snake, this is my boyfriend, Skinner. I’ve been meaning to introduce you. You two would totally get along.
Snake: *mournful howl*
All Dogs Go to Jail Outro
Snake: *mournful howl*
Lisa: Wait, is this all a metaphor for real life? Did Gloria leave you for Skinner?!
Gloria: Did someone say my name? I just got here for night school. Snake?! What are you doing here? And what are you doing with those child-safe scissors?Make Lisa Blame Skinner- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
A Dance With Detention Pt. 3
Lisa: Snake is holding a massive grudge against Valentine’s Day, and it’s all Skinner’s fault!
Skinner: What are you talking about? Gloria is one of my students in night school.
Snake: Oh, I guess it was just a misunderstanding. Can’t fault you for furthering your education. Here are your Valentine Cards back. This crisis is officially, like, over.
Wiggum: Put your hands in the air, you scissor-wielding psychopath!
Make Wiggum Escalate a De-Escalated Situation- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Make Snake Get Arrested- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
A Dance With Detention Pt. 4
Wiggum: Stormed a children’s dance and saved a bunch of papers. Pretty standard Tuesday.
Bart: Now, lets’ see who wrote me a Valentine… Sherri or Terri? Aw man, it’s another detention from Skinner! And he dotted the “i” in detention with a heart!
Gloria: Hey Seymour, now that Snake is gone, are you ready to go on that date you promised?
Skinner: Dance is canceled, everybody! No one cared about this party anyways, right?
Make Lisa Read All the Valentine Cards- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Make Bart Read All the Valentine Cards- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Make Willie Eat All the Chocolate- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
And this concludes the full dialogue for week 4 of the Love, Springfieldian Style Event!
What are your thoughts on Snake’s story? How about the Valentine’s Day conclusion? Did you enjoy it? Did you miss out on the dialogue the first time around? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!