Dog Days Premium Dialogue: Lionel Budgie

Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!

Time to take a look at the full premium dialogue for Act 4’s premium arrival…Lionel Budgie.

Here’s the full dialogue version of Diddly Squatter, just in case you missed it by tapping too fast.

As a reminder, more details about Lionel can be found here.

Diddly Squatter Pt. 1
Lionel Budgie starts

Wiggum: So, uh, we’re sorry for putting you in jail. Chalk it up to the police overreacting to dogs becoming our overlords.
Lionel Budgie: You mean the first time the dogs became your overlords.
Wiggum: It was actually the third time but who’s counting, right?
Lionel Budgie: I’m counting and you’re on the fourth time now.
Wiggum: Right. The fourth time is where cops learn the lesson.
Lionel Budgie: But you didn’t learn the lesson. The dogs are your overlords again.
Wiggum: Let me spell it out: we learn the lesson on the fourth time, and implement the lesson on the fifth time. There is no WAY the dogs are becoming our overlords again.
Make Lionel Budgie Return to the Office- 4hrs
Make Wiggum Count the Dogpocalypses- 4hrs
Lionel Budgie: Excuse me. This is my veterinary practice. What are you doing here?
Kirk: It was empty, so I moved in.
Lionel Budgie: That’s called squatting.
Kirk: Squatting…such an ugly word. I prefer leeching. Don’t worry. I knew you’d be back, so I’ve continued seeing your patients in your absence.
Lionel Budgie: You what?!
Kirk: I know I don’t have any training but your patients don’t know that.

Diddly Squatter Pt. 2
Lionel Budgie starts

Lionel Budgie: Out! Now!
Kirk: You can’t just kick me to the curb. I have rights. There are leech laws in this town!
Lionel Budgie: You’re squatting on private property and you’re impersonating a medical professional.
Hans Moleman: Excuse me. I’m here for Mr. Squiggles’ appointment.
Kirk: Ah, let me have a look at Mr. Squiggles.
Lionel Budgie: Get out!
Hans Moleman: You’ve scared Mr. Squiggles and now he’s gone back inside his shell.
Lionel Budgie: I thought he was a dog?
Hans Moleman: He’s a dog who thinks he’s a turtle.
Make Lionel Budgie See a Patient- 4hrs
Make Kirk Assist With the Patient- 4hrs
Kirk: Lionel, you’re out of sugar. Can’t have coffee without sugar!
Lionel Budgie: Why are you still here?
Kirk: Because you’ve got back-to-back appointments all afternoon. And I’m gonna need coffee to get through my half of those.

Diddly Squatter Pt. 3
Lionel Budgie starts

Lionel Budgie: I’m told you’re the man to see in town for muscle.
Fat Tony: Who wants to know?
Lionel Budgie: Duh. Me. The one standing in front of you. Hello.
Fat Tony: What is it you need, my smart-mouthed friend? Rival family encroaching on your turf? Nosey cops need disappearing?
Lionel Budgie: Loser father squatting in veterinary office and hiding behind legal loopholes.
Fat Tony: Ah, me and my boys specialize in that.
Make Lionel Budgie Show Fat Tony to His Office- 4hrs
Make Fat Tony Go Deal With the Squatter- 4hrs

Diddly Squatter Pt. 4
Lionel Budgie starts

Lionel Budgie: Here we are. The squatter is inside.
Fat Tony: Alright, boys. You know what to do. Even if you don’t know what to do, do something.
Louie: You got it, Boss. We’ll just wait for all these pets to finish escaping first.
Lionel Budgie: Huh-whaa?
Make Lionel Budgie Wrangle Escaping Pets- 4hrs
Fat Tony: Wait, there’s birds in there! You didn’t mention birds. I do NOT like birds.
Lionel Budgie: Why birds?
Fat Tony: It all started with that movie.
Lionel Budgie: Hitchcock’s “The Birds”?
Fat Tony: No. “The Angry Birds Movie”. That red one was so angry.
Lionel Budgie: Okay, well — your BOYS can go in and deal with the squatter.
Legs: Leaving the boss behind would be a tacit admission that he is scared of birds, and we don’t want to end up in the river.
Fat Tony: They know me so well.

Diddly Squatter Pt. 5
Lionel Budgie starts

Nelson: So you want US to go in and beat up Milhouse’s dad.
Lionel Budgie: You don’t have to beat him up. Just…remove him.
Nelson: It’s all part of the package we offer. No a la carte pricing.
Willie: In or out… I’m not heatin’ the outdoors!
Lionel Budgie: Who the heck are you?
Kirk: I’m renting out the other seven exam rooms.
Jimbo: Whoa! Not Groundskeeper Willie! He’s like the one guy that scares us! We are outta here!
Lionel Budgie: Isn’t anybody in this town man enough to remove squatters?!
Homer: Did somebody order a hero?!
Lionel Budgie: I Grubhub’d an enchilada plate.
Homer: Wait is that a weasel?!
Lionel Budgie: It’s a ferret.
Homer: Even worse! Everybody, run for your lives!
Make Lionel Budgie Just Accept Having Roommates- 4hrs
 Make Homer Run From Killer Ferrets- 4hrs
Make Bullies Run From Killer Groundskeepers- 4hrs
Make Kirk Make Coffee for the Office- 4hrs
Make Groundskeeper Willie Tend the Gardens Out Front- 4hrs
Homer: Who the heck would want a ferret? They’re killers!
Lisa: I think they’re cute.
Homer: I don’t think I know you anymore.
Lisa: Dad, where did you get that ferrets are scary?
Homer: It’s one of your major fears – snakes, spiders, heights, tight spaces and ferrets!

Thoughts on Lionel’s questline? Sound off below!

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