Cirque du Springfield Act 1 Full Dialogue: Super Freak

Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!

As we prepare for Act 2 of the Cirque du Springfield event to start next week, it’s time to wrap up Act 1 with a pretty little bow…in the form of the hilarious dialogue!

So here’s a look at the full dialogue for Super Freak…just in case you missed it by tapping too fast…

Three-Ring Circus
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Milhouse: Bart, when’s it my turn?
Bart: You’ll get your turn when I say it’s your turn.
Milhouse: I thought when I shared my remote-control airplane, we’d actually SHARE it!
Bart: We ARE sharing it. I get to fly it, and you get to watch me.
Milhouse: Bart, look out! You’re going to crash into that tent! *toy airplane crashes*
Bart: *hands over controller* Okay, NOW it’s your turn.
Burnsum: Confound it. Who barn stormed my big top?! I forbid any looky-loos looky-looing at my extravaganza!
Bart: Extravaganza? What the heck is this?
Burnsum: Only the most popular circus in the world. The Burnsum and Bailey Circus!
Bart: Sure it is, P.T. Blowhard.
Burnsum: You’ll dance to a different calliope when you see the greatest freak show on Earth!
Bart: Freak show?! I’m in!
Make Bart Check Out the Circus– 6s
Make Milhouse Try to Find His Toy Airplane- 6s
Bart: Mom! Dad! There’s a circus in town with a freak show. I’ve got to get my freak on!
Marge: The Ding-A-Ling Bros. Circus has been in town for years.
Homer: Pass. I’ve ding-dong-ditched those Ding-A-Lings.
Marge: You’re still mad that they threw you out? You took the elephant’s peanuts.
Homer: Big deal. He wasn’t eating them.
Marge: He was about to but you sucked them out of his trunk.
Bart: Ding-A-Ling Bros. Circus is yesterday’s news. I’m talking about the Burnsum and Bailey Circus.
Homer: Ooh, new peanuts in town?
Marge: A new circus does sound fun. But leave the elephants’ peanuts alone!
Homer: Ah, c’mon!

Super Freak Pt. 1
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Lisa: So what should we see next?
Bart: Freak show! Freak show!
Lisa: That sounds horrible.
Bart: It’s not what you think…or maybe it is. C’mon. I wanna pound a nail into the Human Pin Cushion.
Marge: Hold your show horses. We came here to spend time together as a family.
Homer: Then as a family, let’s check out the Amazing Smoking Monkeys. They’re so funny with their hacking coughs.
Bart: And then after, we hit the Tower of Tetanus rollercoaster!
Marge: How about the Hall of Mirrors? Those things make me look so goofy. Which I never am. *chuckles*
Bart: …or we could taunt the Elephant Pyramid with churros and watch them fall over.
Lisa: Ooh, we’re late. The main event is starting!
Marge: Darn. We must’ve spent too much time at the giraffe high wire show. Alright, everyone, let’s hustle.
Make Homer Go to the Main Event – 4hrs
Make Marge Go to the Main Event – 4hrs
Make Bart Go to the Main Event – 4hrs
Make Lisa Go to the Main Event  – 4hrs
Collect Circus Peanuts- x115. 4hrs 

Super Freak Pt. 2
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Burnsum: And now, the tantalizing, trapezing Marguerite will perform her death-defying dive of doom!
Bart: Ugh “death-defying”? But we paid for death-EMBRACING!
Homer: Don’t worry, boy. She also performs her famous flop of fatality!
Lisa: Flip or flop, there she goes!
Marge: I’ve seen a lot of these moves trying to get Maggie into a bath.
Marguerite: *bows* Thank you all for supporting the circus. Be sure to tip your peanut vendor.
Burnsum: I now invite you all to join us in the Freak Show Tent to meet our performers.
Lisa: Ugh, I won’t support a venture that refers its own employees as freaks! It’s inhumane.
Homer: I’ll buy you cotton candy.
Lisa: Well, maybe I could take a peek.
Make Homer Go to the Freak Show Tent- 4hrs
Make Marge Go to the Freak Show Tent- 4hrs
Make Bart Go to the Freak Show Tent- 4hrs
Make Lisa Go to the Freak Show Tent – 4hrs
Collect Circus Peanuts- x115. 4hrs 

Super Freak Pt. 3
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Homer: Wow, there’s every oddity on earth in here!
The Human Donkey: You’re staring at me but I’m staring at you, fat man. Hee-haw!
Homer: Ooh, they even have a strongman! How would you like a steel rod bent over your head?
Bart: You know I would!
Burnsum: And over here, folks, is our trapeze star and most grotesque of all, Marguerite!
Marge: Marguerite, I just loved your performance. But…looking at you, you don’t seem freaky at all.
Marguerite: Oh, thank you but I have a hazel speck in my left eye.
Human Snail Guy: *shudders* Horrifying, isn’t she?!
Marge: Not at all, Human Snail Guy. Imperfections make everyone more interesting.
Human Snail Guy: Then you’ll love the slime trail I leave behind.
Marge: Yuck! Not all imperfections.
Make Marge Talk Marguerite’s Ear Off- 4hrs
Make Bart Shoot Spitballs at The Human Donkey- 4hrs
Make Lisa Feel Icky Inside- 4hrs
Collect Circus Peanuts- x115. 4hrs
Homer: Wow, Strongman. How can I get a body like yours? Get reborn and try a do-over. That was rude. I thought freaks were a merry bunch.
Human Snail Guy: Yes, that’s us, alright. Frolicking around a filthy tent in sawdust without a care in the world.
Homer: You can frolic?
Human Snail Guy: I’m a human snail. My frolicking only involves dodging salt.
Bart: Then dodge salted peanuts and frolic for the customers!
Human Snail Guy: *sigh* Yesterday it was pretzels.

Super Freak Pt. 4
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Barney: Thanks for inviting me to the circus, Homer. Now explain why beer here tastes better than Moe’s? *burps*
Homer: That’s because circus beer is actually beer. Moe’s is a blend of things that aren’t beer.
CBG: I must admit everything under the big top is much more thrilling than I gave it credit.
Kumiko: What was your favorite part?
CBG: It would have to be the yard-long hot dogs. I’ve eaten a football field’s worth.
Wiggum: And they just shot the biggest hot dog I’ve ever seen out of that cannon!
Lou: Chief, that big “hot dog” was a circus performer.
Wiggum: Then that cannon cooked him pretty good. He had grill marks and everything.
Marge: These old-time acts take me back to when I was a child.
Homer: You went to the circus as a kid?
Marge: All the time. I had to retrieve Patty and Selma. They were always running off to join as Bearded Ladies.
Homer: I take issue with the “ladies” part.
Make Marge Reminisce About Her Early Years- 4hrs
Make Barney Enjoy Free Refills- 4hrs
Make Comic Book Guy Gorge on Hot Dogs- 4hrs
Make Wiggum Research Cannons – 4hrs
Collect Circus Peanuts- x155. 4hrs
Grampa: In my day the circus cost a nickel and that included a poking stick to taunt the tigers.
Burnsum: Our entry fees are still a nickel.
Grampa: Hot diggity! Gimme a stick and point me toward the man-eaters!
Homer: How can you afford to keep the circus animals fed at these prices?
Burnsum: The trick is short poking sticks. When the oldsters get too close…voila! Senior sirloins!
Homer: We should have brought Grampa here years ago!

Super Freak Pt. 5
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Burnsum: And that concludes the Burnsum and Bailey Circus! I hope you all enjoyed the show! Now everyone out! Lingerers will be stomped by elephants.
Bart: Hey Burnsum, where’s the Bailey?
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: I’m Bailey — Burnsum’s old partner! And I’m back to challenge Burnsum for the Springfield audience! As if you could out-circus my Ding-A-Ling.
Burnsum : You’re too late, Bailey. I’ve already won these simpletons over. Ding-A-Ling Bros. Circus is old news.
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: Over my dead body!
Burnsum: That can be arranged. Bring in the cannon!
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: You’re not blasting me anywhere! And I’m not giving up Springfield without a fight!
Burnsum: Then it’ll be a fight to the death — my prancing ponies against your dancing poodles!
Make Marge Feel Uncomfortable- 4hrs
Make Homer Get Cotton Candy for the Road- 4hrs
Make Bart Still Be Unclear Who Bailey Is- 4hrs
Make Lisa Explain It – 4hrs
Collect Circus Peanuts- x195. 4hrs

And that’s it my friends, the full Act 1 dialogue for Cirque du Springfield! Stay tuned tomorrow for Act 2 to start!

Thoughts on the Act 1 dialogue?  Prize track? Where do you think the story is heading?  Sound off in the comments below, you know we love hearing from you!