Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
The Thanksgiving Event hit our devices recently and a fun little event rolled out with it. Like all events, a questline was rolled out with it to help guide you through the event. While we’ve had the Turbo Tappin’ version of the questline up since the event hit, we know some of you like taking a look at the full dialogue version just in case you missed something as it was popping up in your game.
So let’s take a look at the full dialogue version of the Thanksgiving 2015 questline….
Homer: Lisa! A scary tiny dinosaur has escaped from the Springfield Jurassic Funstation.
Lisa: I’ve told you a million times, Dad, “The Jurassic Funstation” is something you made up entirely in your head.
Homer: You’re the one who told me that dinosaurs are feathered, scaly bipeds. So what’s that?
Lisa: A turkey.
Tap Turkey- x1. Tap a roaming Turkey in your Town
Homer: Aah! It turned into a drumstick.
Cecil: It’s the latest fantastic breakthrough from Monsarno labs! A turkey that turns itself into edible parts. Like all our riskiest genetic modifications, it immediately escaped into the wild.
Lisa: It’s an environmental catastrophe! What if they breed with wild turkeys?
Homer: … problem solved.
Turkey Talk Too
Bart: Whoa, Dad, you pulled out the deep fryer. Did the doctor warn you that your arteries might be de-plaquing?
Homer: Deep-frying is the best way to cook turkey. And potatoes. And twinkies. In fact, it’s the best way to cook everything but pork chops. There is no wrong way to cook pork chops.
Make Homer Deep Fry and Eat Turkey- 6s. Earns 2
Homer: Mmm, deep fried deliciousness. The only way a turkey should be made.
Flanders: No, you should bake it! God told us when he made Moses spend 40 years baking in the desert.
Lou: Chief, we got a mob fighting downtown. Seems they’re arguing over the best way to cook a Thanksgiving turkey.
Wiggum: I have strong opinions about that! Let’s go join in!
Lou: No, no, we’re the police. We’re supposed to stop mob fights.
Wiggum: You’re just saying that because your turkey recipe sucks.
Lou: You don’t even know my recipe. I have a great recipe!
Wiggum: That’s it. Police mob fight.
Make Springfield Adults Angrily Debate Turkey Prep- x4. 6s, Earns $35, 1xp freemium and $50, 2xp premium
Homer: Fry it!
Flanders: Bake it!
Carl: Roast It!
Lenny: Grill It!
Wiggum: Did anyone say brining?
Lou: Do you even know what brining is, Chief?
Wiggum: I know it’s something you didn’t say first. I call brining!
Quimby: Fellow citizens, we cannot let an argument about turkey preparation tear our town apart. We must save our energy for more important issues, like what are the best side dishes.
Quimby: Yes, that’s a good one. We shall determine the best turkey recipe with a fair contest — the Springfield Fowl Face-Off. Everyone will submit a turkey sample for judging.
Lisa: But who’s going to be the judge?
Quimby: Good question. We need someone independent, wise, hungry, and married.
Lisa: Why married?
Quimby: So that he’s stopped caring how fat he looks.
Make Fatsos Apply to Judge the Turkey Contest- x3. 6s, Earns $35, 1xp.
Quimby: After reviewing hundreds of applications for a turkey contest judge, I’ve chosen the man I was going to choose anyway: Homer Simpson.
Marge: Homer, please don’t be the judge of this turkey-malurkey. I had a dream where you were dying with two turkey drumsticks stuffed up your nose.
Homer: Only two? That does sound bad.
Gooble, Gobble, Toil and Trouble Pt. 1
Tribal Chief: My son, I couldn’t help overhearing. Judging this contest is a grave responsibility. I will send you on a vision quest to decide if this task is yours.
Homer: Great Tribal Chief, you are noble and true. Hand over the funky peyote and I will go on my trip… I mean “quest.”
Tribal Chief: The spirits of your ancestors will guide you. Meanwhile, I’ll have more time to work on my awesome smoked turkey recipe.
Make Homer Go on a Vision Quest- 1hr, Earns $70, 17xp
Gather Drumsticks x20- Tap Turkeys to get Drumsticks. You can also earn them by sending various characters on tasks. Ned, Marge, Apu, Quimby & the Tribal Chief can earn them. (Freemium earn 3 legs/3hrs, Premium 6 legs/3hrs) Tap Do It to see the task list.
Homer: What an amazing vision. The spirits showed me a simple path to better health, less drinking, higher income, and a richer and more fulfilling life. Anyway, back to gobbling massive amounts of turkey.
Gooble, Gobble, Toil and Trouble Pt. 2
Homer: Mmm, your smoked turkey is delicious, Tribal Chief. A definite contender.
Lisa: Dad, you’ve already tasted the turkey, why are you eating all the rest of it?
Homer: Tribal Chief told me to.
Tribal Chief: Our people believe no part of the animal should go to waste. Also, if he fills up on my turkey, maybe he won’t have room to eat and judge anyone else’s.
Bart: You don’t know much about my dad, do you?
Lisa: Oh no! He’s choking on the wishbone. Someone save him!
Tribal Chief: No, Lisa. Our people believe that when your ancestors call you to the Great Beyond, a brave warrior should go willingly. Also, if he dies after judging only my entry I win automatically.
Make Ghost Homer Give Real Homer a Heimlich- 3hrs, Earns $135, 35xp
Gather Drumsticks x80- Tap Turkeys. You’ll also unlock new characters that can earn them, the ones from part 1 will no longer be able to earn Drumsticks. Tap Do It to see the list (can send Tribal Chief, Dr. H, Wiggum, Krusty & Cletus)
Homer: Phew, thanks, Ghost Me. You always have our back.
Gooble, Gobble, Toil and Trouble Pt. 3
Cletus: How do you lak my turkey, Your Honor?
Homer: It tastes like a hillbilly.
Cletus: I soaks it in XXX white lightnin’ then cooks it in the barn so it absorbs the aroma of donkey and chicken making.
Brandine: Cletus, get yer cookin’ stuff out of the barn. Where are the kids supposed to play, do their homework, and sleep?
Quimby: The contest is going swimmingly, unlike one of my previous girlfriends. Turkeys are coming in from every Springfielder.
Homer: Then it’s time to get serious. Marge, let out my pants.
Marge: I let them out as much as I can. The sewing machine refuses to work when it sees me coming with your pants.
Homer: Then it’s time to visit the professionals.
Make Homer Visit the Vast Waistband- 7hrs, Earns $250, 60xp
Gather Drumsticks x70- Tap Turkeys. You’ll also unlock new characters that can earn them, the ones from Part 2 won’t apply to this part. Tap Do It to see the List (Can send Ned, Cletus, Comic Book Guy, Grampa and Tribal Chief)
Quimby: Clear your palate, Judge. We have another truckload of Springfielder turkey incoming.
Homer: A truckload?! This simple dinner table doesn’t give me enough range to eat as much and as fast as I need. However, I have come up with plans for a much more sophisticated device.
Lisa: It’s a circle with little food scribbles on it…
Homer: It is a three hundred and sixty degree buffet that I sit inside. I will have achieved man’s greatest dream: to have food coming at him from every direction.
Gooble, Gobble, Toil and Trouble Pt. 4
Apu: As a vegetarian, I cannot cook turkey, but I would like to submit this entry made of Kwik-E-Mart Brand Tofurkey.
Lisa: Why, Apu? Indians don’t even celebrate Thanksgiving.
Apu: No, but we are incredibly competitive. Also, I am desperate to promote Kwik-E-Mart Tofurkey, because no one on earth is buying it.
Homer: Fine, place it at position south by southwest on my buffet. That’s where the weird indie stuff goes.
Make Homer Enjoy a 360 Degree Buffet Meal- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Gather Drumsticks x100- Tap Turkeys. You’ll also unlock new characters that can earn them, the ones from Part 3 won’t apply to this part. Tap Do It to see the List (Can send Skinner, Willie, Moe, Apu & Tribal Chief)
Homer: I never thought I’d say this, but I only want to eat nine or ten more whole turkeys.
Quimby: No time to wimp out now, Judge. Another container of turkeys is coming off the ship.
Homer: Ship?! I thought this was a Springfield competition.
Quimby: Uh, there were some billionaire contributors to my campaign who demanded a chance to win.
Frink: Fret not, Homer. I have an invention that will increase your already impressive rate of gobbling by 200%. I call it the Turkey Stuffer*. The * indicates that it is not a device for placing stuffing into turkeys, but rather for stuffing turkeys into a human being. Like all true science, it is an utter abomination against God’s order.
Gooble, Gobble, Toil and Trouble Pt. 5
Homer: I never want to eat another turkey. I hate it so much. The very thought of turkey sickens me.
Quimby: The latest batch is ready for judging.
Homer: Hey, where’s that machine that helps me gobble turkeys?
Make Homer Eat Turkey at Maximum Efficiency- (uses the Turkey Stuffer) 16hrs, Earns $500, 125xp
Quimby: Homer, it’s time for you to pick the winner of the first and hopefully last ever Springfield Turkey Contest! Homer? Homer?!
Lisa: He’s asleep. He’s eaten so much tryptophan he’ll probably be out for a month.
Tribal Chief: If the judge can’t decide, the winner is the tribal chief who had his turkey eaten first. That’s me!
Quimby: I don’t recall that rule. But I hate recalls. So, like all Springfield contests, the prize goes to the person who cheated hardest.
And this point you’ll unlock King-Size Homer…and the story will continue with him.
This completes the prize track questline…that must be completed by December 1st in order to earn King-Sized Homer.
What are your thoughts on the Thanksgiving Event? Liking the prize track? How about the tasks to earn the prizes? Collecting those drumsticks? Sound off in the comments below, you know we love hearing from you!