Friday Filler – When Fake News Still Makes You Laugh

Thank Grog It’s Firday!!

It wasn’t so much that someone was trying to influence an election, or sway a vote, or even “troll” someone with a photoshopped pic, that made me sad.

No…it was the fact that I was actually excited to follow up on something that happened in the last Addicts Live, and ran into a dead end…even after “The Picture” showed up in my email.

That’s right…there is a mystery attached to this episode of “Friday Filler,” and unfortunately, at the end of the investigation, a death was discovered.

It all began when all four of the team members showed up for the last “Addicts Live” event.  As we have learned, when all four of us are in the “room,” we tend to digress…a lot!

This update is pretty lame, and somehow, the topic of Harry Potter, and Quiditch, and snitches came up. And boy…did it come up.

There are some lines in this episode of “Addicts Live” that may very well go down in TSTOAddicts Infamy.  Take a look, if you missed it…

Things start going off-track…I mean REALLY off-track at about the 15 minute mark…

Quidditch…a game made famous (and someone popular) by Harry Potter, is one of those things that simply doesn’t translate from the big screen to real life.  I am open to all sorts of recreational entertainment… but, HolyFreakinShirt! Nobody, man or woman, should be seen running up and down a field with a tiny broomstick between their legs.  Nobody.

Don’t Believe Me????
Take a look for yourself. 

Here are two videos about two teams…one is from the University of Oregon…the other from fancy-schmancy UCLA, which with its proximity to Hollyweird, is simply going to take this game far more seriously. They probably have classes in Quidditch Cinematography there.

There is one very distinct difference between the two teams and the way they play the game…and this difference, I suspect, had everything to do with the death I mentioned earlier.

But first, the FAKE NEWS….
I received a copy through Alissa of this supremely strange (and yet magically hilarious) picture of what is supposed to be me, dressed in a University of Oregon Snitch outfit.  I must say…I NEVER looked better!  it comes by way of TSTO Addict and obvious photoshop wizard, juctinkaitelNICE JOB!

When I say, “I never looked better,” I should have said, “I never looked this good!”  The fact is, since my mid-teens, when football became my passion, I have been blessed/cursed with 28-inch thighs, and 14-inch calves. A low center of gravity would be an understatement.  This tall, lanky, golden-snitch is likely from some Ivy-league school, or Southern Cal School.

Here’s what I looked like around the age of 30, when I was still playing rugby ( I played until my mid-30s).

You can tell by the look on my face, that if anyone dared to get CLOSE to my “snitch” they were going to pay the price…

But, back to the mystery…and the death.
I took the challenge of trying to find out more about the U of O Quidditch Club, starting with a Google Search of College Quidditch teams.

Here’s the map…

This map represents the current number of active teams in the United States Quidditch Association.  But, it also alerted me to a problem with my search…Nobody In Oregon!  Nobody!

After Googling University of Oregon Quidditch, I saw a number of posts links to stories about the U of O Quidditch club…but nothing more current than 2015. In fact…after closer examination, almost ALL of the links about Quidditch are old.

Someone at the University MURDERED Quidditch!!!

However…when you read the stories (and I did), you realize that the Oregon Duck Quidditch team was never going to take this “sport” seriously enough to travel to play other teams…as witnessed by the KEY CLUE in their video…

Here is one article that does the best of explaining Quidditch in general.  But it was writen in 2010…before official brooms were introduced. (see below)

In one article, it states, “And while the fledgling UO Quidditch team hopes to one day make it to the coveted World Cup, for now, they are working toward recruiting more members and being officially recognized by the university’s associative student body.”

Pffffftttttt!!!  How can you be taken seriously as a Quidditch team, if you don’t use brooms???!!!  That would be like playing golf, with a baseball bat…or, maybe playing tackle golf, where you could head off someone looking for their ball, with a blind-side blast, and then racing over to their ball and hitting back toward the tee! Hey…wait a minute…that sounds like FUN! But, I digress…

It seems that the rest of the Quidditch world went on just fine without Oregon…In fact, there is a Regional Championship this weekend, in Olympia, Washington.  Event info Here

I think it is abundantly clear who MURDERED U of O Quidditch…the players who refused to run around with those tiny brooms between their legs for hours. Personally, I would prefer a much larger broom, as size does matter…at least in the case of falling onto your tiny broom, and needing it surgically removed. Not a pretty sight.

You can’t play REAL QUIDDITCH without a broom… without the broom, it’s just a bunch of kids running around in the mud, tackling one another. And let’s face it, the guys and gals at U of O have been doing that for decades without a league or referee.

However…if you want to play QUIDDITCH THE RIGHT WAY… You need brooms!!

Here is a pic from one of the original college Quidditch Team’s equipment from 2004.

Pretty cool!

However, it seems the “Muggles” of the USQ, have decided that running around with a broom between your legs, in full Broomage (Broom plumage), is undignified, and sullies the “sport” side of things.

So they now us OFFICALLY SANCTIONED USQ “brooms” for all official play!

Which looks like this when players are in full-blown Quidditch play…

So…lots of stick…cool rubber grips…but NO BROOMAGE!

So…is this an improvement?  Or does it simply give these guys a retort to, “Hey…ya got a stick up yer butt?”  They can now say, “No! That is actually an officially sanctioned USQ Broom sticking out of my butt!”

Much better…

The fact is…I’m on the fence about Quidditch. It seems like another one of those sports where people who don’t really like sports (and would ridicule the Super Bowl, or the World Series) have come up with one more way to create a game that most respectable athletes would never remotely want to play.  But, then again…I have 28″ thighs, and the cost of talcum powder and Vaseline would be a financial burden.

OH…and I DID just watch 4 hours of Olympic Curling, which would be really weird if they were using USQ Brooms!

I think I am happy that the U of O kids refused to use brooms. I just can’t see women in the “Me too” era, being happy with the pictures…or being forced to grab a golden snitch, for the good of the team.  But, I guess I’m old fashioned.

Have YOU played QUIDDITCH?  Do you know someone who does?  Do they walk funny after a tournament? 

We want to know… 


22 responses to “Friday Filler – When Fake News Still Makes You Laugh

  1. Thanks you for share post link.

  2. I’m 34 (am/was young enough when the books/movies came out) and a big HP fan, and my 8 year old has recently gotten really into it so I’m currently rereading the books with her and we have recently seen all of the movies (multiple times each…) but even I think this is silly. However, my 20 year old sister is in college and loves it. Maybe it’s an age thing? A generation thing? Just a general difference in mentality/interest?

    Either way, hearing that you played rugby gives me a new respect for you. I was a fullback/wing/outside center through college and a couple years after. Based on your height/size I’d guess you were a flanker?

    • Well…I was late to the game of Rugby. I played American football through hIgh school and college, and was a nose guard and an outside linebacker. So, I was quick… but as I mentioned, have huge thighs! So, when I was first introduced to Rugby, with a University Club team at the age of 26, I was first deemed to be a “perfect Prop.” However, it didn’t take them long to figure out that I loved hitting people…and was moved to both an 8 and a 10 when needed, but mostly played both flankers. Waiting for the ball to come out, and then flying to the tackle, was still my forte’.

      When I found out there was no blocking…and that you could fly across a field and level someon, I was in heaven. My teammates didn’t really explain “off-sides” to me for a long time…because they liked to watch me light up some poor fullback…even if it meant a penalty.

      It did take me 7 broken noses to stop tackling like football (put your head in the numbers)…I was a slow learner.

      I loved the game. And admit readily it is a better sport than American football in many ways.

      • Yeah, I was started at lock because of my height (6’3″) but quickly shifted into the backs as my weight (~180lbs) wasn’t quite what it needed to be. A decade and a half of soccer gave me a decent foot and my speed was always better than most so it didn’t take long before I’d worked my way to the outside of the line.

        I was more offensive-minded so wouldn’t exactly say I was in heaven when making tackles, but I always loved chasing down a wing that thought he had snuck along the touch line or seeing the face of the 275lb guy after my skinny a** dropped him on what he thought was his breakaway.

        I managed to escape with a single broken nose, but two cracked ribs, a broken toe and mild cauliflower ear (I still loved to ruck…) were my only serious injuries.

        I haven’t followed the sport much recently, but happened to be in Dublin for work a few weeks ago when Ireland crushed Italy in a Six Nations match and being there really brought it all back. I need to figure out when the next alumni/old boys game is around here…

  3. I have ow deckded that the ‘game of quiditch’ sums up where the world is going wrong . i am kw oddficially a Grumpy Old Man and we are going to hell in a handcart as SWMBO is apt to,say.

    Not only do we have adults running around a field with a broomstick between their legs someone has the great idea of enhancing the equipment streamlined go fast stripes 20 quid please.

    words fail me well they dont as i am writing this but eloquent words fail me and well thats usual for me as well….

    At least the Calcutta Cup is on this pm.

    • The world seems to be in dire need of diversion…
      The problem being when our diversions take our focus off of solutions. Trust me…”being nice” on this blog can wear one down. Luckily I have other outlets for change.

  4. These College kids should talk with their teachers about the sense of playing Quidditch in 2D. The only way people can “fly” on a broom would be underwater, they could use James Bond kind of stuff to play. Otherwise I would suggest they should use their College brain power to develop Quidditch drones. Kids you need a 3D aspect otherwise you are just looking like 3 years old riding a wooden horse. If we choose the innocent way to look at it…

  5. Thanks for being such a good sport Patric. 😉

  6. The brooms were a source of motion. So a true replacement would be a horse (it moves and still between your legs). But I would go with an Electric Unicycle.

  7. While I am Harry Potter fan, I’ve never played Quidditch nor seen it played…until a few months ago. The seeing part. Still haven’t played.

    I was scanning through the channels and basically stumbled upon the real-world ESPN 8 (The Ocho!). And there in the listings it noted “Quidditch Tournament.”

    Not believing it, I clicked to view…and there’s it was. College kids with sticks between their legs, tossing balls and chasing a “Golden Snitch.” Not quite the same as the Photoshopped Patric, but kinda close.

    I was mesmerized by the insanity. But sadly, it was only on for another half-hour or so. Haven’t seen it since.

    Sure, I can go to YouTube, but stumbling upon it on TV was a special moment 😄

  8. Actually I’m glad they didn’t use brooms, as that would indicate they realized it was foolishness! But then how does a “sport” team honor the spirit of Quiditch if you don’t use a broom? It’s a chicken and egg type of question! But at the same time, I am pretty sure J.K. Rowling would prefer they not use real brooms either. I think it’s the thought that counts…I mean when you think about it the point of the game is to catch the golden snitch, so any regular nerd with a brain would realize catching a tiny snitch would be pretty much tiny football! Hahaha.

    • I’m guessing that JK gets a piece of all of the “authentic harry potter brooms” sold. She is a merchandising maven.

      • Your reply got me thinking! After a semi quick google search of JK Rowling Quidditch Broomsticks, I did not figure out if Rowling has Broomsticks (for “sport” for sale. BUT! I did discover there is a DOCUMENTARY about quidditch made in 2014! HOLYFREAKINSHIRT! Here’s an article that describes the documentary “Mudbloods” (a sympathetic look at the athleticism…allegedly) BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY…. the documentary can be rented for .99 cents on Amazon. I won’t be able to watch it until later tonight, but I will put a reply in this thread after I watch it!

        • Ok I have watched the documentary Mudbloods. Was it worth an hour of my time? Yup I enjoyed it, as I was curious as to what kind of people would play real life quiditch. There were even some great quotes from the college kids, who were all self aware and articulate.
          Quotes such as:

          “This is the official replica broom of the Nimbus 2000, but we only have one of them because they are $60 dollars each.”

          “You can’t have shame and play the game”

          “I realized that no one could really call us nerds while we were out here, but if they did then i could just tackle them, and then they would stop so…”

          “(…Our hobbies) kind of reinforces our sense of being the outsiders, and I think we all thrive on that.”

          and then my all time favorite quote: “I can’t believe this is happening”.

          Like JK Rowling, they made something out of nothing, which is kind of impressive. The documentary runs an hour and a half but I’ve already mentally checked out an hour in. But I feel like .99 cents was well spent! If your on the fence, I would recommend this if you’ve followed along with the last TSTO addicts live, you’ve read Patric’s last post and this post, and if your curious about “what the fuss is all about”, I’d say watch Mudbloods!

  9. LMFAO! If patric showed up at my door in that gold outfit. I’d have to release the hounds with orders to snatch his snitch.

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