Simpsons Wrestling 2020: Act 3 Premium Questline, Beefy Bishop

Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!

Update time in Springfield!  We’re all getting antsy sitting at home, so it’s nice to have an update to focus on! What’s in store for us this time? Well, it’s time for Burns and Aristotle Amadopolis to have yet another clash of tapping proportions!

With Act 3, one new premium character was introduced. In addition to helping with event currency, the Beefy Bishop comes with his own, beefy, individual questline, so let’s take a look at the full dialogue questline now…

Cut the Beef Pt. 1
Grampa starts

Grampa: Why won’t you get back in the ring?
The Beefy Bishop: My wrestling days are long over, much like your hairline. Now leave me.
Grampa: But I want to gossip about our peers and see you lose your temper.
The Beefy Bishop: I haven’t lost my temper in three hours. That’s a new record for me.
Moe: *walking toward the door* I forgot my wallet. I’ll need to take this haircut on credit.
The Beefy Bishop: Pay or your hair isn’t the only thing getting cut!
Grampa: Three hours and one second. Record broken!
Make Beefy Bishop Lose His Temper- 4hrs, Earns $275, 70xp
Make Moe Get Thrown Out- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Grampa: So much for not getting mad.
The Beefy Bishop: I’m getting madder hearing you say that!
Grampa: I mighta overstayed my welcome.

Cut the Beef Pt. 2
Beefy Bishop starts

The Beefy Bishop: Hey, Ned. You want the usual?
Ned: Not this time, barber-ino! I need a new look. Something that says “I love the Lord more than you do”.
The Beefy Bishop: I’ve got just the thing.
Make Beefy Bishop Give Ned a Bad Haircut- 1hr, Earns $105, 26xp
The Beefy Bishop: What do you think of that haircut?
Grampa: I’m not sure. Does it look a little Seventeenth Century Mohican?
The Beefy Bishop: The Seventeenth Century is back again. Now you can reach the troubled youth of today.
Ned: You’re not only a beefy barber, you’re a brilliant barber!

Cut the Beef Pt. 3
Beefy Bishop starts

Bart: Eat my shorts, borscht breath!
Rasputin: You’re going down!
The Beefy Bishop: This is a Barbershop of God, not some backyard brawl!
Rasputin: I get worked up when brats insult me.
The Beefy Bishop: He’s just a kid!
Rasputin: Not just any kid. He’s Beautiful Bart! He caused me to lose my championship match!
Bart: I don’t know what this gulag gasbag is talking about.
The Beefy Bishop: Young Bart is a saint and I won’t have you bad mouth him. *punches Rasputin*
Make Beefy Bishop Have a Barbershop Brawl- 8hrs, Earns $420, 105xp
Rasputin: You messed up my fresh haircut!
Bart: The barber trimmed too close to your brain, potato head!
The Beefy Bishop: What was that?
Bart: Uh, I said, “barbers ain’t what they used to be”.

Cut the Beef Pt. 4
Beefy Bishop starts

The Beefy Bishop: My barbershop is a mess!
Moe: Yeah, it’s a bigger dump than my bar.
The Beefy Bishop: I thought I kicked you outta here?
Moe: You did. But you didn’t say for how long.
The Beefy Bishop: Permanently if you don’t get the hell outta here now!
Moe: Yeesh, keep your mitre on, padre.
Make Beefy Bishop Repair Barbershop Window- 1hr, Earns $105, 26xp
Azzlan: Pardon me, sir. Have you heard the good news?
The Beefy Bishop: No, but here’s some news for you: no pets allowed!
Jesus Christ: Sorry, Azzlan. Wait outside. You can use a tree for a scratching post.
Azzlan: Religious types are the worst.

Cut the Beef Pt. 5
Beefy Bishop starts

The Beefy Bishop: That lion really creeped me out.
Bart: And he was handing out pamphlets. Who does that when you can clog people’s mailboxes with spam?
The Beefy Bishop: I need to get his bad aura out of my shop.
Bart: Yeah, super retro.
Make Beefy Bishop Bless the Barbershop- 4hrs, Earns $260, 70xp
The Beefy Bishop: Much better. Now, I can only feel the aura of washed up wrestlers and… booze slingers?
Moe: Just like it should be.
The Beefy Bishop: How do you keep getting back in here?!!

And this concludes the premium dialogue for Act 3, of the Simpsons Wrestling Event!

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