Christmas 2019 (Abe’s in Toyland): Full Dialogue Week 4, A Jazzy Xmas Special

Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!

The finish line is in sight guys.  Christmas is almost over in Springfield!  Now that we’re wrapping up week 4 of the event, it’s time to look back at the dialogue.  Just in case you missed it by tappin’ too fast…

A Jazzy Xmas Special Pt. 1
Auto starts

Death: Great! So that’s how you saved Christmas.
Grampa: What are you talking about? That story was about the FBI and Communists.
Death: Close enough. Off we go to the afterlife. Come on, come on!
Grampa: I’m not going through pearly gate one until I tell you how I saved Christmas.
Death: Okay, fine! I’m an emotionless specter, but, boy, I am so going to enjoy killing you.
Grampa: It all started right after my wife Mona ran away. I was bussing tables at Spiro’s Jazz Den when I met a lovely lady named Rita Lafleur. She had legs that went all the way to the place next door… Gunther’s Polka Hole.
Make Grampa Get Nostalgic About Rita- 4hrs
Collect Old Fashion Cologne- x50.

A Jazzy Xmas Special Pt. 2
Auto starts

Grampa: Right away, I fell for Rita hard. *playing piano* My heart does the two-step when you waltz in the place.Rita LaFleur: Hey, you’re quite the singer… and looker. I love a man with jowls. Let’s paint the town red, daddy-o!
Grampa: I’d love to. But that reminds me. I *am* a daddy. Ohhhh. Just let me go home, stuff a burger into Homer, and get dressed up for a night on the town. Homer can put himself to bed.
Rita LaFleur: I love how you take a small amount of responsibility for your son.
Make Grampa Clean Himself Up for a Date- 4hrs
Collect Old Fashion Cologne- x100.

A Jazzy Xmas Special Pt. 3
Auto starts

Grampa: It didn’t take long for me to get serious about Rita.  Rita, I’m thinking maybe we should get married.
Rita LaFleur: Um, we haven’t even had our first date yet.
Grampa: That’s why I’m asking you now, before you find out what I’m like on a date.
Rita LaFleur: Abe, I’m just out to have some fun. Let’s not ruin tonight with talk of marriage.
Grampa: Right. I’ll ruin it with talk about what I did in the war. Did I ever tell you about how I saved Christmas?
Make Grampa Tell Rita Stories- 4hrs
Collect Old Fashion Cologne- x100.
Death: You just retold me all your previous stories as part of telling this story!
Grampa: That’s a trick I learned in the war! You see–
Death: Just get back to telling me about Rita!

A Jazzy Xmas Special Pt. 4
Auto starts

Grampa: I figured I had to win Rita over with a big romantic gesture on Christmas Eve… Look, Homer. I bought an engagement ring for Rita. She’s gonna be your new mom.Baby Homer: Goo goo.
Grampa: Pretty, ain’t it? You wanna hold it?
Baby Homer: *gulp*
Grampa: Holy smokes, ya idjit, you swallowed it! I’ve gotta buy a new ring before all the stores close for Christmas Eve!
Make Grampa Rush to Buy a New Ring- 4hrs
Collect Old Fashion Cologne- x100.
Grampa: Get that sleigh out of the road, ya fat slowpoke! I gotta get an engagement ring for my gal.

Santa Claus: Watch where you’re going! I have presents for the children. My sleigh! You smashed it up with your car! This could ruin Christmas!Death: Hey, you’re finally getting to the story! I was scared you never would.

A Jazzy Xmas Special Pt. 5
Auto starts

Santa Claus: This is the last straw. My sleigh is wrecked, I’m exhausted, and kids are so demanding… All they want is toys, toys, toys. Whatever happened to the days when they were thrilled to get an orange in their stocking?
Grampa: I’ll make you a deal, Santa. You get me a nice diamond ring, and me and Rita will deliver your presents.
Santa Claus: Deal! And I’ll throw in an old worn-out magic reindeer. They make fine eating!
Make Grampa Deliver Presents with the Family- 4hrs
Collect Old Fashion Cologne- x100.
Grampa: And that’s how I saved Christmas…
Death: So you actually delivered all the toys?
Grampa: Nah, didn’t even come close. Dumped most of them in the lake, in fact.
Death: How is that saving Christmas?
Grampa: Well, without Santa’s elf-made crap, parents had to buy genuine high-quality made-in-America toys. I saved the economy and kids got better presents.

Abe’s In Toyland Outro
Auto starts

Death: Congratulations, Abraham. Your story took so long that dawn has come, and your time to die has passed. You have achieved your goal, and cheated Death myself.
Grampa: What are ya talking about? I wanna go. This world sucks. I mean, you should see the Retirement Castle where I live.
Death:I have, many times. I’m seeing Jasper there this morning. But you missed your chance. *climbing out window* Smell ya later!
Grampa: Aw, nuts. I’m still alive.
Lisa: Hi Grampa. What are you doing up so early?
Grampa: Did I ever tell you how I cheated Death on Christmas Eve?
Bart: Not another made up story!
Make Grampa Tell How He Dodge Death on Christmas Eve- 4hrs

And with that you’ve completed week 4, and the 2019 Christmas Event!

Thoughts on the final week?  Did you finish the prize track? Ready for what’s next?  Thoughts on the event in general?  Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!

Leave a Reply