Friday Filler – The Final Word on Donut Farming…Nooooooooooooooo!

Thank Grog It’s Firday!!

Before any of you start lining up your pea shooters to cover me with spitwads from the peanut gallery…let me start with an apology. Mostly.

Holyfreakinshirt!!!  Why do you DO that?  (the voice of reason in my head screams loud enough to make the wild turkeys milling about in the front yard startle).  “If you are going to apologize, then DO it!! Don’t always say you’re sorry, with an explanation…that is insincere!!”  (Man…the voice in my head is really on  guilt trip now!).

The fact is…I had been warned. Alissa had actually told me, “Don’t go there! The farmers are very protective of their farms!!!” But, did I listen?  Noooooooooooo!

Even when I thought I was being “non-judgmental and inclusive” by actually trying a week of KEM farming, and reporting my personal statistics, and even going so far as to see the value of “Team Safi” casual donut farming (CDF), it really wasn’t enough.

The backlash was instant…huge…and bordering in insane (as far as anyone can actually declare anyone to be insane, in a world that is clearly off its hinges). I kid you not…there were calls for my banishment…and worse (sorry…but, it isn’t cool to suggest doing harm to my nether regions…even if “nether regions” is a metaphor for Krustyland…at least I think that what they were implying).

It is clear…that this is simply a topic that can’t be dealt with on a public forum
–no matter what the intent–if you want to avoid a very divisive, and dangerously fractious argument. And calling any action “obsessive” in a game that requires obsessive grinding to succeed, was off base.

And so….I will apologize.

“WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THAT???” the voice screams again!

“LET ME EXPLAIN!!!”  I yell out loud, to an empty room…but loud enough to really get the turkey’s attention this time.

Here’s the deal. This is a game. It is in a very odd way, an art-form, played by players of all sorts of individual ways, that reflect the individual manner in which those individual players derive pleasure from their actions. Art is like that. It’s subjective, no matter how hard you work to quantify its elements. Everyone plays the same game, but with their own flavor and nuance.

Let’s treat TSTO as if it was a song, being played by a million musicians.  In this case, we are all playing “Smoke on the Water,” (one of two songs that should be banned forever from being played in guitar shops in the world, along with Stairway to Heaven). The fact is…”Smoke on the Water” has a very distinct and recognizable pattern of chords, that some would say “should only be played ONE way!!”  Those who choose (italics for emphasis) to play the song in a very traditional, manner…with power chords that are repetitive but efficient, are correct in their interpretation of the song.

However…there may be an entirely different camp, who have found that playing a song that is repetitive, and old-fashioned (some would might say boring), and overly traditional, may choose to play the song in minor chords, or augmented 7ths, just to be annoying, and different.  But, in the end, it’s STILL the same song! It could be played fast…it could be played as a Ska…it could be played in a looped Hip-Hop track…it could be played as a power-pop song with synthesizers, but is would STILL be the SAME Song!!

Where am I going with this?  No idea. But now I can’t get “Smoke on the Water” out of my head…and am thinking about hooking up a small amplifier to play the chords of that song onto my front porch to scare off the turkeys.

Actually…you know where I am going with this. Everyone plays the game differently.  KEM farming, or not farming…rat trap farming or not farming…Rail Yard farming or not farming…or an endless loop of “Where’s Maggie” in combination with all of the above…there isn’t a RIGHT way to play the song…er…uhm…game!  There are MANY right ways to play. Many.

So…to those who I may have insulted in any way, by inferring that your “way of playing” was incorrect or small-minded, or obsessive… I apologize.

There. I said it. And I am fine with saying it…because frankly, to argue anything about how someone taps, is as silly as trying to tell someone that there is only one way to cook a Thanksgiving turkey (although, I would put Deb’s turkeys right up there with the best I have ever had…ever…year after year).  But, the fact is…we ALL play the game in our own way…suited to our own tastes…and our own lifestyles (because it does take a commitment to alter your lifestyle to be a truly Addicted Tapper).  We are ALL different…and yet all the same.

I am currently KEM farming. I am doing it exactly in the “Safi CDF Method.”  I am farming just enough KEMs to stay at a net loss/gain in my game cash. No more/no less.  But, as the donut totals grow…I find myself in the same predicament as I did when I wrote the post last week…nothing of value to spend them on. So I will hope that the next event is “donut worthy.”  Otherwise, my constant donut grinding has little reward.

But…I WILL be in a position that for the foreseeable future, I will not be spending a dime in real money on donuts. Which means I can divert any planned donut purchases into my favorite cause,  the work we do in Uganda.

I’m not going to go into that work right now. We are just starting the funding for this round of books and supplies for winter term…so there is no need to “cajole or suggest” that you should donate. In fact…to apologize (and let’s be sure that we are all in agreement that I DID apologize) and then ask for donations would seem smarmy and insincere. Even to me…who now wants to figure out a way to get the “voice in my head” to stand out on the porch and “mind-yell” at the turkeys until they leave. So I won’t.

What I will do, is hope like heck that when this update is over (please Lord, let it be over), and we get a nice Thanksgiving mini-event (please?) that it will be followed closely by the BEST CHRISTMAS/HOLIDAY UPDATE EVER!!  Because Alissa deserves it. 

This has been a really crappy few weeks in the real world. It has been equally crappy and mentally trying in the TSTO world. And unfortunately, I added to Alissa’s already unbearable work load and Riley worries, by subjecting her to the nut-bags writing to call for my demise.  For this, I am abundantly sorry. And, if any of you still desire to “let me have a piece of your mind!!” you can do so, directly…to me. I have actually set up a “complaint email” just for you to do so, if/when I go too far off of the rails. will get right to me….right to the source of your discontent. 

That said…I hope we can finally put the “donut farming debate” to bed (without its supper). I just can’t talk about it any more, without wanting to break into “Smoke on the Water.”  It is now an “earworm/brainworm” that will forever be connected to donut farming and wild turkeys. Great.

For anyone who feels compelled to help us continue to “do something that matters” you can DONATE HERE.

If you need some healing time first…no worries. I’ll be sitting here…waiting…on the front porch…with my guitar, and a large glass of “Wild Turkey.”

Click image to see full size Turkey(s)


115 responses to “Friday Filler – The Final Word on Donut Farming…Nooooooooooooooo!

  1. So in Summary:
    (1) There are those who enjoy the game and feel that it will stop if not enough people support EA by buying cash offers or donuts.
    (2) There are those who feel that donut farmers are causing premium items to rise in donuts, thus costing them more money.
    (3) There are those who feel some donuts farmers are becoming obsessive and wasting time that could be better used in the real world.
    (4) There are those feel donut and house farming are a legitimate option provided by EA and even encouraged by EA.
    (a) for completists who would have to spend thousands of dollars to get everything
    (b) for who would spend available (non working time) earning donuts instead of spending the real money they gained in working time.
    (c) for those who just need a few extra donuts to complete events (so they don’t have to log in every 4 hours)
    (d) for those who want just a few premium items and the time spent is worthwhile
    (e) for those who just enjoy farming and the rewards (donuts and mental) that it provides.
    (f) for those that don’t have opportunity to earn extra real money (students, etc) and don’t want to answer survey questions or ask for gift card for their presents so they fully enjoy the game.


    • You forgot one…
      (g) there are those who are so tired of answering the same obsessive line of “if I just keep pounding my point, they will relent and crown me King of My Domain” that they just start deleting comments that are obsessively redundant.

      But, I get it.

      Alissa and I have talked about this a lot. Trust me. A LOT. We have come to the conclusion that the thing we didn’t predict, but should have understood…is that by it’s very nature, donut farming, especially to levels that produce 1000% multipiers and thousands of donuts in cache, is achieved by people who likely have obsessive or even obsessive compulsive personalities… personifying the term “TSTO Addict” in full living color. And as such, trying to make any point about being “casual” or “playing in moderation” is not only futile, but will bring out the need to defend their actions in a manner than could only be termed as obsessive. A self-fulfilling obsessive loop on both of our behalves.

      So…YES…for about the 900th time (does that seem excessive?) YOU and any of the “Farmists” who want to play the way you play are completely entitled to do so.

      It just isn’t for everyone. Not by a long shot.

      There’s a Direct TV commercial right now that I can’t help but think applies to this debate/conversation/un-ending insanity. And at some point, allowing a handful of you to keep saying the same thing…in a different way…but the SAME THING, over and over and over again, starts to make ME the one who likes to hit his head.


  2. What’s great about this game is all the different ways people can play and have fun. I don’t care how other people play! I am a broke completionist and thus an avid KEM farmer but I don’t feel defensive about it or anything. It’s just how I get all the stuff I want in the game while still paying my rent on time. These people leaving hateful comments have too much time on their hands/not enough real problems!


    • “I am a broke completionist and thus an avid KEM farmer but I don’t feel defensive about it or anything. It’s just how I get all the stuff I want in the game while still paying my rent on time”

      That may be the single most well-balanced and real-life comment I have read in months!

      When “Life Currency” (time) is spent on things that actually interrupt quality of life (like food and shelter), it goes too far. You seem to get that…and I applaud your pragmatic use of Donut Farming!


  3. Allow ME to apologize on behalf of the internet for its usual reactions to someone expressing an opinion. Insane world indeed.

    Personally I agree KEM farming is just another valid form of play and need not be critiqued. It should be clear to anyone by now that it’s not that exploitative; no one gets thousands of donuts overnight. And the people that have reached that point, have spent a lot of that “real life currency” since TSTO began to get there. :-/


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