Cthulhu’s Revenge Full Dialogue Questline

Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!

Tomorrow marks the end of Cthulhu’s Revenge…will you be sad to see it go?  Or just ready to see a proper event follow?

In either case, it’s time to just about wrap this mini-event up with a pretty little bow, and post the full dialogue of the main questline.

(Don’t forget Showoff Submissions are due tonight…that was we really can put a pretty bow on the event!)

Auto starts

Homer: Did I win the oyster eating contest yet??
Moe: There weren’t no contest, Homer. You just started stuffin’ your face as soon as we pulled up that weird giant sea nest. Also, last I checked, oysters aren’t egg-shaped.
Lenny: How often do you check?
Moe: Every month or so.
Homer: I don’t feel so good… Better keep eating. One twenty-four…one twenty-five…
Make Homer Eat More “Oysters”- 6s, Earns $35, 1xp
Make Moe Cheer Homer On- 6s, Earns $35, 1xp

Moe: Ah, I love a good fishin’ trip. The gentle waves, the sun on your face, the sudden mysterious bone-chilling cold and fog…
Carl: Is the tide supposed to come in this early… and be shaped like a gigantic sea creature?
Moe: I can’t believe it. The tide tables are inaccurate!
Cthulhu: Silence! I am The High Priest of the Old Ones. The Sleeper of R’lyeh. The Great Dreamer.
Moe: I am Moe, the Yellowest of Bellies. The Great Groveler. The Cauliflower-Eared Coward.
Cthulhu: I felt my spawn leave this plane of existence. Who dares to cross the mighty Cthulhu?!
Moe: Did I mention I’m the Stooliest of Stoolies? Doesn’t quite have the same ring, but… it was Homer Simpson!

Cthulhu’s Revenge Pt. 1
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Cthulhu: Where is the man they call Homer Simpson, the fool who dared to disturb my eggs?
Marge: I knew those oysters Homie ate looked weird.
Cthulhu: He ATE my spawn?! I assumed he was just using them for a satanic death spell or something! What kind of monster is he?!
Marge: You left your offspring unattended — what kind of monster are YOU?!
Cthulhu: A half-octopus, half-crab, half-demon monster…
Marge: Well you’re also an absentee parent!
Cthulhu: *shocked gasp*
Make Marge Scold Cthulhu- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Collect Tentacles-

Cthulhu’s Revenge Pt. 2
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Cthulhu: You’re right, Marge, I’m a bad parent!
Marge: Cheer up, Cthulhu. You can’t be THAT bad.
Cthulhu: I once traded my eldest spawn M’nthster for a pair of designer sunglasses.
Bart: Man, that’s cold! They must of been some really sweet shades…
Cthulhu: They were too small for my head – they looked like tiny Ben Franklin glasses on me.
Lisa: That look’s sorta in now.
Cthulhu: I know, but I didn’t have the confidence to pull it off.
Marge: Sunglasses, eh? I think I know how we can make things right between you and your spawn, M’nthster!
Make Marge Take Cthulhu Sunglasses Shopping- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp
Collect Tentacles- x150.
Cthulhu: These all look stupid! I’m just not a sunglasses deity.
Marge: I guess I thought if we got you the coolest sunglasses in the world, M’nthster would understand why you traded him for them…

Cthulhu’s Revenge Pt. 3
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Marge: Wow, I really thought that sunglasses thing was going to work.
Cthulhu: “Cool sunglasses” was your whole plan to mend my relationship with M’nthster?
Lisa: Seriously, Mom, that’s pretty weak.
Marge: Look, I’ve mended a lot of relationships over the years, they can’t all be home runs!
Cthulhu: I guess I’m beyond helping. I’m going to the only place a bad parent can feel happy.
Homer: Moe’s?
Cthulhu: No… the graveyard.
Make Marge Be Creeped Out- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp
Make Bart Defile Graves- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp

Collect Tentacles- x150.
Marge: You come here to feel better?
Cthulhu: Oh yeah, all the “dead”-beat ghouls come here to commiserate about being bad parents.
Count Dracula: I once left little Dracula Jr. in the hearse while I was drinking at the Blood Bank…But I cracked the coffin a little — he turned out fine!
Cthulhu: Maybe this isn’t the best place to be if I’m trying to make things right with M’nthster…

Cthulhu’s Revenge Pt. 4
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Marge: No peeking, we’re almost there.
Cthulhu: Okay, but hurry up, the anticipation is killing me. Well, it would be if I was mortal…
M’nthster: What are you doing here?!
Cthulhu: M’nthster, my child! It’s me, your lord and parent!
M’nthster: Yeah, I can see who you are, even without fancy sunglasses.
Cthulhu: Come on, don’t be like that! I’m trying to make amends!
M’nthster: Why didn’t you make amends before my bat mitzvah, where I ate a bat? Or my school play, “Death of a Salesman”, where I ate a salesman?
Cthulhu: I… I…
Marge: This is more complicated than I thought…
Make Marge Be an Unqualified Family Therapist- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp
Collect Tentacles- x200.
Marge: Alright, why don’t you start by telling us why you’re mad.
M’nthster: Why am I mad?! My parent abandoned me as a baby! Who is this silly human?!
Cthulhu: Yes, she is quite dense, even for a human! And if you think she’s foolish, you should meet her husband! I watched him struggle with the maze on the back of a cereal box for over an hour!
M’nthster: *laughter*
Marge: *annoyed murmur*

Cthulhu’s Revenge Pt. 5
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Cthulhu:…and their children have pointy heads, and are puny compared to how tall children that age should be!
M’nthster: *laughter* I’ve missed the way you make fun of humans! I’m glad we were able to patch things up instead of fighting and destroying all of reality like last time.
Marge: Wait, what?
Cthulhu: You’ve single-handedly saved all life on Earth because your family is so ridiculous, Marge.
Marge: My family is not a joke! Shame on you!
Cthulhu: We’re sorry. Perhaps you’re right. Maybe we should destroy Earth after all…
Marge:…did you hear about the time Homer split his pants picking up a penny???
Make Marge Celebrate Saving the World- 24hrs, Earns $600, 150xp
Collect Tentacles- x400.
Marge: You two should come for Christmas. It’s a great time for family and being with those you love.
Cthulhu: Oh, we wouldn’t want to impose.
Marge: Not at all! The more the merrier. You can join in on our family traditions of Homer strangling Bart and me sending Lisa to her room for being blasphemous!
Cthulhu: Ah, there’s nothing better than family!

And that’s it my friends!  What are your overall thoughts on the mini-event?  Thoughts on the prizes?  Ready for what’s next? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!

25 responses to “Cthulhu’s Revenge Full Dialogue Questline

  1. I actually managed to finish before deadline with none of my usual problems. Woot! Looking forward to THOH but I’m saddened by my complete lack of donuts. The book thing keeps sucking me dry.

  2. Actually lost the anticipation and excitement i remember feeling when a new event is imminent. Think Christmas will be my last event and maybe its time to move on.

  3. I play on my iPad and can go an hour or two without the Bart screen but as soon as I play on my iPhone 7 it’s non-stop Bart screens

    Overall I enjoyed this mini-event but I really hope for an event that’ll knock our socks off for this years THOH

  4. At the state the game is in, if they try to win us back with anything different its gonna suck…..since most everyone gets booted off so much. Unless they fix the server or whatever ( I’m no geek squad) anything new will just be soooo frustrating.
    Many a device will be hurled into the Nether and Nico will finally see the ultimate El Snapo…..😡⚡🎃

    • I was just in my game for a good 30minutes doing some rearranging, didn’t get kicked out once. So perhaps a fix is rolling out

      • I think it is not time in the game but what you are doing, for me it has only really crashed immediately after a level up donut choice, and it does so probably around 10-20% of the time. That is why it makes farming so didficult, because if you plan on multiple level ups at a time you will likely crash and lose all donuts not collected at the time of the crash.

        • Sometimes if i collect too many characters jobs/money at once it crashes. Other times im not doing anything and it does it. If im on for a 20 min stretch it will crash at least 4 times. Neighbor visits are still a joke. I can’t find a pattern. Oh well. Whatever. No use beating a dead horse. (sorry PETA) Its all been said at nauseam. 😵
          PS….i love the game.🎃❤

          • Sandytoes, Back away from the phone. Ot is only a figurative dead horse that is being flogged, not an actual one. No need to bring in peta here.

    • 👍👍👍👍👍


  5. 🌠👁️ ‘Cthulhu’ (one of the “Great Old Ones” imprisoned on Earth in the sunken City of R’lyeh – well, now this ancient Deity roams our Springfield (lol!) is a fun tribute to a Simpson’s Episode opening scene (kudos for having Marge Simpson save the day!) …. I’ll consider ‘M’nthster’ a lampooning of “lower caste Gods”(kudos to the writers for referencing the slave like ‘Shoggoths’ and ‘Mi-gos’ with that!) …. but will the “Outer Ones” (such as ‘Azathoth’) that occupy the centre of the universe appear next? I doubt it, unless an appearance occurs in another Simpson’s Episode (if anything, I would expect followers of ‘Dagon’ – those humans who turn into Aquatic creatures and seen briefly in the Cthulhu opening scene – to be next, if EA actually does that!) 🐡

    Until tomorrow (Wednesday), nothing to predict.

  6. So do we think a new event will start straight up tomorrow ?

  7. I want a nice big event,new event, new concept, more exciting and challenges, no bugs unless am squashing them for prizes, no lag or bart screen, enough is enough this has been the worst year i can remember for events

    • Keith Rooney

      It’s been some good Events, some bad Events, but it’s the inconsistent L-EA-Z-Y that has sucked the fun out of TSTO in 2019 (ok, the role back glitch in 2018 was awful!)

      I share some of your criticism with EA on Twitter ( @EAHelp ) and would encourage you to do the same (everybody should do this, EA would get the hint!) I can’t recommend the official EA TSTO Facebook profile, as it’s been quite dormant!

      Let’s hope for fun tomorrow, and yes preferably minus Bart Simpson Screen of Death.

  8. I loved the dialogue with this quest! Enjoyed it!

  9. Rusty Shackleford

    Not sure what to think. Keep getting Bart screens.

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