Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
Tomorrow marks the end of Cthulhu’s Revenge…will you be sad to see it go? Or just ready to see a proper event follow?
In either case, it’s time to just about wrap this mini-event up with a pretty little bow, and post the full dialogue of the main questline.
(Don’t forget Showoff Submissions are due tonight…that was we really can put a pretty bow on the event!)
Homer: Did I win the oyster eating contest yet??
Moe: There weren’t no contest, Homer. You just started stuffin’ your face as soon as we pulled up that weird giant sea nest. Also, last I checked, oysters aren’t egg-shaped.
Lenny: How often do you check?
Moe: Every month or so.
Homer: I don’t feel so good… Better keep eating. One twenty-four…one twenty-five…
Make Homer Eat More “Oysters”- 6s, Earns $35, 1xp
Make Moe Cheer Homer On- 6s, Earns $35, 1xp
Moe: Ah, I love a good fishin’ trip. The gentle waves, the sun on your face, the sudden mysterious bone-chilling cold and fog…
Carl: Is the tide supposed to come in this early… and be shaped like a gigantic sea creature?
Moe: I can’t believe it. The tide tables are inaccurate!
Cthulhu: Silence! I am The High Priest of the Old Ones. The Sleeper of R’lyeh. The Great Dreamer.
Moe: I am Moe, the Yellowest of Bellies. The Great Groveler. The Cauliflower-Eared Coward.
Cthulhu: I felt my spawn leave this plane of existence. Who dares to cross the mighty Cthulhu?!
Moe: Did I mention I’m the Stooliest of Stoolies? Doesn’t quite have the same ring, but… it was Homer Simpson!
Cthulhu’s Revenge Pt. 1
Cthulhu: Where is the man they call Homer Simpson, the fool who dared to disturb my eggs?
Marge: I knew those oysters Homie ate looked weird.
Cthulhu: He ATE my spawn?! I assumed he was just using them for a satanic death spell or something! What kind of monster is he?!
Marge: You left your offspring unattended — what kind of monster are YOU?!
Cthulhu: A half-octopus, half-crab, half-demon monster…
Marge: Well you’re also an absentee parent!
Cthulhu: *shocked gasp*
Make Marge Scold Cthulhu- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Collect Tentacles- x150.
Cthulhu’s Revenge Pt. 2
Cthulhu: You’re right, Marge, I’m a bad parent!
Marge: Cheer up, Cthulhu. You can’t be THAT bad.
Cthulhu: I once traded my eldest spawn M’nthster for a pair of designer sunglasses.
Bart: Man, that’s cold! They must of been some really sweet shades…
Cthulhu: They were too small for my head – they looked like tiny Ben Franklin glasses on me.
Lisa: That look’s sorta in now.
Cthulhu: I know, but I didn’t have the confidence to pull it off.
Marge: Sunglasses, eh? I think I know how we can make things right between you and your spawn, M’nthster!
Make Marge Take Cthulhu Sunglasses Shopping- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp
Collect Tentacles- x150.
Cthulhu: These all look stupid! I’m just not a sunglasses deity.
Marge: I guess I thought if we got you the coolest sunglasses in the world, M’nthster would understand why you traded him for them…
Cthulhu’s Revenge Pt. 3
Marge: Wow, I really thought that sunglasses thing was going to work.
Cthulhu: “Cool sunglasses” was your whole plan to mend my relationship with M’nthster?
Lisa: Seriously, Mom, that’s pretty weak.
Marge: Look, I’ve mended a lot of relationships over the years, they can’t all be home runs!
Cthulhu: I guess I’m beyond helping. I’m going to the only place a bad parent can feel happy.
Cthulhu: No… the graveyard.
Make Marge Be Creeped Out- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp
Make Bart Defile Graves- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp
Collect Tentacles- x150.
Marge: You come here to feel better?
Cthulhu: Oh yeah, all the “dead”-beat ghouls come here to commiserate about being bad parents.
Count Dracula: I once left little Dracula Jr. in the hearse while I was drinking at the Blood Bank…But I cracked the coffin a little — he turned out fine!
Cthulhu: Maybe this isn’t the best place to be if I’m trying to make things right with M’nthster…
Cthulhu’s Revenge Pt. 4
Marge: No peeking, we’re almost there.
Cthulhu: Okay, but hurry up, the anticipation is killing me. Well, it would be if I was mortal…
M’nthster: What are you doing here?!
Cthulhu: M’nthster, my child! It’s me, your lord and parent!
M’nthster: Yeah, I can see who you are, even without fancy sunglasses.
Cthulhu: Come on, don’t be like that! I’m trying to make amends!
M’nthster: Why didn’t you make amends before my bat mitzvah, where I ate a bat? Or my school play, “Death of a Salesman”, where I ate a salesman?
Cthulhu: I… I…
Marge: This is more complicated than I thought…
Make Marge Be an Unqualified Family Therapist- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp
Collect Tentacles- x200.
Marge: Alright, why don’t you start by telling us why you’re mad.
M’nthster: Why am I mad?! My parent abandoned me as a baby! Who is this silly human?!
Cthulhu: Yes, she is quite dense, even for a human! And if you think she’s foolish, you should meet her husband! I watched him struggle with the maze on the back of a cereal box for over an hour!
Marge: *annoyed murmur*
Cthulhu’s Revenge Pt. 5
Cthulhu:…and their children have pointy heads, and are puny compared to how tall children that age should be!
M’nthster: *laughter* I’ve missed the way you make fun of humans! I’m glad we were able to patch things up instead of fighting and destroying all of reality like last time.
Marge: Wait, what?
Cthulhu: You’ve single-handedly saved all life on Earth because your family is so ridiculous, Marge.
Marge: My family is not a joke! Shame on you!
Cthulhu: We’re sorry. Perhaps you’re right. Maybe we should destroy Earth after all…
Marge:…did you hear about the time Homer split his pants picking up a penny???
Make Marge Celebrate Saving the World- 24hrs, Earns $600, 150xp
Collect Tentacles- x400.
Marge: You two should come for Christmas. It’s a great time for family and being with those you love.
Cthulhu: Oh, we wouldn’t want to impose.
Marge: Not at all! The more the merrier. You can join in on our family traditions of Homer strangling Bart and me sending Lisa to her room for being blasphemous!
Cthulhu: Ah, there’s nothing better than family!
And that’s it my friends! What are your overall thoughts on the mini-event? Thoughts on the prizes? Ready for what’s next? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!