Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
Who’s ready to take a trip into the multi-verse?! Get ready for the many Homer, and other Simpson, doppelgangers to invade our Springfields through the multi-verse portal in the latest multi-event to hit our Springfield’s…Into the Simpsonsverse!
Act 1 of this event ushered in one new premium character to help navigate this event. Noir Lisa is an all-new premium character for Springfield, who will not only help earn event currency but also comes with a short questline.
So let’s take a look at the questline for Noir Lisa, here’s the full dialogue for Beauty and the Bedwetter…
Beauty and the Bedwetter Pt. 1
Noir Lisa starts
Milhouse: I swear! I do have a girlfriend!
Nelson: Right. Lemme guess…she goes to another school.
Milhouse: No, she goes to our school!
Nelson: Whoa! I didn’t think you had it in you!
Milhouse: In another reality.
Nelson: There’s the Milhouse we know.
Noir Lisa: Milhouse, darling, we’re still on for our date tonight, yes?
Milhouse: Uh, yeah, definitely!
Noir Lisa: Wonderful. It’s some place fancy, right? Befitting a classy dame like me?
Nelson: And definitely the most expensive place, right Milhouse?
Noir Lisa: Oh good. Then I’m off to buy a new dress. Ciao.
Make Noir Lisa Shop for a New Dress- 2hrs
Make Milhouse Panic- 2hrs
Milhouse: Bart, you gotta help me. I don’t know where to take my date!
Bart: Well, what kinda things is she into?
Milhouse: I don’t really know. She likes walking slowly through dimly lit alleys with lots of steam… And she likes standing in dark rooms behind the shadows of the window blinds while slow saxophone music plays.
Bart: *thinking to himself* Hmm, I could offer good advice to help my friend, OR I could offer terrible advice because the result would be hilarious to watch. I opt for hilarity!
Bart: *thinking to himself* Oh, sorry. I meant to just think that. Wait, now I’m thinking this line. Dangit, this is hard to keep straight.
Milhouse: So where should I take her?
Bart: I think it’s obvious, Milhouse. For an elegant girl like her, you gotta take her to an escape room.
Milhouse: Hmm, that doesn’t seem like something she’d like, but you’ve never steered me wrong before!
Bart: You have a very short memory.
Beauty and the Bedwetter Pt. 2
Noir Lisa starts
Milhouse: Dad, please! I just need an advance on six months of my allowance.
Kirk: Ah, fine. But only because it’s for a girl and I can see you’re quite the ladies’ man, just like your old man. We gotta keep that Van Houten charm going.
Noir Lisa: I’m ready to go, Milhouse. Where are you taking me?
Milhouse: We’re gonna go to an escape room.
Noir Lisa: I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that before.
Milhouse: Oh, I have it on good authority that it’s super classy, and SUPER romantic.
Make Milhouse Take Noir Lisa to an Escape Room- 4hrs
Make Noir Lisa Go to an Escape Room- 4hrs
Milhouse: You sit there looking beautiful and leave the escaping to me. If I can get out of gym three years in a row, I can get us out of here.
Noir Lisa: *narrating* She sighed, bored. I’m so bored, I’ve started narrating!
: Well, knock it off! This story already has a narrator, and it’s me.
Noir Lisa: *narrating* He said, peevishly.
: She narrated, amateurishly.
Noir Lisa: Alright, I’ll stop.
Milhouse: Okay, so let’s document everything in the room…We’ve got a journal here with some encoded messages in it. A treasure chest in the corner there. An apothecary’s desk full of potions…
: Four hours later…
Milhouse: Help!!!! Help, we’re trapped in here! Somebody!!!!
Noir Lisa: Super romantic, huh?
Beauty and the Bedwetter Pt. 3
Noir Lisa starts
Milhouse: *hyperventilates into a paper bag*
Noir Lisa: Okay, now just breathe, Milhouse.
Milhouse: *breathing heavily* It’s sudden onset claustrophobia, I promise.
Noir Lisa: Sure. You just stay there, kid, and let me take the lead on getting us out of here… I’ve dated enough hard-boiled detectives in my time to have picked up a few things.
: Seven minutes later…
Noir Lisa: And then we just need to insert the silver key upside-down into this lock, and we should be done.
Make Noir Lisa Solve the Escape Room- 4hrs
Make Milhouse Hyperventilate- 4hrs
Milhouse: *runs out of escape room* Oh, my goodness. We’re finally out.
Bart: *pointing at Milhouse* Haw haw!
Nelson: Hey, you gotta pay royalties for that! *punches Bart in the arm*
Bart: Ow…worth it, though.
Beauty and the Bedwetter Pt. 4
Noir Lisa starts
Noir Lisa: I’m sorry, kid, but I just don’t think it’s gonna work out between you and me.
Milhouse: Was it the panic-induced oversharing about my bedwetting?
Noir Lisa: Let’s just say that was one of many nails in the coffin. I’m off now. See you around, kid. *walks away*
Milhouse: Wow…What a classy dame…
Make Noir Lisa Be a Classy Dame- 4hrs
And that’s it my friends, Noir Lisa’s premium dialogue.
Thoughts on the event? Did you buy Noir Lisa? Thoughts on the dialogue? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!