If you’ve been zapping through your tapping and it’s all been a bit of a blur or if you just fancied a reminder of what the writers got up to this time you’re in luck.
Here’s all the dialog and tasks for Act 2 …
What’s in this post:
• Act 2 Prize Track: The Long Drive parts 1 to 5
The Long Drive, part 1:
Quimby: Citizens of Springfield, thanks to little Lisa Simpson and er…bigger Professor Frink, I have closed one of the loopholes that the city elites have long exploited.
Quimby: Starting today, commercial establishments will now pay property taxes equivalent to those paid by private citizens. This being retroactive to ten years ago.
Quimby: The increased revenue will afford our city a new, publicly funded golf course — Springfield Municipal Golf Course, that is open to all.
Quimby: Elites be damned!
Marge: I’m so proud of you, Lisa!
Lisa: I’m sure this won’t come back to blow up in my face.
• Collect Golf Balls – x 115
• Make Springfielders Go to the Municipal Golf Course – x 10, 4 hours
• Make Lisa Fret About Inevitable Disaster – 4 hours
• Make Quimby Wait for Angry Calls – 4 hours
Daisy Quimby: There you are, Joseph.
Quimby: Mother? You decided to annoy me in person?
Daisy Quimby: That’s what mothers are for. Now what is this stunt all about?
Quimby: This stunt is more of a scheme.
Quimby: It would certainly be a shame if the country club suddenly owed millions in back taxes and were driven completely out of business.
Daisy Quimby: That WOULD be a shame.
Quimby: Naturally, if one of their members happened to be an influential politician, I’m sure this entire mess could have been avoided.
Blue Haired Lawyer: *knocking on the door* I was asked to evaluate the new law for the Springfield Glen Country Club, and it appears they are now on the hook for millions in back taxes.
Blue Haired Lawyer: They would like to let you know that they have decided to allow members of the public to play on their course, with only one exception.
Quimby: What exception would that be?
Blue Haired Lawyer: No one currently holding an elected position within the city of Springfield is allowed a membership position…Mr. elected Mayor.
Quimby: So it’s hardball, eh? I can play that.
Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP and decoration: Golf Tee Box
The Long Drive, part 2:
Carl: The new municipal course is great. Not too fancy. It’s perfect for weekend duffers like us.
Lenny: Yeah, it’s nice. I might even become a weekday duffer.
Carl: Only problem — the driving range is pointed right at the Springfield Glen clubhouse. I think I hit a couple rich guys this morning.
Moe: Sorta makes golfin’ fun.
Lenny: And the greens fees at the Muni are so cheap, it’s gotta be killing the fancy club’s memberships.
Carl: Along with the balls from the driving range taking some out too.
Moe: *laughs* Say where’s Homer? He usually likes to laugh along with us jerks.
Lenny: You think he’s found new jerks to laugh with?
Barney: Nah. We’re the best jerks around.
• Collect Golf Balls – x 115
• Make Barflies Discuss the Courses – x 3, 4 hours
• Make Moe Wonder Where Homer Is – 4 hours, Location : MoesTavern
• Make Homer Wander In At Exactly That Moment – 4 hours
Barney: Homer, there you are! You play golf, right?
Homer: I’m an avid golfer…if playing a round every ten years is avid.
Moe: So, have you played at either of the two courses that are now in Springfield?
Homer: No. With all the hurricanes, earthquakes, and global this-or-that, I’m through being out in nature…unless it’s eating al fresco.
Homer: And even then I’ll take my “fresco” inside on the couch.
Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP and decoration: Sand Bunker
The Long Drive, part 3:
Burns: You won’t get my tee time, Aristotle!
Aristotle Amadopolis: Then you won’t get your hounds back, Montgomery!
Squeaky Voice Teen: Sirs, keep your voices down inside of the clubhouse…
Aristotle Amadopolis: I will when Montgomery does!
Burns: Very well! Smithers, adjust my angry outside voice to angry inside!
Smithers: Sir, I’ll need a screwdriver, pliers, and a crescent wrench.
• Collect Golf Balls – x 100
• Make Burns Glare at Amadopolis – 4 hours
• Make Amadopolis Glare at Burns – 4 hours
• Make Smithers Try to Defuse the Situation – 4 hours
• Make the Squeaky Voice Teen Update His Resume Again – 4 hours
Burns: There. Inside voice. Now what is it you want, Aristotle?
Aristotle Amadopolis: It’s quite simple. I want your tee time all to myself.
Burns: It’ll never happen. It’s been my tee time for five decades, and it’ll be my tee time for another five after I die. Which I don’t ever plan on doing!
Aristotle Amadopolis: How about you and I make a little wager then, Montgomery?
Smithers: Oh dear. Wagers never work out for Mr. Burns. In his last one, he lost Hell to Beelzebub.
Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP and a Mystery Box token
The Long Drive, part 4:
Aristotle Amadopolis: We’ll have ourselves a round of golf. Winner gets the tee time all to themselves. Loser gives up their club membership and never shows their face here again.
Burns: I’m all in—
Smithers: Sir, I urge you to reconsider.
Burns: Smithers, you’ve seen my golf game, you know there’s not a soul who can beat me. I possess the art of the cheat.
Smithers: …yes, but do you trust that Mr. Amadopolis doesn’t have an underhanded plot as well?
Burns: Hmm, you may be right. I’ll get to the bottom of this…with more cheating!
• Collect Golf Balls – x 130
• Make Burns Consider His Opponent – 4 hours
• Make Amadopolis Smile Smugly – 4 hours
• Make Smithers Become Increasingly Worried – 4 hours
Burns: Aristotle! I’m assuming we play by the rules of Archbishop Hamilton’s St. Andrews Charter of 1552?
Aristotle Amadopolis: I was more thinking a best ball tournament. You and your partner versus myself and a partner of my choosing.
Aristotle Amadopolis: Don’t worry. I’m not planning to bring in a ringer.
Burns: Fine. I accept your terms.
Aristotle Amadopolis: Brilliant! I’ll see you here next week at MY tee time, and it will be settled then!
Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP and building: The Golfin’ Dolphin
The Long Drive, part 5:
Burns: All right, Smithers. I need a golf partner. Time for you to work on your game.
Smithers: But I’ve never picked up a golf club in my life! And last week, one of the hounds bit me. I’m currently in the midst of a series of painful rabies shots.
Burns: It’s always about you, isn’t it?
Smithers: As much as I’d love to be your partner, I’m afraid you’ll have to find someone else.
Burns: Well, then I’ll leave it up to you to find a replacement.
• Collect Golf Balls – x 165
• Make Smithers Find Someone to Blame the Loss On – 4 hours
• Make Homer Work a Plant Shift – 4 hours
Smithers: You there! Simpson!
Smithers: Wake up!
Homer: Huh-whaaa…? Smithers! I was just…doing my job…with my eyes closed. I’m THAT good.
Smithers: Nevermind. Do you still have your golf clubs?
Homer: Oh, uh…yeah, I think so?
Smithers: Good. Meet me outside Mr. Burns’ office after you finish work today.
Homer: Will do. *snoring again*
Reward: 200 $$s, 20 XP and skin: Golfing Homer
That wraps up Act 2, back tomorrow with the Act 3 Rundown.