Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
Love is in the air! Although maybe not so much in the Simpsons’ household…
Love and War is the latest event to hit our pocket-sized towns, and it’s an all-out romance novel affair! Time to wrap the story up with a pretty little bow!
Now on with the exciting conclusion of the Love and War Romance and the Act 4 dialogue…
Sickness and in Wealth Pt. 1
Homer: Marge, it took me too long to realize what a jerk I’ve been. I haven’t paid nearly enough attention to you and your interests. Also, I owe you a real Valentine’s Day present, so I booked us a couple’s night cruise. And absolutely no Lenny.
Marge: *kisses Homer* Thank you, Homie, you had me at “Lenny”.
Homer: That was the very last word.
Marge: And that’s when you had me. Anyway, we have bigger problems. I just got an invitation to Temperance and Artie’s wedding. It’s happening today!
Homer: Didn’t they just meet? God, millennials are the worst.
Marge: They’re the same age as us.
Homer: I meant millennials from the 1800s.
Marge: The point is, we have to break up that wedding.
Homer: Say no more, baby. Ruining weddings is one of the things I do best. Remember our first three?
Marge: Captain Mordecai, you’re coming too. Breaking up this wedding may be a two-clod job.
Captain Mordecai: Anything for my yoga partner.
Make Marge Head to the Wedding- 4hrs
Make Homer Do Whatever Marge Says- 4hrs
Make Captain Mordecai Sharpen his Sword- 4hrs
Collect Wedding Cakes- x155.
Sickness and in Wealth Pt. 2
Homer: Alright, Marge. Are you ready for us to go break up this wedding?
Marge: In a minute… I just need to finish writing this last chapter so our hero can appear and save the day.
Homer: I didn’t know you were writing me into your novel. You really think I can be a knight in shining armor?
Marge: Umm, yeah. That’s what I’m doing. I’m definitely not writing that Captain Mordecai is about to kidnap Temperance so Cyrus can thwart his plans and save the day.
Make Marge Confront Artie – 4hrs
Make Homer Prepare to Ruin the Wedding– 4hrs
Make Captain Mordecai Lick His Sword- 4hrs
Collect Wedding Cakes- x115.
Marge: Stop! Temperance, you cannot marry that man!
Temperance: Marge? What are you doing here?
Marge: You invited me. And a plus one.
Homer: That’s me! And I also brought a plus one!
Captain Mordecai: It is I!
Temperance: Mordecai? I don’t think we ordered enough chicken. One of you will have to eat a vegetarian meal.
Captain Mordecai: Fine! Whatever it takes to stop this wedding.
Artie Ziff: Enough! I thought you might try to get between me and eternal happiness, Marge, so I’ve prepared a little surprise just for you. Behold…Robot Marge!
Robot Marge: Diagnostics complete. All systems operational. What are your orders, master?
Artie Ziff: Stop Marge and her goons from interfering with my wedding.
Robot Marge: Affirmative. Setting kill-level to: Gruesome.
Homer: That doesn’t sound good. But don’t worry, Marge. I got this. Just let me do some quick warm-ups. I don’t want to pull a muscle.
Sickness and in Wealth Pt. 3
Homer: It’s hopeless, Marge. That robot you has your angry face. How can I compete with that?!
Cyrus Manley: Unhand that maiden, Captain Mordecai! For I, Cyrus Manley, am here to save the day!
Marge: Uh, bad timing, Cyrus. Mordecai hasn’t kidnapped Temperance yet… He’s actually still on our side. We’re trying to stop Artie, but he has a robot bodyguard protecting him.
Cyrus Manley: What’s a robot?
Captain Mordecai: Cyrus Manley… You ran off with my wife. I should kill you right here and now! But I’m in a good mood, on account of the yoga I did earlier, plus I’ve got another man to kill first.
Cyrus Manley: I’m in a good mood, too. I bumped into a fella earlier who looked almost exactly like me, and we talked about the Bible for hours. You know, I hated this town when I first arrived, but it’s growing on me.
Captain Mordecai: Same here! This place actually brings out the best in me.
Cyrus Manley: Who knew all we needed was a new setting to go from enemies to frenemies?
Captain Mordecai: Aww, come here and gimme a hug!
Marge: This is not what I wrote.
Make Marge Facepalm – 4hrs
Make Homer Cower at “Angry Face”- 4hrs
Make Captain Mordecai Hug Cyrus– 4hrs
Make Cyrus Hug Captain Mordecai- 4hrs
Collect Wedding Cakes- x115.
Robot Marge: Master Artie, shall I commence with Operation Red Wedding?
Artie Ziff: Just a sec.
Temperance: Artie, where did this mechanical abomination come from?
Artie Ziff: Who, Robot Marge? Don’t worry about her. That was just a backup plan in case you didn’t agree to marry me.
Temperance: What does that mean?
Artie Ziff: Oh, nothing… Now, don’t you worry your pretty little head about Robot Marge. Sure, she cost a fortune, but I’ve got figurative money to burn. Literally!
Sickness and in Wealth Pt. 4
Marge: Guys, we still have to stop this wedding and figure out what to do about Robot Marge.
Captain Mordecai: You leave that scallywag to me.
Homer: And I’ll take Artie. I can take him down a peg. He’s already pretty short, but you know what I mean.
Cyrus Manley: And I’ll see if I can talk some sense into Temperance. Marge, what about you?
Marge: Don’t worry about me. I’m typing as fast as I can! Go, go, go!
Make Marge Write Everyone’s Actions- 4hrs
Make Homer Take Artie Down- 4hrs
Make Captain Mordecai Duel Robot Marge- 4hrs
Make Cyrus Make a Dash for Temperance- 4hrs
Collect Wedding Cakes- x155.
Captain Mordecai: Okay, metal she-devil. Prepare to meet your maker.
Artie Ziff: You mean me? We’ve met.
Captain Mordecai: Then I’m gonna make ye walk the plank while you watch your loved ones suffer their final breaths.
Robot Marge: Computing… That is the most romantic thing I’ve ever computed.
Captain Mordecai: It is?
Robot Marge: Affirmative. I am programmed to learn the most efficient methods of pain and torture. We could learn a lot from each other. We could maim by day and make sweet love by night, as I am also programmed in the ways of physical pleasure.
Captain Mordecai: That’s the most romantic thing I’VE ever computed, er, heard. Robot Marge, will you marry me?
Artie Ziff: Infernal machine! You’re supposed to kill, not marry! That’s the last time I order my killer robots from Ukraine.
Sickness and in Wealth Pt. 5
Homer: Looks like your bodyguard has been neutralized, Artie. It’s over for you.
Artie Ziff: Puh-lease! You think that’s the only ace I’ve got up my sleeve?
Homer: Here’s what I have up my sleeve. *punches Artie* My fist!
Artie Ziff: Ow!
Cyrus Manley: Temperance, my dear. I’m so happy you’re okay. That robot didn’t hurt you, did it?
Temperance: No, I’m fine. Although that Marge-amaton was really creepy, wasn’t it?
Captain Mordecai: Hey, she’s not an unfeeling automaton. She’s an unfeeling Mechano-American.
Cyrus Manley: Temperance, I’ve been such a fool. I can’t believe I forgot our anniversary. Do you think you could ever find it in your heart to forgive me?
Temperance: I’m beginning to realize that we all make mistakes… I mean, I almost married a man with a robot version of the real woman who created the fictional character that somehow conjured into me.
Cyrus Manley: So, is that a yes?
Make Marge Sign in Relief- 4hrs
Make Homer Keep Shaking Fists at Artie- 4hrs
Make Captain Mordecai Run off with Robot Marge- 4hrs
Make Robot Marge Compute the Meaning of Love- 4hrs
Make Cyrus Hug Temperance- 4hrs
Make Temperace Take Cyrus Back- 4hrs
Collect Wedding Cakes- x195.
Cyrus Manley: Temperance, you’ve made me the happiest man alive! In fact, I can’t think of any other woman I’d rather spend the rest of my life with. Temperance Barrows, will you marry me?
Temperance: Gosh, I only just got here in the 21st century. I need a little time to shop around and…clear my head and…fix my shoes. Gotta leave ‘em something for the next sequel… Bye! *runs off*
Twist of Fat
Homer: Well, it looks like a happy ending for everyone.
Artie Ziff: Not for me.
Cyrus Manley: Or me.
Captain Mordecai: I got badly injured on my robot honeymoon.
Homer: But the most important lesson we learned is that no matter how many stupid things I do, we always end up back together. So how about next time we just save all the heartache and skip right to the part where we’re back together.
Marge: You’re about to do something else stupid, aren’t you?
Homer: I do it all for you, Marge. All for you.
Make Marge Kiss Homer- 4hrs
Make Homer Get Kissed Before Doing Something Stupid- 4hrs
And this concludes Act 4 of the Love and War Event!
Thoughts on the fourth Act? Have you finished the prize track? Thoughts on the dialogue? What did you think of the overall storyline? Did it make you laugh? Ready for what’s next? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!