Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
In our games, the snow is falling and TSTO is calling yoo hoo! It’s the most wonderful time of the year Tappers, Christmas in TSTO!
Act 2 of this event ushered in one new premium character to help navigate this holiday whodunnit and one premium outfit for an existing character in Springfield. Mark Tannenbaum is an all-new premium character for Springfield, who will not only help earn event currency but also comes with a short questline. While Santa Snake is a new costume for Snake, which also comes with a short questline.
So let’s take a look at the full dialogue questlines for both Mary Tannenbaum and Santa Snake…
When Mary Met Flandy Pt. 1
Mary Tannenbaum starts
Mary Tannenbaum: Mary does it again…another Friday night with no plans. I guess I’ll just watch “10 Things I Hate About You” for the ten-zillionth time. *turns on TV* Great. One of my Heartmark mystery movies is playing on the hotel TV…Actually, “Romancing the Scone: The Confectioner’s Confession” isn’t the worst.
Justice Agent: But you’re just a baker-turned-amateur-sleuth, how could you possibly know that the killer was left-handed?
Tabitha Vixx: It’s simple: Chef Pierre doesn’t spiral his cinnamon rolls clockwise, he spirals them…
Mary Tannenbaum: …COUNTERclockwise.
Tabitha Vixx: …COUNTERclockwise.
Mary Tannenbaum: I still can’t believe we got Tabitha Vixx to agree to do this.
Justice Agent: Chef Pierre was the killer all along! Arrest him!
French Waiter: Zut alors! I spit on your perfectly risen soufflé of detective work! *spits*
Tabitha Vixx: Don’t worry, Chef Pierre, I’m sure you’ll bake all the pastries you want from the prison kitchen.
French Waiter: Not if I escape! *hits officer with rolling pin and escapes*
Mary Tannenbaum: Oh no!! I totally forgot that I was supposed to write and direct a sequel to this! *types on laptop* And the script is due tomorrow?! It’s okay Mary, you got this. All you have to do is write an entire Heartmark movie in one night, fly back to the big city in the morning, and turn it in!
Make Mary Tannenbaum Write “Romancing the Scone 2”- 4hrs
Mary Tannenbaum: *typing* “THE END.” Romancing The Scone 2: The Fondant Fugitive” is ninety-five pages of formulaic fun! Ooh, and my Uber to the airport just arrived! Well, I guess this is goodbye, Springfield. I didn’t find love here, but at least I didn’t lose my highly lucrative job searching for it. Hopefully next year I’ll finally get my Christmas wish…
When Mary Met Flandy Pt. 2
Mary Tannenbaum starts
Mary Tannenbaum: I can’t believe I have to head back to the big city. I never even saw the Squidport or the Springfield Gorge…
Ned: Well, we could stop at the Gorge — it is on the way.
Mary Tannenbaum: *gasp* What the — oh my God! I completely forgot that I’m in an Uber to the airport!
Ned: Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you.
Mary Tannenbaum: No, I’m the one who should be apologizing. My brain’s running on fumes this morning! *shows laptop* I had to write an entire script last night and there wasn’t any coffee at the hotel — only powdered hot chocolate and horchata-flavored Mountain Dew.
Ned: Well, I can fix you up a cup of joe! *clicks button on espresso machine*
Mary Tannenbaum: You have an espresso machine in your car? That’s amazing!
Ned: What kind of milk do you take? Let me guess…oat?
Mary Tannenbaum: That is what I take! You might be the best Uber driver I’ve ever had.
Ned: Oh, I’m not really an Uber driver. I just do it on Saturdays to raise money for the victims of whatever the most recent natural disaster is. Today I’m raising money for the victims of the super-tornado in Maine and the mega-blizzard in San Diego. That pesky climate strikes again…
Mary Tannenbaum: I’m Mary by the way.
Ned: I know! Your name’s on the app — “Mary T.” My name’s Ned. Ned Flanders.
Mary Tannenbaum: Ned…I like that.
Ned: Well, here we are… The Springfield Gorge. Ain’t it pretty?
Mary Tannenbaum: I had to meet the perfect man right as I’m about to leave…
Ned: What was that?
Mary Tannenbaum: Oh, just that you’re right…it sure is pretty.
Make Mary Tannenbaum Take a Picture of the Springfield Gorge- 4hrs
Make Flanders Drive Mary Tannenbaum to the Airport- 4hrs
Ned: Well, here we are, Mary T. — the “Air Big City” Terminal at Springfield Airport.
Mary Tannenbaum: Well, I guess this is goodbye. Thanks for the espresso. If I ever come back to Springfield, I’m buying you a coffee!
Ned: It’s a deal! Safe travels! I sure liked that Mary T. *gasp* Oh no, she left her laptop in the backseat! Wait! Your laptop! Mary?! Well, I guess the only thing to do is to buy a plane ticket, go through security, and give her back her laptop myself!
When Mary Met Flandy Pt. 3
Mary Tannenbaum starts
Ned: Well, I don’t see her at the gate. Maybe she’s already on the plane…I guess I can get on, drop off the laptop, and get off before it takes off… Mary! You forgot your laptop!
Mary Tannenbaum:Ned?! Oh my gosh! My whole life was on there! Let alone the only copy of my script “Romancing the Scone 2: The Fondant Fugitive”! You just saved everything, Ned.
Intercom: Folks, this is your captain speaking. We have now closed the doors to the aircraft. Please fasten your seatbelts.
Ned: Oh no! The plane’s taking off!
Intercom: We will be arriving in the big city in a few short hours. On behalf of Big City Airlines, I’d like to say, “it’s our honor transporting you back from the small town you’ve just visited to the big city you certainly wish you never left”.
Ned: I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ON THIS PLANE. I’m small town Flanders, not Big City Ned!
Mary Tannenbaum: Don’t worry! I’ll pay for your ticket back! I’m so sorry, Ned.
Ned: Do you know what? It’s okay. I’ve never been to the big city before. Maybe it’ll be an adventure.
Mary Tannenbaum: Maybe it will…
Make Mary Tannenbaum Punch Up Her Script- 4hrs
Make Flanders Clap When the Plane Lands- 4hrs
Mary Tannenbaum:Well, I guess this is goodbye Ned…unless you want to spend some time in the big city with me.
Ned: Of course! I’d love you to show me around. First thing I need to do is book a hotel room. I have accumulated quite a bit of points at the Radisson, if there is one…
Mary Tannenbaum: You could stay at my place! Sorry, didn’t mean to just blurt that out!
Ned: Really? Your place? That’s so nice, Mary! Let me call a sitter for my kids and let her know I’ll be back tomorrow.
Mary Tannenbaum: Oh…you have children?
Ned: Yes, with my first wife who passed away a few years back.
Mary Tannenbaum: Oh, Ned, that’s so awful. I’m so sorry.
Ned: And then I remarried, and she also tragically passed away.
Mary Tannenbaum: Oh…gosh. Um, sensing a theme here…
Ned: Well, I’ll be back in a sec. Just going to call the sitter and let her know I’m staying with Mary T.
Mary Tannenbaum: Um…do you know what? I totally, totally forgot that my apartment is uh, on fire! And no one can, uh, stay there!
Mary Tannenbaum: I’m also super busy and have to go right this second! So…thanks for returning my laptop, being a great Uber driver. See you in Springfield if I ever go back. *runs away*
Ned: Ok, um, bye Mary.
Mary Tannenbaum: Bye forever! I mean, bye now!
Ned: Well, I guess I’m stuck in the big city on my own. Oh my gosh, everything is so expensive, $8 for water…scaffolding everywhere, so many workers on strike…must find safe place to hide. Ooh, an M&M store filled with M&Ms!
Jingle Bell Knock Pt. 1
Santa Suit: Hello there! You must be my relief. I really have to use the restroom. Something about this red kettle and ringing this bell is like standing next to a waterfall.
Santa Snake: Um, yeah, that’s what I’m here for. Take all the time you need.
Santa Suit: Why thank you, fine sir.
Santa Snake: Whatever man, just go. I’ll take the donations.
Santa Suit: You mean you’ll collect the donations. For the poor. Right?
Santa Snake: Sure. For the poor.
Santa Suit: You said that in a weird way, but I’m just going to ignore it.
Santa Snake: Whatever.
Make Santa Snake Try to Steal Donations- 4hrs
Make Santa Flanders Go Tinkle- 4hrs
Santa Suit: Hey, I just saw you stealing all the donations!
Santa Snake: What donations? The only thing in the kettle was a bunch of garbage.
Santa Suit: Well, that’s garbage for the homeless!
Santa Snake: Does anybody ever put any actual money in?
Santa Suit: If you ring the bell with all your heart. Speaking of, I have to insist you give me the bell back.
Santa Snake:I have to insist on keeping it. *points gun*
Jingle Bell Knock Pt. 2
Santa Snake: *rings bell* Come on. Help the homeless.
Chester Lampwick: Hello there.
Santa Snake: Just drop your donation and move on. Not here to make friends.
Chester Lampwick: Oh, I’m not donating. I’m one of the lucky guys who benefits from your good work, sir.
Santa Snake: *points gun* You’ll be receiving a belly full of lead if you don’t get lost.
Chester Lampwick: Yeah, yeah. I just wanted to come by and thank you for standing out here in the cold so I would have someplace warm to sleep tonight. That’s all.
Santa Snake: You know what else is warm? *points gun*
Chester Lampwick: Is it a bullet?
Santa Snake: Oh, yeah that too. But I was gonna say blood. Your blood. All over you after I shoot you. *points gun*
Chester Lampwick: What I wouldn’t give for that sort of warmth. One time I froze solid I was so cold out here.
Santa Snake: Gimme a break. You can always go sleep at the shelter.
Chester Lampwick: Pfft. Where do you think that shelter money comes from? When there’s not enough donations, there’s not enough beds.
Santa Snake: These donations go directly to funding beds at the shelter? *points gun*
Chester Lampwick: Yes. And stop pointing your gun at me.
Make Chester Describe Freezing Solid – 4hrs
Make Santa Snake Listen in Horror- 4hrs
Santa Snake:You thawed out in a bear’s den?
Chester Lampwick: Yup. Bear tried to munch on me, but I was too frozen to eat. We’re still friends.
Santa Snake: You should be dead a dozen times by now. I’ve gotta do something about this.
Chester Lampwick: You already are. By ringing that bell and taking donations.
Santa Snake: Well, uh, I wasn’t before. I was technically robbing people who didn’t realize it. But NOW I am totally gonna help. Like, actually.
Jingle Bell Knock Pt. 3
Santa Snake: Help the homeless. Donate money. Help the homeless. This isn’t funny.
Burns: They wouldn’t be homeless if they pulled themselves up by their bootstraps.
Santa Snake: I’ll pull YOU up by your bootstraps unless you empty your wallet, old man.
Burns: Smithers, I’m being threatened. Engage bodyguard mode.
Smithers: Yes, sir. *steps forward* If you want him, you’ll have to go through me.
Santa Snake: Sounds difficult. *clobbers Smithers with bell*
Burns: Smithers, pay the man and engage flee mode!
Smithers: *runs away*
Burns: Wait, you forgot to run me away! Here’s an extra hundred, for your troubles. And my watch.
Make Smithers Make a Donation – 4hrs
Make Burns Flee – 4hrs
Make Santa Snake Take Donations- 4hrs
Santa Snake: Whoa, it’s kind of fun to help others. I should do this again next year.
Burns: And here’s the keys to all my classic cars, villas in Spain… Fine, my spaceship to Mars too.
And that’s it my friends, Mary Tannenbaum and Santa Snake’s premium dialogue.
Thoughts on the event? Did you buy Mary? Did you buy Snake? Thoughts on the dialogue? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!