Showbiz Showdown Act 4 Full Dialogue: A Recipe for Distress

Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!

As we prepare for Showbiz Showdown to end tomorrow, it’s time to wrap up it all up with a pretty little bow!

So here’s the full dialogue for A Recipe for Distress…just in case you missed it by tappin’ too fast!

A Recipe for Distress Pt. 1

Sideshow Bob:  My name is Robert Terwilliger, your new director. Complete transparency…I’m a convicted felon.
Airshot: Convicted of what?
Sideshow Bob:  Faking my own death, rigging an election, a bunch of attempted murders…
Krusty: Don’t forget the time you tried to frame me for robbery.
Airshot: And you want this guy to direct your movie?
Sideshow Bob:  Would you rather star in a flop directed by Krusty, or in a blockbuster hit directed by a hardened criminal?
Moby Man: My agent said I’m one flop away from hosting game shows, so I choose the criminal!
Sideshow Bob:  Alas, I can not change my past, but I can forge a new future. Your futures. For the better. Now, are there any objections before we begin?
Homer: Just one… Are you going to try and kill Bart again?
Sideshow Bob:  If there’s time. Now, let’s take this scene from the top.
Make Sideshow Bob Start Directing- 4hrs
Make Krusty Let Sideshow Bob Take Over- 4hrs
Collect  Space Crystals- x145. 4hrs.
Sideshow Bob:  Hydrangea, in this scene I want to feel your anger as if your very life was at stake.  What makes you angry in real life? We’ll use that as inspiration.
Hydrangea: Well, sometimes Magnesium Man takes my lunch, even though my name is clearly written on it.
Sideshow Bob:  Good! Imagine that the Pain Lords are actually Magnesium Man coming for your lunch. It’s up to you to stop him. And…action!
Hydrangea: If you want this Love Gem, you’ll have to pry it from my cold, dead fingers you human filth!
Sideshow Bob:  Cut! That was terrific.
Magnesium Man: *eating Hydrangea’s lunch* Yeah, great job, Hydrangea.
Hydrangea: Leave. My. Lunch. Alone! *tackles Magnesium Man*
Krusty: Magnesium Man and Hydrangea are fighting on set? We need to stop them!
Sideshow Bob:  Don’t be a fool! I’ve just given birth to brilliant performances! Keep rolling cameras!

A Recipe for Distress Pt. 2

Quetzelica: I guess deep down I’m still that scared little girl who couldn’t help her sister when she needed it most.
Black Voodoo: You’re a stronger person now, and I know you won’t let us down.
Sideshow Bob:  Cut! Quetzelica, I need to see tears in this scene. The audience should be mourning your self-doubt.  And Black Voodoo, don’t rush it. We want to feel the tension before we know your true feelings. Now, take it from the top.
Krusty: Wow, Bob, how did you become such a good director?
Sideshow Bob:  Working the Krusty Show helped, but it wasn’t until prison that I learned how to remove hesitancy. Now I see a vision and just go for it.
Krusty: Is that why all the best actors are reformed inmates?
Sideshow Bob:  If they were in my cell block, then yes.
Make Sideshow Bob Turn the Movie Around- 4hrs
Make Krusty Take Notes From Sideshow Bob- 4hrs
Collect Space Crystals- x115. 4hrs. 

A Recipe for Distress Pt. 3

Sideshow Bob:  Attention all! It’s time for our big helicopter scene. We only get one shot at this, so let’s give it our best.
Bart: Whoa, mama! That thing is awesome!
Sideshow Bob:  Hands off. The military is lending us their prototype for promotional purposes only.
The General: This is the Ultra RX Kill-O-Bird 5000. It costs two hundred million taxpayer dollars.
Bart: Why risk it in a movie?
The General: Son, putting high-tech military machinery on the big screen is the greatest recruitment tool we have. Why, if I let you fly this puppy, I’ll bet you’d want to join the Air Force!
Bart: Damn straight, I would!
Marge: Excuse me, that’s my son, and he’s a minor.
The General: Of course, we wouldn’t dream of recruiting minors. *hands Bart a pamphlet* *whispers* Psst, come see me when Sergeant Wet Blanket isn’t on duty.
Make Sideshow Bob Prepare the Helicopter- 4hrs
Make Bart Ask About the Air Force- 4hrs
Make The General Hand Bart a Pamphlet- 4hrs
Make Marge Take the Pamphlet- 4hrs
Collect Space Crystals- x145. 4hrs.
Sideshow Bob:  Before we start filming, safety regulations require me to inspect the helicopter.
Krusty: Knock yourself out.
Bart: You idiots! You’ve just given Sideshow Bob access to a helicopter he can use to escape.
Krusty: That’s ridiculous.
Sideshow Bob:  And here’s an ending for your movie: the convicted felon flies off into the sunset.
Bart: Wait, you’re leaving without even trying to kill me?
Sideshow Bob:  *sigh* I’d love to, Bart. But this movie has me a little burnt out. If you want, I could try and cut your head off with the helicopter blades as I take off.
Bart: Nah, no need to force it.

A Recipe for Distress Pt. 4

Chinnos: We just lost our director! How will I know what motivations to use?
Airshot: Who’s going to tell me I did a great job after each scene even when I didn’t?
Moby Man: And how will I know whether the camera is picking up my muscle definition?
Black Voodoo: Pfft, we all know those muscles are implants.
Moby Man: You take that back!
Black Voodoo: Only when you take that six pack back to the plastic surgeon!
Bart: The crew is tearing itself apart. It looks like your movie is once again a mess, Krusty.
Krusty: *sigh* I never thought it’d come to this, but it’s time to do the one thing I was avoiding.
Bart: Run that clown nose of yours through the dishwasher?
Krusty: Okay, two things. That and it’s time I actually tried to direct this movie.
Make Chinnos Ask About Motivation- 4hrs
Make Airshot Ask for a Compliment- 4hrs
Make Moby Man Flex Harder- 4hrs
Make Krusty Take Charge- 4hrs
Collect Space Crystals- x115. 4hrs.
Krusty: Listen up, everyone. I don’t like you, and you don’t like me.
Airshot: I like you.
Moby Man: We all like you.
Krusty: Really? I guess that blows that theory. Anyway, we’ve got an ending to shoot and that’s exactly what we’re gonna do!
Magnesium Man: I can’t believe you don’t like us.
Krusty: Forget I said that.
Hydrangea: I don’t see how we can.
Krusty: Oy vey. This is gonna be worse than I thought.

A Recipe for Distress Pt. 5

Kent Brockman: Kent Brockman, coming to you live from the red carpet of Polystar Pictures’ “The Sands of Space” premiere…
Polystar Executive: This is the big night, Krusty. How are you feeling?
Krusty: I’m feeling really confident about the picture.
Polystar Executive: Most directors would be a nervous wreck. What’s your secret?
Krusty: Someone once inspired me to remove all hesitancy and just go for my vision. That’s what I did.
Polystar Executive: Was this inspiration your interim director who stole a multi-million-dollar helicopter in an elaborate prison escape?
Krusty: Inspiration comes in many forms. No more questions.
Make Krusty Await the Results- 4hrs
Make Polystar Executive Await the Results- 4hrs
Make Kent Brockman Watch the Premiere- 4hrs
Collect Space Crystals- x185. 4hrs.
Kent Brockman: Ladies and gentlemen, the reviews are in, and it’s a hit! A “hit” to the head, because that’s what you’d have to have suffered to ever consider seeing this flop. Where’s it fall flat? The writing, the acting, the directing…?Why don’t we let this local comic book salesman sum it up for us.
CBG: Worst. Movie. Ever.
Kent Brockman: And there you have it.

Win-win

Polystar Executive: Krusty, we’d like to discuss the reviews for your film.
Krusty: Sorry I let you down.
Polystar Executive: You didn’t let us down.
Krusty: I didn’t? But the movie flopped.
Polystar Executive: Yes, but you went over budget. Now we can place the blame squarely on you and Polystar Pictures gets to save face.
Krusty: So that’s why you added all those expensive superheroes to the movie?
Polystar Executive: Yep. So congratulations on making a real stinker.
Krusty: Congratulations?! My reputation is ruined!
Polystar Executive: I guess you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few condor eggs. Spoiler alert: you’re the condor egg. *chuckles* Hey, that’s not bad… Maybe I should write our next movie…
Make Krusty Ruin His Directing Reputation- 4hrs
Make Polystar Executive Think About Writing- 4hrs
Bart: Cheer up, Krusty. You don’t need the movie biz. You’ve still got your kids’ show!
Krusty: Yeah, but Polystar Pictures took away all my swag: my mansion, my sports cars, my bottomless bagel and babka bar…
Bart: At least you can go back to bossing Sideshow Mel around.
Sideshow Mel: Krusty, we’re on in five.
Krusty: Cram it, Mel.
Bart: See, didn’t that feel good?
Krusty: I guess it did.
Bart: The simple pleasures make life worth living.

And that’s it my friends, the exciting conclusion of Showbiz Showdown!

Thoughts on the questline? Event? Storyline?   Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!