THOH XXXI Premium Questline: Torture Coach

Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!

It’s everyone’s (well almost everyone’s) favorite time in TSTO, the annual Treehouse of Horror Event!  Yes, Halloween in Springfield has always been big deal in TSTO and this year is no exception!

Act 2 of this Event ushered in one new premium character to help navigate this event.  The Torture Coach is an all-new premium character for Springfield, who not only helps earn event currency but also comes with a short questline.

So let’s take a look at the Torture Coach’s questline.  Here’s the full dialogue for More Pain, No Gain…

More Pain, No Gain Pt. 1
Torture Coach starts

Torture Coach: That’s it, class…lift and twist and jab and poke…find where your victim’s pain is most extreme.
Hell Principals: Coach, may I have a word?
Torture Coach: Certainly, boss. Class, keep your pitchforks red hot while I’m gone.
Hell Principals: Sorry to interrupt but I just got off the horn with legal. There’s a complication with your employment contract.
Torture Coach: *gasp* It’s not my benefits, is it? I really need the free daycare. Torture Coach Jr. has grown to love where he is.
Hell Principals: No, no. It seems that when we hired you away from Torment Inc. we overlooked a non-compete clause. You’re going to need to go on a sabbatical until it’s sorted out.
Torture Coach:: Paid?
Hell Principals: Unpaid.
Torture Coach: *sigh* I’ll tell my class to cool their pitchforks.
Make Torture Coach Head to the Bar- 3hrs
Torture Coach: I also found out that sabbatical means loss of daycare, which is why Torture Coach Jr. is with me.
Demon Moe: I don’t give a toot, but he can’t sit at my bar. This may be Hell, but we got laws.
Torture Coach: *sigh* Son, go sit in a booth and Daddy will get you an apple juice.
Demon Moe: Best I can do is an apple martini.
Torture Coach: Just water then.
Demon Moe: If he don’t like martinis he aint gonna like the water either.

More Pain, No Gain Pt. 2
Torture Coach starts

Hell Teacher: Since we broke up, he’s been posting lies about me on Flamebook. He updated his relationship status to “It’s complicated”. What’s complicated, Kevin?! We broke up! It’s pretty simple!
Demon Moe: Yeah, whatever. Sounds like a real pain. You still nursing that drink?
Torture Coach: You should just torture him. Tape his eyelids open and make him watch ’80s workout videos, or cover the iron maiden spikes with sriracha sauce. It’s a classic that I put a twist on.
Hell Teacher: Wow, those are great. I’m gonna do them both! Thanks! *runs out the door*
Demon Moe: You’re pretty good at that torture stuff. You could do that for a living.
Torture Coach: I WAS doing it for a living. But…you’re right. I don’t need some two-headed principal to give me permission to do it! I can torture pro bono!
Demon Moe: You should charge a little…enough to pay your drink tab. I got a business to run here.
Make Torture Coach Go Pro Bono- 1hr
Make Demon Moe Refill the Peanuts- 1hr
Old Scratch: You want me to donate my gym so you can offer torture classes to my customers?
Torture Coach: Full disclosure, I’m gonna record the classes and put them on ViewTube. I can make a heck of a lot more that way than teaching little twerps at Hellementary School.
Old Scratch: I’m gonna need 25% of the take.
Torture Coach: How ’bout 15%!
Old Scratch: How ’bout 20% and I don’t turn you to ash where you stand.
Torture Coach: Sounds like a deal.

More Pain, No Gain Pt. 3
Torture Coach starts

Torture Coach: Alright class…choke up on the bat-o-nails and swing! Put your hips into it!
Hell Scientists Crowd: This is great! I’m learning torture techniques I can use for all eternity AND getting a workout!
Torture Coach: Kevin, look into the camera when you say that. And those of you watching at home, don’t forget to like, subscribe, and smash that notification bell.
Make Torture Coach Demonstrate Proper Nail Bat Technique- 8hrs
Old Scratch: So how are we doing with revenue on our ViewTube channel?
Torture Coach: Building revenue takes time.
Old Scratch: I’ll live forever but I don’t want to wait forever. Now show Old Scratch some scratch!
Torture Coach: We’re up to…fourteen cents. 20% of that is 2.8 cents. You want it now?

More Pain, No Gain Pt. 4
Torture Coach starts

Torture Coach: Keep running! Get those knees up! Higher! *snaps whip*
Hell Teacher: I thought you were teaching US to torture, not to BE tortured!
Torture Coach: In order to dole out torment one must feel the torment. Therein lies true enlightenment.
Hell Scientists Crowd: But we didn’t ask for enlightenment. We just wanted to learn some cool torture tips!
Torture Coach: You get what you paid for. And you paid nothing. Now RUN!
Make Torture Coach Whip Class Into Shape- 4hrs
Old Scratch: Alright, so I paid for your new camera, lights, microphones and your wardrobe…
Torture Coach: I can’t look like a schlub on ViewTube.
Old Scratch: And I’ve made a grand total of… *checks ViewTube account* one dollar and thirty-four cents.
Torture Coach: Um…may I remind you—
Old Scratch: Yes, I know! 20% of one dollar and thirty-four cents!!

More Pain, No Gain Pt. 5
Torture Coach starts

Hell Principals: Coach, it looks like everything is fine now. We’ve cleared up the concern over your non-compete clause with Torment Inc.
Torture Coach: I hope our lawyers raked them over the coals!
Hell Principals: Uh…our lawyers asked nicely, and they said they didn’t remember you.
Torture Coach: *gasp* After all the years I tortured for that company…
Make Torture Coach Mope Back to Hellementary School- 2hrs
Torture Coach: Alright, kids. Today’s lesson…lightning bolt electroshock.
Beelzebart: I’m so glad to have you back.

And this concludes the Torture Coach’s questline.

Thoughts on the event?  Did you buy the Torture Coach? Thoughts on the dialogue? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!