Krusty’s Last Gasp Full Dialogue Questline

Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!

Tomorrow marks the end of Krusty’s Last Gasp Online…will you be sad to see it go?  Time to just about wrap this mini-event up with a pretty little bow, and post the full dialogue of the main questline. (Don’t forget Showoff Submissions are due tonight…that was we really can put a pretty bow on the event!)

Krusty’s Last Gasp Intro
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Krusty: The Clown Guild made me fire my agent. So, you get to be the guy who acts shocked if the show ever gets canceled.
BHL: The show’s canceled.
Krusty: What?! My show! This is worse than being totally broke.
BHL: You’re totally broke.
Krusty: *sobbing*
BHL: I say this as your lawyer guy, tax guy, points guy, and… your only-friend-left guy: Cut the crap, get to work, and turn your life around.
Krusty: You pierced through my thin-skinned show biz narcissism and reached me in a way my agent never could. I will turn my life around!
Make Krusty Think of His Options- 6s, Earns $35, 1xp
Krusty: Turning your life around is exhausting. Hey kids! How do people make money in 2019?
Milhouse: My dad charges myPhones in front of concert exits.
Bart: No, the real money is in ViewTube. Look, Maggie’s watching one of those dumb songs right now.
Maggie: *suck* *suck*
Bart: Observe. While she sits, the ViewTuber rakes in that sweet, sweet ad revenue.
Maggie: *click* *click*
Milhouse: And clicks are worth more than gold.
Krusty: I can come up with dumb songs people will click on!

Krusty’s Last Gasp Online Pt. 1
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Krusty: You’re musical, I think — help me.
Mel: The show’s over, Krusty. I’m no longer your Sideshow to boss around.
Krusty: I’m going to churn out so many hit ViewTube “songs”, I’ll get the show back plus extra toilets for both of our dressing rooms.
Mel: But you’ve never written a song.
Krusty: I’ve never written a joke either!
Make Krusty Steal Songs- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Collect Krusty Koins- x100.
Krusty: Ugh, it turns out music has this thing called copyright. As in you can’t “copy” it or they “write” you an angry letter.
Mel: The blurred lines regarding song-stealing separate the Robyns from the Robin Thickes, the Neil Youngs from the William Hungs, and the Adam Levines from the Miranda Sings!
Krusty: Hmm, all those people have songs……and those songs are just waiting for some super-talented jag to decrease their tempos, transpose them to G, and get rich!

Krusty’s Last Gasp Online Pt. 2
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Krusty: *humming stolen song* Wow, hit songs really do hold up when you barely change them. Writing new lyrics could be tricky though…Maybe this rhyming app can be my personal Bernie Taupin.
Make Krusty Slightly Change an Existing Song Into a “New” Song- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Collect Krusty Koins- x120. 

Krusty’s Last Gasp Online Pt. 3
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BHL: Krusty, stealing songs this brazenly could put you in a legal bind I cannot untangle.
Krusty: “Ice Ice Baby” proves that you can even rip-off of a Queen & Bowie duet and still nobody will care!
BHL: Stealing music is a dangerous game. The only things the court comes down harder on are mislabeled mackerel and violations of child labor laws.
Krusty: Oh yeah, that reminds me. I hired a bunch of child backup singers, and I’m severely underpaying them. I’m bringing back the Krusketeers!
Make Krusty Audition His Kruskteers- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Collect Krusty Koins- x120.

Krusty’s Last Gasp Online Pt. 4
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Krusty: All right, kids! I’ve decided on the final five spots for the new Krusketeers! Bart, Ralph, Sherri, Terri, and… Nelson.
Nelson: Cry me a Timberlake, I’m a Krusketeer!
Krusty: Krusketeers! Come up to the stage and enter ViewTube stardom!
BHL: My client retains all music rights and future earnings from your careers and non-careers.
Lisa: This all seems very suspicious.
Make Krusty Go Viral With his Krusketeers- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Collect Krusty Koins- x120.

Krusty’s Last Gasp Online Pt. 5
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Krusty: Becoming a ViewTube sensation is really draining my myPhone battery!
Kirk: Five dollars to charge your phone! I use authentic myPhone USB cables!
Krusty: Here’s a fifty.
Kirk: Whoa, your phone is really heating up! You’re hitting a million views. Ow! It’s burning my hand!
Krusty: Hold it up to me. I need to see my view count in real-time!
Make Krusty Hide Earnings From his Krusketeers- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Collect Krusty Koins- x120.

Krusty’s Last Gasp Online Pt. 6
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Krusty: Seven point three million views! Bringing back the Krusketeers was genius.
BHL: But… you are now under investigation by both the FBI and ViewTube’s moderation team. Also, Katy Perry is suing you for stealing a song she called dibs on first.
Krusty: Well, I can always say I was number one on the ViewTube charts…
BHL: It’s not all bad news, Krusty. You’re filthy rich again and I talked to the network — they’re un-cancelling the show.
Krusty: I faked it till I maked it, and now I’m back!
Make Krusty Krusty Buy a Bigger House- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Collect Krusty Koins- x120.

Krusty’s Last Gasp Online Pt. 7
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BHL: Katy Perry’s dropping her suit, but don’t put out any new music for the time being.
Krusty: Any word if my new dressing room toilet is gonna be a fancy Japanese one?
Lisa: I know what you did, Krusty!
Krusty: What? Having an extra toilet is one of those necessary luxuries.
Lisa: No, not that! You stole songs!
Krusty: Yeah, you’re too late, kid. It’s public knowledge. Plus, I’m done with music. It’s too much work!
Lisa: Until ViewTube bans your channel, you’re still raking in that ad revenue. But all that ends today. Your Krusketeers joined me, and I’m going to top you, even if it means stealing songs. Maybe I’ll steal your song!
Make Lisa Remix Krusty’s Song, With Science- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Collect Krusty Koins- x120.
Sideshow Lisa: With the science of music and the Krusketeers behind me, this song destroys yours!
Krusty: Yeah, whatever kid. I’ve already moved away from ViewTube. I’m back on the traditional media bandwagon!

Thoughts on the questline? Were you following along with the storyline in real time?  Or did you come back to see what you may have missed by tapping too fast?  Sound off in the comments below, you know we love hearing from you!