Into the Simpsonsverse Premium Dialogue: Evil Godmother Burns and Princess Jules

Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!

Who’s ready to take a trip into the multi-verse?!  Get ready for the many Homer, and other Simpson, doppelgangers to invade our Springfields through the multi-verse portal in the latest multi-event to hit our Springfield’s…Into the Simpsonsverse!

Act 2 of this Enlightened event has ushered in one new premium character to help navigate our way to true enlightenment and one new character as part of the Gil Deal.  Evil Godmother Burns is an all-new premium character for Springfield, who will not only help earn event currency but also comes with a questline.  While Princess Jules is the character offered with this event’s Gil Deal…and will not earn event currency, but will likely make you giggle with her questline.

So let’s take a look at the questline for the Poison Apple Godmother and the Princess with a firey attitude.  Here are the full dialogue questlines for Careers in Villainy and The Way the Cookie Crumbles…

Let’s kick things off with Evil Godmother Burns…

More details on Evil Godmother Burns can be found here

Careers in Villainy Pt. 1
Evil Godmother Burns starts

Wiggum: And so kids, that’s why I keep my gun in my belt at all times, instead of my holster. Way faster to pull it out, see. And way, way cooler looking.
Skinner: Oh, well that’s wonderful. Thank you, Chief Wiggum, for coming to speak to the kids.
Ralph: My name is Wiggum too!
Skinner: Now kids, please welcome our next speaker for career day: Evil Godmother Burns.
Evil Godmother Burns: Yes, thank you, thank you. Now where should I begin? Oh yes. The merits of villainy as a career choice.
Make Evil Godmother Burns Speak to the Kids on Careers in Villainy- 4hrs

Careers in Villainy Pt. 2
Evil Godmother Burns starts

Evil Godmother Burns: …and thus you want to be sure to line your volcano lair with a tungsten alloy for the most heat-resistance. Any questions?
Skinner: It appears today’s schoolchildren are powerfully attracted to evil.
Evil Godmother Burns: It makes you feel good about the younger generation.
Make Kids Ask Questions About Careers in Villainy- x5. 4hrs
Make Evil Godmother Burns Deflect Annoying Questions With Magic- 4hrs
Make Skinner Assign Detention- 4hrs
Bart: Uh, yeah. I’ve got a question, Mrs. Evil Godmother…
Evil Godmother Burns: It’s just Miss. But fingers crossed.
Bart: What classification of villain pays the best? Would you recommend a mastermind or perhaps a supreme evil being?
Evil Godmother Burns: Excellent question. It really depends. Masterminds are near the top of the pay scale, but being an employer can be stressful… Henchmen on the other hand have a very strong union. Whatever you do, avoid the anti-villain league. Nobody needs a sympathetic backstory, thank you very much.

Careers in Villainy Pt. 3
Evil Godmother Burns starts

Skinner: We’d like to give a big thanks to all our guest speakers for coming today. Let’s show them our appreciation, kids. I said clap!
Wiggum: Lou, I got a funny feeling about this Evil Godmother Burns character. Like I’m thinking she might be…
Lou: Evil?
Wiggum: Not sure if that’s the word, but yeah, something like that.I think maybe we should take her in for questioning.
Lou: *approaches her* Excuse me, Evil Godmother Burns? We’d like to have a word with—
Evil Godmother Burns: You’ll never catch me. To my castle! *runs away*
Lou: These villains really gotta stop screaming where they’re runnin’ off to. Kinda gives away the chase.
Make Evil Godmother Burns Cast Protection Hexes- 4hrs
Make Cops Storm the Castle- x3. 4hrs
Eddie: Chief, she’s putting up magical protection hexes all over the castle. There’s no way for us to break through!
Evil Godmother Burns: Mwaaahahaha! My magic is too strong for your puny guns!
Wiggum: Sounds like we’ll have to go with the surface-to-air missiles.
Lou: Chief, I don’t think we’ve got the budget for that.
Wiggum: Do we not? What about the subterranean man-operated drills? We surprise her from below.
Lou: Don’t think so.
Wiggum: Gah, well you win this time, Evil Godmother Burns. But we’ll be back! With surface-to-air missiles!
Lou: Probably not with those.
Wiggum: Probably not with those, but with something!

And now onto Princess Jules…

More details on Princess Jules can be found here

The Way the Cookie Crumbles Pt. 1
Princess Jules starts

: Previously on “Cookie Castle”…

Princess Jules: You will all pay for your cookie insolence through the wrath of the royal unicorn!
Royal Unicorn: Neeeiiiggghhhh!!!!
Squeaky Voice Peasant: *gets impaled by unicorn* Gah! This hole in my heart has become an actual hole!
Princess Jules: Onward trusty steed! To the Land of Fruits and Vegetables! It shall burn to the ground for its lack of dessert-ey goodness!
Make Princess Jules Burn the Land- 12hrs
Make Squeaky Voice Peasant Keep Pressure on the Wound- 12hrs

The Way the Cookie Crumbles Pt. 2
Princess Jules starts

Kent Brockman: Welcome back to Channel 6. This week on “Cookie Castle”: Princess Jules doesn’t realize she’s in the real world now.
Princess Jules: I have seen my kingdom from the sky, and it is not to my liking. There are not nearly enough cookies! I demand more dessert-based real estate!
Bridge Troll Moe: But, your highness, the amount of flour for that much cake batter would be overwhelming. What about the Celiacs?
Princess Jules: The gluten-intolerant shall be purged from my kingdom!
Royal Unicorn: Neeeiiiggghhhh!!!!
Bridge Troll Moe: *gets impaled by unicorn* Gah! Shoulda seen that coming…
Roscoe: Your highness, I, uh…I don’t want to get impaled by the unicorn, but I am concerned about the structural rigidity of cookie-based framing.
Royal Unicorn: Neigh…
Roscoe: Nevermind, I’m on it!
Make Princess Jules Eat Lunch 4hrs
Make Roscoe Frame Buildings With Cookie Dough 4hrs
Cereal Box: Try the new Frosty Chocolate Sugar Clumps cereal today! Includes your daily balance of frostiness, clumps, and fiber! And now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

The Way the Cookie Crumbles Pt. 3
Princess Jules starts

: We now return to “Cookie Castle”. In the Cookie Kingdom of Springfield, Princess Jules rules with an iron fist full of sweets. Also a murderous unicorn.
Princess Jules: And let this proclamation go forth, that all who oppose snickerdoodle Saturdays shall be waterboarded in chocolate milk! Speaking of milk. I think I’ll have a nice big bowl of Frosty Chocolate Sugar Clumps. Available now at your local grocer.
: Meanwhile, a few blocks away on Cookiegreen Terrace…
Lisa: Bart, Princess Jules is taking over the whole town! This is awful.
Bart: But, also delicious.
Lisa: But don’t you do the voice-over for Princess Jules on “Cookie Castle”?
Bart: I don’t see how that’s relevant.
Lisa: Well…haven’t you already recorded the VO for everything Princess Jules is doing right now? Can’t you just tell us what happens next so we know how to stop her?
Bart: Lis, I didn’t even realize I was playing a girl when I first started on that show. You really think I paid close enough attention to remember what happens next?
Make Princess Jules Announce Tiramisu Tuesdays 2hrs
Make Bart Try to Remember His VO Session 2hrs
Lisa: Anything?
Bart: Nope, nothing. In my defense, that VO session was months ago, and I don’t even remember yesterday.
Lisa: I know. Yesterday was my birthday.
Bart: Let’s not get off-track.
Lisa: What about the script? Do you still have it?
Bart: Hmm, I usually burn the script pages for warmth when Dad forgets to pay the heating bill. But I might have a few pages left.

The Way the Cookie Crumbles Pt. 4
Princess Jules starts

Fat Tony: Your highness, I appreciate you letting my boys come work for you. Now what is it we can do?
Princess Jules: You can lead my royal unicorn to my enemies so that they may be impaled with the might of my benevolent rule!
Fat Tony: Why, of course. They’ll be swimming with the fishes by sundown.
Princess Jules: Ugh, I don’t like fish. Too salty. Can they swim with the Swedish fish?
Lisa: *spying from the bushes* Bart, she’s resorting to murder now. Well, more murder than before. We have to find those script pages!
Make Bart Search for His Script Pages 2hrs
Make Lisa Get Stuck in the Bushes 2hrs
Make Princess Jules Take a Swim in the Pudding Pool- 2hrs
Bart: I found the last few pages of the script!
Lisa: Quick, what do they say?
Bart: *reading* Um, let’s see…the royal unicorn impales the peasant through the heart…
Lisa: Yep, already done that. Skip forward.
Bart: *reading* Princess Jules does product placement for Frosty Chocolate Sugar Clumps…
Lisa:Way ahead of you. Keep going.
Bart: *reading* Lisa asks Bart if he did voice over for Princess Jules on Cookie Castle.
Lisa: Keep going.
Bart: *reading* Lisa says “keep going”.
Lisa: Keep going.
Bart: *reading* Lisa says “keep going” again.
Lisa: *annoyed sound*
Bart: *reading* Lisa makes an annoyed sound. *reading* Lisa flips to the back of script. *reading* Bart says okay here it is… Okay here it is. Princess Jules blows up the nuclear power plant, with the help of an inside man, to wipe out all of Springfield and make way for her new cookie-based construction.
Lisa:How would you not remember that?
Bart: It’s kinda coming back to me.
Lisa: What about this inside man? Does it say who it is?
Bart: *reading* Uh…you’re not gonna like it, but you’re also not gonna be the least bit surprised.

The Way the Cookie Crumbles Pt. 5
Princess Jules starts

Homer: Oh sweet, delectable Princess. I pledge my fealty to you and agree to blow up the nuclear reactor.
Princess Jules: Yes, in exchange for a mansion made of Moon Pies and jelly beans. It is agreed, then.
Lisa: Dad, no! You can’t do this!
Homer: Lisa, this doesn’t concern you. This is between me and my pathetic weakness in the face of temptation.
Princess Jules: That’s right, little girl. There’s nothing you can do now. You see, you must remember one very important thing… I am a dim-witted, inbred, simpleton. Wait, no I’m not. Why did I say that? Probably because I was kicked by a donkey as a child which turned me into an unsightly gasbag. *gasp* What is happening to me?! Why am I saying these things?!
Lisa: You see, Princess Jules, you must remember one very important thing too… Voice-over pickups! That’s right. Bart is in the studio right now re-recording your lines as you say them.
Bart: I’m the ugliest Princess ever!
Princess Jules: *gasp*
Make Princess Jules Burn the Land- 12hrs
Make Squeaky Voice Peasant Keep Pressure on the Wound- 12hrs
Princess Jules: It seems my life is over. I have no control over myself.
Bart: And my breath smells like stinky feet.
Princess Jules: And I am a big doodyhead.

And that’s it my friends, the full stories behind Evil Godmother Burns and Princess Jules!

Thoughts on the event so far?  Have you purchased either Evil Godmother Burns or Princess Jules? Or both? Thoughts on the dialogue? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!

2 responses to “Into the Simpsonsverse Premium Dialogue: Evil Godmother Burns and Princess Jules

  1. The way the cookie crumbles. Squeaky Voice task completed, but the task to burn land won’t work for me. 😕

    • Andrew posted this 4 days ago, and it worked for others:

      “I had the same problem. What fixed it for me was:

      1. Storing Jules
      2. Storing the Royal Unicorn
      3. Quitting the game.
      4. Restarting my phone.
      5. Starting the game up again and taking Jules out of storage but NOT the Royal Unicorn
      6. Sending Jules on the “Burn the Land” task

      Some of that may be overkill (I don’t know if restarting your device is truly necessary), but it worked for me!”

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