Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
As we prepare for Act 4 of the Into the Simpsonsverse event to start tomorrow, it’s time to wrap up Act 3 with a pretty little bow…in the form of the hilarious dialogue!
So here’s a look at the full dialogue for A Four-Course of Action…just in case you missed it by tapping too fast…
A Four-Course of Action Pt. 1
Anime Homer: Noble warriors! I am to come for to help you in bad timing of great stress.
Noir Homer: Can anyone else understand this guy? He sounds a little funny.
Homer: Yeah, he hasn’t learned yet in the ways of how to talk good English like us yet.
Princess Homer: And what do we call you, valiant knight?
Anime Homer: Anime Homer! Great and powerful ally. You are to battle the ominous evil godmother, yes?
Noir Homer: You know about the evil godmother? *narrating* He asked, unnecessarily. The knock-out drops must have dulled his wits… *narrating* Not that they were razor-sharp to begin with, he thought in the cruel, self-mocking tone that no amount of two-fisted gumshoe-ing could silence.*narrating* He briefly wondered why he was so hard on himself, but nobody was paying him to work that case, so he let it go. He needed a drink.
Anime Homer: Yes, I am knowing of evil godmother. She destroyed my townhome.
Princess Homer: You mean your hometown?
Anime Homer: No, my townhome. It share walls with honorable neighbors.
Noir Homer: We really gotta put a stop to this godmother before she does any more damage.
Anime Homer: Anime Homer will train you. Yes! Train you all!
Homer: Awesome! I bet he’s gonna teach us kung fu! C’mon, what’re we waiting for?!
Noir Homer: Wait, did you saps forget already? That evil godmother dame is on her way to the nuclear plant. There’s no time for a training montage, no matter how ironic or meta.
Homer: Don’t worry. As a nuclear technician I have a sure-fire danger-detection system in place!
Make Homer Call Lenny and Carl- 4hrs
Make Princess Homer Practice Kung Fu- 4hrs
Make Noir Homer Shake His Head at Everyone-4hrs
Collect Cat Statues- x115. 4hrs.
Lenny: So you want us to call you the second we see an evil old lady show up at the plant? Sure thing, Homer.
Carl: Wait, how are we gonna know she’s evil?
Lenny: I bet she’ll squint and move her eyes left to right. You know, like in that classic, shifty way all villains do.
Carl: Okay, and how do we not die if she shows up?
Homer: Everyone dies sometime, Carl. The important thing is to achieve closure first, by warning us so WE don’t die.
A Four-Course of Action Pt. 2
Noir Homer: Alright, Anime Homer, if you wanna train us for the upcoming battle against the godmother, I’m game. Where are we off to?
Anime Homer: First, we must journey to my hometown.
Princess Homer: You mean your townhome?
Anime Homer: No, my hometown. There I will train you.
Homer: We’re gonna learn kung fu?!
Anime Homer: I will show you ways of battle of forefathers, passed down through generations, combining elements of judo, kendo and aikido.
Homer: The only thing my father taught me was no-can-do.
Noir Homer: *narrating* You could tell he was joking because nobody was laughing.
Anime Homer: Anime Simpson house style is called Tae Kwan…D’OH!
Make Homer Happily Follow Anime Homer-4hrs
Make Princess Homer Practice Jiu Jitsu- 4hrs
Make Noir Homer Keep Shaking His Head at Everyone- 4hrs
Make Anime Homer Lead Way to Great Honor and Triumph- 4hrs
Collect Cat Statues- x155. 4hrs.
Anime Homer: We are here.
Noir Homer: What do you mean? All I see is a diner that’s three losers short of a Hopper painting.
Anime Homer: This is a Japanese Krusty Burger. We train here.
Homer: Oh. Yeah I’ve seen this movie. I’m betting they have a secret basement inside where they practice fighting. Rule number one, you do not talk about Krusty Klub. Rule number two is to say yes to any question that ends in “with that”.
A Four-Course of Action Pt. 3
Anime Homer: Are you ready for to begin training?
Homer: Yes, sensei.
Anime Homer: Very well. Now is begin! First dish, start now.
Noir Homer: First dish? What do you mean? All I see is a plate of sushi.
Anime Homer: Yes. We practice ancient art of competitive eating.
Princess Homer: Competitive eating is so un-princess-like. I can barely fit into my tiara as it is! Don’t you have any more magical martial arts, like wish granting, or dragon riding, or being dressed by birds…Or kissing things to turn them back into what they were before they were turned into something else?
Anime Homer: This is real life, not a fairy tale! Eat to defeat evil godmother!
Homer: Anime me makes a good point. Eating is good.
Noir Homer: I’ve been around, Anime Homer, and I know you don’t bring a knife to a gun fight — or an appetite to an evil-godmother fight. We need guns, bullets, and crooked DAs who look the other way when the lead starts to fly. What do you say, other Homers?
Homer: Seconds please.
Anime Homer: Bravo arigato! You are true warrior of plate!
Homer: Well, some say eating IS my second job.
Anime Homer: You are ready for next level. Two plates at same time!
Make Homer Learn Competitive Eating-4hrs
Make Princess Homer Give it a Shot- 4hrs
Make Noir Homer Hate Everyone- 4hrs
Make Anime Homer Be Amazed by Homer-4hrs
Collect Cat Statues- x155. 4hrs.
Homer: Oh, boy. I don’t think I can do any more.
Anime Homer: Nothing left to teach man who eat four course in three minute. Grasshopper, you are ready to battle evil godmother.
Noir Homer: Great. Now can we stop wasting our time here? We need to get back to the portal in case the godmother — and…Homer’s asleep.
A Four-Course of Action Pt. 4
Noir Homer: I hate to break up the tea party, but we’ve got to get back to stop the evil godmother from taking over the multi-verse. *narrating* He said, keeping the story on track. It wasn’t pretty, but it worked.
Princess Homer: I think you’re right, but what are we going to do about Homer? We can’t move him, and we can’t leave him here.
Anime Homer: We can use cloud palace to return to power plant.
Noir Homer: You’ve got a cloud palace?!
Anime Homer: Yes. Although it technically cloud townhome. Two royal family live there.
Make Anime Homer Grab the Keys to the Cloud Palace-4hrs
Make Princess Homer Hop on the Cloud Palace- 4hrs
Make Noir Homer Roll Homer Onto the Cloud Palace- 4hrs
Make Homer Get Rolled Onto the Cloud Palace- 4hrs
Collect Cat Statues- x155. 4hrs.
Noir Homer: *whistles* This cloud palace beats the pants off of my sixth-floor walk-up on Skid Row. Maybe it’s time to reassess my life choices.
Princess Homer: Yeah. Being way up in the sky like this, it’s like, a whole new world. It makes me wanna…
Noir Homer: Wanna what?
Homer: *waking up* Huh? What’s going on? Where are we?
Princess Homer: WHEN I’M WAY UP HERE, IT’S CRYSTAL CLEAR…
Homer: No! Quick, someone stop her! Don’t let her finish the chorus!
Anime Homer: We have arrive at power plant.
Homer: *phew* Princess Homer, that’s enough singing. You just need to let it go.
Princess Homer: *gasp*
Homer: No no no!
A Four-Course of Action Pt. 5
Noir Homer: Well, well, well. Looks like that evil broad-mother beat us to the punch.
Evil Godmother Burns: Amazing deduction, Inspector Obvious. No wonder you make a dollar a day.
Noir Homer: Plus expenses.
Evil Godmother Burns: Let’s see you put your famous detective skills to work figuring out my plan.
Noir Homer: I’m not really a “clues” type detective. I’m a two-fisted PI who solves crimes by getting beaten up. It’d really help my process if you’d beat me up.
Evil Godmother Burns: I’m going to summon an army of evil through the portal and use it to vanquish you all!
Noir Homer: Still nothing.
Homer: What the? Lenny, Carl. You were supposed to call me as soon as she showed up. What happened?
Lenny: Oh, is this the evil godmother?
Carl: How were we supposed to know she was evil when she gave us free beers? Cheers, Lenny!
Homer: No no no!
Carl: Oh, yep, okay. I can feel the poison now. *passes out*
Evil Godmother Burns: Your henchmen are no match for me. Give up your folly and surrender.
Princess Homer: Never! We’re here to stop you, no matter the cost.
Evil Godmother Burns: When will you Homers ever learn… Very well. You leave me no choice. Behold, my poison apples! One touch and you’re history. *throws poison apples*
Anime Homer: Homer! Remember your training!
Homer: Time to make some applesauce.
Make Homer Eat the Poison Apples Out of the Air- 4hrs
Make Evil Godmother Burns Be Very Confused- 4hrs
Collect Cat Statues- x195. 4hrs.
Evil Godmother Burns: Did that man just…eat all the poison apples?
Homer: Haha, showed you! I’ve been training, plus I’ve built an immunity to your poison from all the beer I— Oh, no, not immune yet. *falls over*
Noir Homer: I told you competitive eating was a useless skill! Confound it, I’m ending this menace once and for all.
Princess Homer: What are you doing with that axe?
Noir Homer: I’m destroying this blasted machine!
Princess Homer: But then we’ll all be stuck here!
Noir Homer: *takes an axe to the portal* It’s the only way. Take that, you stupid machine! There… It’s finally…over…
Anime Homer: Exercise caution, you make it mad!
Noir Homer: No…don’t tell me… It’s opening another portal?
Anime Marge: *steps out of portal* I am here to avenge my father. Any who stand in my way shall face the wrath of my blade.
Noir Homer: Why couldn’t we have gotten this character to train us?
And that’s it my friends, the full dialogue for Act 3 of Into the Simpsonsverse!
Thoughts on Act 3? Dialogue? How do you think the story will end in Act 4? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!