Simpsons Wrestling Full Dialogue Act 3: Of Hosses and Hookers

Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!

*Ding Ding Ding* Round 3!

I know it’s a little early, since Act 3 doesn’t officially wrap up until Tuesday morning (when Act 4 starts) (although you technically have until May 13th to finish it)…but, as we head into the weekend, I thought now would be a good time to take a look at the full dialogue for Act 3.  So if you haven’t finished Act 3 yet, don’t panic by seeing this post. You have plenty of time to finish!  I’m just trying to get ahead of the game…

Anyway, enjoy the full dialogue for Of Hosses and Hookers…

Of Hosses and Hookers Pt. 1
Auto starts

Homer: Just give that double A-hole the deed to the power plant so those SEW wrestlers will leave!
Burns: Handing over the plant would be like killing one of my own children. Don’t look that up.
Springfielders Threaten Mr. Burns- x5. 4hrs
Make Burns Give Springfielders the Slip- 4hrs
Collect Foam Fingers-  x200.

Of Hosses and Hookers Pt. 2
Auto starts

Bart: Captain Flag! You Golden Ring Wrestlers have to do something about these SEW jerks!
Captain Flag: I wish we could, son, but SEW took most of us for their own. There’s just a handful of us left. And now all we do are low-paying backyard wrestling matches.
Bart: I got a backyard and a coupon for chicken wings.
Captain Flag: You just got yourself a wrestling match!
Make Bart Pay for Backyard Wrestling- 8hrs
Make Captain Flag Backyard Wrestle- 8hrs
Collect Foam Fingers-  x100.
Captain Flag: And that’s another victory for Truth, Chokeholds, and the American Way!
Bart: God bless America and smart phones! I’m putting that right on ViewTube.

Of Hosses and Hookers Pt. 3
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Milhouse: We gotta do something about these SEW wrestlers!
Bart: I thought they were your new heroes.
Milhouse: They were until I went to get Iron Yuppie’s autograph. He put Puppy Goo-Goo in a Hangman’s Choke and stuffing came out of her ears.
Bart: I know someone who can put the stuffing back in your Goo-Goo — our old, retired wrestling hero, Dr. Bonebreak!
Make Bart Try to Talk Dr. Bonebreak Out of Retirement- 2hrs
Collect Foam Fingers-  x175.
Bart: Dr. Bonebreak! We need you to come out of retirement and beat up these SEW guys!
Dr. Bonebreak: “Thousands of candles can be lit from one happy candle.”
Bart: Yeah, yeah, we can light a buncha candle fires later. Right now we need Headscissors and Hammerlocks!
Dr. Bonebreak: I can’t help. I’m a Buddhist now. Also, call me Dr. Peacenik.

Of Hosses and Hookers Pt. 4
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Bart: A Buddhist?! But Dr. Bone—er… I mean Peacenik, how can you let a bunch of thugs ruin our town?
Milhouse: AND squeeze the stuffing out of my plushie!
Dr. Bonebreak: What we should do is meditate on this together.
Nelson: Simpson! Are you turning your back on the SEW?
Bart: I never had my back any other way! It was all Milhouse.
Nelson: To be fair, I’m going to beat you both up!
Milhouse: That IS fair.
Make Bart Get Beat Up- 4hrs
Make Milhouse Get Beat Up- 4hrs
Collect Foam Fingers-  x150.
Dr. Bonebreak: I’m sorry you got beat up on my account.
Bart: Maybe your Buddha has some words that would make me feel better?
Dr. Bonebreak: … Nah, he’s got nothing.

Of Hosses and Hookers Pt. 5
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Milhouse: But wait, Dr. Peacenik. Didn’t Buddha say, “If you speak always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind”?
Dr. Bonebreak: He said that?
Bart: He also said, “Do today what must be done. Who knows? Tomorrow, death comes.”
Dr. Bonebreak: Boy, this guy sure wouldn’t stop talking.
Make Bart Convince Dr. Bonebreak to Return to Wrestling- 4hrs
Collect Foam Fingers-  x150.
Dr. Bonebreak: You have moved me!
Bart: With the words of Buddha?
Dr. Bonebreak: No. With the beating you took at the hands of those bullies.
Milhouse: Does that mean you’re going to help us?
Dr. Bonebreak: Well let’s just say…IT’S BONEBREAKING TIME! WOO!

And this concludes Act 3, of the Simpsons Wrestling Event!

Thoughts on the third Act? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!

6 responses to “Simpsons Wrestling Full Dialogue Act 3: Of Hosses and Hookers

  1. Corey Barnes

    Are there plans for an act three. The event goes until the 13. Seems early to be done, right?

  2. A Happy May Day / Beltane to all 🌝

    Thank you for publishing this, Alissa (the Writers are doing a great job referencing Simpsons Episodes and lampooning Wrestling down to the ‘kayfabe’!)

    Yeah, EA kinda missed opportunities to do more, along with better Event Prizes in Act 3, but I’m enjoying what I got (maybe Act 4 will perk up?) 😀

    Stay Safe 👍🏻

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