“Psst! Avast there! It be too late to alter course, mateys. And there be plundering pirates lurkin’ in ev’ry cove, waitin’ to board. Sit closer together and keep your ruddy hands in board. That be the best way to repel boarders. And mark well me words, mateys: Dead men tell no tales! Ye come seekin’ adventure with salty old pirates, eh? Sure you’ve come to the proper place. But keep a weather eye open, mates, and hold on tight. With both hands, if you please. Thar be squalls ahead, and Davy Jones waiting for them what don’t obey.”
In our silly lil game, we sometimes see things pop in that we have no clue as to their Origin. They seem familiar, but we just can’t pinpoint from where. So that is why we decided to make a fun lil reminder out of it. To let you know just Where Did THAT Come From?
Avast ye landlubbers! Fairly warned ye be says I… this is a post a wee bit late but still necessary. Seriously though, life in the Wookieeverse has been crazy over the last month or so and Alissa the Amazing has been so understanding as I sorted out my life. Not all fixed but I did find some time to write a few posts. Looking back at all my origin stuff, there’s quite a bit to catch up on and this is step one in an effort to get you some info from where all the stuff in our game comes from. Act Three of the Time Travel Toaster Event was all about piracy and a joy for this fuzzball. I just had to share episodes. Woohoo for new things in TSTO! As usual, new additions mean it’s time for me to stop eating cheetos in my recliner while working on my weekly podcast and get to writing about the origins for it all. It’s always a pleasure to re-watch episodes of the Best. Show. Ever. For this round of origins,we’ll be taking a look at a whole bunch of items:
Blackbeard – premium character for 100 donuts
Pirate Ship w/ Sexy Pirate – 7th Act Three Prize for 88,200 eye patches
Wisecracking Parrot – 3rd Act Three Prize for 43,700 eye patches
Pirate Animatronic – 1st Act Three Prize for 10,100 eye patches
Pirate Prison – premium decoration for 60 donuts
Siren Masthead – Level 14 crafting
Gallows – 6th Act Three Prize for 67,200 eye patches
Bridge Arch Animatronic – 5th prize for in the Pirate Era Excavation Prize Track
Mermaid Petting Zoo – Level 15 crafting
This is a while whopping list of piracy items so I thought the only way to tackle it appropriately was to go chronologically. Pirates love order, right? Ironically, my list was almost sorted this way anyways. First up, we head to “Treehouse of Horror IV” (S5:E5) for the sole sighting of Blackbeard on Satan Flanders jury of the damned in the trial for Homer Simpson’s soul. I love this and the Court of Infernal Affairs.
Also really funny that there’s no seating and Blackbeard has to sit in Maggie’s high chair. “This chair be high says I.”
I could watch this segment over and over. Marge’s defense of her husband is so classic. We also learn that Blackbeard’s debauchery was his way of compensating for being unable to read. Good stuff.
We next head to “Lisa’s Rival” (S6:E2) for a brief glimpse of the Sexy Pirate and his ship. Sure this episode is more about Lisa feeling her position as top student being threatened by Allison Taylor but early in the episode, we find Marge reading Love in the Time of Scurvy.
Like a lot of women her age (and some men too probably), the racy romance novel transports Marge away to the land of imagination and pirate ships.
Marge’s bosom heaves like the seas and she’s all about some smooching with her sexy swashbuckling paramour. Alas… real life in the form of Lisa’s saxamaphone intrudes on her daydreaming ruining her sax.
We don’t get more of the Pirate in the episode but we do at least see how Marge feels after reading her book with no one around. You go Marge!
Our next item is the wisecracking parrot and for this we head to “The Daughter Also Rises” (S23:E13). This episode is all about Lisa’s romance with a crackhead, errr, a boy named Nick she met thru a crack I should say. Courtesy of Grampa, Lisa imagines her romance to be like that of Pyramus and Thisbe. Like most stories about doomed romances that persevere through time, Lisa imagines the original tale taken over by Disney complete with a talking parrot. So there you go… the new NPC is an Iago rip-off.
The next pirate stuff to write about is by far my favorite of the entire act and it all comes from “The Man Who Came to Be Dinner” (S26:E10). Yes this is the canon episode which brought us our favorite family visiting Rigel 7 and once was an idea for a Simpsons Movie sequel but even better, the whole thing starts with a spoof of Disneyland. If you know anything about my personal life, you’d know why I think this is funny. Long and short, part of the trip to Dizneeland is a joke about the Pirates of the Caribbean attraction. Once upon a time in the 1990s, the attraction was changed due to complaints about insensitivity, namely a lustful pirate who spoke misogynistically about a woman and pirates that chased women. This joke by The Simpsons really struck a chord for me and made me laugh. “No means no… we know now…”
I’m so happy to have all this in my town. Even funnier to me, another scene from this ride recently came under fire and is being changed. Just look up Bride Auction Redhead in conjunction with the ride’s name if you’re interested in all that mess. Funny to me that all this was going on at the same time as Act Three. Sometimes coincidences with Simpsons stuff is funny.
For our last item, we head to “Friend With Benefit” (S27:E6). In this episode, Lisa makes a rich friend and although the two hit it off immediately, the friendship is strained after spending a lot of time together. Homer and the family enjoy the perks of being connected to a billionaire via Harper and convince Lisa to let them visit Harper’s dad’s private tropical island even if she’s not fond of his spoiled kid. One of the many amazing things there is the Mermaid Petting Zoo.
Mr. Jambowski’s island also has a pirate ship where you can fire upon other vessels. Coolness and a nice way to bookend this post with all pirate stuff. Did I mention the island formerly was called Haiti? Lots of pirate history in the Bahamas and various archipelagos of the Caribbean.
Anyhoo… that’s a ton of pirate stuff we got from a bunch of different episodes. Act three by far was my favorite of the 2017 Time Traveling Toaster Event but that probably came from all the Disney joking. What did you think of it all? Did you remember the episodes? Ever been on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride? Earn everything? Apologies for the lateness of this post but life has been a series of walking the plank and showing my larboard side lately. Sound off in the comments, much love, and happy tapping friends. There will be more posts soon!
TTFN… Wookiee out!