Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
Level 50 hit our Tapping Devices back during the Superhero Event, and with it arrived one of the most requested characters in TSTO history…Helen Lovejoy. (but don’t tell her that, you’ll inflate her already huge ego)
While we’ve had the Turbo Tappin’ walkthrough up since the update first hit (you can view it here) I know many of you still love going back and reading old walkthroughs. They’re great if you missed any of the dialogue while playing the level, or if you just want to know what to expect when you reach Level 50. So for those that may have missed it (or for those of you that want to live it again)…I bring you all the wonderful gossip of Level 50….
The Joy of Gossip Pt. 1
Milhouse: Bart! The new issue of Radioactive Woman is out!
Bart: Women can’t be superheroes! Whoever heard of women in tights?
Milhouse: Supposedly on the cover you can see upper thigh and even, dare I say, lower butt.
Bart: I think I’m coming around to the idea of female superheroes. It’s largely butt related.
Comic Book Guy: This is my last copy, and I simply cannot let it go for less than TWENTY DOLLARS! I also accept Galactic credits, dwarven runes, and microwave burritos.
Milhouse: Aw! I had $20, but I spent it on a collection of commemorative state quarters.
Lisa: You spent $20 on $12.50 in quarters?
Milhouse: Markets fluctuate, Lisa. Who knows how much a quarter will be worth next week?
Lisa: 25 cents.
Milhouse: Nuts, I don’t know anything about finances! I mean, I talk the talk, but I can’t walk the walk. Probably because of all the quarters in my pockets.
Bart: Well, we’re in luck! Helen Lovejoy is up next and she knows more about investments than I know about analogies.
Build Municipal House of Pancakes- $1,000,000 (when Level 50 was first released), 24hr Build.
The Real Investorettes will start up at this point…IF you have Luann, we’ll cover the details of this questline below…it will run along with The Joy of Gossip. If you don’t have Luann this is what you’ll see prompting you to purchase Luann…
Helen: I’ve searched everywhere! The Jacuzzi suit store, the American Gladiator’s green room, the Shelbyville eyebrow outlet, and I can’t find Luann! We cannot hold an Investorettes meeting without the full membership present.
Bart: Take it up with the Great Man in the Sky who hasn’t forked over the donuts to bring her back to life.
Helen: Was that Ezekiel 3:17? Bart, I didn’t know you were so well versed in Bible quotes.
The Joy of Gossip Pt. 2
Rev. Lovejoy: Helen, my prayers have been answered! You’re finally here…and holding a perfectly seasoned roast beef sandwich?
Helen: No, just me.
Rev. Lovejoy: Well, one of my prayers was answered. Although, you seem troubled by something.
Helen: It’s just, well, I’ve been in limbo for so long that I feel like I don’t even know this town anymore. How has everyone gone about with their business without my nose in it? I need a glass of fresh squeezed juicy gossip!
Rev. Lovejoy: Perhaps Marge Simpson could be of service. She’s both up to speed on the town’s affairs, and not up to speed on mine.
Make Helen Make Marge Spill the Beans- 1hr, Earns $140, 24xp. Requires Marge
Helen: Oh, Marge Simpson! How lovely to see you!
Marge: I wish I could say the same thing to you, but I promised myself that I wouldn’t lie.
Helen: Oh Marge, you big jokester. So you’ll only be lying to yourself from now on then? But enough about us — let’s talk about other people! Give me the gossip!
Marge: Hmmm…Well, the big news in Springfield is that people seem to be turning up in order of importance.
Helen: Nonsense. If that’s the case I would have been home AGES ago.
Marge: Would you?
The Joy of Gossip Pt. 3
Helen: Order of importance?! How could I be LESS important than a politician’s spoiled nephew or some juvenile delinquents?!? I have a first AND last name for goodness sake. That a perfect lady such as myself, who only thinks of others, could be seen as LESS important than an old, uneducated stripper?
Mrs. Muntz: Who are you callin’ educated?
Helen: I said UN-educated.
Mrs. Muntz: Oh. Carry on then.
Helen: What are we teaching our children?! Oh won’t somebody PLEASE think of the children!
Make Helen Think of the Children- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp
The Joy of Gossip Pt. 4
Rev Lovejoy: Helen, you are the most important person to me. Isn’t that enough?
Helen: There’s a fire. You can either save me or your Christmas coal train car. Which do you save?
Rev. Lovejoy: Let’s not go down this road again, Helen.
Helen: I can’t believe that fat slob Homer Simpson is the most important person in Springfield.
Rev. Lovejoy: Calm yourself, Helen. He isn’t even a premium character.
Helen: Premium? Oh I like the sound of that! Clearly, there was a mistake. I should be a premium character!
Make Helen Apply for Premium Status- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Patty: Premium status? Lady, this is the DMV. Does anyone here look premium to you?
Selma: Now if you’re looking for an eye test or novelty license plate, then maybe we can help.
Helen: Hmm, perhaps I could use a new license plate.
Selma: Great! In that case…you’re in the wrong line.
Helen: Ugh. Just tell me where to go to get premium status.
Selma: Only a being of supreme power could grant you premium status. Maybe a postmaster general, but definitely not the DMV.
The Joy of Gossip Pt. 5
Helen: I don’t know why I thought the government was the answer. I need help from a higher power!
Rev. Lovejoy: God?
Helen: What?! Is He in this game before me too?
Make Helen Plead with a Higher Power- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp
Helen: Oh great one, hear my wishes! I’ve been good, followed all the rules, publically shamed people for the things they do in private, and for this I believe I should be rewarded.
Database: Look, lady. I don’t know who gave you my information, but that’s not how things are done around here. There are strategy meetings, lawyers, names picked out of hats…
Database: Fine! But don’t say a nerd never did anything for you.
The Joy of Gossip Pt. 6
Database: Now we just have to access your character data from the debug menu and set your status to premium. Although you WILL need to be re-acquired through the Premium Stuff Menu.
Helen: Is it going to hurt?
Database: No, but there’s a small chance it would create a paradox, which could destroy the entire universe!
Helen: But, I’d be premium?
Database: If the universe explodes, no one will be premium.
Helen: That’s fine too. Flip the switch!
Database: There is no switch. It’s actually a complicated system of 1s and 0s that diverts the CSS stylesheet…whatever, it’s done.
Get Helen Lovejoy from the Premium Menu- Free
Helen: It worked! I’m a PREMIUM character! I’ve never felt so important in all my life.
Homer: Um, Database, she’s not REALLY a premium character… right? People get mad around here when we change the price of houses. They’d go ballistic over that!
Database: Well, she’s not technically premium but… Hey! Look over there!
Homer: Ooh! That cloud looks like a rabbit!
Database: Whew. Saved once again by my rabbit-shaped cloud emulation software.
The Joy of Gossip Pt. 7
Rev. Lovejoy: You look to be in much better spirits, my dear. Did you discover some photos of a neighbor in a compromising position?
Helen: Oh, much better than that. I just had myself turned premium.
Rev. Lovejoy: Good for you. What do you say I make a reservation at the Gilded Truffle for my gilded lily?
Helen: I have a better idea… do you still have that half mattress we got from the Simpsons?
Rev. Lovejoy: Another reason I’m glad I’m not Catholic!
Make Helen “Worship” Alongside Rev. Lovejoy- 20hrs, Earns $1,100, 270xp. (Requires Rev. Lovejoy
(For this part, you will need to have purchased Luann & the Cracker Factory in order to continue with Investorettes questline)
The Real Investorettes Pt. 1
Helen: Now that we’re all here, I believe we can call to order this meeting of the Investorettes. Agnes, you were next on snack duty.
Agnes: I thought you were coming earlier, so I made Seymour bake a cake months ago. Luckily they haven’t introduced ants in this game so it’s still good.
Helen: We have some young male Investorettes interested in learning the ups and downs of the stock market.
Bart: Can’t you just call us Investors?
Agnes: Lesson Number 1 of Investing — Shut yer traps.
Helen: And as your second lesson of investing, you must accomplish this task.
Milhouse: It just says Hunt a Wild Goose.
Luann: Sweetie, go make mommy proud. Or at least in the ballpark of proud. I’d even take “not ashamed.”
Helen: Now that they’re gone, let’s get down to some real business…Can you believe what Marge Simpson said to me?!
Agnes: SEYMOUR! Where’s the lemonade? What kind of hostess serves month old cake without month old lemonade!
Make Investorettes Seriously Gossip- x4. 12hrs, Earns $420, 100xp Freemium and $600, 150xp Premium.Can send Helen, Mrs. K, Agnes, Luann
Make Skinner Serve Refreshments- 12hrs, Earns $420, 100xp
Make Bart and Milhouse Go on a Wild Goose Chase- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp. (If Bart’s not Free you can send Milhouse twice)
Bart: I had no idea how mean geese are. Mother Goose must have been a real outcast.
Milhouse: What is this teaching us about investing?
Bart: Maybe one of these geese lays golden eggs, and we’re supposed to find out which one!
Milhouse: It’s unfair that, of the two of us, you have the brains, the brawn and the beauty. All I have is the bacne.
The Real Investorettes Pt. 2
Bart: We tracked down every goose but we didn’t find any golden eggs. One of us did contract goose fever though.
Bart: Now teach us something about finance!
Luann: Finance isn’t something you can just learn, like economics or money-management. It requires good ideas.
Bart: What’s that Milhouse? We could sponsor a pro-wrestling show… with El Bombastico as the star?
Helen: Like that idea I just had.
Bart: That wasn’t your idea. It was Milhouse’s. Who probably needs to go to a hospital.
Helen: I’m always thinking of the children, and you are a child, so it sounds like I thought of it for you.
Agnes: Excellent point, Helen. El Bombastico has been our second most profitable investment. First, if you don’t count illegal investments.
Luann: But none of us knows how to speak Spanish! Boys, how about you go find us a translator?
Agnes: Bart, maybe you should take lead on this one.
Make Investorettes Plan a Pro Wrestling Show- x4 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp Freemium and $420, 105xp Premium
Make Investorette Boys Find a Spanish Translator- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp (If Bart’s not Free you can send Milhouse twice)
Bart: I’ve got a surprise for you. Who’s dressed like an insect and only speaks Spanish?
Helen: Stinky Pete?
Bumblebee Man: Ay Chihuahua!
Helen: Oh, yes, that makes more sense. Let’s go meet with El Bombastico!
Bart: We couldn’t find anyone who spoke Spanish.
Helen: What about that man dressed like a bumblebee?
Bart: You mean Bumblebee Man?
Helen: I’m a busy lady, I can’t be expected to know everyone’s name around here, Bort.
The Real Investorettes Pt. 3
Luann: El Bombastico just pulled up in his luncha-4-door compact.
El Bombastico: ¡Hola! ¿Cómo puedo servirles?
Helen: What did he say?
Bumblebee Man: Ehhh… he say… you have the teeth of a much younger woman.
Luann: Oh, why thank you! Tell him thank you!
Bumblebee Man: Mucho Queso.
El Bombastico: ¿Estamos comiendo nachos?
Helen: Shall we get down to business?
Bumblebee Man: ¿Los accidentes para su gato?
El Bombastico: ¿Mi gato? ¿Ricky Meowtin?
Make Investorettes Attend a Negotiation Meeting- x4 12hrs, Earns $420, 100xp Freemium and $600, 150xp Premium
Make Bumblebee Man Fake Translate- 12hrs, Earns $600, 150xp (only applies if you have Bumblebee Man)
Helen: We would love for you to headline our pro-wrestling event.
Bumblebee Man: Ehh… Te gusta… el pro wrestlo… frijoles?
Helen: And is there a Mrs. Bombastico? We would love to have her join the Investorettes!
Bumblebee Man: Tu esposa huele a pescado.
El Bombastico: *GASP* ¡Usted insulta a mi esposa!
Luann: Where is he going?! Is his marriage on the rocks? Because I’m willing to take a bullet and become a famous wrestler’s wife.
Agnes: No, that was clearly an offended walk off. I should know –I invented it when Houdini refused to give me the quarter he pulled from behind my ear. My ear, my quarter!
Bumblebee Man: Forgive me – I do not know Spanish. My parents were just very tan Italians. Which I also do not speak.
The Real Investorettes Pt. 4
Helen: What a disaster. And it’s all your fault!
Bumblebee Man: Ay dios mio!
Luann: Well, hold on a second. We don’t need El Bombastico. We just need a man in a funny costume.
Helen: Duffman won’t return my calls after I had him excommunicated.
Luann: Not Duffman. Bumblebee Man! Or more accurately El Bumblebastico!
Bumblebee Man as El Bombastico: Ay Ay Ay!
Helen: You think Moe would let us host a drunk wrestling contest at his bar?
Moe: WOULD I EVER! Aw, shucks. Don’t tell anyone that I was hiding in your bushes, alright?
Bumblebee Man as El Bombastico: No. No me gusta.
Agnes: There’s only two ways out of this situation Bumbleboy. One, you do this for us. Two, end of list.
Bumblebee Man as El Bombastico: Que lastima!
Bart: His Spanish is getting much better.
Make the Investorettes Host a Pro Wrestling Show- x4, 24hrs, Earns $600, 150xp Freemium and $1,000, 225xp Premium
Make Bumblebee Man Do Lucha Libre!- 24hrs, Earns $1,000, 225xp (only applies if you have Bumblebee Man)
Bart: Wow, we really learned a lot about investing.
Milhouse: Name one thing.
Bart: I’d prefer not to.
And with that Level 50 is complete!
It’s a fun little update to keep you busy taping. AND the dialogue is pretty funny. And now Helen can finally…Think of the Children! If you run it from start to finish, with out using donuts, it will take you 4 days and 1hr to complete the two Level 50 questlines!
My best advice? DON’T RUSH IT! Take your time with this questline and enjoy it. And remember…save those donuts for content. Don’t spend them on rushing. 🙂
What do you think of Level 50? Were you happy with the character choice? How about Helen’s Dialogue? Where have you placed the Municipal Pancake House in your Springfield? How do you feel about the non-spoiler list of characters above the fold? Something you’d like us to keep doing? Or would you rather us not? Sound off in the comments below, you know we love hearing from you!