THOH XXXII Premium Dialogue: Sentient Lard Lad Statue

Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!

Murky water, trees have changed colors, and leaves are blowing in Springfield, that can only mean one thing…the annual Treehouse of Horror update is upon us!  Of course, an all-new event means all-new premium content in our stores, just tempting us to drop those pink sprinkles!

Act 4 of this event has ushered in one new premium character to help navigate through the event to defeat the dinos.  Sentient Lard Lad Statue is an all-new premium character for Springfield, who will not only help earn event currency but also comes with a questline.

So let’s take a look at the questline for Sentient Lard Lad Statue, here’s the full dialogue questlines for Absolutely Crushing It…


More details on Sentient Lard Lad Statue can be found here

Absolutely Crushing It Pt. 1
Sentient Lard Lad starts

Judge JT Winchester: Sentient Lard Lad, do you acknowledge that you are of sound mind for these court proceedings?
Sentient Lard Lad Statue: My head is hollow. I have no mind.
Judge JT Winchester: I’ve given the oath to worse. We shall proceed. Based on the destruction you caused around Springfield, I sentence you to one hundred hours of community service.
Helen Lovejoy: *gasp* Community service? That’s it?! He crushed my front porch!
Skinner: He crushed my car!
Kearney: He crushed my grandmother!
Judge JT Winchester: Duly noted. But there are no prisons large enough to hold Lard Lad, so community service will have to do.
Make Sentient Lard Lad Statue Do Community Service- 4hrs
Make Springfielders Be Outraged- x5. 4hrs

Absolutely Crushing It Pt. 2
Sentient Lard Lad starts

Sentient Lard Lad Statue: How did I end up out here on the side of the road picking up trash?
Bob Terwilliger: First time in community service, eh?
Sentient Lard Lad Statue: Is it that obvious?
Bob Terwilliger: I’ll show you the ropes.
Sentient Lard Lad Statue: That would be great, thanks.
Bob Terwilliger: Here are the ropes. Now use them to tie the trash bags together.
Make Sideshow Bob Show Lard Lad the Ropes- 4hrs
Make Sentient Lard Lad Statue Learn the Ropes- 4hrs

Absolutely Crushing It Pt. 3
Sentient Lard Lad starts

Bob Terwilliger: It’s time for lunch, chum.
Sentient Lard Lad Statue: I don’t eat lunch. I’m a statue.
Bob Terwilliger: That’s what the non-statues want you to think.
Sentient Lard Lad Statue: But I have a hollow head.
Bob Terwilliger: You see a hollow head, I see a storage facility for hundreds of lunches.
Sentient Lard Lad Statue: Okay, I’ll eat!
Bob Terwilliger: Just stay away from my lunch.
Make Sentient Lard Lad Statue Eat Donuts- 4hrs
Make Sideshow Bob Hoard His Lunch- 4hrs
Bob Terwilliger: All you had for lunch were donuts?
Sentient Lard Lad Statue: Donuts are kinda my thing.
Bob Terwilliger: I could make them my thing too.
Sentient Lard Lad Statue: No.

Absolutely Crushing It Pt. 4
Sentient Lard Lad starts

Sentient Lard Lad Statue: Ugh, how much time do I have left on my community service?
Bob Terwilliger: How many hours were you assigned?
Sentient Lard Lad Statue: One hundred.
Bob Terwilliger: So far you’ve mostly been on a lunch break so…ninety-nine and a half hours to go.
Sentient Lard Lad Statue: Gaaahhhh!!!!!
Make Sentient Lard Lad Statue Go on a Rampage- 12hrs
Make Sideshow Bob Enjoy the Show- 8hrs
Judge JT Winchester: What did he crush this time?
Blue Haired Lawyer: “Crush” is a strong word, your honor. My client will concede to “squish”.
Judge JT Winchester: Very well. What did he squish?
Sentient Lard Lad Statue: Your honor, it’s beneath the dignity of this court to inquire as to what or who I may or may not have squished.
Judge JT Winchester: You squished a “who”?
Blue Haired Lawyer: Your honor since there is no prosecution present, given they’ve all been squished, I ask that this case be dismissed.
Judge JT Winchester: Ah, our “who” was the prosecution. Very well. Case dismissed.


And that’s it my friends, the full story behind Sentient Lard Lad!

Thoughts on the event so far?  Have you purchased Sentient Lard Lad? Thoughts on the dialogue? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!

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