Friday Filler – The Final Word on Donut Farming…Nooooooooooooooo!

Thank Grog It’s Firday!!

Before any of you start lining up your pea shooters to cover me with spitwads from the peanut gallery…let me start with an apology. Mostly.

Holyfreakinshirt!!!  Why do you DO that?  (the voice of reason in my head screams loud enough to make the wild turkeys milling about in the front yard startle).  “If you are going to apologize, then DO it!! Don’t always say you’re sorry, with an explanation…that is insincere!!”  (Man…the voice in my head is really on  guilt trip now!).

The fact is…I had been warned. Alissa had actually told me, “Don’t go there! The farmers are very protective of their farms!!!” But, did I listen?  Noooooooooooo!

Even when I thought I was being “non-judgmental and inclusive” by actually trying a week of KEM farming, and reporting my personal statistics, and even going so far as to see the value of “Team Safi” casual donut farming (CDF), it really wasn’t enough.

The backlash was instant…huge…and bordering in insane (as far as anyone can actually declare anyone to be insane, in a world that is clearly off its hinges). I kid you not…there were calls for my banishment…and worse (sorry…but, it isn’t cool to suggest doing harm to my nether regions…even if “nether regions” is a metaphor for Krustyland…at least I think that what they were implying).

It is clear…that this is simply a topic that can’t be dealt with on a public forum
–no matter what the intent–if you want to avoid a very divisive, and dangerously fractious argument. And calling any action “obsessive” in a game that requires obsessive grinding to succeed, was off base.

And so….I will apologize.

“WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THAT???” the voice screams again!

“LET ME EXPLAIN!!!”  I yell out loud, to an empty room…but loud enough to really get the turkey’s attention this time.

Here’s the deal. This is a game. It is in a very odd way, an art-form, played by players of all sorts of individual ways, that reflect the individual manner in which those individual players derive pleasure from their actions. Art is like that. It’s subjective, no matter how hard you work to quantify its elements. Everyone plays the same game, but with their own flavor and nuance.

Let’s treat TSTO as if it was a song, being played by a million musicians.  In this case, we are all playing “Smoke on the Water,” (one of two songs that should be banned forever from being played in guitar shops in the world, along with Stairway to Heaven). The fact is…”Smoke on the Water” has a very distinct and recognizable pattern of chords, that some would say “should only be played ONE way!!”  Those who choose (italics for emphasis) to play the song in a very traditional, manner…with power chords that are repetitive but efficient, are correct in their interpretation of the song.

However…there may be an entirely different camp, who have found that playing a song that is repetitive, and old-fashioned (some would might say boring), and overly traditional, may choose to play the song in minor chords, or augmented 7ths, just to be annoying, and different.  But, in the end, it’s STILL the same song! It could be played fast…it could be played as a Ska…it could be played in a looped Hip-Hop track…it could be played as a power-pop song with synthesizers, but is would STILL be the SAME Song!!

Where am I going with this?  No idea. But now I can’t get “Smoke on the Water” out of my head…and am thinking about hooking up a small amplifier to play the chords of that song onto my front porch to scare off the turkeys.

Actually…you know where I am going with this. Everyone plays the game differently.  KEM farming, or not farming…rat trap farming or not farming…Rail Yard farming or not farming…or an endless loop of “Where’s Maggie” in combination with all of the above…there isn’t a RIGHT way to play the song…er…uhm…game!  There are MANY right ways to play. Many.

So…to those who I may have insulted in any way, by inferring that your “way of playing” was incorrect or small-minded, or obsessive… I apologize.

There. I said it. And I am fine with saying it…because frankly, to argue anything about how someone taps, is as silly as trying to tell someone that there is only one way to cook a Thanksgiving turkey (although, I would put Deb’s turkeys right up there with the best I have ever had…ever…year after year).  But, the fact is…we ALL play the game in our own way…suited to our own tastes…and our own lifestyles (because it does take a commitment to alter your lifestyle to be a truly Addicted Tapper).  We are ALL different…and yet all the same.

I am currently KEM farming. I am doing it exactly in the “Safi CDF Method.”  I am farming just enough KEMs to stay at a net loss/gain in my game cash. No more/no less.  But, as the donut totals grow…I find myself in the same predicament as I did when I wrote the post last week…nothing of value to spend them on. So I will hope that the next event is “donut worthy.”  Otherwise, my constant donut grinding has little reward.

But…I WILL be in a position that for the foreseeable future, I will not be spending a dime in real money on donuts. Which means I can divert any planned donut purchases into my favorite cause,  the work we do in Uganda.

I’m not going to go into that work right now. We are just starting the funding for this round of books and supplies for winter term…so there is no need to “cajole or suggest” that you should donate. In fact…to apologize (and let’s be sure that we are all in agreement that I DID apologize) and then ask for donations would seem smarmy and insincere. Even to me…who now wants to figure out a way to get the “voice in my head” to stand out on the porch and “mind-yell” at the turkeys until they leave. So I won’t.

What I will do, is hope like heck that when this update is over (please Lord, let it be over), and we get a nice Thanksgiving mini-event (please?) that it will be followed closely by the BEST CHRISTMAS/HOLIDAY UPDATE EVER!!  Because Alissa deserves it. 

This has been a really crappy few weeks in the real world. It has been equally crappy and mentally trying in the TSTO world. And unfortunately, I added to Alissa’s already unbearable work load and Riley worries, by subjecting her to the nut-bags writing to call for my demise.  For this, I am abundantly sorry. And, if any of you still desire to “let me have a piece of your mind!!” you can do so, directly…to me. I have actually set up a “complaint email” just for you to do so, if/when I go too far off of the rails. will get right to me….right to the source of your discontent. 

That said…I hope we can finally put the “donut farming debate” to bed (without its supper). I just can’t talk about it any more, without wanting to break into “Smoke on the Water.”  It is now an “earworm/brainworm” that will forever be connected to donut farming and wild turkeys. Great.

For anyone who feels compelled to help us continue to “do something that matters” you can DONATE HERE.

If you need some healing time first…no worries. I’ll be sitting here…waiting…on the front porch…with my guitar, and a large glass of “Wild Turkey.”

Click image to see full size Turkey(s)

115 responses to “Friday Filler – The Final Word on Donut Farming…Nooooooooooooooo!

  1. So in Summary:
    (1) There are those who enjoy the game and feel that it will stop if not enough people support EA by buying cash offers or donuts.
    (2) There are those who feel that donut farmers are causing premium items to rise in donuts, thus costing them more money.
    (3) There are those who feel some donuts farmers are becoming obsessive and wasting time that could be better used in the real world.
    (4) There are those feel donut and house farming are a legitimate option provided by EA and even encouraged by EA.
    (a) for completists who would have to spend thousands of dollars to get everything
    (b) for who would spend available (non working time) earning donuts instead of spending the real money they gained in working time.
    (c) for those who just need a few extra donuts to complete events (so they don’t have to log in every 4 hours)
    (d) for those who want just a few premium items and the time spent is worthwhile
    (e) for those who just enjoy farming and the rewards (donuts and mental) that it provides.
    (f) for those that don’t have opportunity to earn extra real money (students, etc) and don’t want to answer survey questions or ask for gift card for their presents so they fully enjoy the game.

    • You forgot one…
      (g) there are those who are so tired of answering the same obsessive line of “if I just keep pounding my point, they will relent and crown me King of My Domain” that they just start deleting comments that are obsessively redundant.

      But, I get it.

      Alissa and I have talked about this a lot. Trust me. A LOT. We have come to the conclusion that the thing we didn’t predict, but should have understood…is that by it’s very nature, donut farming, especially to levels that produce 1000% multipiers and thousands of donuts in cache, is achieved by people who likely have obsessive or even obsessive compulsive personalities… personifying the term “TSTO Addict” in full living color. And as such, trying to make any point about being “casual” or “playing in moderation” is not only futile, but will bring out the need to defend their actions in a manner than could only be termed as obsessive. A self-fulfilling obsessive loop on both of our behalves.

      So…YES…for about the 900th time (does that seem excessive?) YOU and any of the “Farmists” who want to play the way you play are completely entitled to do so.

      It just isn’t for everyone. Not by a long shot.

      There’s a Direct TV commercial right now that I can’t help but think applies to this debate/conversation/un-ending insanity. And at some point, allowing a handful of you to keep saying the same thing…in a different way…but the SAME THING, over and over and over again, starts to make ME the one who likes to hit his head.

  2. What’s great about this game is all the different ways people can play and have fun. I don’t care how other people play! I am a broke completionist and thus an avid KEM farmer but I don’t feel defensive about it or anything. It’s just how I get all the stuff I want in the game while still paying my rent on time. These people leaving hateful comments have too much time on their hands/not enough real problems!

    • “I am a broke completionist and thus an avid KEM farmer but I don’t feel defensive about it or anything. It’s just how I get all the stuff I want in the game while still paying my rent on time”

      That may be the single most well-balanced and real-life comment I have read in months!

      When “Life Currency” (time) is spent on things that actually interrupt quality of life (like food and shelter), it goes too far. You seem to get that…and I applaud your pragmatic use of Donut Farming!

  3. Allow ME to apologize on behalf of the internet for its usual reactions to someone expressing an opinion. Insane world indeed.

    Personally I agree KEM farming is just another valid form of play and need not be critiqued. It should be clear to anyone by now that it’s not that exploitative; no one gets thousands of donuts overnight. And the people that have reached that point, have spent a lot of that “real life currency” since TSTO began to get there. :-/

  4. I don’t know why some people get so worked up over this game. If you’re not enjoying what you’re doing, stop playing. If you don’t like the way someone else plays, don’t play that way. If you have constructive criticism regarding the way this game is run or the way this site is managed, voice that criticism to EA or this site in a calm and rational manner.

    I know all of that was said or alluded to in the article, but I felt it needed to be repeated to underscore Patric’s point.

    I’m sorry if people have reacted in a less than civilized manner, but just know that there are many people out here that appreciate what you all do for this community and hope your Krustylands stay warm and safe over the upcoming holidays!

    – Scott/ELMangosta16/another CDF farmer with high hopes for the next event

    • Thanks, Scott.
      To be honest…I am always blown away with the almost religious fervor that some go to make a point…about a game. But, “passionate” is certainly an adjective that could be used for Farmers. We’ll leave it at that.

  5. I farm 24 KEMs, still earn cash and end up with loads of donuts. What’s not to like?

  6. Not sure why KEM farmers got so upset. I’m a KEM farmer, fairly regular about it, and I didn’t get upset. I enjoyed reading about your experience with it. Farming with KEM’s isn’t for everyone. I find it a challenge to balance income with KEM purchases. But people shouldn’t get mad just because you didnt enjoy it. Seems these days a person can’t have an opinion of anything without people getting mad.

    • This would be true. The boundaries of tribalism are hardening… I am guessing it has something to do with a lot of people not feeling that they have control over other aspects of their lives, and so they cling/fight/debate those in which they do. Or…they just don’t have much else to do.

  7. It’s partly funny and partly sad that some people get worked up about this to that degree… I spend a lot of time playing and a lot of time on this blog, but it’s still a game. It should be fun. Plenty of stuff out there IRL that’s actually worth getting worked up about.
    On the other hand, maybe some people derive their fun from getting upset, and verbally abusing others??? Not that I condone it, but that would at least be a kind of understandable reason to do it.

    Anyway, even though I personally don’t see a reason to apologize, I accept your apology. 😉

    • “… Plenty of stuff out there IRL that’s actually worth getting worked up about. …”

      And if you think about it, most of that stuff probably isn’t worth getting worked up about, either. 😉

  8. Patric your post was fine covered an i terestjng topic…some people need to get a life its only a game.

  9. Thanks for your original post Patric, I realised the grinding isn’t worth my time. Won’t let a game dictate my timeschedule, instead casually tapping for fun.
    Hugs, and enjoy all that gives you pleasure.

  10. I like it straight forward. Everyone has an opinion. Calm down people. It’s OK to disagree. If we didn’t have opinions life would be boring. Keep doing what you’re doing Patric.

    Just keep tapping 😊

  11. I am more interested in the guitar. Gibson? I took up playing just over a year ago. Love it. Don’t know why I waited 45 years. Haven’t tried Wild Turkey yet. I’m a scotch man myself but bourbon is also nice.

    • BTW…I’m aware that the photo is a Photoshop joke. I just know you’re a musician and thought I’d ask what guitar(s) you use/own. 😛

      • It is photoshopped. I don’t actually like Wild Turkey….but it made for a better Turkey post.

        Loads of guitars…couple of strats…a Taylor acoustic…a Handful of old collectibles…including my Grandfather’s Gibson L-1 (1926). A couple of bass guitars.
        Mandolin. Banjo.

        But my favorite is a Danelectro… silver sparkle. 7 position switch with three lipstick pickups.

        • Sorry for the late reply. Those are some niiiiice guitars. I haven’t bought any of the big boy brands yet. Wanted to see if I could play first so I bought a really cheap Gibson clone (not a Chibson) guitar.

          The neck is straight, the frets are level, and it stays in tune but I’ve upgraded most of the hardware and currently in the process of refinishing the neck back to its original maple finish. Just going to clear stain and coat it. Also redesigned the headstock to give it a more custom look. Lots of fun. Us old farts need new hobbies, right? 😛

    • Good call. A blonde F5 cutaway…

  12. Partic, thanks for your review of donut farming the past few weeks. I found your reviews to be pretty spot on. I can’t believe people got so offended. I agree with you that it isn’t worth the life currency. I will use donut farming very rarely to get a few donuts if i’m missing less than 20 and want to buy something that is timed, but otherwise its too much work and a grind that i would rather spend my time doing something else.

    • Putting 5 donuts into the XP Collider, buying/selling 20 Rat Trap Delivery Trucks takes me less than 2 minutes and gives me 60 donuts.

    • Do you spend time tapping for cash? Or tapping to complete events? It takes 2 minutes every period (4hours+) to farm 24 KEMs if set up correctly. That is a max of 12 more minutes a day, more likely 8 minutes. Why would you consider that a grind?

      • I believe you have made this point before… as in many times before…many,many times, on many posts. Let it go. It’s all a grind at some point.

        It have conceded that the actual donut farming part adds a few minutes every four hours. Minimal investment. However…… to stay “static” with lower multipliers… you also need to send your town on four-hour tasks. The harvest/seed process of that, added to donut farming, is at least a total of five miunutes. I’ve tried to reduce it. Can’t be done. By parsing just the KEM placement/harvesting/selling cycle away from the rest of the tasks required to maintain positive game cash flow…you are being disengenuous, self-delusional, or both.

        Went almost “tapless” this weekend. Felt wonderful!

        • Patrick, if going almost tapless last weekend felt wonderful, why don’t you try going tapless for a week, or a month, and see if you actually miss the game? I know you adamantly proclaim your enjoyment of TSTO, but what do you actually enjoy about it? How many of the six major updates each year do you love, or even like? When you think of EA, do you feel lucky they support this game or does your blood pressure start to rise at everything they get wrong? Do you like the things you can purchase in the game, or do you find the vast majority overpriced and not worth having? If you take an honest stock of your articles, what percentage of them is positive and appreciative, and what percentage is pointing out various grievances?

          I have no vested interest if you play the game or not, nor if you continue to contribute articles. As a fan of logic, though, it seems reasonable for someone participating under the tstoaddicts site to be addicted to the game and not to complaining about it ad nauseam. Again, by all means, I hope you do whatever makes you happy, and I am truly not trying to be prescriptive. I am just pointing out something that might seem obvious but that you have seemingly missed: the only thing you seem to truly enjoy about TSTO is describing how little you enjoy it.

          • Michael…
            Generally I would take a comment like this and trash it, as it is actually little more than a well-worded “troll comment” that says, “HEY! If you don’t like the game as much as we do, then shut up!!”

            However…you raise some good points- that need to be addressed to all players, as well as someone who may in fact be trying to make my life better, but is also just convincing me to stop raining on your parade…harshing your happy…or take the time to read through a comment like this, and “turn the other cheek” without so much as a wince.

            What I have done for years, and will continue to do…is to hold EA accountable for poor and lazy programming. I have always, and continue to point out when something seems pejorative, unfair, or inordinately lazy, and causes the average player to spend greater and greater amounts of time (and money), for lesser and lesser rewards.

            That said–I have also been a “cheerleader” when the game, and its makers come up with a “home run,” and create updates that are fun, challenging, creative, and interesting enough to warrant the time spent. If you took the time to go back through my posts over the years (thousands), you would see that I lean on the “Pragmatic” side of things…realistic views…that while often critical, can be supportive of both the game, and its makers, when warranted.

            But, you would also know, that working both in an online computer industry for a living, as well as having a deep connection to those in the entertainment and animation side, I tend to hold EA to a higher standard, because I know they could do better. Period.

            The reasons I tap, the reasons I write, and the reasons that Alissa and I agree on far more than you could imagine about the game (watch the live broadcasts), is that we understand the added grind of reading, administering, and moderating tens of thousands of comments with every update. And when we see a trend (this update sucks!!!), we have a choice…to blindly support a company who has clearly let the game devolve, or to point it out, and give voice to those who don’t take the time to comment.

            To answer briefly…to your rash of loaded questions…No, at this point, very little of what is being offered is worth spending money to acquire. And as every update that has been presented over the past few months has proven, there are some that loved them, some that found them lacking, and some that hated them. I tend to be right in the middle.

            But to recap…so you can sleep at night, knowing that I am not “truly addicted” to something that I hate, but can’t stop…I LOVE the monorail. I LOVE my ability to design freely (even though I push the extreme limits of item limitations), I love the interaction with neighbors…when they deem it worthy to include. I have actually enjoyed most of this year’s Major Updates…FOR THE FIRST FOUR WEEKS. To a person, almost every player agrees that they are tooooooo long! Sorry. But, most of all, I love the Simpsons. And I truly wish, that EA would take the time to program updates that are closer to a broader interpretation of “canon.” instead of making an entire 6 week episode out of something that was literally on screen for a matter of seconds…over almost THIRTY YEARS of broadcasting.

            Have I answered your questions adequately?

            As Alissa and I have both said, countless times… if what I write is so offensive, DON’T READ IT. If you see my graphic…if you see my name…cover your eyes…put a smile on your face, and just tap, tap, tap. No worries. I understand. It’s all good. But try putting in the hours and dedication to the game the way we have for the past 5+ years…and honestly tell me that you think the game is as good as it could be. If so…I’ll start forwarding you all of the comments we receive to the contrary.

            I hope that the next update is better. And THAT seems to be something that on which we can all agree. Hope springs eternal…even from this CrankyOldGuy.

          • ******

            • I trashed it. If you want to write long dissertations to Patric he publicly gave his email address in this post, email him.

              • Michael Wandler

                My apologies. I did not see his email address when I read I read his post the first time, or I would have considered using it.

                The first note I wrote Patrick, by the way, was short. I did respond with a long reply to his long dissertation. I know you were looking out for your friend, though, and I find that admirable.

              • Not looking out, he read it. I just don’t want crazy long dissertations on the site. You said what you wanted to say, he replied…if you want to talk to him further email him.

              • Michael Wandler

                I think you mean you do not want “crazy long dissertations [from readers] on the site,” correct? That makes sense. I will work on my pithiness just for you! 😉

                You and the rest of the team do a wonderful job on the site. Keep up the excellent work!

              • Crazy long unnecessary dissertations. You spoke your peace and Patric got his reply and that is that. Anything else save it for email.

  13. I like Wild Turkey also. I would also like to have the NPC turkey offered this thanksgiving. I have wanted that for a long time.

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