Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
Level 47 hit our Tapping Devices way back to the Halloween Event & with it Freddy Quimby arrived in town, to show us all that he “did not inhale, have relations with that woman, or falsify reports regarding WMDs”.
While we’ve had the Turbo Tappin’ walkthrough up since the update first hit (you can view it here) I know many of you still love going back and reading old walkthroughs (especially when we’re in a bit of a TSTO update holding pattern). They’re great if you missed any of the dialogue while playing the level (especially since this one was released a few months ago), or if you just want to know what to expect when you reach Level 47. So for those that may have missed it (or for those of you that want to live it again)…I bring you the man, the myth, the legend Freddy Quimby…
The Cost of Living Pt. 1
Mayor Quimby: I’ve got money. I’ve got influence. I’ve got much younger women. I am the er-uh epitome of success! And yet no one respects me. It’s as if wearing a sash doesn’t carry the cachet it once did. It’s time to remind the people why I got into politics – the enormous displays of wealth!
Build the Quimby Compound- $1,000,000, 24hrs
Quimby: The Quimby Compound was worth every embezzled penny. And I, uh, taught those orphans an important lesson about living without doors. I, on the other hand, have hundreds of doors for my five floors, four wings, three kitchens, two spas, and a partridge in a pear tree. Bronzed, of course.
Freddy: Hiya, Uncle. I, uh, got kicked out of limbo’s country club so I’m back! The movers have already moved the maid into my room.
Quimby: Then you tell them to move her back! She’s a sexual harassment suit waiting to happen for me.
The Cost of Living Pt. 2
Freddy: Now that I’ve finished selecting my butler, it’s time to party like it’s going on Viewtube! Where’s my box of cats?
Quimby: Freddy, as the Mayor of Springfield, I’m expected to uphold a certain level of decorum. That’s why I do all my dirty dealings in back alleys and sleazy motels.
Freddy: Don’t worry, Uncle. I’ve learned the Quimby code of discretion from my father, Clovis. He’s the master! So discrete we haven’t even seen him since he boarded that small plane years ago.
Quimby: Well, I’m pretty sure this year isn’t an election year, so we deserve to treat ourselves.
Make Freddy Quimby Drink Irresponsibly- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp
Make Miss. Springfield Enjoy an Evening with the Mayor (if you have Miss. S)- 3m, Earns $12, 4xp
The Cost of Living Pt. 3
Quimby: Butler, for breakfast, I’ll have the hair of the dog that bit me… so I can make it into a coat. Plus some booze.
Wiggum: Your breakfast is on Springfield’s dime today. Welcome to the drunk tank, Mister Quimby!
Freddy: Joke’s on you – my breakfast is on Springfield’s dime everyday. And since I don’t remember anything I did last night and truly horrible acts are said to haunt you forever, I must be innocent. I’d like my car and my complimentary gift bag.
Wiggum: You’ll get your complimentary gift bag on your day in court! *sigh* That sounded a lot more menacing in my head.
Make Freddy Quimby Await His Day in Court- 12hrs, Earns $420, 100xp
The Cost of Living Pt. 4
Wiggum: Alright Freddy, time to get you to the courthouse for your arraignment. Plus a little extra time at Lard Lad’s. The Wig’s got a craving for D-nuts.
Lou: I keep telling you, Chief — neither of those nicknames is going to catch on.
Freddy: You’re making a mistake, Wiggum. Don’t you understand that I’m rich?
Wiggum: Son, I’ve been making mistakes since the day I was born. I came out feet first. And sure, the justice system is just a dog and pony show if you’re rich. Or cleaning up after a dog and pony show if you’re poor. But we’ve got to go anyway.
Make Freddy Quimby Make a Court Appearance- 12hrs, Earns $420, 100xp
Judge Snyder: Frederick Quimby, you have been charged with a cornucopia of crimes, including defiling a cornucopia. Which, according to the Pilgrims who wrote our town charter, is punishable by death. How do you plead?
Blue-Haired Lawyer: Your Honor, you could hear how he pleads, or you could wrap this up and enjoy a complimentary lobster lunch buffet. As a man of the law, you must agree that letting all this lobster go to waste is itself a crime.
Judge Snyder: ….
BHL: Fine, my client pleads not guilty.
Testify! Pt. 1
Judge Snyder starts
Judge Snyder: Let’s start with the witnesses.
BHL: There are witnesses?! What is the point of having money if it can’t silence people?
Judge Snyder: Waylon Smithers, please take the stand and deliver your testimony.
Make Smithers Testify- 4hrs, Earns $350, 90xp (requires Judge Snyder)
Judge Snyder: Mister Smithers, ignoring protocol, we have sworn you in on the Malibu Stacy Bible you brought from home. Now please tell us what you saw that night.
Smithers: It was in between Mr. Burns’ bedtime and his 4:00 AM “FDR got elected to a fifth term” nightmare. I stopped into Moe’s for a flirtini, when Mister Quimby here showed up with a woman of loose morals.
Princess Kashmir: The only thing loose about me is my willingness to take off my clothes for money. Everything else is off limits. Unless you pay me.
Smithers: Mister Quimby forced me to be his “wingman” and dragged me all over town.
Freddy: You should be on trial for being the worst wingman ever! You said there’d be hotties at that Steelworkers Sausage Fest. There weren’t even sausages… just lots of men!
Testify! Pt. 2
Judge Snyder starts
Judge Snyder: Selma Bouvier, please take the stand and deliver your testimony.
Make Selma Testify- 4hrs, Earns $350, 9oxp (requires Judge Snyder)
Judge Snyder: Ms. Bouvier, please tell the court what you saw that night.
Selma: Only if you tell the court if you’re single or not…
Judge Snyder: Not a chance.
Selma: Fine. Freddy and I crashed into each other outside of the Steelworkers Sausage Fest. Literally crashed – with our cars. Luckily I shaved my legs just a few months ago, so I was able to charm my way into a ride back to town with him. Sure, he was drunk and concussed, but he hadn’t left me for dead, so I thought the date was going well. Right up until he drove off a bridge into the river, and left me for dead. Thank god buoyancy is my greatest skill.
Judge Snyder: This is not looking good for you, Mister Quimby.
Freddy: No, your honor, in the light of day, SHE’S not looking good!… I mean no comment.
Testify! Pt. 3
Judge Snyder starts
Judge Snyder: Kirk Van Houten, please take the stand and deliver your testimony.
Make Kirk Testify- 4hrs, Earns $350, 9oxp (requires Judge Snyder)
Judge Snyder: Mr. Van Houten, please tell the court what you saw that night.
Kirk: When I heard a knock on the door, I thought those girl scouts had a change of heart and wanted to give me back my hat. But instead Freddy burst in soaking wet, and challenged me to a drinking contest. Since I had to sell part of my liver to pay Luann’s alimony during the divorce, I asked if I could have juice instead. But by then he was already hitting the whiskey, and on my wife.
Luann: When we got back together, we agreed anything before second base isn’t cheating.
Kirk: You need to learn the rules of baseball, Luann! Anyway, he said my crying was harshing the mood so he stumbled off, but not before he did unspeakable things to our mailbox.
Judge Snyder: Tampering with the mail system – a federal crime! Your list of offenses, like Superhero movies, just keeps getting longer. Who says Judge Reinhold is the only funny judge?
Freddy: That’s it? Pshaw! As long as you don’t call that dancing girl to the stand, I’ll be home before my chow-dah gets cold.
BHL: Your honor, all comments muttered under my client’s breath are to be considered hearsay.
Bonus if you buy Princess Kashmir you’ll get the rest of Freddy’s story.
The Cost of Living Pt. 5
Freddy: They found me, ah, guilty on all charges. The court is going to throw the, ah, book at me!
Quimby: Trust the, ah, system, Freddy.
Freddy: But the justice system fails all the time! Why should I trust it?
Quimby: Not the justice system. The system of, ah, Ivy League graduates and family connections! To the Rolodex!
Make Quimby Call in Favors- 12hrs, Earns $840, 200xp
The Cost of Living Pt. 6
Judge Snyder starts
BHL: Freddy, it’s time to hear the sentence. Now remember, good or bad, we still walk out of that courtroom with our heads held high and my retainer fully paid.
Make Judge Snyder Deliver a Sentence- 12hrs, Earns $420, 100xp
Freddy: Your honor, before you read the sentence I’d like to say a few words.
Judge Snyder: It probably would have been smarter to have said those words before the trial was over, but I have no one to go home to, so alright.
Freddy: I did not inhale, have relations with that woman, or falsify reports regarding WMDs. One of those should get me out of this mess, right?
Quimby: I have something to say, Your, uh, Honor! There’s a new municipal by-law, issued this morning, that you, ah, must be aware of. It states “charges against any public figure must be reduced if the defendant regrets that he, or the less likely she, is caught. The defendant may also publicly enter any twelve-step program, but does not have to complete it. And may apologize on national television, but doesn’t have to mean it.”
The Cost of Living Pt. 7
Freddy: I can’t believe this! They gave me indefinite house arrest!
Quimby: Thanks to my buddy Gerry Mandering at city hall, your “house” now covers all of Springfield. He’s a whiz at rezoning – he calls it Mandermania.
Freddy: But what if I want French Caviar? Or Chinese Silk? Or Turkish Delight?
Quimby: All of those women make house calls and you know it. And if you follow the rules, you might get time off for good behavior.
Freddy: Rules? You mean like take off my shoes while inside? Like an animal? You might as well lock me up. Like an animal!
Make Freddie Quimby Enjoy a Privileged Life- 24hrs, Earns $600, 150xp
And with that Level 47 is complete!
This was a fun little update when it hit in a few months ago and the dialogue is still pretty funny! They really hit on some funny events in a way that only The Simpsons can!
What did YOU think of Level 47? How about Freddy’s Dialogue? Did you enjoy the questline? Where have you placed the Quimby Compound in your Springfield? Sound off in the comments below, you know we love hearing from you!