THOH XXXIV: Act 4 Dialog Recap

THOH 2023 splash
If you’ve been zapping through your tapping and it’s all been a bit of a blur or if you just fancied a reminder of what the writers got up to this time you’re in luck.
Here’s all the dialog and tasks for this act …

What’s in this post:
• Prize Track: The Human League of Humans parts 1 to 5
• Outro: Just Wait Till Next Year

Prize Track: The Human League of Humans parts 1 to 5

The Human League of Humans, part 1:
● Springfield STEM Academy (Building)
Springfield STEM Academy
Lisa: The Ki-Ya Karate Monsters have to be stopped. They’re karate-chopping things that shouldn’t be chopped!
Marge: They chopped parmesan cheese that should have been grated!
Wiggum: Why won’t the police do something?!
Lou: You ARE the police, Chief.
Wiggum: I’m the what now?
Homer: I say we turn to that school with the smart kids! They can figure out a way to whoop those Karate Monsters!
Martin: Mr. Simpson, STEM kids don’t know how to fight.
Database: We enrolled at the STEM Academy to get away from regular schools where we constantly get beat up.
Nelson: That is smart thinking. I need to punch that! *punches fist*

• Collect Dark Glasses – x 155 THOH 23 act 4 currency, Dark Glasses
• Make Homer Try to Shift Responsibility to Smart Kids – 4 hours
• Make Martin Insist Smart Kids Don’t Know How to Fight – 4 hours
• Make Lisa Agree Smart Kids Can’t Fight – 4 hours
• Make Nelson Confirm Smart Kids Can’t Fight – 4 hours

Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP

The Human League of Humans, part 2:
● US Army Alien Hunting Helicopter (Decoration)
US Army Alien Hunting Helicopter

Homer: Hey, what about using the army to protect us?
Lisa: Dad, we can’t keep using the army every time something goes wrong in Springfield.
Homer: Don’t we pay those guys a lot?
The General: I do very well. The rest of the enlisted…um…never mind.
Lisa: Your deceptive nature makes me think you’ve got a future in politics, General.
The General: Really? There are liars and cheats in politics too?

• Collect Dark Glasses – x 155 THOH 23 act 4 currency, Dark Glasses
• Make Lisa Demand the Army Act – 4 hours
• Make Homer Demand to Know What’s On the Laptop – 4 hours
• Make The General Make Excuses for the Army – 4 hours

Homer: General, I would think your army would be champing at the bit for some shoot-em-up military action.
The General: Normally, yes. But we realize it’s a lot harder fighting space aliens than illegal aliens.
The General: That said… there’s an immigrant caravan heading for the border now! Army move out!
Lisa: Good grief.

Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP

The Human League of Humans, part 3:
● US Military Holding Facility (Building)
US Military Holding Facility
Lovejoy: I expected more people to show up in church for the end times, not fewer.
Ned: The important ones are here — namely me!
Homer: I don’t see why we’re barking up Jesus’ tree to save us. Has he really ever saved us from anything?
Jesus Christ: Hey, relax, ye of little faith! I plan to fight fire with fire!
Ned: That seems out of line with your biblical doctrine…
Jesus Christ: Bible? Are people still reading that?
Homer: Only Ned.
Jesus Christ: I’ll tell ya how I’m going to save the day. Introducing…MMA Jesus!
MM a Jesus: Sup?
Lovejoy: Wait, there are two Jesuses now?
Jesus Christ: The Holy Ghost wasn’t doing anything, so BOOM!
MM a Jesus: MMA Jesus is here to save the day!
Jesus Christ: This is gonna be awesome.
Ned: Maybe we should’ve started by praying to God?
Lovejoy: Religion is really confusing.

• Collect Dark Glasses – x 155 THOH 23 act 4 currency, Dark Glasses
• Make Springfielders Despair – x 5, 4 hours
• Make Ned Ask “What Would Jesus Do?” – 4 hours
• Make MMA Jesus Answer – 4 hours
• Make Jesus Gloat – 4 hours

Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP

The Human League of Humans, part 4:
● Springfield Tire Yard Secret Lair (Skin)
Springfield Tire Yard Secret Lair
Bart: C’mon, Jesus! Get in there! Punch and kick and gouge!
Taekwon Dracula: Wait, THIS is your best fighter?
Jesus Christ: Whoa. Slow down. I’m just here to get a good seat.
Jesus Christ: Here’s our fighter. Let me introduce MMA Me!
MM a Jesus: Sup?
Mixed Martial Medusa: MMA Jesus? I’d take ten commandments from him any day!
Kung Fu Werewolf: This MMA Jesus guy looks tough. Taekwon Dracula, you fight him first.
Taekwon Dracula: Me?! Why me?
Mixed Martial Medusa: You’re our leader. Go lead!
Taekwon Dracula: Ugh, fine. But I gotta ask, WWMMAJD (What Would Mixed Martial Arts Jesus Do)?
MM a Jesus: Get ready to be received into the Kingdom of Heaven!

• Collect Dark Glasses – x 155 THOH 23 act 4 currency, Dark Glasses
• Make Bart Root For MMA Jesus – 4 hours
• Make Ned Be Unsure This is What Jesus Would Do – 4 hours
• Make MMA Jesus Challenge Taekwon Dracula – 4 hours
• Make Taekwon Dracula Smack Talk Jesus – 4 hours
• Make Jesus Make Sure He Has Good Seats for the Fight – 4 hours

Rumble Announcers: It’s Taekwon Dracula vs. MMA Jesus fighting for the fate of Springfield!
Rumble Announcers: Let’s get ready to be HUMMMMMBLE!
Rumble Announcers: Taekwon Dracula and MMA Jesus are already trading blows!
Rumble Announcers: Taekwon Dracula negates MMA Jesus’ ground game by turning into a bat every time Jesus tries to choke him out.
MM a Jesus: You’re pretty good, Drac, but it’s time to end this with my Blood Into Wine move!
Taekwon Dracula: Why isn’t anything happening?!
Rumble Announcers: Looks like MMA Jesus forgot that Taekwon Dracula doesn’t have any blood.
Taekwon Dracula: That’s right! Now it’s time for MY special move!
MM a Jesus: Before you do that…have you heard my sermon regarding turning the other cheek?

Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP

The Human League of Humans, part 5:
● Monster Hunter Homer (Skin)
Monster Hunter Homer
Rumble Announcers: It turns out that Taekwon Dracula’s special move is just kicking MMA Jesus in the face.
Rumble Announcers: How much more of this can Jesus take?!
MM a Jesus: Not much. Grr-uggghh. *passes out*
Jesus Christ: MMA Me, get up!
Taekwon Dracula: MWAHAHA! Where’s your Messiah now?! There’s no one left to stop us! Springfield is ours!
MM a Jesus: Tell…my Dad…I’m sorry…and…to quit being so hard on his kid.

• Collect Dark Glasses – x 195 THOH 23 act 4 currency, Dark Glasses
• Make Taekwon Dracula Kill MMA Jesus – 4 hours
• Make Ned Be Shocked Dracula Killed Jesus – 4 hours
• Make Kung Fu Werewolf Celebrate Monster Victory – 4 hours
• Make MMA Jesus Rise From the Dead – 4 hours
• Make Bart Be Amazed by MMA Jesus’ Resurrection – 4 hours

Rumble Announcers: What’s this? MMA Jesus has risen from the dead?!
MM a Jesus: AW, YEAH! Fear no evil…my rod and my staff will concuss you!
Bart: That’s amazing! Who coulda believed that “Jesus saves” stuff before now?
Jesus Christ: Not me!
Kung Fu Werewolf: How can we fight an opponent with that kind of magic?
Ned: Um, not to be a nitpickereeno, but it’s not magic, it’s the power of the Lord.
MM a Jesus: That’s right! I cannot be beaten, so give up now, monsters!
Taekwon Dracula: Ugh! Let’s get out of here and go back to Planet Ki-Ya.
Xylem: That’s not happening. You idiots broke our teleporter when you stomped my face for the twentieth time.
Taekwon Dracula: We may have gotten a little out of control with that.

Reward: 200 $$s, 20 XP


Outro: Just Wait Till Next Year

The General: Listen up, Springfield! The military is tired of always having to intervene on your behalf!
The General: I hope you realize that the rest of the country can’t stand you people.
Ned: Gosh, this is diddly-de-plorible! Maybe we could fix that if we donated all our Halloween candy to a worthy charity.
Wiggum: I hear that “CRUD — Candy for Ruffians, Underachievers, and Delinquents” is accepting donations.
Lenny: Twist my Twizzler! The candy has been stolen!
Marge: HOMER!
Homer: Why is everybody looking at me?

• Make The General Scold Springfield – 4 hours
• Make Springfielders Blame Homer – x 5, 4 hours
• Make Homer Deny He Ate All the Candy – 4 hours

Homer: I swear, I was eating Brussels sprouts. Not candy.
Wiggum: Tsk-tsk…thievery AND lies! Cuff him, boys.
Lisa: But this time my dad is telling the truth. Look! Chocolate on Drac’s fangs!
Taekwon Dracula: This stuff is amazing! Human Halloween doesn’t suck. It UN-sucks!
Kung Fu Werewolf: HOOOOOOOW did we make it this far in life without knowing about amazing candy! New idea…let’s go to their mall. I hear they have an indoor trampoline!
Mixed Martial Medusa: The mall sounds rad, let’s gooooooo!
Lou: At least we know how to keep them from taking over the town again.

Reward: 200 $$s, 20 XP


That wraps up the THOH for this year.
I expect I’ll be back later with an Update Alert.
Make sure you read the Ends Soon post if you’re running behind.

2 responses to “THOH XXXIV: Act 4 Dialog Recap

  1. Probably a new update tomorrow…

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