Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
Is your motor running? Are you looking for adventure? Ready to get out on the highway? Have your biker shorts on? Well then you’re ready to tackle the all-new mini-event to hit TSTO….Springfield Chopper!
Remember, this event is designed to follow a series of tasks via the questline to unlock prizes. For each of the parts of the Springfield Turf Wars questline, you’ll have to earn via various character tasks in order to unlock the prize for that part.
So let’s take a look at the final prize of this mini-event, a full character, Spiro…
Spiro (Papadapaconstanti) is a brand new character for Springfield and part of the Springfield Choppers Character Collection:
How You Unlock it:
Springfield Turf Wars Pt. 5
Make Homer Eat it Hard- 4hrs
Make Wilbur Nurple Prevail- 4hrs
Collect Gas Cans- x125.
Once achieved you’ll unlock Spiro…
WDTCF: “Gone Abie Gone”, S24, E4
Spiro does come with a full questline, here’s a look at that questline:
Classin’ Up the Joint Pt. 1
Meathook: Ramrod, when you sink the cue ball on the break then it’s game over!
Ramrod: I’m playing by official billiards rules, not Meathook rules!
Meathook: Bar fight!
Ramrod: *breaks beer bottle*
Spiro: That’s enough! I told you guys only one bar fight per day…and you’ve already had three!
Meathook: One of those wasn’t a fight. It was a brawl.
Ramrod: No, it was a fight!
Meathook: It was a brawl!
Ramrod: Bar fight!
Meathook: Bar brawl!
Spiro: *front door opens* Rita LaFleur? Man, you’re a sight for sore eyes.
Rita LaFleur: Well, if it isn’t Spiro Papadapaconstantikasgianopolopodopotopolis. How have the years treated you, my old Greek friend?
Spiro: Rita, you shouldn’t be here. This place isn’t the same classy lounge you used to sing at. It’s become something worse than a dive bar but better than a Cabo-style Cantina…it’s now a biker bar.
Rita LaFleur: Don’t worry Spiro, I can handle a few wild hogs.
Meathook: *slams Ramrod against the counter* I’ll gut you like a gutter rat!
Rita LaFleur: I’m here because I’m coming out of retirement and back onto the stage. So I thought…why don’t we make this joint the hottest venue in town again?
Spiro: I don’t know. I sort of have a good thing going here. A regular clientele that keeps me in business.
Ramrod: *hits Meathook with pool cue*
Meathook: *throws Ramrod through window*
Spiro: Okay, maybe you’re right. But if we’re doing this, then we need Abe Simpson. You two sure made sweet music together.
Rita LaFleur: We also made sweet love.
Spiro: I always suspected that and now you’ve confirmed it.
Make Spiro Go Talk to Abe- 4hrs
Make Rita LaFleur Go Talk to Abe- 4hrs
Make Meathook Break a Bottle Over Ramrod’s Head- 4hrs
Make Ramrod Crack a Pool Cue in Two- 4hrs
Rita LaFleur: It won’t be the same unless you’re there, Abe. I feel naked on that stage without you.
Grampa: I feel naked right now! Do we have to discuss this during my sponge bath?!
Spiro: Look Abe, just picture it…the return of Spiro’s as a classy lounge. The marquee will read Rita LaFleur and Abe Simpson.
Grampa: Hmm, I do like a prominent marquee. Will it be prominent?
Spiro: It’ll be the biggest marquee west of the Mississippi.
Grampa: Then you’ve got yourself a deal.
Rita LaFleur: I’m so excited, Abe!
Old Jewish Man: Okay, okay, it’s my turn for my bath, so can you guys get going? Unless you want to stay and watch. I don’t care. It’s up to you.
Classin’ Up the Joint Pt. 2
Grampa: Spiro, what the heck happened to this place? It used to be classy. I mean, how are we supposed to play on a stage with a metal cage around it?
Spiro: Oh, you’ll learn to love the cage. Especially when the crowd gets rowdy.
Grampa: Come on, Spiro! You gotta class this place up before a dame like Rita takes the stage.
Spiro: Hmm, what if we turned the basement downstairs into a speakeasy? That way I can keep the biker bar upstairs, and then downstairs can be the classiest joint in Springfield. We’ll call it…Spiro’s Gyros.
Rita LaFleur: Spiro’s Gyros?
Spiro: Look, not that many words rhyme with Spiro. Plus, nobody will suspect a kebab place as a speakeasy.
Grampa: As long as there’s a secret password to get into the speakeasy, I’m in.
Spiro: How about “pineapple”?
Rita LaFleur: Too obvious.
Grampa: What if the password is “password”?
Spiro: That’s perfect! No one would guess that!
Make Spiro Class up the Joint- 4hrs
Make Rita and Abe Practice Tunes- 4hrs
Grampa: MY HEART DOES THE TWO-STEP WHEN YOU’RE AROUND.
Rita LaFleur: JUST ONE LOOK AT YOU AND I’M SIX FEET UNDERGROUND. These new lyrics are great, Abe.
Spiro: Wow, you guys sound like no time has passed.
Grampa: Well, I still need to hit the oxygen tank in between each verse.
Rita LaFleur: Yeah, and I wish I didn’t need an electric-lift to climb onto the piano.
Spiro: Look, I think we’re ready to take this live. We just need to get the word out. Not too out, mind you, since we want our speakeasy to be simultaneously hoppin’ but also very difficult to find and get into. I can’t afford marketing, so the only thing to do is to exploit Springfield’s children to get the word out.
Grampa: I’m pretty sure I can ask my grandson to help out. Being a kid, he probably knows tons of ’em!
Classin’ Up the Joint Pt. 3
Homer: Dad, for the last time: you can’t live here.
Grampa: I’m not trying to live here, you idiot. I’m here to talk to Bart.
Homer: Oh, thank God. Because you living here would have sucked. Big time.
Grampa: You know, I can hear everything you’re saying — I’m right here.
Homer: Are you sure? Because in between everything you say, you stare off into the distance for a couple minutes.
Grampa: I was dancin’ under the moonlight with my favorite gal, Eva Braun. And now because of your interruption, she ditched me for that good-for-nothing Hitler!
Homer: Bart, your Grampa’s here to talk to you! And hurry up because each word that comes out of his mouth scares me more and more about getting older.
Bart: How’s it hangin’, Gramps?
Grampa: Since you represent the Springfield Kids Union, I want you to get all the kids to help me promote this speakeasy I’m headlining.
Bart: Whoa, that’s a lot of information to unpack. Speakeasy? Headlining?
Grampa: What are you, a parrot?
Bart: Look, if you want my youngsters working for you, you’re gonna have to meet our demands.
Grampa: Okay. Spiro owns the bar. I’ll send him to come work out the details with you.
Spiro: What do you need, kid?
Bart: You’re a union shop now, you hear? First off, the bullies now represent all your protection needs.
Spiro: It’s a biker bar. I’ve got a gang. We really don’t need—
Bart: Second, the dweebs’ll be covering your accounting. You need them to get creative with the books, you just say the word.
Spiro: I don’t have any books. I have a mostly empty cash register and a pile of bills. That’s why I’m opening this speakeasy.
Bart: And lastly, the youngster teamsters now handle your deliveries. It’s a bit slower with everything coming via skateboard, but you’ll get your goods fair and square.
Spiro: *sigh* Alright, agreed. So you’ll take care of marketing my new speakeasy?
Bart: Generation Z has got it covered.
Make Youngsters Hand Out Spiro’s Flyers- x10. 4hrs
Make Spiro Practice Making Classy Drinks- 1hr
Classin’ Up the Joint Pt. 4
Spiro: I can’t believe it’s opening night. I haven’t been this nervous since meeting Yanni in an elevator. Are you two ready?
Rita LaFleur: I was born ready. How about you, Abe?
Grampa: I have to take a zizz, but then I’ll be ready.
Spiro: There’s a pretty good line outside of people wanting to get in. But Otto’s got the door all under control.
Stogie: The name’s Stogie. “Password”.
Otto: Indeed, Mr. Stogie sir. Come right in. There’s a table reserved for you. Next!
Quimby: The password is, er, uh, “password”?
Otto: Your password is correct, man. Have a nice time. Next! Oh, uh…what was your name?
Ramrod: Ramrod. Let us in.
Otto: You’re not on the list. You got the password?
Meathook: What? Not on the list? Check for Meathook.
Otto: Yeah, I’m not seeing it.
Spiro: Whoa, you guys can’t be here. Downstairs is Spiro’s Gyros. Upstairs is Spiro’s Heroes. We’re trying to keep it classy, you understand.
Ramrod: Can you believe this, Meathook? This guy thinks we’re not classy.
Meathook: Ramrod, I think we should show him just how classy we can be. *takes out chain*
Spiro: Okay, I’ll let you in. Just please no bar fights or bar brawls. Please!
Make Spiro Strictly Enforce the Guest List- 4hrs
Make Meathook Start a Bar Fight- 4hrs
Make Ramrod Start a Bar Fight- 4hrs
Make Abe and Rita Sing Through the Fighting- 4hrs
Grampa: MY HEART DOES THE TWO-STEP WHEN YOU’RE AROUND.
Meathook: *throws Stogie over the counter* Dance, old man!
Rita LaFleur: JUST ONE LOOK AT YOU AND I’M SIX FEET UNDERGROUND.
Ramrod: *breaks bottle over Quimby’s head* Your head is my personal bottle opener!
Grampa: YOU’D BETTER CALL THE DOCTOR BEFORE WE EMBRACE…
Quimby: Yes…please…I need a doctor.
Classin’ Up the Joint Pt. 5
Spiro: Alright, look. How about we compromise? I re-open Spiro’s Gyros in the speakeasy downstairs, but this time it’s a classy biker lounge.
Meathook: So what does that mean? Martinis and champagne but also beer nuts, pickled eggs, and crusty pool tables?
Spiro: And gyros, that’s important. But also the classy music. It’s got to have
Ramrod: Oh, I get it. You’re thinking late ’70s rock instead of early ’80s rock?
Spiro: No, I’m thinking live jazz on a stage.
Ramrod: Fine. Let’s do this. Just make sure there’s a couple Harleys on display. And add chicken wings to the menu. Everybody loves wings.
Make Spiro Re-Open Spiro’s Gyros and Biker Lounge- 4hrs
Make Meathook Take in a Show- 4hrs
Make Ramrod Have a Martini- 4hrs
Ramrod: You know, Spiro, I like this new place. I think I could get used to it.
Meathook: Yeah. But it feels like it’s missing one thing.
Spiro: And what’s that?
Ramrod: Bar fight!
Meathook: Bar brawl!
Spiro’s Permanent Tasks:
|Practice Making Classy Drinks||1hr||$70, 17xp||Outside/Visual|
|Class Up the Joint||4hrs||$175, 45xp||Outside/Visual|
|Break Up Another Bar Fight||8hrs||$275, 70xp||Spiros/Various Other Bars in Springfield|
|Relive the Glory Days||12hrs||$420, 100xp||Peacock Lounge/Little Black Box/Spiros|
|Shop Around for Cheaper Beer Nuts||24hrs||$600, 150xp||SprawlMart/CostMo/Try-N-Save|
And that’s it my friends, the details on Spiro and his efforts to class up Spiro’s…
Up Next? Nada. You’ve completed the Springfield Choppers mini-event, congratulations! Now spend some time working the new items into your Springfield and get ready for the next Springfield Showoff!
Thoughts on Spiro? Questline? Tasks? Event? Sound off below.