TSTO Anonymous: Tourists… why’d it have to be Tourists

Hey howdy hey skyfingers!

With the Destination Springfield Around the World Eventcoming to a close, I figured it wasonce again time for another meeting of TSTO Anonymous. Welcome! What is TSTO Anonymous? Well, it’s our version of a support meeting (said with my tongue in my cheek) that has turned into a nice thing we do occasionally just to give folks a positive message, some silliness, or a place to commiserate. You can find previous meetings here. While these meetings don’t happen as frequently as a fuzzball would like, I can always plug the the Sunday Open Threads as fill-in sessions when I can’t think of topics or life/game stuff is too busy to hold one. Jebus knows you Addicts like to congregate and chat about all sorts of stuff. Anyhoo… it’s time to fire up the simulated coffee pot, prop the door open with a lucky red hat, and get this meeting started. Pull up a chair, grab a Wookiee cookie, and let’s get this show on the road.

TSTO Anonymous

So… the other day I was thinking about this event and smiling at the different tourists in my game infected with the Osaka flu and realizing I really like this event. It’ has been relatively grind-free, included a ton of new land (which I really didn’t need), and lots of new sschtuff that comes from solidly entertaining Simpsons episodes. What could be bad about it?

I was writing a fluff piece about my love for the event and then… I headed off to by job that pays the bills working for a mouse you may know of and was pushing buttons on a ride that has its own version of Uncle Norbert (the real awesome archaeologist) and I heard an animatronic say something chilling as I repeated safety instructions to folks who may or may not have checked their smiles and common sense at the turnstile… “Tourists… why’d it have to be tourists.”


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Periodically, we hold a support meeting of sorts where we get to vent about our games and The Simpsons or join together as a positive force for a silly little game in a big serious life. Like the pixels that make up our towns, we share a small part of our bigger picture as a collected group of Addicts. Since it’s been a while… I wondered if I could focus on tourists (the good and bad) and also just give us a funny way to think about our games.

We’re all Tourists in life, right? We’re thrust into a world designed to send us elsewhere and visiting this plane of existence until we end up on a permanent vacation somewhere else. Sure that’s existential and a pessimistic way to look at life, the universe, and everything but other than checking out and just saying “So long and thanks for all the fish.” it’s something to think about. In life, we’re all just visitors passing through. While we persevere through the joys and sadness of reality… we also get to tourist other locales and places or deal with the tourists visiting ours. In some way, most of us are even tourists to our own Springfields and indeed, the very site you’re reading these words at. Egads! So much visiting. But what kind of Tourist are you?

With that idea for a topic, I figured I’d give my thoughts on all the tourists this event gave us and just give some thoughts each one gave me. At the end, I’m curious if any of these rang a bell with y’all. What description best fits your style of touristing. This can be in life, the game, TSTO Addicts, or space-time… whatever. Just a fun way to hold a TSTO Anonymous meeting and really be silly and deal with my own stressors caused by children in rodent ears lol. Let’s get to it…

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# 1 – Visiting places is tough as evidenced by the sweat stain on your shirt. Or maybe it’s not sweat. It could be grease from a burrito or from the last cantina you visited inhabited by scum and villainy? The sun of various alien locales beats down on you and the floppy hat you brought isn’t quite holding up its end of the $1.99 bargain. At least you wore flip flops. All the better for trekking through coarse, awful sands. Let’s just hope it doesn’t rain. That meh look on your face fits right in with the contrite way you view everything. Worst. Vacation. Ever.


# 2 – Sweat stains constant companion. Location X isn’t as meh as they think it is but that’s because you planned and organized everything. There’s a bathroom on the way to the next show with singing birds and the fanny pack you brought has all the travel essentials required all while taking photographic eveidence of all the “fun” your group is having. Sure you can easily frazzled but it’s all in pursuit of maximizing the visit. If anyone gets lost, you know the meeting spot and resources available. The sun can’t beat you down… your visor defies it to.


# 3 – You’re the kind of person who not only visits a new place but immerses yourself right in like someone named Stockholm. Bring on the cheesy merch from the local vendor even if it makes you look ridiculous. Visiting is all about enjoying every different facet of the location, especially anything recommended by others. People can see how great it is by how you portray it. Even if you look like a Russkie, you are having fun and that’s what matters. Go Springfield!

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# 4 – Le sigh. The tragic beauty of this visit represents the spiraling depression of the world economy and your own inner malaise. The true beauty of anywhere is seen in its art and architecture. It’s a shame only you are worthy to adequately document it all on your travel blog. Hipster chic doesn’t define your view but it’s not far off as long as others know they can’t appreciate the certain je ne sais quoi of it all. It’s all too beautiful and sad. Life is bigger than the experience.


# 5 – Everything is better with a bottle of wine. It’s like duct tape and fixes everything. You vacation like Ceasar. Vino, vidi, vici. You take lots of pictures but only so there’s evidence of the inebriated adventure of it all. Your yoga pants made all the trekking that much easier. Your ready to brave the day with your blue blockers and as a bonus, it keeps the bloodshot results of your wine-fueled adventuring hidden. Sure you woke up a little late but there’s a whole nightlife you can enjoy that night. It’s all so to easy to enjoy a vacay. Open bottle to breathe. If it’s not breathing, give it mouth to mouth. It’s either all this or you just couldn’t afford a vacation so you drank until you didn’t remember where you lived.


# 6 – Mmmm…. foreign food. You’re the foodie of the group and will conquer every food challenge a place has to offer. Upon your return, you may not have taken the elevator to the top of building/monument X but you can regale company with the delightful glazed almonds and pizza that was right next to it. Pictures show you with a plate or beverage always near at hand. You like your vacations like you like your pizza… extra cheesy.


# 7 – You’re the sucker. The kind of Fuzzball, errrr, person who gets convinced by the smiling congenial local to take the “authentic” picture in front of a torii gate. It’s all good though because you look cool and will have funny pictures and stories to share with friends. It’s all a great sacrifice to understand the culture. Vacations are meant to be spending sprees on all the cool things to do. Your home is full of the various knick knacks from all your journeys. Like that one time you took karate lessons so your Karate Kid-inspired road trip was a more authentic experience.


# 8 – Quiet and demure. You’re the beautiful traveler. While certain people take pictures in kimonos, you immerse yourself in it all to really get what it’s like to live in the place you’re visiting. You are not so much a tourist as a lost soul finding where you truly belonged. Of utmost importance is a respect for the people and culture it is your privilege to partake in.

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# 9 Everything is awesome! This place is just like my favorite video game. Action, adventure, hadukens… wait, what do you mean I’m not visiting China? Remember that one time you went to the Middle East and it was just like that scene from the Adventurer does cool things in Asia movie? Life is action-packed and it is your joy to be a part of it. No boring vacations for you. It’s a Pow Bam Bort Blammo journey all the time. Let’s just hope the locale survives your visit to it.


# 10 – The life of the party. Rocking your banana hammock… Speedo kills… cheap thrills. It doesn’t matter where you go as long as you have a blast while doing it. Who cares what you look like? Laughter is the best medicine and you supply the punch lines for people to chuckle at. Party! Toga! Cannon ball! Sure your visiting style may be more about you than the local culture but it’s all in the pursuit of the best time possible.


# 11 – Cool Mom (or Dad). You see the hooligans partying it up and you’re along for the ride but certainly not going to get locked up if things go wrong. Fun is good provided there’s an element of moderation to keep things safe. You’re a balanced explorer. That souvenir or t-shirt might be cool provided it fits in with everything you already have. Vacations are meant to be saved for and enjoyed. It could be a town over or that big dream adventure you saved up for. You’re the respectful traveler everyone hopes will stay at the local budget hotel. You fit in while also maintaining your own wonderful self.

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# 12 – GOOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLL! It’s all about the sports, the action, the sweat. Competition is the name of the game just don’t forget the sunblock for your nose. Have you ever road tripped to enjoy a sporting event? Heck yes! Being a sports junkie is part of the experience and vacations are all about furthering your love for all things ball/puck/cardio-related. You’re the one who climbs the mountain, hikes the switch-backs, or runs the themed race. Vacations are for mental, physical, and spiritual health.

Wowza… did any of that make sense? If yes… which one most closely represents you? If no… thanks for reading and participating in me describing some people I’ve encountered during my own experiences with churros, height limits, and making the magic. It was cathartic for me. Mostly, thanks for touring this site and being part of the adventure that is TSTO Addicts. Without you, it’s just be us being silly all by ourselves. Hopefully you at least liked seeing images of all the tourists. I’m hoping a few of them can find homes in my town especially the Kimono and Floppy Hat guys.

What are your thoughts? Are you a tourist at all? What’s your favorite place to visit? Got a vacation you’d love to go on? Has the Wookiee lost his senses courtesy of essays and mid-terms? Has this event inspired you to have your own random thoughts about life? Sound off in the comments. We end this meeting as we always do with the TSTO Anonymous Serenity Prayer.

“EA, grant me the serenity to accept the updates I cannot change, the courage to recommend the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

TTFN… Wookiee out!

41 responses to “TSTO Anonymous: Tourists… why’d it have to be Tourists

  1. Not sure I find myself in any of these – more like a mixture of several. Plus, it changes with age. When I was young with too much time and too little money, I just put on my Birkenstocks and the floppy hat, threw a few things in my backpack and boarded a train / plane / automobil to anywhere but here. And if there wasn’t a cheap hostel to be found, somehow I always met someone willing to give me a place to put my sleeping bag. Saw some strange places I probably wouldn’t go to today, but also met a lot of interesting people.
    By now, I don’t have a lot of time to travel, but enough money to plan – and book – ahead. Usually more “touristy” places, visiting famous landmarks. It has become more about the places I visit, rather than the people I meet.

  2. great article. always look for the hitchhiker reference & you didn’t disappoint. I think I mostly resemble #11 – but it’s as a cool grandma. there has to be some moderation since I take my 10 year old granddaughter with me everywhere. we went ice skating & zip lining in Gatlinburg last fall. do you consider yourself a #7? the fuzzball, errr person?

  3. I’m a mix of 5 and 11, no Holliday is worth it without alcohol to ‘enhance’ the experience, maybe even create an experience! However in foreign places safety is important, maybe I’m getting older, who knows! Long term player in need of more Springfields…stuperb200 😉

  4. I guess I’m a cross between 3 and 6…a goofy foodie🤡👩‍🍳.

  5. #10: “So, there’s only one rule if you’re gonna stay at El Casa de Todd…”

  6. #3

    On the note about the event: This was by far the best one I had participated in. It got me about eight new characters without breaking my wallet. Cool animations. New tree designs (I am a big nature buff). And finally, great new buildings.

  7. Fab post 🙂
    I’m a cross between #6 and #7. I love food and am willing to try pretty much anything but I also love to take pictures everywhere especially in the ‘tourist’ areas…. there must be a reason why all the guide books say it’s a great place to go … its the real deal ☺

  8. Every time I come across a #2…err, #2 Tourist, I think she’s a nun. Her dark hair against the white visor always intially reads at a short mantle/habit. It’s kinda freaky, especially coming so soon after the religious event (Homer the Heretic)! 😃

  9. mydadlookslikeFlanders

    Hilarious, fun read. Thanks man. I’m a #7 myself

  10. Great post, Wookiee!

    I think I’m a cross between 2 and 6 (although, these days, with my disability, I’m a very limited tourist).

    But, I’m definitely a TSTO addict…too much of one, I’m afraid. Been thinking perhaps I should step away for a bit – I’m realizing lately how many other things I’ve given up for the past couple of years that I’ve been playing this game. I’d rather just cut back, because the game really does give me pleasure, but I don’t know whether I’m able to do that. Thug I would just start by taking a few days off, since I’m pretty much done with this event, but ended up doubling down on my playing time to finally get the two new strips of Springfield Heights land (and then restock).

    Maybe tomorrow will be different?

    • Well Sandra, I’ve always found your comments very sensible and helpful. To me, you’re sort of like a 5th moderator for this community with the knowledge and wisdom you offer, so I’m not surprised I like your approach. If you feel the game is taking away from other more important things in life, then I agree, take a few days off. Worst case scenario, you’ll only miss some down time between events and we’ll miss you on this site. Best case scenario, you’ll come back to the game appreciating it even more. I always think this game is best enjoyed in the terms our gracious hosts put it: “our silly lil’ game” 🙂

      I’ve always wanted to ask: are you a design person? Always assumed you are, and your self-assessment as a #2 well-organized tourist seems to reinforce my belief. It’s my favorite part of the game and the reason I still play. Anyway, my point being, designing keeps the game light and fun whenever I’m feeling burned out by an event or just regular tapping.

      PS. If you have a friend slot open, would like to see your town. I currently have one slot open and will save it for you if you’re interested.

      PPS. Sorry, Alissa, for not using the friend me page to solicit a friend 😬

      • lol i’ll allow your PPS 😉

      • That’s very sweet of you to say all of that, and glad to hear I’ve been of help!

        I do enjoy designing, and I try to make my town make “sense” (IYKWIM), but I’m not as talented as some folks here…for example, I don’t do much in the way of 3-D design.

        I’d be happy to welcome you to my neighborhood…. I’m pretty sure that I can free up a spot for you. Just let me know if your Origin ID is different from your handle here, so I’ll recognize you. Also, I may not see it tomorrow…. I’m going to see what it’s like to take almost a whole day off from the game. I even sent most of my characters on 24-hour tasks, which I pretty much never do! But I’ll probably check in tomorrow night, to reset tracks and clear my town.

        Look forward to checking out your town, too! 🙂

        • hi Sandra, 24 hour breaks is a good idea for down time. then the irs building to send everyone out again. sitting out an event is hard because there’s always something you’ll want (usually the last prize!). you’ve been one of my best neighbors for years & I always enjoy your posts. wishing you the best.

        • Cool! Yep, my handle is the same as my Origin ID (bwtayl2004). Will look for your invite! 🙂

          • Sorry, but you’ll need to attend the invite…I have 74 requests pending, so I can’t send any invitations. My Origin ID is the same as my handle here.

            • Sorry, I didn’t see this til now! Someone else friended me with a different handle than your Origin ID a couple days ago, and I thought it was you. I will send the invite to you now.

        • Ok!… invite sent to your Origin handle from bwtayl2004 🙂

          • Welcome to the neighborhoo…..hope you enjoy visiting my little burg!

            I’ll try and check out your town tomorrow – airways fun seeing what other people do with their towns.

            (BTW, there’s an empty space in my Springfield Heights right now, because I just recently earned all of the new land and got to redesign some of the stuff that I had shoved together and build up the resort a bit, both of which I’ve been wanting to do for ages, but needed more land to do. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it even left me with some buildable space, but I haven’t yet decided for sure what I’ll use it for….need to find something that works there, scale-wise and style-wise.)

            • Hey neighbor! Welcome to you as well! Sorry I am just getting back to you, I’ve been very ill the past week, too ill to tap even. So I’m glad to be back! I really like your town. Have to say I love your farm area… the cows grazing in the tall grass makes me smile every time 🙂 I’m also kind of in rebuild mode with my SH. Mine feels kind of cluttered, and it’s taken me awhile to get enough resources to buy all the land I need to spread out. And now that we have an in-game event starting today, I’ll probably put off redesign for awhile haha. Oh well, some day. Anyway, thanks again for adding me. See you around the neighborhood! 😀

              • I think you have a great town!! There were a bunch of things that I thought were really clever and/or made me smile/giggle. Unfortunately, I forgot to make note of them so I could tell you about them (i think I took the tour at a point when it was way past my bedtime). But I do remember thinking that you’re very clever! 😉

    • Hard to walk away…even for a day or two…maybe try 8 hr blocks of no electronics? I was amazed how badly I missed my virtual fix when the hurricane hit and we had no internet or electricity for 2 days…I read books and did tasks around the house, but in the evenings I went buggy! We would sure miss your comments, you are a stable voice in a whirlwind at times….

  11. This post def made me smile. 😬. The best part about being a tourist is acting like a goof and having fun and doin what a tourist does! All in good fun. Bring on the 99 cent tourist shops!

  12. Should I be worried? I used ten donuts to skip the last norbert task so I could get to the day that had his plane….I saw the plan was then available…..then suddenly it again says that more tasks are available and the plane is no longer the final prize…….,and the task says to go to north America but no tasks available have it…

    • I hope you shouldn’t be worried. It’s a problem many addicts have reported today, primarily in the comments section of the recent Norbert post by Alissa. I have the same issue: completed all the luggage tasks as of this am, then was shown the red biplane as the ultimate award only to see it soon replaced by the usual lost luggage prize track. One commenter said that when you finish off the prize track for the lost luggage you do indeed get the plane, but I have not witnessed that first hand because I’m on stage 2 of 3 of the prize track that will allegedly give me the plane. Long story short, you’re not the only one experiencing this issue and hopefully it is cleared up in the next 48 hours before the event ends. It sure would be ridiculous to play this long event that revolved around Norbert, his plane, and the golden train… only to get none of the above!

  13. Anyone else having a problem collecting pins and sky credits? My counters seem to be frozen and not registering when I tap on buildings that my friends have clicked on

  14. Wookiee that was a fantastic funny read!

    I’m most certainly a mix of no.5 and no.10
    😀 😀 😀

  15. Loved your Hitchhiker’s references. But you forgot Don’t Panic! Which is really the point of any vacation…or TSTO event.

    So be a froopy drood and grab your towel and pair of JuJanax 2000 peril sensitive sunglasses for your visit to Wonko the Sane or the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

  16. Can’t really relate to any of these types, but if I had to pick one I’d go for #5. Except I don’t take pictures. But I do make field recordings occasionally.

  17. I don’t know which one I am, but this was a really funny roller coaster of a post!!! 😂 Nicely done, Wookiee!

  18. That_One_Dude

    What happens after the event ends? Is EA going to immediately release a new event? And if so what would it be about?

  19. Josephine Kick@$$

    Couldn’t pick just one. I like to take pictures, buy souvenirs, sample the local cuisine, visit the landmarks, dress touristy 😂, & just explore 😊

  20. That was an awesome post! Thanks, Wookiee 🙂

    • I forgot to say that I am a mix of #2 and #6. I love to take photos and I love local foods. I also love taking photos of local foods. 🙂

  21. That gaggle of tourist talk gave me a giggle, I’m an #8 and my other half is definitely a #9. Everything is wow, just WOW!!!

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