Faster than an event speeding donut spender! More powerful than a local Addict! Able to leap long comment threads in a single bound! Look! Up in the TSTO-niverse! It’s a building! It’s a decoration! It’s Superheroes 2016!
In our silly lil game, we sometimes see things pop in that we have no clue as to their Origin. They seem familiar, but we just can’t pinpoint from where. So that is why we decided to make a fun lil reminder out of it. To let you know just Where did THAT Come From?
So unless you’ve been locked away in Lucite, by now you probably realize a new event has splashed all over the screens of our beloved game. Lots of new stuff and that means I have one heck of a job to do letting you know where all the new “super” things come from. Origin stories are sort of the bread and butter of any comic book story worth its proverbial weight in Booster Gold, so I’m back at my usual antics again. For this issue of WDTCF, we’ll be looking at the First Bank of Springfield, a premium offering during Issue 2 for 60 Donuts.
It seems silly that it took six and a half seasons to finally see the bank Homer and Marge use for everyday life but that’s just how it is. The first appearance is “Homer vs. Patty and Selma” (S6:E17). Homer has a secret investment in pumpkins but it all goes bust after Halloween. He doesn’t want to seem like a failure next to recently-promoted-at-the-DMV Patty & Selma so he finds a way to get money to support his family and halt their fiduciary trouble. Vegas doesn’t work and Moe’s loan offer seems dangerous so Homer is off to the First Bank of Springfield to get an extension on his mortgage payments. I’ve always loved this building but it’s probably more the inner child who laughs every time he sees BS in bold letters.
Pretty obvious that the answer is no. Poor Homer, he had to resort to his “last, last chance: bottom-of-the-barrel, hail-mary, long-shot, wish-you-would-do-it-but-probably-won’t final resort to lend me money” and borrow from Patty and Selma and hilarity ensues.
Our next appearance is in “The PTA Disbands” (S6:E21). Springfield Elementary is broke. They can’t afford field trips or a bus that’s safe for the children. The teachers go on strike to better the education of the kiddos. Well, sort of, the strike is more the result of Bart Simpson manipulation but it still was prompted by deplorable education funding. I enjoy the strike signs. 2+2 = A Raise Dude. A is for Apples B is for Raise. Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Honk if you love cookies. Oh no! Before you lose your perspicacity like Lisa or realize it’s always in the last place you look like Homer, we obviously know the strike doesn’t last forever. It is fun to watch the kids have lots of free time though, well everyone but Milhouse whose parents got him a tutor. Bart uses some of his time to prank the First Bank of Springfield by making comments about insolvency. Phew… seems like this post is full of big-ish words.
When poor aunt Hortence passes away and leaves the Simpson family her entire inheritance in “Bart the Fink” (S7:E15), the only stipulation is that they spend the night in a haunted house. Homer says there no such thing as ghosts but the episode certainly seems to point otherwise until it doesn’t. The family has a great night’s sleep and is then awarded one hundred dollars each. The rest goes to Ann Landers. Bart is ready to buy 100 tacos for 100 dollars and Lisa plans on donating it to public broadcasting but Marge is not keen on their ideas so she takes the kids to the Bank of Springfield to put it away in accounts.
The bank is much bigger in this episode and is much more gimmicky but as Marge says, “you feel better knowing your money is in the hands of professionals.” As a man who cosplays as Chewbacca, I agree that a man in a monkey mask is still a professional.
Bart tries to use his new checks to get Krusty’s autograph (if he endorses the check, it counts) but the plan fails when the check is stamped by Cayman Islands Offshore Holding Corporation instead. Bart goes to the bank to figure out what’s going on. They’re wearing reindeer antlers for their promotions now. Are the “reining” in the savings? Bart gets Krusty nailed for tax evasion with his inquiry. Uh oh. Watch the episode for the rest of the hijinks.
The next appearance is in “Missionary: Impossible” (S11:E15). Homer makes a pledge of ten thousand dollars to PBS to make Betty White shut up during a pledge drive. He tries to do it anonymously but PBS finds him. The problem is, Homer doesn’t have that sort of money. His lie to say the bank is closed at 12:15 doesn’t work well and he can’t stab away his problems so Betty White sicks soccer hooligans on him.
I would watch this episode purely for the bloodthirsty pursuit of Homer by characters from PBS but there’s also fun times with Homer as a missionary. But it’s not just Marge and Homer who bank there. We see that Flanders does too when he writes Marge a check for the murder house in “Realty Bites” (S9:E9).
I bet I could get super sweaty and try to find every appearance of a BS check in the show but I’m gonna stop with that one. Next up, “HOMЯ” (S12:E9). Homer discovers the exciting process of motion capture animation at the Totally Sick, Twisted, F***ed-Up Animation Festival and wants to buy a suit gizmo of his own. I bet we can guess where he goes to withdraw his life’s savings. Who knew that a ficus plant could so successfully hide Homer pretending to be Bart and one of his kids?
Our next appearance may be my second favorite (the monkey masks always win) because it’s in the episode with Steve Buscemi voicing a character. In “I Don’t Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings” (S19:E4), Marge meets Dwight when he was robbing our new bank aka a “shootie stealie.” Old Jewish Man also teaches us the bank used to be the Midwest Savings & Loan and before that an abandoned theater and before that a theater. The bank’s look has changed to the one we see in TSTO.
Towards the beginning of “Chief of Hearts” (S21:E18), we see Homer headed to the bank but alas, they don’t allow food inside. Homer hides his candy apple in his pocket which is mistaken for a gun. Homer can’t explain himself because the caramel has gummed up his mouthtrap so instead he gets tazed and sentenced to community service.
The last appearance I’ll mention is “500 Keys” (S22:E21). Maggie gets locked in the family car, sleeping on her stomach in a wedding cake, and the family is frantic to get her out. While searching for the spare in the key drawer, we learn that the Simpsons have a lot of keys (I’m betting the number is 500). Don’t fret for Maggie, she makes it but the rest of the episode includes family mischief and a mystery courtesy of the keys. I don’t want to ruin the mystery involving Gil jumping off a building, a wind-up hate crime, a blimp that’s not Homer, and Bus 23 or the joy of watching a super-interconnected episode of ideas that’s worth a watch, but there is a shot of Principal Skinner leaving the First Bank of Springfield. I guess he banks there too.
So there you go friends. Lots of appearances by a premium offering during the 2016 TSTO Superheroes Sequel. This building is a classic to me so I snatched up the item but I know everyone can’t be as frivolous as me in the game. Sometimes all the premiums feel like you’d need to take out a loan for them. Anyone know of a good bank? I figure seeing origins can be a good option besides owning them. Or maybe they only drive consumerism? Anyhoo… I’ll stop discussing BS and head off to stare at my own meager savings. Sound off with your thoughts and happy classy tapping.
TTFN… Wookiee out!