Thank Grog It’s Firday!!
It wasn’t so much that someone was trying to influence an election, or sway a vote, or even “troll” someone with a photoshopped pic, that made me sad.
No…it was the fact that I was actually excited to follow up on something that happened in the last Addicts Live, and ran into a dead end…even after “The Picture” showed up in my email.
That’s right…there is a mystery attached to this episode of “Friday Filler,” and unfortunately, at the end of the investigation, a death was discovered.
It all began when all four of the team members showed up for the last “Addicts Live” event. As we have learned, when all four of us are in the “room,” we tend to digress…a lot!
This update is pretty lame, and somehow, the topic of Harry Potter, and Quiditch, and snitches came up. And boy…did it come up.
There are some lines in this episode of “Addicts Live” that may very well go down in TSTOAddicts Infamy. Take a look, if you missed it…
Things start going off-track…I mean REALLY off-track at about the 15 minute mark…
Quidditch…a game made famous (and someone popular) by Harry Potter, is one of those things that simply doesn’t translate from the big screen to real life. I am open to all sorts of recreational entertainment… but, HolyFreakinShirt! Nobody, man or woman, should be seen running up and down a field with a tiny broomstick between their legs. Nobody.
Don’t Believe Me????
Take a look for yourself.
Here are two videos about two teams…one is from the University of Oregon…the other from fancy-schmancy UCLA, which with its proximity to Hollyweird, is simply going to take this game far more seriously. They probably have classes in Quidditch Cinematography there.
There is one very distinct difference between the two teams and the way they play the game…and this difference, I suspect, had everything to do with the death I mentioned earlier.
But first, the FAKE NEWS….
I received a copy through Alissa of this supremely strange (and yet magically hilarious) picture of what is supposed to be me, dressed in a University of Oregon Snitch outfit. I must say…I NEVER looked better! it comes by way of TSTO Addict and obvious photoshop wizard, juctinkaitel. NICE JOB!
When I say, “I never looked better,” I should have said, “I never looked this good!” The fact is, since my mid-teens, when football became my passion, I have been blessed/cursed with 28-inch thighs, and 14-inch calves. A low center of gravity would be an understatement. This tall, lanky, golden-snitch is likely from some Ivy-league school, or Southern Cal School.
Here’s what I looked like around the age of 30, when I was still playing rugby ( I played until my mid-30s).
You can tell by the look on my face, that if anyone dared to get CLOSE to my “snitch” they were going to pay the price…
But, back to the mystery…and the death.
I took the challenge of trying to find out more about the U of O Quidditch Club, starting with a Google Search of College Quidditch teams.
After Googling University of Oregon Quidditch, I saw a number of posts links to stories about the U of O Quidditch club…but nothing more current than 2015. In fact…after closer examination, almost ALL of the links about Quidditch are old.
Someone at the University MURDERED Quidditch!!!
However…when you read the stories (and I did), you realize that the Oregon Duck Quidditch team was never going to take this “sport” seriously enough to travel to play other teams…as witnessed by the KEY CLUE in their video…
THEY DIDN’T USE BROOMS!!!!!
Here is one article that does the best of explaining Quidditch in general. But it was writen in 2010…before official brooms were introduced. (see below)
In one article, it states, “And while the fledgling UO Quidditch team hopes to one day make it to the coveted World Cup, for now, they are working toward recruiting more members and being officially recognized by the university’s associative student body.”
Pffffftttttt!!! How can you be taken seriously as a Quidditch team, if you don’t use brooms???!!! That would be like playing golf, with a baseball bat…or, maybe playing tackle golf, where you could head off someone looking for their ball, with a blind-side blast, and then racing over to their ball and hitting back toward the tee! Hey…wait a minute…that sounds like FUN! But, I digress…
It seems that the rest of the Quidditch world went on just fine without Oregon…In fact, there is a Regional Championship this weekend, in Olympia, Washington. Event info Here
I think it is abundantly clear who MURDERED U of O Quidditch…the players who refused to run around with those tiny brooms between their legs for hours. Personally, I would prefer a much larger broom, as size does matter…at least in the case of falling onto your tiny broom, and needing it surgically removed. Not a pretty sight.
You can’t play REAL QUIDDITCH without a broom… without the broom, it’s just a bunch of kids running around in the mud, tackling one another. And let’s face it, the guys and gals at U of O have been doing that for decades without a league or referee.
However…if you want to play QUIDDITCH THE RIGHT WAY… You need brooms!!
However, it seems the “Muggles” of the USQ, have decided that running around with a broom between your legs, in full Broomage (Broom plumage), is undignified, and sullies the “sport” side of things.
So…lots of stick…cool rubber grips…but NO BROOMAGE!
So…is this an improvement? Or does it simply give these guys a retort to, “Hey…ya got a stick up yer butt?” They can now say, “No! That is actually an officially sanctioned USQ Broom sticking out of my butt!”
The fact is…I’m on the fence about Quidditch. It seems like another one of those sports where people who don’t really like sports (and would ridicule the Super Bowl, or the World Series) have come up with one more way to create a game that most respectable athletes would never remotely want to play. But, then again…I have 28″ thighs, and the cost of talcum powder and Vaseline would be a financial burden.
OH…and I DID just watch 4 hours of Olympic Curling, which would be really weird if they were using USQ Brooms!
I think I am happy that the U of O kids refused to use brooms. I just can’t see women in the “Me too” era, being happy with the pictures…or being forced to grab a golden snitch, for the good of the team. But, I guess I’m old fashioned.
Have YOU played QUIDDITCH? Do you know someone who does? Do they walk funny after a tournament?
We want to know…