Woo to the hoo! Monorail, monorail, monorail! I know there’s been issues for tappers with the new event but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t super stoked for all the new goodness. Of course, with a new event in our silly lil game, we get new items that you may not have a clue as to their Origin. They seem familiar, but you just can’t pinpoint from where. That’s why Team Addicts decided to make a fun lil reminder out of it. To let you know just Where did THAT Come From?
As the late, great Robin Williams best said it… (fair warning, the f bombs are masked but if profanity offends you… just skip the bold section.)
“If ya want a linguistic adventure, go drinkin’ with a Scotsman. … And only they could invent a sport like golf. Here’s my idea for a f***ing sport. I knock a ball in a gopher hole. Like pool? F*** off pool. Not with a straight stick, with a little f***ed up stick. I whack a ball, it goes in a gopher hole. Oh, you mean like croquet? F*** croquet! I put the hole hundreds of yards away. Oh, f*** of ya! Big fun, yeah! Oh, like a bowling thing? F*** no! Not straight. I put s**t in the way. Like trees and bushes and high grass. So you can lose you f***ing ball. And go hacking away with a f***ing tire iron. Whacking away, and each time you miss you feel like you’ll have a stroke. F*** that’s what we’ll call it, a stroke, cause each time you miss you feel like you’re gonna f***ing die. Oh great, oh and here’s the better part. F***, this is brilliant! Right near the end, I’ll put a little flat piece with a little flag to give you f***ing hope. But then I’ll put a little pool and a sand box, to f*** with your ball again. Ay, you’ll be there cracking you @$$, jacking away in the sand. And you do this one time? F*** no! f***ing times! That’s my idea of a sport!”
Ah golf. There’s not a lot of sports I actually enjoy being involved in but this is one of them. The Zen of a green in the wee hours of the morning, the fun of hanging with good pals and the blood-pumping frustration of a game that’s not exactly going the way you planned it when you were sober. Imagine my joy when the monorail event came and a golf course green became available. Sure it was for 100 donuts but it’s golf! Anyone who enjoys the game knows how expensive the hobby can be. In a karmic sort of way, the price made sense to me. But what does golf have to do with the Best. Show. Ever.? No surprise it’s featured in some episodes but let’s take a look at a few to see if we can connect this new decoration to the game.
“Dead Putting Society” (S2:E6)/”I Married Marge” (S3:E12)/”Natural Born Kissers” (S9:E25)
These episodes feature miniature golf (don’t you dare start calling it putt putt) and the first has a golf tournament. Mini golf can be just as fun and frustrating as hitting the links. These also feature Sir Putt-a-Lott’s Mini Golf which is cool because Bart was conceived there in a windmill. Homer and Marge have done the horizontal mambo there more than once too.
For anyone uninterested in physical activity, there’s always video games. Tiger Woods had a bunch of games (also by EA) and I have many fond memories of Arnold Palmer Tournament Golf on the Sega Genesis when I was a tiny fuzzball.
In the Simpsons, they have Lee Carvallo’s Putting Challenge in “Marge Be Not Proud” (S7:E11). There’s also a golf game on the Funtendo Zii “(a self-powered experience approximater”) in ”Million Dollar Maybe” (S21:E11).
“Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield” (S7:E14)
Marge finds a power suit while outlet shopping in Ogdenville and reconnects with a friend from high school. Her fancy sense of fashion gets our favorite family invited to the Springfield Glen Country Club. Like country clubs all over, this one also has a golf course. Sure the family drove right over one of the greens and Krusty but they did it while dressed nice. Homer takes to golf naturally once he stops stealing clubs from PGA Tour Pro Tom Kite. He’s even invited to play with his boss. To bad Burns is a dirty rotten cheater… the worst kind of golfer IMHO. Sure I’ve used a foot wedge once or twice or enjoyed winter rules but not like Monty.
There’s several shots of greens in this episode too.
“Trash of the Titans” (S9:E22)
As other items came from this episode, this would be my guess for what inspired our new green. This one shows Quimby and Trash Commissioner Homer on the golf course. I love the trash Homer allowed to be stored in the abandoned mine coming to the surface on the green.
Just for fun, I thought you might like to see that even Itchy & Scratchy play golf in “Blame it on Lisa” (S13:E15).
“Lost Verizon” (S20:E2)
Bart misses some hilarious Skinner antics because he doesn’t have a cell phone. After a stray ball from the Springfield Glen Country Club hits him in the noggin, he realizes he can make money for a cell phone by retrieving lost golf balls.
Lots of faces are members of the Glen too. Hibbert, Dr. Nick, the Rich Texan and more. Krusty even hosts a non-charity golf event there and Dennis Leary is a participant! Gotta love celebs and more shots of pretty aprons surrounding the flagstick.
Phew… lots more golf than you expected, right? Our next episode is “Take My Life, Please” (S20:E10). When Homer is trying to find out why Principal Dondelinger didn’t let him win class president in high school, he finds him at the Golf ‘N’ Die Retirement Village. So now we know there’s more than one golf course in Springfield. Just saying… this one seems like a place I want my kids to abandon me at in my golden years.
The last golf episode I’ll subject you to is “Judge Me Tender” (S21:E23). When Moe closes his bar to be a reality TV judge, Marge isn’t thrilled with all of the free time Homer suddenly has. She convinces him to take up golf after Grampa suggests it to pass the time. Only problem is she might not get him back. Sounds like a complaint of my ex lol. Marge takes Homer to the Springfield Municipal Golf Course (our third set of links if you’re counting), but stops him before he can take the first shot and be hooked for life after an old-timer warns her of things he has missed because of golf. Marge decides her hubby can start the habit in 40 years. For now Homer will just be the Tiger Woods of the sack. That joke makes me laugh because this episode came out before that started meaning something else completely.
So there you go. Lots of greens. Lots of golf. Life is good. Sorry for the long post on a sport you may or may not love but all I can say in my defense is I’m an Air Force Veteran. You know we build our bases around where the best land for golf courses is. What do you think of the premium decoration? Enjoy golf like me. Wanna go a round? Sound off and happy tapping friends. See you on the green! I’ll leave you with some words of wisdom from Caddyshack.
“There’s a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.”
TTFN… Wookiee out!