Woo to the hoo! Monorail, monorail, monorail! I know there’s been issues for tappers with the new event but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t super stoked for all the new goodness. Of course, with a new event in our silly lil game, we get new items that you may not have a clue as to their Origin. They seem familiar, but you just can’t pinpoint from where. That’s why Team Addicts decided to make a fun lil reminder out of it. To let you know just Where did THAT Come From?
So this installments of the Monorail schtuff concerns Jesse Grass, one the limited time premium items made available during the Monorail Event. Whether you bought him or not, you may be unfamiliar with this Level 5 Vegan in the Best. Show. Ever. and thankfully, origin stories are my bread and butter. Let’s take look at the TV series to find our new dreamboat, shall we?
“Lisa the Tree Hugger” (S12:E4)
Most of us know Lisa as that loveable Buddhist vegetarian who is the middle child of the Simpson clan. She’s smart, aware, unafraid to voice comments and overall just a sweet little genius saxomaphone player. We sometimes forget that Lisa also likes boys in addition to being an environmental activist. In this episode, Lisa heads to Krusty Burger with her family only to find protestors dressed like cows on the roof.
The police stop the protest with beanbag bullets and a bagzooka but we all know “You can’t silence the truth with beanbags.” Lisa falls for the dreamy mother cowboy. Like marge says, “He’d be cute if he wasn’t so idealistic.”
Woohoo! Jesse Grass! He’s the teenage leader of Dirt First. Lisa visits Jesse in jail. He started doing yoga before it was cool and is a level 5 vegan just like the game says. He even pocket mulches.
Lisa joins the hippy club at the poser level. At her first meeting, she learns about Mayor Quimby selling the logging rights to Springfield’s oldest redwood tree. She volunteers to live in the tree so it can’t be cut down. The rest of Dirt First was unwilling to miss a Phish concert or Burning Man.
The view from the tree is amazing and hilarious.
Lisa may be doing it just for a cute boy but him calling her hardcore is enoguh. Her family isn’t thrilled and Homer blames Jesse’s “non-threatening Bobby Sherman good looks.” Lisa ends up missing her family and goes home just for a little but falls asleep. Unfortunately for her majestic tree, her absence resulted in the tree being felled. The good news was it was stuck by lightning and not loggers. The bad news is Lisa’s metal bucket attracted the bolt.
Everyone thinks she’s dead, including Jesse. They make her a shrine. The Rich Texan promises to make the forest into a wilderness preserve and Jesse cuts off his favorite dreadlock for her shrine. The family gets lots of free perks for a dead Lisa. Pie from Flanders, straight As for Bart and Homer drinks for free at Moe’s. Problem is that Lisa is not “riding the midnight train to slab city.” How long can the farce go on?
Well, as long as things go well. When the folks at Omni-Pave announce the nature preserve will actually become “the rootin’est, tootin’est, pollutin’est amusement park”, Lisa Land, Lisa’s moral outrage can’t let this slide so she reveals she is not dead.
Jesse cuts the guidewires to the redwood with Lisa’s face which careens through Springfield’s Business District. It takes out Omni-Pave and Kentucky Fried Panda. To the eco-warriors chagrin, it also takes out Hemp City.
Not all is lost though. Jesse winds up back in jail but he got them to install a solar-powered electric chair and Lisa gets a smooch on the head from her dreamy crush. Sure the Lisa Log never stopped by some weird turn of fortune but the episode ends with a funny song.
So there you go. The origins for the new premium stand-alone character EA brought us in Act I of the Monorail Event. He comes from a pretty great Lisa-centric episode. I always dig the ones revolving around her. Did you buy Jesse? If so, does he spend more time recycling or like me, do you love to dress him up like a cow for 60 minutes at a time at the Krusty Burger? Seriously my new favorite outdoor animation. Sound off in the comments and stay classy friends.
TTFN… Wookiee out!