Super Safi’s Monday Morning Musings 60 – Kamp Krusty theme song

Morning Musically-Minded, Medically-Minded, Masticators!

(Today’s post is sponsored by the letter “M”)

Over the past 600+ episodes, The Simpsons has taken us on an amazing journey involving music, science, and food to name a few concepts.

And what better way to start your week, then by discussing some of these concepts Monday morning?

So let’s get started this week by talking about a classic The Simpsons original song, the Kamp Krusty theme song.

In the sixtieth episode of The Simpsons, Kamp Krusty (Season 04, Episode 01), Bart is excited for the last day of school. He has a dream to Alice Cooper’s School’s Out in which all the students and faculty destroy Springfield Elementary. But what Bart is really excited about is that Homer said Bart can go to Kamp Krusty if he can pull a C average. Bart ends up getting D’s, but Homer still let’s Bart join Lisa at Kamp Krusty for the summer.

Unfortunately Kamp Krusty turns out to be a nightmare. The counsellors are bullies, the activities are dangerous or exploitational, the living quarters are horrible, and worst of all, there is no Krusty.

The campers have to sing the Kamp Krusty theme song. Eventually the campers, led by Bart, have enough when Barney apppears as a Krusty stand-in. Bart’s led revolt results in the kids taking over Kamp Krusty.

When Krusty finally shows up, he apologizes and promises to take the kids on a fun trip – to Tijuana.

But have you ever wondered what song the campers are singing at Kamp Krusty?

Kamp Krusty theme song

The music to the them song was written by Alf Clausen. The lyrics were collectively written by Al Jean, Jay Kogen, Mike Reiss, and Wallace Wolodarsky. There are two versions of the song. One is the original version heard on the episode, which appears as the thirty-third track on the album Go Simpsonic with The Simpsons. The other version has more lyrics and goes by the name of “Hail to Thee, Kamp Krusty” and appears as the tenth track on The Yellow Album.

Counselor:
All right, you balls of pan drippings! I wanna see Crisco coming outta those pores! We’re not leaving until this Christmas HAM gives me a pull-up!
Campers:
Hail to thee, Kamp Krusty,
By the shores of Big Snake Lake.
Though your swings are rusty,
We know they’ll never break.
Kearney:
LOUDER! FASTER!
Campers:
From your gleaming mess hall
To your hallowed baseball field
To your spic ‘n’ spam infirmary
Where all our wounds are healed.
Hail to thee, Kamp Krusty,
Below Mt. Avalanche.
We will always love Kamp Krusty…
A registered trademark of the Krusty Korporation. All rights reserved.

Yellow Album version
Krusty:
Hi, everybody! I’m Krusty the Clown! (goofy laugh) And I’d like to welcome the parents and/or the closest living relative to Kamp Krusty on Parents and/or the Closest Living Relative Day! We’re gonna begin by singing the Kamp Krusty Song and then later, as a treat, some of the specially selected campers (ones who can sing) will sing it in their own special way. Take it away, maestro! (goofy laugh)
Krusty and Campers
Hail to thee, Kamp Krusty,
By the shores of Big Snake Lake.
Though your swings are rusty,
We know they’ll never break.
From your gleaming mess hall
To your hallowed baseball field
And your spic ‘n’ span infirmary
Where all our wounds are healed.
Hail to thee, Kamp Krusty,
Below Mt. Avalanche.
We will always love Kamp Krusty…
Bart:
Let’s rock this party! Come on, Otto Mann!
(the song switches to the riffs of Jimi Hendrix’s song “Purple Haze”)
Otto:
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Heh-heh-heh! Yeah! Woah!
Hail to thee, Kamp Krusty,
I’m the transportation dude.
I got the gig when they saw my sign,
It said, “I will work for food!”
So, hail! Yeah, hail! Alright, hail!
Take it away, little Lisa.
(the song switches to a jazz version)
Lisa:
Hail to thee, Kamp Krusty,
With your frequent moose attacks.
There are skunks in half the bunks
But at least I’ve got my sax.
And I’d like to play.
(plays saxophone)
Okay, Martin, dazzle ’em.
(the song becomes a Baroque-esque song with a harpsichord playing)
Martin Prince:
A pox on thee, Kamp Krusty!
I came here to lose weight!
O fate most cruel, they fed me gruel
And stuff that looks like bait.
(gasps)
And a pox on thee, Clown Krusty!
Your behavior gives us pause.
Your heart is hard, you have no regard
For the state’s child labor laws!
A pox on thee, Kamp Krusty!
We are yearning to be free!
We will ne’er return to Krusty!
Bart:
Aw, put a lid on it, Martin, let’s rock this camp!
(the song becomes a rock song)
I HATE IT!
Campers:
KAMP KRUSTY!!
Bart:
CAN’T STAND IT!
Campers:
KAMP KRUSTY!!
Bart:
LET’S BURN IT!
Campers:
KAMP KRUSTY!!
Bart:
LET’S FRY IT!
Campers:
KAMP KRUSTY!!
Bart:
DON’T TRY IT!
Campers:
KAMP KRUSTY!!
Bart:
ELECTROCUTE IT!
Campers:
KAMP KRUSTY!!
Bart:
LET’S DO IT!
Campers:
KAMP KRUSTY!!
Bart:
ANNIHILATE IT!
Campers:
KAMP KRUSTY!!
Bart:
REGURGITATE IT!
Campers:
KAMP KRUSTY!!
Bart:
REFUTE IT!
Campers:
KAMP KRUSTY!!
Bart:
THEN BOOT IT!
Campers:
KAMP KRUSTY!!
Bart:
I HATE IT!
Campers:
KAMP KRUSTY!!
Bart:
CAN’T STAND IT!
Campers:
KAMP KRUSTY!!
Bart:
DISBAND IT!
Campers:
KAMP KRUSTY!!
(guitar solo until song fades)

Now that we’ve learned more about the Kamp Krusty theme song, be sure to come back next week when we continue our Monday morning musings with the next episode of The Simpsons.

Did you remember the song? What’s your favourite camping song? What’s your favourite attraction theme song? Have you ever had a horrible camping experience? Sound off in the comments below. You know we love hearing from you.