Dog Days Premium Dialogue: Les Moore

Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!

Time to take a look at the full premium dialogue for Act 3’s premium arrival…Les Moore.

Here’s the full dialogue version of Man’s Best “Friend”, just in case you missed it by tapping too fast.

As a reminder, more details about Les can be found here.

Man’s Best “Friend” Pt. 1
Les Moore starts

Les Moore: Got that cage welded up, and now I just need to finish the incinerator…I mean doggy sauna for my uh…No Kill Kennel.
Smithers: Hounds stop! Return to me!
Les Moore: Dogs loose on you?
Smithers: *breathing hard* I released them hours ago, and they’re supposed to come back immediately after their scheduled maulings. They’re just distracted with so many other dogs running loose in town.
Les Moore: Did you call the dog catcher?
Smithers: Springfield doesn’t have one of those.
Les Moore: Maybe I could be a dog catcher. I have a kennel. Would just need some more cages.
Smithers: And a license to legally apprehend dogs for profit.
Les Moore: Eh, if I can fabricate a cage, I can fabricate a dog catcher license.
 Make Les Moore Add More Cages to the Kennel- 4hrs

Man’s Best “Friend” Pt. 2
Les Moore starts

Quimby: Mr. Moore, you said you had a deal that’d be worth my while?
Les Moore: Yes. Springfield doesn’t have an Animal Control department. I’d be willing to be that department for you.
Quimby: You want to be a dog catcher?
Les Moore: Yes, with all the stray dogs running around and them already becoming our overlords… …and the angry mobs about to tear down your door…
Quimby: The people of this city do tend to form mobs rather quickly.
Les Moore: So, do we have a deal?
Quimby: It’s tempting. Though, this is usually the point in negotiations where people sweeten the offer.
Les Moore: Say no more.
Make Les Moore Offer a Drink to Quimby- 4hrs
Make Quimby Wait for a Bribe- 4hrs
Quimby: Hmm. As deal-sweeteners go, this is fairly underwhelming.
Les Moore: That’s the best drink I make.
Quimby: Maybe you could try a different…sweetener? *wink-wink*
Les Moore: Sweet’n Low?
Quimby: If that’s what they’re calling it now, sure. *wink*

Man’s Best “Friend” Pt. 3
Les Moore starts

Les Moore: Alright, I am now Springfield’s dog catcher. I’ve got my dog rescuing sack, my permission from the Mayor… Now I just need to find some dogs that need capturing…I mean rescuing…using my sack, my snare, or any means necessary.
Make Les Moore “Rescue” Dogs- 4hrs
Wiggum: Hold it right there, pal!
Les Moore: Officer? Is there something wrong?
Wiggum: There’s a lot wrong! My belt won’t fit anymore, my gun fell in my bowl of lunch gravy…
Les Moore: Those don’t sound like they involve me.
Wiggum: Oh, wait… I’ve been getting calls all day about someone stealing puppies!
Les Moore: Please. I procured puppies legally after getting approval from Mayor Quimby. I’m the new Animal Control Officer.
Wiggum: Hmm, that does make sense. But I want people seeing me doing something about it so I’m going to rough you up and take you in. No hard feelings.

Man’s Best “Friend” Pt. 4
Les Moore starts

Les Moore: Chief Wiggum, how about I offer you something that’ll make all your problems go away?
Wiggum: Sounds like a bribe. I’m in.
Les Moore: How about a puppy for that boy of yours?
Wiggum: A puppy? But I don’t know anything about puppies.
Les Moore: Lucky for you, I can train both you and the dog at no extra cost.
Make Les Moore “Train” Wiggum and His New Puppy- 4hrs
Make Wiggum Attempt to Pay Attention- 4hrs
Wiggum: So, the beer is for the dog?
Les Moore: No, the beer is for you. The dog gets water.
Wiggum: Even better. *leaves*
Les Moore: Free beer should at least get people talking about this place.
Lisa: There he is!
Moe: You no-good dog thief!
Ned: You ought to be ashamed of yourself!
Les Moore: At least they’re talking!

Man’s Best “Friend” Pt. 5
Les Moore starts

Les Moore: Hey, I’m just the Animal Control officer hired by the Mayor.
Lisa: Animal Control officers are supposed to protect animals by rehabbing and readying them for adoption.
Les Moore: They also offer good rates on dogs that need homes and basic training.
Lisa: Those dogs were stolen from homes around the city!
Les Moore: You have no proof of that.
Lisa: That’s literally my dog right there. He’s microchipped and here are his papers.
Santas Little Helper: *bark*
Les Moore: Pfft. Just a classic he said, she said, he barked.
Make Les Moore Return “Rescued” Dogs- 4hrs
Les Moore: And that’s the last of them.
Lisa: And you’re going to stop doing this?
Les Moore: Totally.
Lisa: Immediately?
Les Moore: My ten year down the road plan is not “immediately” enough for ya?