Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
As we prepare the Treehouse of Horror XXXII event to end on Wednesday, it’s time to wrap up the whole thing up with a pretty little bow…in the form of the hilarious dialogue!
So here’s a look at the full dialogue for the exciting conclusion of the event, Better Fighting Through Science…just in case you missed it by tapping too fast…
Better Fighting Through Science Pt. 1
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Lisa: Mad science has failed and dinosaurs are still terrorizing our town. Can we please try some real science for a change?
Frink: Lisa is correct. Real science is cool…well, not cool but it’s worth a try!
Quimby: What sort of real science are we talking about?
Lisa: We can engineer a retrovirus that would—
Frink: Oo, lasers! Lime green lasers!
Homer: *chants* LASERS! LASERS! LASERS!
Quimby: Lasers it is!
Collect Dinosaurs- x15
Make Lisa Make a Plea for Compassionate Science– 2hrs
Make Frink Suggest Lasers – 2hrs
Make Homer Chant “LASERS! LASERS!”– 2hrs
Collect Syringes- x155.
Lenny: Where do we get a laser big enough to barbecue dinosaurs?
Frink: You know the peace beacon atop City Hall — the symbol of hope for all mankind? It also transforms into a giant, deadly laser.
Lisa: So we’re just going to blast dinosaurs with a peace laser?
Frink: Great glayvin, no! That would be inhumane. I’ve retrofit it with experimental technology that we can aim at the city’s advertising mascots to make them sentient so THEY can do the dinosaur killing.
Lisa: *sigh* And we’re back to mad science.
Better Fighting Through Science Pt. 2
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Quimby: When do we get to see fighting from these robot… signs… whatever they are?
Frink: I’m having a problem adjusting the anti-photonic—
Quimby: Blah-blibbity-blah! Just make it work!
Hank Scorpio: Maybe I could be of some assistance. I dabble in experimental technologies.
Lisa: Hank Scorpio? But you’re an actual supervillain!
Hank Scorpio: You think I’m super? You flatter me.
Geriatric Park Burns: Scorpio was part of the team that made the dinosaur hybrids in the first place. I’m sure his insights will prove useful.
Lisa: Great, let’s trust the people who got us into this mess to get us out of this mess.
Geriatric Park Burns: You heard the eight-year old! Continue with the sciencing, gentlemen. We’re all counting on you!
Homer: *moans* I really wanted to see dinosaurs get zapped with lasers.
Collect Dinosaurs- x15
Make Frink Bring Advertising Signs to Life– 4hrs
Make Hank Scorpio Help Bring Advertising Signs to Life– 4hrs
Make Sentient Lard Lad Statue Agree to Fight Dinos– 4hrs
Make Homer Be Disappointed the Dinos Won’t Be Zapped– 4hrs
Collect Syringes- x115.
Sentient Lard Lad Statue: *groans* Finally I can stretch. This donut weighs a ton. And who holds a donut over their head like this anyway?
Quimby: Wow! You’re very large and complain-y. Has anyone explained the situation to you and your fellow advertising signs?
Sentient Lard Lad Statue: Something about fighting rampaging dinosaurs?
Quimby: Exactly. Are you up for it?
Sentient Lard Lad Statue: Eh, why not. Beats just standing around smiling.
Better Fighting Through Science Pt. 3
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Sentient Lard Lad Statue: Attention dinosaurs! Prepare for total destruction! Your bones will be ground into donut flour that we take back to Geriatric Park.
Grampasaurus: Eh, you guys are too powerful for us to fight, so we’re not gonna.
Raptor: Rwaaark?
Sentient Lard Lad Statue: You’re not?
Grampasaurus: No. When this is all over, you’ll just freeze up as thirty-foot tall advertising mascots again anyway.
Sentient Lard Lad Statue: I don’t want to go back! I was hoping to become a dentist.
Sentient Red Devil Realty Sign: And I’ve always dreamed of dairy farming.
Grampasaurus: Don’t kid yourselves. Once they don’t need you to fight us anymore, you’ll return to standing in front of their stupid buildings.
Frink: That’s not true! We’ve a plan to repurpose you as mascots for local sports teams. How’s the Fighting Lady Lardlads sound?
Sentient Lard Lad Statue: That sounds horrible!
Sentient Red Devil Realty Sign: Weird old dinosaur guy is right. Humans suck brimstone and blow fire!
Collect Dinosaurs- x15
Make Grampasaurus Recruit Giant Signs– 2hrs
Make Sentient Lard Lad Statue Switch Sides and Rampage– 2hrs
Make Frink Be Surprised– 2hrs
Make Lisa Be Surprised Anyone Is Surprised– 2hrs
Collect Syringes- x115.
Quimby: That didn’t turn out well.
Frink: It’s just so unexpected.
Homer: I wish somebody had said something to stop us.
Lisa: *sigh* They never listen.
Better Fighting Through Science Pt. 4
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Frink: Relax, everyone. I have a Plan B. I’ll reverse the bigifyer laser and shrinkinate some brave nanonauts to microscopic size. And then inject them into their leader — Grampasaurus.
Homer: Even shrunk, I might be too big.
Bart: Your fat butt has saved us from helping, Homer! They’ll have to use some other family of suckers.
Quimby: Simpsons, you’re up!
Marge: What?!
Lisa: Dad, this all sounds very strange…and probably dangerous.
Homer: Forget it, Frink! No way am I going to allow my family to—
Frink: You’ll get to pilot this cool microscopic submarine around the inside of a dinosaur.
Homer: We’re in!
Collect Dinosaurs- x15
Make Frink Activate Shrinking Ray– 4hrs
Make Simpsons Get Shrunk– x4. 4hrs
Collect Syringes- x155.
Frink: Now we take this dart gun with the bionaut ship inside and shoot Grampasaurus.
Bionaut Marge: *inside dart gun* Please don’t miss!
Quimby: No pressure. But if you fail, the dinosaurs will continue to rampage!
Lisa: *inside dart gun* Also…we may die!
Frink: Yes, that too. So, who’s got good aim?
Wiggum: Uh, well…Ralphie is better than I am.
Lou: I’m pretty good, but I got a wrist injury from repeatedly taking off my police badge and throwing it down in disgust.
Bionaut Marge: *inside dart gun* Will someone just stick us into the dinosaur!
Better Fighting Through Science Pt. 5
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Frink: Frink to Simpsons! Frink to Simpsons! Do you copy?
Homer: Breaker breaker one-nine, good buddy! This is the Radioactive Porkchop, comin’ at ya. We are wall-to-wall and treetop tall!
Lisa: Dad, we’re in a microscopic submarine, not a semi-truck in the 1970s.
Frink: Homer, what do you see in front of you?
Homer: Just miles and miles of yuck.
Frink: You’re supposed to be in the target’s brain.
Bart: I think we’re in his giant dino-butt!
Lisa: Dad, you were supposed to take a left turn back there.
Homer: There’s always a backseat nanobot driver.
Collect Dinosaurs- x15
Make Homer Get Lost Inside Grampasaurus– 4hrs
Make Bionaut Marge Navigate to the Brain– 4hrs
Make Lisa Inject Serum Into Grampasaurus’ Brain– 4hrs
Make Grampasaurus Become Compliant– 4hrs
Collect Syringes- x195.
Frink: Alright, Grampasaurus. You should be feeling compliant about now. Lead the dinosaurs back to Geriatric Park.
Grampasaurus: Yes, master. Lead…dinosaurs…back.
Frink: I did it! The serum is working! Now we need to get the Simpsons out of the dinosaur.
Quimby: How exactly do we do that?
Frink: Well, Homer does know where the butt is…
American Holiday
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Superintendant Chalmers: Burns, we want answers, and we want them now!
Homer: Yeah! After what my family went through…small AND large intestines, they better be good answers. *shudder*
Quimby: Relax. Mr. Burns and I are teaming up to offer everyone a free hotel stay at Geriatric Park.
Burns: It’s part of our new “Free Weekends If You Went Through A Dinosaur” program.
Homer: Woohoo! Inject us into something again!
Marge: No, don’t.
Make Burns Agree to Allow “Free” Resort Stays- 4hrs
Make Quimby Pay for Resort Stays With Taxes- 4hrs
Make Lisa Object to Political Hypocrisy- 4hrs
Make Springfielders Enjoy the Resort- x5. 4hrs
Make Elderly Get Bussed Back to Their Homes- x3. 4hrs
Lisa: This is just another Halloween fiasco. Now we have vampires, robots, demogorgons, dinosaurs, and giant advertising mascots roaming the streets.
Homer: I thought you liked diversity, honey?
Marge: The important thing is: we all learned a valuable lesson.
Lisa: Rich people can get away with whatever they want?
Homer: Science will destroy us all?
Bart: Lasers and dinosaurs are awesome?
Marge: I’ve really got to stop searching for “valuable lessons” in things.
And that’s it my friends, the full dialogue for Act 4 of Treehouse of Horror XXXII!
Thoughts on Act 4? Dialogue? Surprised by how the story ended? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!
