Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
We’re nearing the final days of the Breakout Bounty mini-event, ends on September 29th. As the event winds down, it’s time to take a seat in the back of the police cruiser, as we take a look back at the dialogue for this event…just in case you missed it while tapping too fast! So here’s the full dialogue for the Breakout Bounty mini-event main questline…
Oops, I Did It Again
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Wiggum: You know that feeling you get when you’re pretty sure you forgot to do something important?
Lou: You forgot to lock up the prison again, didn’t you?
Wiggum: How’d you guess?
Lou: It’s all over TV. Mass riot, large-scale breakout, multiple casualties…
Wiggum: Did they at least spell my name right this time?
Lou: Looks like we’ve got some police work to do.
Wiggum: *moans* That’s the part of this job I hate most.
Apu: Chief Wiggum, sir. My store is being robbed!
Wiggum: I got bigger fish to fry right now, Apu. Besides, your store gets robbed like every other day.
Apu: But now there is a line of robbers out the door waiting to rob the place!
Wiggum: Well, props for their organizational skills. Clearly our prison system is doing something right.
Make Apu Get Robbed Over and Over– 6s
Make Wiggum Talk to the Press– 6s
Make Lou Go Lock the Prison Door- 6s
Bounty of Bounties Pt. 1
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Wiggum: Wolf! Just the man I was looking for. We need some help tracking down a bunch of escaped cons.
Wolf: Leave the door unlocked again?
Wiggum: Jeez, you forget to lock the prison two times…
Wolf: Happy to help as soon as I close my current bounty. Can you believe this guy? All unpaid parking tickets.
Homer: Wolf the Bounty Hunter! You’re my favorite canine-based crime fighter! Besides McGriff the Crime Dog and Scooby-Doo and Wolverine. I would probably also toss Dynomutt in there. Can I have your autograph?
Wolf: Of course. I keep headshots with me at all times. Who should I make it out to?
Homer: Homer J. Simpson.
Wolf: Uh…*checks bounty* could you close your eyes while I sign this? I get signing fright.
Homer: No way. Me too! *closes eyes* Especially when I have to sign a parking ticket. You wouldn’t believe how many of those I have.
Wolf: *tries to cuff Homer* By the power vested in me by my online degree from the Jiffy Stop School of Bounty Hunting, I hereby pronounce you under citizen’s arrest!
Homer: AAAAAHHH!
Wolf: *runs after Homer* Leather pants are cool, but not good for running!
Make Homer Run for It– 4hrs
Make Wiggum Chase Slowly, From a Distance- 4hrs
Collect (tap) Escaped Convicts- x15
Collect Handcuffs- x125.
Wolf: *panting* I’ve never seen a guy that out of shape run so fast. He’s like an even rounder Sonic the Hedgehog.
Wiggum: *chuckles* More like Sonic the Pudgehog. Lou, did you hear what I said? I said “more like Sonic the Pudgehog”.
Lou: Solid wisecrack, Chief.
Wiggum: That’s why they pay me the big bucks.
Bounty of Bounties Pt. 2
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Homer: Wolf said the bounty on me was a lot of money. I should turn myself in and collect that dough myself! Wait a minute…no, that all tracks.
Lisa: You’ll need a license to be able to collect the bounty.
Homer: Let’s just see what the internet has to say about that. *tries to use internet* Lisa, can you see what the internet has to say about that?
Lisa: It says you need to complete a two-hour online course.
Homer: That’s certainly one way I could get the license.
Lisa: What’s the other?
Homer: I was hoping you’d come up with that. Can’t we just cut to a montage of you helping me study, where at first I’m frustrated but then with a little elbow grease, I dig in and finish the course?
Lisa: Dad, you can’t solve everything with a montage.
Homer: Tell that to every movie from the ’80s.
Make Homer Barely Pass the Bounty Hunter Test– 4hrs
Make Lisa Lament the State of the Justice System- 4hrs
Collect (tap) Escaped Convicts- x15
Collect Handcuffs- x150.
Judge JT: Am I to understand that you’ve turned yourself in and collected your own bounty?
Homer: Yes, your honor.
Judge JT: And now you want to use that money to pay off your fines?
Homer: Yes, your honor.
Judge JT: That is the most egregious abuse of the justice system I’ve seen in all my years. I’m fining you for contempt of court.
Homer: Great. I’ll turn myself in for that too and pay the fine with the bounty.
Judge JT: D’oh!
Bounty of Bounties Pt. 3
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Wolf: Well, if it isn’t Homer J. Simpson. Smooth move turning yourself in for the bounty.
Homer: That’s why they call me Smooth Moves Simpson.
Wolf: Really, they call you that?
Homer: No, but I’m trying to get it going, so if you could start calling me that…
Wolf: I hear you’ve caught a few of those escapees already, too. Maybe we should make this a friendly competition?
Homer: A chance to beat Wolf the Bounty Hunter at his own game? I’m in!
Wolf: You’ll never win, but it’s cute you think you have a chance.
Homer: Hey, there’s an escapee right over there!
Wolf: Where!?
Homer: *running away* So long, sucker! Now I’ve got a head start.
Wolf: You win this round, Smooth Moves.
Make Homer Compete for Bounties– 4hrs
Make Wolf Compete for Bounties- 4hrs
Collect (tap) Escaped Convicts- x15
Collect Handcuffs- x150. 4hrs.
Wolf: Alright, Homer, it appears the competition is tied and there are only a few escapees left.
Homer: Yes, sir. I’d say we’ve definitely taken a bite out of crime. Mmm… Crime.
Wolf: Well, your signature Donut-On-A-String capturing method was impressive.
Homer: It may have worked a little too well. I kept falling for it myself.
Bounty of Bounties Pt. 4
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Wolf: Great job, Homer. We bagged a crap ton of convicts.
Homer: Bounty hunting sure makes me thirsty. What say we ditch the cuffs and get with the Duffs?
Wolf: Would love to. But it looks like one last warrant just came in…for Marge Simpson.
Homer: Uh-oh.
Wolf: Friend of yours?
Homer: Not at all. She’s my wife.
Wolf: Well, according to this she was harboring a fugitive.
Homer: It was me, and I’m not a fugitive anymore. Come on, Wolfie, can’t we just let this one go?
Wolf: Homer, I’m a bounty hunter, not a bounty let go-er. But people in our line of work stick to the code, and our code says that you let a fellow bounty hunter arrest his own wife.
Homer: Thanks, Wolfie. Gotta love codes.
Make Homer Find Marge– 4hrs
Make Wolf Check the Latest Bounties- 4hrs (only applies if you purchased Wolf)
Collect (tap) Escaped Convicts- x15
Collect Handcuffs- x125. 4hrs.
Marge: What are you doing with that cartoonishly large sack of cash?
Homer: Do you trust me, Marge?
Marge: Statistically speaking, I really shouldn’t. But you do always manage to redeem yourself… Okay, I trust you Homie.
Homer: Good, because you’re under arrest. *cuffs her* You have the right to remain annoyed at me.
Bounty of Bounties Pt. 5
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Marge: I can’t believe how quickly the Judge dismissed my case. Bart’s studied for exams longer than that.
Homer: Well, I showed the Judge security footage proving I was never actually home while I had a warrant out because I was drinking at Moe’s all day.
Wolf: So technically, you didn’t harbor him.
Marge: Wow Homer, I always knew one day your binge drinking would pay off.
Homer: Me too, Marge. Me too.
Make Marge Worry About Homer’s Liver- 4hrs
Make Wolf Respect Homer’s Smooth Moves- 4hrs
Collect (tap) Escaped Convicts- x15
Collect Handcuffs- x125. 4hrs.
Gonna Need a Faster Boat
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Marge: It sure was nice of Chief Wiggum to lend you his police boat. There’s nothing like a romantic sunset cruise with your husband.
Homer: And his bounty hunter friend.
Wolf: Sorry, am I a third wheel?
Marge: No, it’s fine. We’re happy to have you along.
Homer: Also, Wiggum didn’t exactly lend me this boat. Technically speaking, this is what they call joyriding. Woo-hoo!
Wolf: I guess that explains the bounty on you that just came in.
Marge: *gasp* Are you gonna arrest him?
Wolf: Eh, I have no jurisdiction in international waters.
Homer: I’ll just turn myself in when we get back and collect the reward. This is really getting lucrative!
And there you have it my friends, the full dialogue for Breakout Bounty! Thoughts on the mini-event? Dialogue? Favorite prize on the prize track? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!
