THOH XXXIV: Act 1 Dialog Recap

THOH 2023 splash
If you’ve been zapping through your tapping and it’s all been a bit of a blur or if you just fancied a reminder of what the writers got up to this time you’re in luck.
Here’s all the dialog and tasks for this act …

In this post:
• Intro: Encounters of the Not-Very-Spooky Kind
• Prize-track: The Horror Happening parts 1 to 5

Intro: Encounters of the Not-Very-Spooky Kind

Homer: Halloween is right around the corner, and you know what THAT means!
Marge: You’re going to eat the kids’ trick-or-treat candy?
Homer: Besides my Kit Kat kidnapping, something crazier is going to happen!
Ned: Homer’s right. We’ll be overrun by pint-size ghosts, sexy pirates, bindle-toting hobos…all sorts of Beelzebub-buffoonery!
Devil Flanders: Did someone call me?
Helen Lovejoy: Pumpkins will be smashed!
Wiggum: Eggs will be smashed.
Barney: Barneys’ll be smashed.
Homer: A hellacious world of possibilities!
Lovejoy: Does this discussion need to interrupt my sermon?!
Frink: Or interrupt scientific discoveries like my new Deep Space Social Media Transmitter?
Bart: Ugh! Church chittering and now science yakking?!
Lisa: I think it sounds fascinating. Imagine using Flutter to be able to make social media friends with aliens from deep space!
Bart: What’s that…pen pals from beyond Pluto?
Lisa: Oh no! I’ve piqued Bart’s mayhem muscle.
Bart: Mayhem’s my thing, or whatever weirdness Homer ends up doing.
Lisa: *sigh* I guess I’m with you.

• Make Rev. Lovejoy Try to Finish His Sermon – 6 seconds
• Make Springfielders Try to Guess What’s Gonna Happen – x 5, 6 seconds
• Make Frink Try to Get Attention for His Experiment – 6 seconds
• Make Bart Use Frink’s Transmitter – 6 seconds
• Make Lisa Reluctantly Help Bart – 6 seconds

Frink: Great glayvin! What are kids doing in my laboratory?!
Bart: Sending a Flutter friend invite to the Ki-Ya Karate Monsters on Planet Ki-Ya.
Frink: This is highly sensitive scientific equipment. Not for jelly-fingered tikes like you.
Lisa: Sorry. Bart, we should go. Bart?
Bart: In a sec. Just sending some dank memes that rank all the Karate Monsters below the Marble Cinematronic Universe heroes in a really obviously wrong order.
Bart: And if they’ve got a problem, they can come to Springfield!
Frink: Huh-guh! You’ve potentially launched events of horrible wrongness!
Bart: That’s why this Halloween is going to be awesome!
Lisa: And they call Professor Frink a mad scientist.
Frink: They do?

Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP


Prize Track: The Horror Happening parts 1 to 5

The Horror Happening, part 1:
● Xylem and Pod Patch Bundle (Character and Decoration) if you don’t already have them, or Mystery Box Token if you do.
Xylem Pod Patch Mystery Box Token
Xylemite_1: Grrrogg! Someone sent us a meme ranking Marble Cinematronic Universe heroes and it’s totally wrong!
Xylemite_2: Airshot is ranked first and Magnesium Man is eighth?! What kind of edgelord idiot does that?!
Xylemite_1: And who’s in the background of this screenshot from the movie?
Xylemite_1: Is that Xylem?
Xylemite_2: “Xylem” is the name of our planet, our species, and our leader who disappeared a few years ago.
Xylemite_1: We’re not very good at coming up with names for stuff.
Xylemite_1: Our missing leader looks like he was a background extra.
Xylemite_2: Low pay but access to the craft services snacks.
Xylemite_1: Snack time is over. Fire up the teleporters, we’re going to this “Springfield” to get our leader back!
Xylem: Ah, tree sap.
Lisa: Hey, Xylem, what’s wrong?
Xylem: Since all plants are psychically connected, my roots sense my subjects on Xylem are coming to get me.
Lisa: Maybe hiding as a background extra in that Marble superhero movie was a bad move.

• Collect Alien Fruits – x 115
• Make Lisa Consider Ethics of Eating Psychic Veggies – 4 hours
• Make Xylem Try to Disguise Himself – 4 hours

Xylem: *snooty laugh* I am zee famous French director, Pierre Le Plant. Who ees zis “Xylem” of whom you speak?
Lisa: Yeah, that’ll fool ’em.

Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP

The Horror Happening, part 2:
● Alien Portal Device (Decoration)
Alien Portal Device
Xylemite_1: Hey Xylem, what’s with the beret?
Xylem: “Xylem”? Je ne connais pas ce Xylem dont tu parles.
Xylemite_2: Knock it off, Boss. We know it’s you.
Xylem: Damn. There go hours of online classes with Rosetta Stone.
Homer: Hey, why are you creeps hassling that poor French guy?
Xylemite_1: He’s not French, he’s our leader, Xylem, and we’re taking him back to Xylem.
Homer: Taking Xylem back to Xylem? I’m confused.
Xylem: Does someone want to explain the name thing to this guy? I can’t do it anymore.

• Collect Alien Fruits – x 155
• Make Xylem Explain the Whole Name Thing – 4 hours
• Make Homer Make Fun of Alien Plant Weirdos – 4 hours

Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP

The Horror Happening, part 3:
● Alien Pod Field (Decoration)
Alien Pod Field
Xylemite_1: Xylem, why have you been hiding out here?
Xylem: A lot of reasons. Mostly they have these treats called “donuts” that are amazing.
Xylemite_2: Why don’t we just crush these primitive earthlings and take all the donuts we want?
Xylemite_1: Seriously. How hard could it be?
Wiggum: Here we go again. We are NOT having another Halloween ruined by dinosaurs or alien invasions or whatever this nonsense is.
Homer: Yeah! We want ghosts or real monsters — something that’s actually scary!
Xylemite_2: But we’re sentient alien plant invaders. It doesn’t get more horrifying.
Homer: I’ve picked scarier vegetables out of my teeth after dinner.
Marge: Don’t lie to them, Homer. You don’t eat vegetables, and you know it.

• Collect Alien Fruits – x 155
• Make Springfielders Criticize Aliens – x 5, 4 hours
• Make Xylem Get Fed Up – 4 hours
• Make Lisa Tell Bart She Told Him So – 4 hours
• Make Bart Hate Boring Halloweens – 4 hours

Xylem: Okay, that’s enough. You guys want something scary and monstrous? Wish granted!
Lisa: Happy now, Bart?
Bart: Eh, what’s the worst a bunch of plant guys can do? Force us to water them?

Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP

The Horror Happening, part 4:
● Alien Flora Bundle (Decorations bundle)
Inc. Alien Bush, Alien Flowers ( 3 kinds ) and Alien Trees ( 3 kinds )

Wiggum: Alright, herb-a-bores. Tell me how you’re going to conquer Springfield before I let Otto smoke you.
Xylem: We won’t fight. Instead, we’ve animated the most powerful of your local flora to do it for us.
Mighty Oak Leader: Behold! I am the mighty oak!
Homer: You’ve got a squirrel on your branch.
Mighty Oak Leader: Get-it-off-get-it-off!
Homer: “How the mighty have fallen.”

• Collect Alien Fruits – x 155
• Make Xylem Animate More Trees – 4 hours
• Make Mighty Oak Leader Stretch His Branches Menacingly – 4 hours
• Make Bart Laugh at Trees – 4 hours

Bart: Trees?! That’s your army? You know we have chainsaws, right?
Xylem: They are no match for us. Mighty Oak, squash these guys!
Mighty Oak Leader: I’m on ’em, Boss! *steps on Xylemite*
Xylem: Not us, you idiot! The humans!
Mighty Oak Leader: Clearer directives would help.

Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP

The Horror Happening, part 5:
● Monster Treehouse (Skin for Bart’s Treehouse)
Monster Treehouse
Xylem: Now please explain how are we going to conquer—
Mighty Oak Leader: Shut your knot hole.
Xylem: *gasps*
Mighty Oak Leader: Everyone stop talking, laughing, and running around.
Bart: This is turning out to be the most boring Halloween ever.
Mighty Oak Leader: You’ll all remain perfectly still, or you’ll get stomped.
Homer: Now that we’re not allowed to move, I really need to go to the bathroom!

• Collect Alien Fruits – x 195
• Make Xylem Be Disappointed In Trees – 4 hours
• Make Mighty Oak Leader Make Everyone Be Still – 4 hours
• Make Homer Fidget – 4 hours
• Make Bart Wish Karate Monsters Would Show Up – 4 hours

Kung Fu Werewolf: Hey Taekwon Drac, look at this crazy meme ranking heroes in the Marble Cinematronic Universe.
Taekwon Dracula: I don’t wanna see any stupid rankings.
Kung Fu Werewolf: They have you twelve spots lower than Airshot.
Taekwon Dracula: What?! Gimme that!
Taekwon Dracula: Where was this sent from?
Kung Fu Werewolf: Someplace on Earth called “Springfield”.
Taekwon Dracula: Gather the rest of the monsters. We’re going to this Springfield!

Reward: 200 $$s, 20 XP


That wraps up Act 1, back on Friday when Act 2 starts with the Rundown.

3 responses to “THOH XXXIV: Act 1 Dialog Recap

  1. Update did not work for me, still unable to get past the spinning donut! 😢

  2. Thank you!

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