Mad Men of Springfield: Moe Szyslak

Welcome to another new addition to Addicts, the Mad Men of Springfield. We will be going into depth on the history and background of the male species running around our lil towns as well as those not yet in the game.

Just think about it. What Man living in Springfield is “normal”? Not a single one that I can think of. They all have at least ONE thing wrong with them. Seriously! Think about it. How many issues does Moe have? A Reverend a “little” obsessed with trains? An owner of a Kwik-E-Mart that goes to counseling with the same person that robs him, on a daily basis? Not to mention the “inbreeding” and other strange happenings going on at the farm. Oh the idiosyncrasies.

So sit back, relax, grab your favorite beverage, and enjoy as we kram your brains with some Simpson knowledge of the MAD MEN OF SPRINGFIELD.

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 Moe: Plastic surgery, huh? Eh, maybe they could dynamite Mount Crapmore here and carve me a new kisser.
Carl: Oh, I don’t know. Plastic surgery might make you look good on the outside, but you still might feel bad in the inside.
Moe: But I’d look good on the outside, right?
Carl: Yeah, but you’d feel bad inside.
Moe: Plastic surgery it is!
S11, E16, “Pygmoelian”

In this weeks episode, we’re talking about a character that’s been in our games since the very start.  He’s not only a familiar face walking the streets of our Springfield’s, but he’s a brash voice behind the bar.

I am talking about none other than…Moe Szyslak, everyone’s favorite bartender!

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 So how did he end up in our games? Where in the Simpsons TV world did he appear? Why is he so bitter? Well that’s look…

Oh Moe.  Even has a child he had a face that only a mother could love…

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Of course Moe is known for his brash, gravelly attitude as the proprietor of Moe’s Tavern.  Where he often serves up an attitude with his drinks.  But to discover just who the man behind the bar is, we have to start at the beginning way back to Moe’s early days.  Perhaps some of his brash behavior started as a child….

During Season 23, E12, “Moe Goes from Rags to Riches” we get a glimpse of Moe’s life growing up.  Well a small, minor glimpse, but a glimpse nonetheless.  As a child Moe was raised on top of Mount Everest by his Yeti father.  Perhaps it’s this cold, harsh upbringing by a Yeti that’s lead to Moe’s cold, brash attitude as an adult?

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We see more of Moe’s harsh behavior as he continued to grow.  During Season 7, E2, “Radioactive Man” we learn that Moe had a little bit of star power in him. He was once a child actor in The Little Rascals .  He played the tough kid Smelly (how fitting), but was fired because he was TOO tough.  In typical Moe fashion he let his rage get the best of him, even as a child, and killed Alfalfa for stealing his bit.  Naturally Moe was promptly fire, but hey what do you expect from a child star who was raised by a Yeti?

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Flash forward to his adulthood and Moe’s brash behavior only naturally continued, and his bitter attitude became sharper.  Fueled by the fact that now he can carry a shotgun around!

As an adult, Moe also plays an influential part in shaping the criminals of Springfield today.  During Season 17, E13, “The Seemingly Never-ending Story”, we learn that Moe is in fact the reason Snake turned to a life of crime.  As a youngster Snake discovered some rare Mayan Coins, which Moe promptly stole from him.  It is in this moment that Moe crushed the dreams of a young Snake, causing him to take up a life of crime.  Moe Szyslak…Bartender…Dream Crusher.

Of course perhaps the best use of Moe’s cruel, hard-nose attitude is when he discovered he actually makes a great judge on American Idol.  During Season 21, E23, “Judge Me Tender”, we learn that Moe has a knack for judging things.  His mean attitude creates a hilarious situation when he judges an Ugly Dog Contest, in replace of Krusty.  Of course, because of Moe’s own self-loathing and his need to fit in, this prompts Moe to go around Springfield judging things, which leads to a spot as a judge on American Idol.  Moe’s perfect for the position, except when he gets in his own way.  That short fuse of his causes him to be banned from California when he threatens to break Simon Cowell’s voice box for double crossing him.

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Despite his short fuse and brashness, Moe does have a softer, gentler side.  We see some glimpses of this over the years.  One such example is during Season 21, E21, “Moe Letter Blues”, when Moe learns that Homer, Rev. Lovejoy & Apu are all having relationship problems with their wives he decides it’s his job to step in and help them fix it.  He sends the guys a letter telling them he’s going to run away with one of their wives.  This of course sends the guys into a panic and forces them to all reevaluate their relationships with their wives.  It’s in this reevaluation they each learn to appreciate and respect their wives & each decides they can’t live with out them.  See even ol’ Moe has a romantic side to him!

Of course there are many other examples of Moe’s softer side…like when he saves Maggie’s Life or his dedicate to read to sick kids at the hospital.  Moe’s got a softer side beneath that rough exterior.

As far as his love life is concerned…it’s more like non existent.   As you can imagine, Moe’s brash attitude has only caused him to get in the way of himself when it comes to love.  Although he’s had numerous ladies in his life, whenever he’s had love he’s ruined it.  Take for example Maya from Season 20, E16, “Eeny Teeny Maya, Moe”.  The little person that Moe met online & fell in love with.  And she actually fell in love with him too!  When Moe asked her to marry him & she accepted, he blew it when he made one too many little person jokes, causing the whole thing to fall apart.

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Of course there are countless other examples of Moe’s standing the way way of himself over the years, especially when he engages in those shady practices at Moe’s tavern.  (like smuggling endangered species, running an illegal gambling ring in ins tavern, and the list goes on and on)  But deep down Moe’s just a guy, looking for someone to love and accept him.  Brash attitude and all.

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So now that we’ve gotten to know Moe the man, let’s take a look at Moe the TSTO Character.  He’s been in our games since the first launch of TSTO, and arrives at level 15 along with Marge & Moe’s Tavern.  He’s also a character with multiple skins, if you’ve been playing the game long enough.  Moe has 3 TSTO Personalities…Moe, Respectable Moe & Number 21…

So let’s take a look at how his tasks line up with his character:

Moe’s Tasks

Task Task Length Payout Building
Shop at Kwik-E-Mart 1hr $70, 17xp Kwik-E-Mart
Visit the Track 3hrs $135, 35xp Springfield Downs
Eat at the Singing Sirloin 3hrs $135, 35xp Singing Sirloin
Visit Jake’s Unisex Hair Palace 4hrs $175, 45xp Jake’s
Smuggle Engdangered Species 8hrs $275, 70xp Outside
Spy On Midge 12hrs $420, 100xp Outside/Bush
Water Down Beer 24hrs $600, 150xp Moe’s

Respectable Moe’s Tasks:

Task Task Length Payout Building
Fun in the Limo 1hr $105, 26xp Outside/Limo
Dine at the Truffle 2hrs $110, 27xp Gilded Truffle
Charge More for Drinks 4hrs $175, 45xp Moe’s
Strut in Suit 12hrs $420, 100xp Outside
Distil 15-Year Old Whiskey 24hrs $600, 150xp Moe’s
Clean Up the Tavern 48hrs $1,000, 500xp Moe’s

Number 21’s Tasks:

Task Task Length Payout Building
Quick Drink at the Stonecutter Lodge 1hr $70, 17xp Stonecutter Lodge
Run the Stonecutter Daycare 2hrs $110, 27xp Stonecutter Daycare
Stock the Stonecutter Keggery 4hrs $175, 45xp Stonecutter Lodge
Attend a Secret Meeting 8hrs $275, 70xp Stonecutter Lodge
Nap at the Stonecutter Lodge 12hrs $420, 100xp Stonecutter Lodge
Feast at the Stonecutter Lodge 24hrs $600, 150xp Stonecutter Lodge

Respectable Moe was part of an episode tie-in from 2013 and is currently not available in the game.  Number 21 was part of the Stonecutters Event in 2014 and is currently not available in the game.

There you have it…the man, the grump, the bitter….Moe Szyslak!

What do YOU think of Moe? Do you have all of his skins? What are your thoughts on Moe’s involvement in TSTO?  What are your thoughts on his personality?  Sound off in the comments below, you know we LOVE hearing from you!

4 responses to “Mad Men of Springfield: Moe Szyslak

  1. You may want to mention that he hunted rabbits for eggs during the 2014 easter event, even though you could just shock the bunnies.

  2. I like Moe, I like Moe a lot <3

  3. One of my fav shows about his softer side is the one about his bar rag.

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