Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
Homer’s looking for a new bar in Springfield! Ready to drink around Springfield with Homer J?! Well, this is the mini-event for you!
Remember, this event is designed to follow a series of tasks via the questline to unlock prizes. For each of the parts of The Long Way Homer questline, you’ll have to earn via various character tasks in order to unlock the prize for that part.
So let’s take a look at the fourth prize for this mini-event, Colette…
Colette is a brand new character for Springfield and part of the Tavern Trouble Character Collection:
How You Unlock it:
The Long Way Homer Pt. 4
Make Homer Apply a Cunning Disguise- 4hrs
Collect Bottle Caps- x115.
Once achieved you’ll unlock Colette…
WDTCF: “Flaming Moe’s”, S10, E3
Colette does come with a full questline, here’s a look at that questline:
A Star is Broken Pt. 1
Marge: Oh, hello Colette. It’s nice to see you back in Springfield! How was it out in Hollywood?
Colette: I tried my best to make it as an actress, but it didn’t happen. I just ended up working crappy jobs… So now I’m back home having failed at achieving my lifelong dream.
Marge: So did you audition for any famous movies?!
Colette: Sure. I auditioned to play Harley Quinn, Captain Marvel, Wonder Woman, Rey from Star Wars…
Marge: Wow, those are all really big roles! Did you really think they’d hire an unknown actress?
Colette: You’ve got to believe in yourself, Marge. Always shoot for the stars! And in my case “Star Wars” — which I didn’t get.
Marge: At least they let you audition. That’s pretty cool.
Colette: Well, I mostly cornered the casting people while they took their lunch breaks.
Marge: Well, I bet the food in Hollywood was good at least.
Colette: Yeah, if you like fifteen salads with barely any dressing on it…
Make Colette Talk About Auditioning- 3hrs
Make Marge Be Fascinated by Colette’s Stories- 3hrs
Colette: So then I auditioned for the lead in “The Carrie Nation Story”, but they cast Dash Calhoun because they said they wanted to “play against type”.
Marge: Your life in Hollywood was so fascinating!
Colette: If you consider constant rejection while working demeaning jobs fascinating, sure.
Marge: Colette, our PTA group is holding a fundraiser, and it would be great to have you come speak about your experiences.
Colette: Marge, no offense, but I’m not really interested in having my stereotypical failure held up for the entertainment of others.
Marge: We can pay you fifty bucks.
Colette: As we say in acting, a gig’s a gig.
A Star is Broken Pt. 2
Helen Lovejoy: We have an amazing lineup for this PTA fundraiser, folks! This is a group of people who have all made their dreams come true…
Colette: Yeah, if your dream was to be dogwalker to the stars…
Marge: It’s true!
Helen Lovejoy: I’d like to introduce Tabitha Vixx!
Tabitha Vixx: I don’t know how I ended up at this school function thing, but hi?!
Helen Lovejoy: Here’s Rainier Wolfcastle!
Wolfcastle: I’m more famous than Amos.
Helen Lovejoy: And lastly, Colette, whose last name I do not know!
Colette: Look guys, I’m not a success story. I spent more time removing edamame shells for people like Tabitha Vixx than actually working with them.
Tabitha Vixx: Eating off bean is barbaric!
Wolfcastle: Look, as the most famous star at this event, I will now take up all of the remaining time telling the same stories I have already shared on every late night show and podcast.
Patty: Quiet, Muscle Boy! We want to hear Colette’s story.
Make Colette Tell Celebrity Stories- 5hrs
Make Springfielders Be Fascinated by Colette’s Stories- x3. 5hrs
Make Wolfcastle Resent Not Being the Center of Attention- 5hrs
Colette: …and Rainier Wolfcastle won’t eat a steak if the gravy from his mashed potatoes makes contact with it.
Wolfcastle: I thought I made all my waiters sign NDAs!
Agnes: What a crazy life you’ve led in Hollywood!
A Star is Broken Pt. 3
Krusty: …and that’s the reason I’m permanently banned from Madison Square Garden.
Opal: Uh, thank you for that fascinating story, Krusty. Now I want a big Opal Show welcome for our next guest, Springfield’s latest celebrity sensation: Colette!
Colette: Um, thanks, Opal. All this attention still feels pretty foreign to me.
Opal: Colette, people are fascinated by your unique and highly original experience of trying to make it in Hollywood and falling flat on your face, then having to move back home.
Colette: It’s sort of a story as old as time.
Opal: No! These are the stories that need to be told, Colette! And everyone loves the way you’re telling it!
Colette: Well, I mean, it’s all true what people say about Hollywood — it’s brutal. And no one really ever “makes it”.
Opal: What do you mean by that?
Colette: Like, take a look at Krusty here. After all of his success, you’d think he’d be happier. But he’s just as obsessed and self-absorbed as ever!
Krusty: Is that what people think about me? I’m calling my agent, manager, publicist, and blue-haired lawyer!
Colette: See? And that’s a straight white man in Hollywood who has it easy.
Make Colette Explain Being a Woman in Hollywood- 4hrs
Make Opal Be Horrified AND Fascinated- 4hrs
Make Krusty Panic Call His Lawyer- 4hrs
Colette: …and that’s how I didn’t get the role in Power Rangers the Movie.
Opal: My goodness, I’m shocked!
Krusty: Me too! I mean, that’s crazy!
Opal: On that note, I want everyone in our audience to check under their seats because Colette has graciously gifted everyone a link to her Venmo account because she is in a lot of credit card debt and needs the money!
A Star is Broken Pt. 4
Diane: Colette, I’m super-excited to be working with you on a live action feature based on your unusual and surprising story of trying to make it in Hollywood!
Colette: I really don’t think it’s that surprising.
Diane: So modest — I love it! Now let’s start with you telling your story to Brandon here so he can write the screenplay.
Jeremy: Actually my name is Jeremy.
Diane: Oh, I didn’t mean to hire you. I thought you were Brandon. Well, I’m sure you’ll do a good job.
Colette: So…my dad was always busy with work, and my mom was always busy taking care of him. I tried to get his attention by putting on little plays where I’d pretend to be a princess. All he cared about was watching football, so then I’d cut the power from the house and then do the plays.
Make Colette Tell Her Life Story- 2hrs
Make Diane Fall Asleep Listening to Colette’s Life Story- 2hrs
Make Jeremy Quit- 2hrs
Diane: Colette, I’m gonna stop you right there. Everything in your life aside from when you were in Hollywood is boring and terrible. Let’s start with when you arrive in Hollywood after hitchhiking with the man you later learned was a serial killer!
Colette: What? That’s not what happened. I just drove my car to Hollywood.
Jeremy: Serial killer! I can work with that! It pretty much writes itself.
Diane: Then in that case, you’re fired. Someone bring in Brandon and get him to do it for half.
A Star is Broken Pt. 5
Opal: People, it is exciting to be here for the press conference announcing Colette starring in the movie that will be based on her life: “A Springfield Star is Born”!
Colette: Gosh, I’m so excited to be here, Opal!
Sherri and Terri: Colette, you’re the best! We love you.
Kent Brockman: Not so fast, kids. Kent Brockman here with breaking news! In a Channel 6 exclusive, we have learned that while in Hollywood, Colette shot a tourism commercial…for Shelbyville!
Colette: Wait! I can explain! I was desperate for money!
Kent Brockman: Let’s roll the tape.
Colette: Want to get away from it all while in a town steeped in good, old-fashioned American charm but without burning tire fires and toxic lakes? Then visit scenic Shelbyville for the delightful vacation of a lifetime. And be sure to take Interstate 72 on your way in to avoid Springfield!
Sherri and Terri: Colette, you’re the worst! We hate you!
Make Colette Explain Her Past Mistakes- 4hrs
Make Springfielders React in Shock and Anger- x3. 4hrs
Make Opal Pretend She Doesn’t Know Colette- 4hrs
Colette: Opal, you understand right?
Opal: Honey, I don’t even know who you are anymore.
Colette: But I needed the money! I hate Shelbyville!
Opal: Sweetie, you’re done in this town.
Colette: Now what do I do?
Opal: Allow me to buy the documentary rights to the story of your fall from grace. People eat stuff like that up on streaming!
Colette: On one condition.
Opal: Okay, you can star in it.
Colette: Great! I was just going to ask to have approval on what the poster looks like!
Colette’s Permanent Tasks:
|Grab a Quick Cup of Coffee Before Work||1hr||$70, 17xp||Java Server/Nighthawk Diner/Brown House|
|Explain her Past Mistakes||4hrs||$175, 45xp||Outside/Visual|
|Look for an Acting Gig||8hrs||$275, 70xp||Krustylu/Nickel ‘N’ Dime Animation/Businesses in Springfield/Brown House|
|Treat Herself to Some Shopping Therapy||12hrs||$420, 100xp||Springfield Mall/Costington’s/Businesses in Springfield/Brown House|
|Work a Double Shift||24hrs||$600, 150xp||Outside/Visual|
And that’s it my friends, the details on Colette!
Up Next? Nada. You’ve completed the Tavern Trouble mini-event (provided you’ve unlocked the beer fountain that we covered here), congratulations! Now spend some time working the new items into your Springfield and get ready for the next Springfield Showoff!
Thoughts on Scotty? Questline? Tasks? Event? Sound off below.