Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
Now that Act 4 is over let’s take a look back at the dialogue just in case you missed it by tapping too fast…
All the World’s a Cage Pt. 1
Lisa: Am I the only one in this family who realizes we’re now living in a doggy dystopia?
Bart: Gotta live somewhere.
Lisa: All our regular stores now only sell dog clothes!
Bart: I hear the new fall muzzles are out. You should try one.
Lisa: Dad, are you just gonna sit and watch TV while the people of Springfield are getting imprisoned?
Homer: Eh, there’s nothing else good on.
Lisa: I’ll bet if you save Wiggum from the kennel, he’ll cancel all your outstanding parking tickets.
Homer: *gasp* I’m in!
Bart: *gasp* Me too!
Lisa: I thought you didn’t care about any of this? Oh, wait. You have FOMO, don’t you?
Bart: I do not! I just have a fear of missing out!
Make Homer Vow to Stop Those Pesky Dogs- 4hrs
Make Bart Have Extreme FOMO- 4hrs
Make Lisa Rally Springfielders Against the Dogs- 4hrs
Make Marge Brainstorm Anti-dog Tactics- 4hrs
Collect Dog Food-x125
Kent Brockman: Laddie, you’re gonna hold up your end of the bargain, right? I broadcast your demands and you make me the new mayor in your doggy dystopia. I mean…utopia.
Laddie: *bark* *bark* *woof* *ruff* You should just do what I tell you and I won’t give your mansion to the corgi gang, you bloated local news hack. *woof*
Kent Brockman: What did he say?
McGriff The Crime Dog: He said it’s a deal.
All the World’s a Cage Pt. 2
Santas Little Helper: *whimper* *whimper* I’ve found my true love in Rosa Barks, but she wants to enslave humans, including my family. *whimper*
*whimper* *whimper* How can I possibly choose between them? *whimper*
*whimper* But I must. *whimper*
Bart: Santa’s Little Helper seems really depressed today.
Lisa: Yeah, I’ve never seen him hold a sad expression for three straight dialogue boxes!
Bart: We should take him to the veterinarian.
Homer: No way! I’m not giving that guy another two hundred bucks just to tell me my dog’s breath stinks.
Marge: He was saying that about you.
Homer: *annoyed grumble*
Make Homer Go to the Veterinarian- 4hrs
Make Marge Go to the Veterinarian- 4hrs
Make Bart Go to the Veterinarian- 4hrs
Make Lisa Go to the Veterinarian – 4hrs
Make Santa’s Little Helper Go to the Veterinarian- 4hrs
Collect Dog Food-x125
Lionel Budgie: Your dog has a classic case of down-in-the-dumps-dog-itis.
Lisa: Is that a real thing?
Lionel Budgie: It’s not. But I need a disease name in order to bill you for this visit.
Bart: What could Santa’s Little Helper possibly be sad about? Too much dog butt sniffing? Not enough dog butt sniffing?
Lionel Budgie: By the look in his eyes, I’d say… He’s torn between two loves. One, a familial love. Long lasting and pure. The other, romantic. Passionate and tender. He knows he cannot have both.
Lisa: Wow, you really understand dog psyche.
Lionel Budgie: Or…your dog’s got indigestion.
All the World’s a Cage Pt. 3
Bart: Santa’s Little Helper seems to be in a better mood.
Santas Little Helper: *bark* *woof* Because I’ve chosen my family! I will help you defeat the dogs, including my love, Rosa Barks! *ruff*
Lisa: Why is he scratching at the closet door? *opens door*
Bart: What is it, boy? What’s in there? A treat? One of your toys?
Santas Little Helper: *bark* *ruff* I’m trying to show you how to defeat the dogs! *bark*
Marge: I don’t get it.
Santas Little Helper: *bark* I’m literally pointing right at it. *woof*
Homer: *gasp* This stupid dog has inadvertently shown me exactly how to defeat the dogs!
Santas Little Helper: *woof* Oh, brother.
Make Homer Make a Case for the Doggy Overlords- 4hrs
Make Brockman Broadcast From the No Kill Kennel- 4hrs
Make Wiggum Take a Nap in the Cage- 4hrs
Make Ralph Pretend to Be Danger Dog- 4hrs
Make Les Moore Hose Down Wiggum’s Cage- 4hrs
Make Quimby Give Laddie the Key to the City- 4hrs
Collect Dog Food-x145
Smithers: Mr. Burns, are you concerned about keeping the hounds locked up while all the other dogs are taking over the town?
Burns: Why should that bother me?
Smithers: Well, the hounds might want to escape to run free with their own kind.
Burns: Smithers, how many times have I ordered you to release the hounds?
Smithers: So many times. It makes my head spin.
Burns: And they always come back. Do you know why?
Smithers: The same reason I keep coming back. They know who their master is.
Burns: Yes, let’s not forget that. Now SIT! Roll over! Play dead!
All the World’s a Cage Pt. 4
Kent Brockman: And it all comes down to this, folks. Half of Springfield is NOT locked in the dog kennel and marches to save the other half that IS locked in.
Laddie: *bark* *bark* Heh, heh, heh. *woof*
Kent Brockman: Laddie trots out to meet them and laughs diabolically… I think.
Homer: Give us all our people back! Or at least that kid that loads me up at the Krusty Burger drive-thru!
Laddie: *bark* *bark* First you must pledge fealty to your doggy overlords! *woof*
Homer: The time for translating woofs and barks is over! Springfielders, prepare to attack! Pull out the dog’s greatest enemy – the VACUUM! *pulls out vacuum*
Barney: *pulls out vacuum*
Agnes: *pulls out vacuum*
Laddie: *yelp* *yelp*
McGriff The Crime Dog: I think we all understand a yelp when we hear one. No translation necessary!
Make Springfielders Attack With Vacuums- x20. 4hrs
Collect Dog Food-x145
All the World’s a Cage Pt. 5
Lisa: All the dogs have retreated into the woods. All thanks to Santa’s Little Helper pointing out the vacuum in our closet!
Wiggum: Your Hoovers, Bissells, and Eurekas saved me!
Ralph: Not me. I’m staying here to live in the doggy cages.
Wiggum: Okay, Ralphie. Why don’t I put on your leash and we’ll go for a walk…home. Your mother must be worried sick.
Sarah Wiggum: Meh.
Ralph: Nobody puts a leash on Danger Dog!
Wiggum: Danger Dog can get a bath on the front lawn if he comes home.
Ralph: Yay, lawn bath!
Lisa: The dogs will be back soon. Wish we had a dozen vacuums — those robotic Roombas with the AI that can be set in “Dog Defense” mode.
Wiggum: We don’t have the budget for that. We can afford one cleaning lady with a mop for half a day.
Make Wiggum Approve Vacuum Budget- 4hrs
Make Homer Bug Wiggum About Parking Tickets- 4hrs
Make Lisa Install Vacuums Around Police Station- 4hrs
Make Bart Secretly Install Turrets on Vacuums- 4hrs
Make Santa’s Little Helper Pine for Rosa Barks- 4hrs
Collect Dog Food-x185
Rosa Barks: *bark* *woof* How could you do this? I thought we had something between us. *bark*
Santas Little Helper: *bark* *ruff* The only thing between us was a knotted rope. I’m sorry, Rosa. We weren’t meant to be. *bark*
Rosa Barks: *bark* Can we spend this one last night together? *bark*
Santas Little Helper: *woof* For old time’s sake… *bark* *licks* Oh, Rosa.
Rosa Barks: *licks* Oh, Santa’s Little Helper.
Lost the Translation
Frink: Okay, uh — things got a little weird there. The doggy overlords have been defeated, so there’s no need for us to be hearing any more weird arfing, woofing or bow-wow-wowwing…
: And then Professor Frink took the dog translator, and the dogs were never understood again…
: …or were they?
: No, they weren’t.
And that wraps up the dialogue for Dog Days…
Thoughts? Sound off below.