When the Bough Breaks Full Dialogue: Three’s a Crowd

Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!

As we always do when an event winds down, it’s now time to take a look at the hilarious dialogue for this event…just in case you missed it by tapping to fast.

So here’s the full dialogue for the When the Bough Breaks mini-event main questline…

The Things We Do
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Marge: Are you guys excited for a beautiful day in the park?
Lisa: Can’t. Doing a history project on Ancient Greece.
Bart: Can’t. Playing a video game set in Ancient Greece. Eat my toga, Oracle of Delphi!
Marge: Ok, then it’ll be just the three of us! Come on, Maggie!
Maggie: *excited clapping*
Marge: Come on, Santa’s Little Helper!
Santas Little Helper: *excited barking*
Marge: Wait, why is the park gated off?
Park Ranger: Sorry ma’am, Springfield Dog Park’s closed until we can find new housing for the cat lady that just moved in.
Crazy Cat Lady: *angry rambling noises*
Cat: *angry cat noises*
Santas Little Helper: *scared whimpers*
Park Ranger: But you’re in luck, a fancy new dog park just opened over in Waverly Hills.
Marge: That’s great! Thanks, Mr. Park Ranger! Wow, this Waverly Hills Dog Park is amazing — lifeguards with silent whistles only dogs can hear, professional poop picker-uppers… And there’s even automatic tennis ball launchers for fetch!
Maggie: …
Marge: I keep forgetting that you can’t talk — even now as I’m saying this to you… Oh look, Maggie, there’s your friend, Hudson…
Maggie: *happy noises*
Marge: *thinking to herself* Please be with a babysitter and not with his mom. Please be with a babysitter and not with his mom.
Courtney: Hi, Marge.
Marge: And it’s his mom…
Make Marge *sigh*– 6s
Make Maggie Smile at Hudson– 6s
Marge: So, Courtney, which one of those dogs out there is yours?
Courtney: Oh, we don’t have a dog. We’re at the dog park to scout for one that fits best with Hudson’s aura, and then sequence its DNA to make the perfect clone puppy.
Marge: Um, ok…well, do you mind if Maggie plays with Hudson in the sand pit?
Courtney: Not at all! Hudson always seems to hit it off with your Maggie.
Marge: *thinking to herself* What if I misjudged Courtney? Maybe she isn’t just an elitist, overbearing, showoff of a mom. Maybe deep down she’s also a sweet, caring—
Courtney: Aren’t those the same clothes you wore to our last playdate? I guess TJ Maxx must have had their end-of-year sale.
Marge: *thinking to herself* Nope. Courtney still sucks. By the way, this outfit is Kirkland brand from Costco — which means it’s designer quality but sold at a fraction of the cost.
Courtney: I’m pretty sure my housekeeper shops there.
Marge: So…how’s Hudson? He sure is getting big.
Courtney: That’s probably on account of the oat milk-infused Japanese wheatgrass cleanse he’s been on. Growing while maintaining your body’s pH level is super important, don’t you agree?
Marge: If it gets me through this conversation, then yes…

Three’s a Crowd Pt. 1
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Courtney: …and then they said Hudson had the highest IQ they’ve ever recorded in an astrological-based mind scan. Can you believe that, Marge?
Marge: Yeah…look at the time, our dog needs to eat his food at home, so we really have to get going. Santa’s Little Helper, let’s go!
Santas Little Helper: *sad whimper*
Marge: Come on, Maggie, play time’s over!
Maggie: *sad whimper*
Courtney: Don’t leave yet, Marge. I have a cool sculpting hot yoga class in thirty minutes and I need to kill time. You should try it, it’s cool sculpting but while doing yoga in a hot room.
Marge: Yeah, I gathered…
Courtney: Last session, I passed out in “child’s pose” and when I woke up, I had an eight-pack!
Marge: I hate Waverly Hills.
Make Marge Continue to Play Nice With Courtney– 4hrs
Make Maggie Laugh With Hudson– 4hrs
Collect Sippy Cups- x115. 4hrs.
Courtney: So, Marge, we should totally do another playdate at our house tomorrow. Hudson just loves spending time with Maggie.
Marge: Oh, we’d love to, but, uh, we can’t. Tomorrow is, um, Maggie’s…origami yoga dance class. Yeah, that’s a real thing I didn’t just make up.
Maggie: *sad noise*
Marge: Maggie, give me a break here. You don’t know what I had to sit through while you played with Hudson.
Maggie: *even sadder noise*
Marge: Fine, fine. We’ll do another playdate…
Maggie: *happy noises*
Marge: Courtney, I just checked our schedule, and it looks like the origami yoga dance class tomorrow got canceled.
Courtney: Amazing! Should we celebrate with some Botox shots?
Marge: Oh… I just had some this morning, you go ahead.
Courtney: Your loss! *injects Botox*

Three’s a Crowd Pt. 2
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Marge: Homer! I need to pick up snacks for Maggie’s playdate. Can you watch her for a bit?
Homer: Ooh, snacks! Pick me up some sour cream and onion chips while you’re there. Oh, and some of those chocolate ice cream tacos I love.
Marge: I’m not going to a normal grocery store. I have to go to the fancy baby food store in Waverly Hills.
Homer: How fancy? Whole-Foods-before-Amazon-bought-it fancy? Or Virgin-Airlines-before-Alaska-Airlines-bought-it fancy?
Marge: Homer, it’s not adult food. It’s organic food for babies.
Homer: Food is food, Marge. Just get me whatever looks the best.
Marge: Everything there is either apple sauce or pureed vegetables.
Homer: I like apple sauce. Get me that and skip the vegetables.
Make Marge Go Shopping 4hrs
Make Homer Watch Maggie– 4hrs
Collect Sippy Cups- x155. 4hrs.
Homer: So, uh, Maggie, what do you usually get up to while Daddy isn’t around?
Maggie: *points to toys*
Homer: Oh, you play with these little toys? Okay, let’s see what we’ve got here…Ooh, an army action figure! Want to play soldier?
Maggie: *shakes her head and points again*
Homer: Ah, the teacup is what you want? Does that mean you want to have a tea party?
Maggie: *nods her head “yes”*
Homer: Fine. But instead of tea, Daddy’s going to drink beer.
Maggie: *nods her head again*
Homer: You always were my favorite.

Three’s a Crowd Pt. 3
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Homer: So then I told Barney, “You want your precious keys? Well, if you can beat me at darts, they’re yours”.
Maggie: *chuckles*
Marge: Homer? I’m back from the store. How was everything with Maggie?
Homer: *belches* Tea time was tea-utiful…
Marge: *sigh* Homer, when I say, “watch Maggie”, that doesn’t mean you’re supposed to get drunk with the baby.
Homer: Look, Marge. I don’t know who spiked the tea. Probably Edwin over there. Come on, Edwin, admit it.
Marge: Edwin is a stuffed giraffe! Okay, Maggie, let’s hustle. It’s almost time for your playdate with Hudson. Homer, can you let the dog out while I’m gone?
Homer: *snoring*
Lisa: Don’t worry, Mom. I’ll take care of the dog. And Dad.
Make Marge Drive to Hudson’s House– 4hrs
Make Maggie Go to Hudson’s House– 4hrs
Make Lisa Let the Dog Out– 4hrs
Make Homer Sleep on the Floor– 4hrs
Collect Sippy Cups- x115. 4hrs.
Courtney: Marge, so glad you could make it.
Marge: Thanks for having us. I brought some baby food for the little ones.
Courtney: Wait, is that store-bought baby food?
Marge: Yes. But don’t worry, I got them at the fancy baby food store in Waverly Hills. See, only single ingredients! For example, these pureed carrots only contain carrots.
Courtney: Marge, Hudson only eats food grown in our own vegetable garden.
Marge: You grow your own baby food?
Courtney: Of course we grow our own baby food. Do you not do that, Marge?
Marge: No!
Courtney: Well, I’m sure you at least have a professional puree-ologist to puree the food on-site.
Marge: Really?
Courtney: Look Marge, I’m just being a responsible mother. *throws Marge’s food away* I can’t let this food contaminate our kitchen. Now, care for a mimosa made from our Valencia orange tree?
Marge: I’ll take three.

Three’s a Crowd Pt. 4
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Courtney: C’mon, Maggie, let me show you to the play area. Hudson, look who came to play with you!
Hudson: *waves to Maggie*
Courtney: And here’s Gerald. He’ll be joining us today as well.
Baby Gerald: *slitting throat gesture*
Marge: Wait, there are other kids here? I thought this was a one-on-one playdate.
Courtney: No, silly. One-on-ones are out. All the leading yoga moms say group playdates are much more stimulating for your child. Anyway, Gerald’s mom dropped him off just before you got here.
Marge: Wait, dropping off was an option?!
Make Marge Regret Not Doing a Dropoff– 4hrs
Make Maggie Be Shocked at Gerald’s Presence– 4hrs
Make Hudson Introduce Maggie to Gerald– 4hrs
Make Gerald Make Threatening Gestures at Maggie– 4hrs
Collect Sippy Cups- x155. 4hrs.
Hudson: *introduces Gerald*
Maggie: *rolls eyes to convey she’s already met Gerald*
Baby Gerald: *makes a threatening gesture at Maggie*
Courtney: Aww, look, they’re already getting along. Babies are so cute before they can speak.
Marge: I always wonder what adorable things they’re communicating to each other.
Baby Gerald: *picks up a lead toy to attack Maggie*
Hudson: *motions for Maggie to step behind him*
Baby Gerald: *motions Hudson to step aside*
Hudson: *shakes his head to imply Maggie belongs to him*
Maggie: *shakes her head in disbelief* *stands tall to affirm she doesn’t belong to anyone*
Courtney: Wow, they all love each other so much!

Three’s a Crowd Pt. 5
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Hudson: *motions for Maggie to come over to him*
Baby Gerald: *motions for Maggie to come over to him*
Maggie: *shakes her head indicating she’s had enough of them both* *waves goodbye to Hudson* *starts crying*
Marge: Sounds like Maggie is crying. I better go check her diaper.
Make Maggie Leave Hudson– 4hrs
Make Hudson Regret His Words– 4hrs
Make Gerald Play by Himself– 4hrs
Collect Sippy Cups- x195. 4hrs.
Marge: Thanks for having us, Courtney, but it’s time we got going.
Courtney: You’re not staying? We were just about to start singing nursery rhymes with the kids.
Marge: Aww, that’s sweet. What kind of nursery rhymes do you sing?
Courtney: We only sing K-pop classics translated to High Valyrian — it’s a language from “Game of Thrones”.
Marge: Um, okay. Maggie and I are leaving. Bye!
Courtney: Geros ilas! That’s “goodbye” in High Valyrian!

A Storm in a Teacup

Marge: Maggie, did you have fun with your friend, Hudson?
Maggie: *shrugs*
Marge: Not sure, huh? Yeah, boys can be tricky. Sometimes you just never know where you stand with them.
Maggie: *sighs*
Marge: Sometimes it seems like they never think of you at all, and they only want to drink beer and fall asleep on the couch.
Homer: *snoring*
Marge: And then they start forgetting important things, like holidays or your birthday. And you say to yourself, “I deserve better than this”!
Homer: *in his sleep* You deserve better than this…
Maggie: …
Marge: Why don’t we go home and have a tea party?
Maggie: *nods her head emphatically*
Marge: And hopefully no one spikes the tea this time. *chuckles*
Maggie: *laughs*

And there you have it my friends, the full dialogue for the When the Bough Breaks mini-event!

Final thoughts on the event?  Dialogue? Which prize was your favorite?  What do you think we’ll see next?  Sound off in the comments below, you know we love hearing from you!