Why the Supercollider and Black Hole are the Most Important Things in My Springfield


There are many reasons why the Super Collider and the Mini Black Hole are two of my favorite aspects of TSTO…ever.

Ever is a long time…but, as we all know, time is relative. Ask Einstein. In fact, time is merely a construct of THIS space/time, and one of the things that bounds us all here, according to most who subscribe to the Standard Model of Physics.

And then there are those folks who are starting to come to the realization that there may in fact be more to the “spooky science” of quantum physics, and are beginning to unravel some of the “laws” that have been just a tad shaky from the beginning. Plank, Bohrs, Higgs, Schrödinger, and countless others, are those who realized that time, space, and our consciousness, may have more to do with aspects far outside of the “Standard Model” and traditional studies of atomic science. It’s in the sub-atomic world…where particles and waves can be the same, and actions beyond the constant of the speed of light, may be the standard, where things get really interesting.

Oh. And the constant fear that tinkering with the most basic elements by causing particle collisions at almost light speed, could open up a hole in the fabric of the universe, which would suck our entire existence into another dimension almost instantly.

These were real fears (by some) in 2012 when physicists at the Large Hadron Collider at CERN in Geneva, Switzerland were nearing their initial quest to prove the validity of the much-vaunted “God Particle” (The Higgs Boson), at the same time that others (less enlightened) were counting down the final days of the world, because the Mayan Calendar supposedly ended December 12th, 2012. (Remember that Update??)

Ok then.


Oh…and TSTO had just re-launched…and the TreeHouse of Horrors XXIII had just run, with a special segment about how Springfield’s Supercollider had spawned a mini-black hole, that was threatening to eat up everything…and was growing larger, because Homer and others, were using it as a way to get rid of garbage and people.  It was funny time.

The fact is, since having a Near Death Experience in 1995, and getting a glimpse of what may be “the other side of possibilities” as it pertains to space/time, I have been a bit of a “Physics Phreak.” And sometimes, when there is a big discovery, or a “bump in the data” at CERN, it brings it all tumbling back.

And, when it all starts to come to a head, you start playing a game to take your mind off of it all…because it is overwhelming…and the very year that things are starting to come into focus, when the explosion of discoveries begin coming so fast, and furiously, with some of the greatest minds in the world suddenly coming to conclusions that you already knew because of your “cosmic dance,” and it starts to blow your mind completely…with joy, and wonder, and amazement, and some weird sense of triumphant validation that you want to shout it to the mountaintops…but you can’t  because it scares the hell out of your friends and family to think that you almost died…and have never really been the same…and they don’t begin to understand what seems simple, and basic, and perfect to you…and…so…you try to become “normal” again for them…and just watch from a bench…in a park…feeding pigeons into the mini-black hole that is your life.

WOW…OK. So…maybe eating 16 leftover donut holes with two large cups of coffee wasn’t such a good idea. SUPER SUGAR RUSH…who needs hallucinogenic drugs when you have a handful of applesauce and cinnamon donut holes and a 22 oz. coffee?

So…a whole lot of what I wrote is true… except for the part about me sitting on the bench. That’s Grandpa.

I discovered that if you were going to keep your Springfield safe from being enveloped by a black hole…you had to feed it slowly…methodically…and heroically.  That’s Abe for you…a WWII hero, with a failing memory…who gets little or no respect for his accomplishments. He just sits quietly, day after day after day…virtually useless to the “game of life,” except for the fact that by his actions…he is saving the world.

I like Grandpa Simpson. He’s cool…and independent…and weird.


There are days when almost nothing about this existence makes sense to me. Knowing that everything in this creation is connected at a subatomic particle level…where there are no delineations of race, politics, religion or national origin…and then watching us divide everything into camps and tribes, is puzzling. Letting our base instincts of greed and selfishness override what should be an obvious binding with all living things is frustrating. And knowing that traditional science, and traditional religion are just small parts of a bigger picture…but watching the camps deride one another, like political parties, until nothing of substance can be agreed upon…when the answers are so simple…is laughably painful.

Some days…it really is just better to sit on a bench, feed pigeons… and watch.

Get the Collider and the Black Hole…and think of me.


58 responses to “Why the Supercollider and Black Hole are the Most Important Things in My Springfield

  1. Debbie Dovenbrink

    That sounds interesting, may I ask what you experienced?
    What explanations did you find for your experiences?

  2. Great post! I often have various characters sitting on park benches around town. I love your idea about Grandpa, and have moved the black hole over near him. Thanks for the mind-expanding perspective!

  3. Hello COG,
    My fundamental background was encouraged by my grandfather, whom was one of Orstraylya-mate’s original optical/material physicists (his work floats above our beloved globe 😉 His work originated with Instrumental Engineering, but in the ’30s / ’40s he became attached to the Astronomical division within the military. Later, he founded York Optical, a mainstream and popular outlet which became the place to go to consult on advice in admiring our fantastic star show. I began an optical apprenticeship of sorts, but tradgedy struck the scientific world when he passed 1 year into my tutelage…
    COG, this began my quest as it seems familiar events prompted you:)

  4. Patric, ever get the feeling they are not telling us the real reason they built the hadron collider? I’ve watched the “atoms” colliding and to me it looks like CG nonsense. Any thots?

    • LOL…well, the stuff that keeps me interested, is that they continue to find “new layers” of particles that seem to be communicating at infinite distances, simultaneously. Once you break down the basic “throttle” of the Standard (speed of light being the limitation) the chance to discover not only other forms of existence, but a realm of external existence (outside of this space/time while connected to this space/time) gets to be more probable.

      I know. Go take a nap, old man!

      But, my real concern is that they push the limits a tad too far, and open up something that should remain closed! LOL!

      Science is pretty interesting. We don’t really fully begin to understand Quantum science…and yet, we are able to make the basics work for us in everything from quantum computing to cell phones. Data that is in two places/states at the same time…now THAT gets interesting.

  5. Great post 😜 I realised I have the Super Collider but for some reason never did the quest for the black hole. How can I activate the quest? Thank 💙

    • Try storing and replacing it…see that if that works..

    • You should get another black hole from the regular questline…

      • You can remove the “should” from your answer.

        • Yeah, was caught out by this…
          I bought the Supercollider last time but the blackhole and quest didn’t come with it at that time.
          I noticed when this event kicked off, a black hole appeared in the store and for 10 donuts I had to have it…
          And then of course the Supercollider quest kicked in and I received another.
          Kinda peeved that EA “released” the black hole before the quest, I’d bet a few TSTOTappers may have been caught out too?

  6. Patric, you certainly read the future correctly regarding the free donuts issued yesterday.
    Just an incentive to purchase the new goodies available in the store today !

  7. I have two (free) black holes in front of the Super Collider. I one is rotating to the left, the other is rotating to the right. Which strangely cool to me 🙂

  8. I am curious to hear more about this Near-death-experience you speak of. (Perhaps you already posted about it somewhere, or maybe it’s too personal) you have my attention though.

    Black Holes are fascinating for sure. Perhaps the cause of this Big Bang thing people talk about, and with Multiple black holes in existence -imagine the possibilities!

    I mention space/time in most of my posts and I can talk about it until there isn’t any more Space in this comment box, but I don’t have the Time :p

    unrelated, I noticed your Simpsonized Self shaved… unless you got a little too close to a black hole yourself :p

    • Lol. Old post. Old image. Too lazy to add the beard.

      The NDE was a life-changer…came with more info than I could process for quite a while.

      But all is good…science is finally catching up!

      I’ll give you a shout out by email, if you want to hear more about the NDE.

  9. Pat, you are a weird dude.

  10. Great post. I’m curious what you thought of the movie interstellar. That movie and one called Another Earth are my favorites on this subject. Then there was a Philip K. Dick story I read along time ago, can’t remember the name. Anyways, I’m digging this event so far. I got the collider and black hole a long time ago and I love them.

  11. So is the soul extraction institute, with robotic mr burns and Smithers for 100 donuts actually two new charters or just two new outfits for our previously owned mr. Burns and Smithers?!?

  12. excellent post. it is all definitely “laughably painful”

  13. How many black holes are included with the supercollider if you buy it now? One? Zero? Then can you buy more for donuts later? For how much? I’m confused and not sure what exactly you get for the initial 70 donuts.

    • 1 via the questline

      • You don’t get a black hole for the 70, you have to pay an additional 10 donuts for. Not clear and disappointing.

        • No. The Black Hole comes with the Collider. You just have to do the questline first. Once you’ve finished the questline you will get one…

          You pay 10 donuts for additional black holes beyond the one you get with the Collider.

          Again, you will not instantly get a black hole when you purchase the collider. You have to do the questline that’s with it first…and then you’ll get one. (Bart MUST be free)

  14. I have three black holes in my Springfield, two at the driveway of the supercollider spinning in oposite detections just for fun physics and one just inside the gate of the compound that holds my PolyVac, ever since I was a kid and watched the Disney film The Black Hole I have wanted to fly into one just to see the other side or just to have my molecules spread across the infinite universe, either way it would be an epic way to check out of existence.☯

  15. I purchased the collider and panicked that I didn’t have the black hole until o realised you have to start the quest line, I then went into my store and bought another, I wish it had a bonus on it like other premium items.

  16. I also like to have explanations behind everything that’s going on in my town. Just one example: Behind Monsarno I have 3 rakes so I always send SSB to meet his raker there, they’re placed just like in the classic episode “Cape Feare” and right next to them I have the Chrono bike so Declan rides it to watch SSB getting hit over and over again.

  17. I keep searching for the mini black hole. Where is it?

  18. Nothing is real.

  19. I’m not sure whether or not to wait it out for other premium deals to pop up, and get it at the last minute (if there ain’t anything I don’t like), or to get it now, and potentially miss out later. Having read the SIB, I’m in 2 minds about it…I really want it, and I already have Frink so…I’m conflicted!

  20. I love the black holes and I got super collider before also cranky old guy or Patrick I like it how grampa feed the black hole. BTW cannot wait for new Simpsons, family guy, flash, arrow and DC legends of tomorrow, and I’m getting PlayStation 4 when vr come out soibe getting that to. And LIKE THIS POST IF THINK TSTO ADDICTS ARE THE BEST!!!!

  21. Very funny and interesting to read Patric! Love your posts thanks to the change in “crankiness”
    Post made me want to buy the Supercollidor now 😉 LOL!

  22. I got the Collider and Black Hole back in 2012 too, and now I’ve got an extra black hole from Bart’s clogging the toilet task. I wonder where I’ll place it…

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