Look in the sky… it’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a…. a… a…. giant freaking restaurant. What the what?
Well, by now all of you dear readers are in the thick of the July 4th event goodness and I’m sure you’ve noticed that EA had added a new aspirational building to the mix. Costing $10,000,000 game cash, it is by far the priciest item EA has brought to us on the freemium level. It requires you be at Level 35 in your game and helps out that Gluttony rating on the conform-o-meter. Did I mention how massive this thing is? It’s 9×9 and really tall with a continuous animation of the top spinning. It is purely aspirational and does not earn anything for your town but those are just game details… you didn’t come by here for that, did ya? Let’s get into just where this monstrosity of a restaurant comes from.
In “Principal Charming” (S2:E14), Homer decides he must go to the All-You-Can-Eat Buffet at Greasy Joe’s Bottomless BBQ Pit and someone has to watch the kiddos. The go-to sitters are of course Patty & Selma but first, the chain smoking twins have to attend a co-worker’s wedding. The love of the couple at the wedding brings down Selma’s spirits when she realizes it possibly could have been her marrying Stanley.
Selma realizes she’s not getting any younger and asks Marge to help her land a man. Because Homer still owes her a favor from the last family vacation to St. Louis, Missouri to see the car shaped like a giant bowling pin, he is enlisted to find Selma a guy. How hard can it be? She likes Police Academy movies, Hummel figurines and walking through the park on clear autumn days. She simply had a life of celibacy thrust upon her.
Homer ends up searching and listing pros and cons of eligible suitors which is quite funny. Courtesy of Bart landing in trouble at school once more, Homer decides Principal Skinner is the appropriate sucker errr I mean beau. Skinner’s pros: Uses big words, dislikes the boy and is well-groomed. Only con is he’s possibly Homer Sexual lol.
In a mix-up when Skinner goes to dinner at The Simpsons house, he falls for Patty instead. I still shudder every time he says “Be still my foolish heart.” Skinner asks Patty out on a date to see the premiere of Space Mutants V. The school board apparently asked him to view it. On the night of the date, he first takes Patty to our new restaurant… the Springfield Revolving Restaurant because food tastes better when you’re revolving. I like this little scene just because of the background animation of the House of Tires billboard, Wiggum trying to talk down a jumper and Springfield Penitentiary inmates being hosed by guards. The name of the TSTO decoration must come from the sign seen inside.
For another view of this building as we see it in game, we fast forward a bit to “Guess Who’s Coming to Criticize Dinner” (S11:E3). This episode revolves around Homer becoming a Food Critic for the Springfield Shopper. No surprise one of the restaurants he reviews is the Sit-N-Rotate. Lisa says the food is exquisite. Homer describes the view as “beautiful, inspirational and nauseating.” In fairness, that nausea was because of a view of Patty & Selma working out.
The restaurant also appears in the very next episode in the “Life’s a Glitch, The You Die” segment of “Treehouse of Horror X”. When all electronics go haywire courtesy of Y2K (remember that?) and Homer not doing his debugging job, the restaurant starts spinning out of control and the top launches off into space like a UFO.
Of course Simpsons gamers will recognize this building from several of the video games also. When you buy this behemoth in your town, it does prompt a little mini-quest for Skinner to date Selma (shudder) which I think of as redemption for her. At least EA seems to know some tappers are sitting on a lot of cash and need something to splurge on.
Well, that really is it. What do you think of this new giganstaurant? I think it’s cool but will need to save for a little before I can splurge on it. Good news is it looks like it’ll be around to taunt our bank accounts for as long as it takes. Y’all stay classy as usual.
TTFN… Wookiee out!