Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
Nearly time for Milhouse’s fame to end…the Van Houten’s ends tomorrow. So while we count down till the next event, let’s look back on the Act 4 dialogue for the Van Houtens Event…
The Van Houten Curse Pt. 1
Jimbo: Hey, Milhouse. What’s your hat size? I wanna get you a cap just like mine.
Milhouse: Why don’t you just give me yours?
Jimbo: That’s a great idea! This is gonna be your best birthday party this week!
Bart: Unbelievable. Milhouse is friends with Jimbo now? Every time I try to make him uncool, he ends up even cooler.
Database: Excuse me, Superfriend, if you’re done monologuing, it’s your turn to roll the dodecahedron.
Bart: *sigh* Okay here goes.
Database: Gack! That’s the icosahedron! Bart, get your head in the game!
Bart: Look, the only reason I agreed to play Dungheaps and Doofuses with you guys is because you’re the only ones left who can’t get into Milhouse’s dumb birthday parties.
Database: Actually, we hacked the app and acquired a reservation to tonight’s late seating.
Bart: Of course you did.
Make Bart Roll for Initiative- 4hrs
Make Database Cast a Protection Spell on the Party- 4hrs
Collect Pasta- 4hrs, x155.
Bart: Heya Homer, wanna get some frosty chocolate milkshakes for old times’ sake?
Homer: Sorry, boy, but I already agreed to drive Lisa and Milhouse to get gelato. They pre-ordered forty-three of them for me.
Marge: Maybe we can hang out tonight? Just mother and son. And Maggie.
Maggie: *suck suck*
Bart: No thanks. I’ll just be up in my room binge watching anime until my eyes fall out.
Homer: Have fun!
The Van Houten Curse Pt. 2
Milhouse: Hey Lisa! Boy, have I got a special surprise for you tonight!
Lisa: Really? What is it?
Milhouse: We get to pick up my Nana from the airport.
Lisa: Didn’t we just spend hours with your grandmother?
Milhouse: That was my Dad’s mom. This is my Mom’s mom. She arrives at the INTERNATIONAL terminal. From Italy!
Lisa: *sigh* Bellissimo.
Make Milhouse Wait for Nana at the Airport- 4hrs
Make Lisa Wait With Milhouse at the Airport- 4hrs
Collect Pasta- 4hrs, x110.
The Van Houten Curse Pt. 3
Milhouse: Welcome to Springfield, Nana!
Nana Sophie: What I tell you about speaking English?
Milhouse: But we’re in America! That’s what we speak here.
Nana Sophie: Fine. But use your hands so I understand what you say. And who’s this? Bella ragazza! Much too pretty for you. What does her family owe us?
Milhouse: Nothing, Nana. This is my girlfriend, Lisa.
Lisa: *wildly waving hands* It’s nice to meet you.
Nana Sophie: Ah! I like her! *squeezes Lisa’s cheeks* Bella! Bella ragazza!
Make Milhouse Introduce Lisa to His Nana- 4hrs
Make Lisa Meet Milhouse’s Nana- 4hrs
Make Nana Sophie Mussolini Examine Milhouse- 4hrs
Collect Pasta- 4hrs, x150.
Nana Sophie: Milhouse, take my bags inside. And be careful! They are entirely full of wine from my vineyard. Take them straight to your wine cellar.
Lisa: Milhouse, do you think maybe we could go do something now, just the two of us?
Milhouse: Well, as soon as the feeling is back in our cheeks we could get gelato.
Nana Sophie: I can’t see what you’re saying. Raise your hands!
Milhouse: Nana, Lisa and I only need to buy two more gelatos to get a free—
Nana Sophie: Gelatos? Stupido! More than one gelato is gelati! Bring those cheeks right over here now!
The Van Houten Curse Pt. 4
Lisa: Milhouse, I think we should stop hanging out.
Milhouse: Why? Was it Nana?
Lisa: No, I liked Nana. She had very strong pinching fingers. Much stronger than your other grandma’s. It’s just that I realized that, just because other people think you’re cool, doesn’t mean I have to.
Milhouse: I learned a lesson, too. That it isn’t important what others think of me. Just what you think of me.
Lisa: Oh, Milhouse, that’s sweet.
Milhouse: Sweet enough to change your mind about hanging out with me?
Lisa: No. But sweet enough to make me pity you.
Milhouse: I’ll take that.
Make Lisa Break Up With Milhouse- 4hrs
Make Milhouse Cry and Run Home- 4hrs
Collect Pasta- 4hrs, x150.
Milhouse: Nana, Lisa doesn’t want to hang out with me! What am I gonna do?
Nana Sophie: *shakes him* You could act like a Van Houten!
Milhouse: Alright. I’ll try to suck it up.
Nana Sophie: No! Cry! Cry like a bambino! Get used to it. This is the Van Houten Curse.
Milhouse: What is?
Nana Sophie: All Van Houtens have a short time when they become popular. How do you think your Papa won over my Luann?
Milhouse: I thought he could crush beer cans on his forehead.
Nana Sophie: And remember — the Van Houten popularity never comes back after it leaves. Ever.
Nana Sophie: NEVER.
Nana Sophie: Now, come. I’m going to get you the best gelato Springfield’s Little Italy has to offer. Not that good, but I have a coupon. Buy ninety-eight…
The Van Houten Curse Pt. 5
Janey: Did you guys see Milhouse crying earlier?
Sherri and Terri: Yeah, Lisa broke up with him.
Janey: So, does that make Lisa even more popular now?
Sherri and Terri: Maybe if Milhouse was still cool. But since he cried like a baby, he definitely isn’t cool anymore. So, by the transitive properties of coolness, Lisa’s just Lisa again.
Janey: I don’t think I follow…
Sherri and Terri: Me neither. Let’s just say they’re both uncool now. C’mon, let’s go jump rope!
Milhouse: Hey Bart, let’s go to my house. There may be some Squishee syrup left over from the last of my parties.
Bart: That sounds great! But you know what sounds even greater? We go to MY house.
Make Bart Invite Milhouse to His House- 4hrs
Make Milhouse Play at Bart’s House- 4hrs
Collect Pasta- 4hrs, x109.
Bart: So how come your Nana is so cool but she’s still related to you?
Milhouse: She’s not a Van Houten. She’s a Mussolini.
Bart: Oh. That’s a name to be proud of.
Milhouse: No one is cooler than an authentic Italian. I wonder if I inherited anything from that side of the family.
Bart: I could shoot you with the Go-Go Ray and see if you dance the tarantella.
Milhouse: Worth a try!
Bart: So, Milhouse. Now that everything’s back to normal, what was the best part of being popular?
Milhouse: When I learned that there’s a Van Houten Curse.
Bart: There’s a Van Houten Curse?
Milhouse: Yep. It means I will never, ever, ever be cool again.
Bart: Wow. That is so cool.
Milhouse: Thanks, Bart. You’re a true friend.
Bart: Okay, now you ruined it.
Make Bart Think Milhouse Is Cool- 4hrs
Make Milhouse Ruin It- 4hrs
And this concludes the Van Houtens!
Thoughts on the Fourth Act? The event in general? Ready for what’s next? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!