Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
In trying to keep up with everything in the easiest way possible for me…I present to you the full premium dialogue for Acts 1 & 2….Emily Winthrop (Act 1) and Elaine Wolff (Act 2).
First up, Emily Winthrop…
Training Wreck Pt. 1
Apu: Mrs. Winthrop. Your training has been so good for our new dog — harsh, but very wise.
Emily Winthrop: The next step is to take the dog for a walk.
Apu: Ah, of course. To see and smell all the things in the world around her.
Emily Winthrop: All the things in the world she CANNOT have. It’s good for “crushing the spirit”.
Make Emily Winthrop Walk the Dog- 4hrs
Training Wreck Pt. 2
Bart: Hey, Mrs. Winthrop. How goes the dog biz?
Emily Winthrop: The dog biz is a bust. Things at the canine college have been on a bit of a decline since you and Satan’s Little Helper were there.
Bart: It’s Santa’s Little Helper. And that’s too bad.
Emily Winthrop: So I’ve decided to branch out and take on some non-canine clients. Speaking of, here’s my next appointment now.
Crazy Cat Lady: Aaaaaiirirhrhrhrhaaarr! *throws cat*
Emily Winthrop: *catches cat* I’ll work with the cat but I get the feeling it’s the cat’s owner who needs some help.
Crazy Cat Lady: *hisses*
Make Emily Winthrop Attempt to Train a Cat– 4hrs
Emily Winthrop: I can see that I’ll need to think differently with this cat. Perhaps a Pavlovian approach would be best. *rings bell*
Homer: Chow time?!
Training Wreck Pt. 3
Emily Winthrop: I don’t have much experience training opossums. He’s quite cute. What’s his name?
Homer: It’s Bitey. But you know how people name things the opposite of what they are?
Emily Winthrop: Yes.
Emily Winthrop: Aah!
Homer: We didn’t do that with this one.
Make Emily Winthrop Try Not to Get Bit– 4hrs
Emily Winthrop: Mr. Simpson, your possum is now perfectly trained. That’ll be two hundred dollars.
Homer: Two hundred dollars?! But he’s not moving.
Bitey: *bites Homer*
Emily Winthrop: Perfectly trained to play dead. Cash or credit?
Training Wreck Pt. 4
Frink: I’ve done my best with the training, but nothing has worked. Perhaps your expertise might do the trick.
Emily Winthrop: Help me understand…is it an octopus, or a parrot?
Frink: It’s both.
Emily Winthrop: I’ll need to know which end is up.
Octoparrot: *pooping noise*
Emily Winthrop: Never mind. I just figured it out.
Make Emily Winthrop Train Octoparrot– 4hrs
Training Wreck Pt. 5
Burns: I must warn you, Mrs. Winthrop. My new pet is not like anything you’ve worked with before.
Emily Winthrop: I just crate-trained an octoparrot, so I think I’ve seen it all.
Burns: Very well. Cthuey! Come on out here.
Emily Winthrop: Alright, I may need my stool and a pistol for this one.
Make Emily Winthrop Test Out New Training Tools– 4hrs
Emily Winthrop: SIT DOWN! ROLL OVER! Ugh. I wish you could understand simple commands.
Cthulhu: Maybe if you tried asking nicely.
Emily Winthrop: You can talk?
Cthulhu: Of course I can talk.
Emily Winthrop: Why didn’t you say anything before?
Cthulhu: Because you’re only giving commands. A conversation is a ballet of give and take.
Emily Winthrop: The student has become the master.
And now onto Elaine Wolff…
Doppeldreamer Pt. 1
Elaine Wolff starts
Elaine Wolff: Welcome everyone. My name is Elaine Wolff and this class is “Why Your Dog is Better Than You, and You Should Feel Bad About That”.
Lenny: How soon are we getting to dog discipline? ‘Cause my dog is peeing on the carpet.
Elaine Wolff: And did you tell your dog that peeing on the carpet was wrong?
Lenny: Many times.
Elaine Wolff: In a language that your dog understands?
Lenny: Well, English.
Elaine Wolff: So you spoke a foreign language to your dog and then punished it for not understanding what you said.
Lenny: I feel horrible! Somebody put a choke collar on ME!
Make Elaine Wolff Shake Her Head in Disgust- 4hrs
Make Lenny Feel Bad- 4hrs
Make Skinner Decide Not to Speak Up- 4hrs
Doppeldreamer Pt. 2
Elaine Wolff starts
Elaine Wolff: Alright, let’s meet your dogs to see what we’re working with here.
Lenny: This is Mr. Barksworth.*bark* *bark*
Skinner: And this is Principal Bow Wow. *bow* *wow*
Elaine Wolff: They say people look like their pets, but it’s really striking with both of you and your pets.
Homer: Eh, I don’t see it. Anyways, this is Sir Licks-a-lot Von Chewington III.
Homer Dog: *licks*
Elaine Wolff: Ugh, I detest lickers.
Make Elaine Wolff Examine the Dog Doppelgangers– 4hrs
Make Homer Not See the Resemblance– 4hrs
Make Lenny Not See the Resemblance– 4hrs
Make Skinner Not See the Resemblance- 4hrs
Doppeldreamer Pt. 3
Elaine Wolff starts
Elaine Wolff: Have you all been slowly changing to look like your dogs?
Barney: Not me. I don’t look anything like my dog! *belches* *belches* I call him Hooch.
Elaine Wolff: That’s enough! Class dismissed.
Make Elaine Wolff Run From This Dog Nightmare- 4hrs
Make Barney Play With Hooch- 4hrs
Make Homer Play With Sir Licks-a-lot Von Chewington III- 4hrs
Make Lenny Play With Mr. Barksworth- 4hrs
Make Skinner Play With Principal Bow Wow- 4hrs
Elaine Wolff: *waking up in a cold sweat* Ahh! It was just a dream… just a dream.Everything is fine now.
Elaine Wolff: Bad dream, eh Elaine?
Elaine Wolff: Ahh! A ME dog!
And that’s it my friends…the premium dialogue for two lovely new premium ladies to enter out pocket-sized towns!
Thoughts? Did you buy either lady? Thoughts on questlines? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!