Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
It’s update time in Springfield! And after 8 years of TSTO, we’re finally tackling Black History Month! No time like the present for EA, huh? What’s in store for us this time? Well, we’re tasked with finding out the history of Dr. Hibbert, Carl, Lou, and the Simpson Family!
Now that we’re wrapping up Act 3 of the event, it’s time to look back at the dialogue. Just in case you missed it by tappin’ too fast…
In the Lukewarm of the Twilight Pt. 1
Ralph: Uncle Lou the cop, will you tell me a story for my school report? You’re my favorite policeman ever!
Wiggum: What about me, Ralph?
Ralph: You’re not even my favorite Daddy ever. That’s Babar!
Lou: How about I tell you the story of my toughest case? The disappearance of Lewis Clark.
Wiggum: Ooh, I never heard this one!
Lou: *sighs* You were there, Chief.
Make Wiggum Pretend He Remembers- 4hrs
Collect Police Badges- x400.
On Job start
Wiggum: Oh right, Lewis! I can’t believe it took me four hours to remember that case. It was just last week!
Lou: The chief and I were playing Narco Polo in the evidence room when Bart Simpson came to report his friend missing.
Bart: I came to report a missing person. Also to turn myself in for a bunch of stuff.On job end:
Lou: I think there’s more to this case than meets the eye. But it’s gonna take some real police work to solve it.
Wiggum: Is that your way of saying I should come along, or I shouldn’t?
Lou: You’re safer where I can see you. *puts on shades* Let’s roll.
In the Lukewarm of the Twilight Pt. 2
Wiggum: Springfield Elementary. Great thinking, Lou. In order to find this kid, we’re gonna have to go undercover… as children.
Lou: That is not why we’re here. Chew on this rawhide bone K9 Officer Scraps left in the squad car. I need to talk to my informant.
Wiggum: Ooh, there’s still some flavor on this thing.
Janey: Well well well, if it isn’t Lou the Cop. I thought I told you I don’t squeal on school grounds. Get lost.
Wiggum: This is your informant?
Lou: She’s my ex-girlfriend’s kid. I used to get truancy tips from her.
Janey: Until you broke up with my mom! You know she uses your favorite T-shirt to mop the floor now.
Lou: Not my 2 Live Crew! That was vintage! Argh. Look kid, what do I have to do to get some info from you?
Janey: *hands over jump rope* This dutch isn’t gonna double itself.
Make Lou and Wiggum Double Dutch- 4hrs
Collect Police Badges- x350.
Wiggum: *panting* Oh God. I can’t breathe.
Lou: We were just turning the ropes, Chief. Alright, Janey. What do you know about this Lewis kid?
Janey: He was one of Bart’s friends years ago, prominent in all his adventures. And then one day, kids like Martin and Nelson were bumped up on Bart’s friend roster, and it was a wrap for ol’ Lewis.
Lou: What do you mean?
Janey: He’d crack a joke or two. But he didn’t keep it up. He didn’t deliver the goods.
Lou: What goods?
Janey: I’m talkin’ punchlines, copper. Catchphrases! Zazz! Lucky for me, Lisa needs girlfriends or I’d be toast too, see.
Lou: What are you going on about, kid?
Janey: You’re pretty dim, gumshoe. *stubs out lollipop* I’ve said too much. If you really wanna get the scoop, check out tonight’s meeting at the community center.
In the Lukewarm of the Twilight Pt. 3
Lou: They’re having some sort of meeting. Now when we go in there, try not to be conspicuous.
Wiggum: I don’t know the meaning of the word, Lou! My vocabulary is very limited.
Lou: *sigh* Just stay back and let me do the talking. See what these people know.
Wiggum: Ugh. Do I have to? My feet hurt. Ooh, there’s cookies and punch!
Make Lou Question Attendees- 4hrs
Collect Police Badges- x375.
Lou: Chester Dupree? We’ve got a few questions for you.
Chester Dupree: Hmph. If it isn’t one of Springfield’s regularly recurring residents. Must be nice, officer.
Wiggum: It is, actually. You should try it.
Chester Dupree: Oh, I’ve been trying! I was introduced in the online game years ago as Bernice’s brother… but I’ve never made it to the “show”. I wonder if it’s because I’m black?
Wiggum: Yeesh. Why does it always have to be about race. Or sex. Or class. Or religion. Or corrupt policing practices. Or…
Lou: What do you know about the disappearance of Lewis Clark?
Chester Dupree: I don’t know where that kid is. I’m trying to keep my dang self from disappearing. Good luck, officers. You’re gonna need it to crack this case.
Gary: Excuse me, officers. I think I may have cracked your case.
Wiggum: Hey, thanks for wishing us that luck, Chester! That guy’s alright.
In the Lukewarm of the Twilight Pt. 4
Gary: While working on my thesis for Prof. Frink’s alternate dimension portal theory class, I invented a portal to an alternate dimension. In theory.
Wiggum: Speak English, Heisenberg!
Lou: Let me guess. You finally watched Breaking Bad.
Wiggum: How’d you know?
Gary: Look, instead of telling you, it’s easier to just show you. Follow me to my lab!
Make Lou and Wiggum Do What the Nerd Said- 4hrs
Collect Police Badges- x400.
Gary: Alright, just step through this portal. You’re going to go to a place that few Springfielders ever come back from.
Wiggum: Whoa! That was the most amazing visual experience. I’m glad we got to see it and not just read about it after it happened.
Lou: Where are we? This place looks familiar… but different. Is that Herman’s Antiques? I haven’t seen that place in years.
Wiggum: And there’s Maison Derriere. And is that Dr. Marvin Monroe? What’s going on here?
Lou: This must be where all of forgotten Springfield goes. The people and places that we meet once, laugh at, then never see again.
Wiggum: Do you think that erotic bakery is here? I really wish we still had that place.
In the Lukewarm of the Twilight Pt. 5
Wiggum: Okay, let’s indiscriminately grab children by the collar until we find this kid.
Lou: There he is!
Wiggum: Aw, I hadn’t even grabbed one yet.
Lou: Lewis, are you alright? The town’s been worried sick about you. Kind of.
Lewis Clark: I don’t know what happened. One second I was sitting two rows behind Milhouse, and the next thing I know, I ended up here.
Lou: Well, you can come with us back to Springfield.
Lewis Clark: I don’t want to. I like it here. I get to eat free chocolate cake at “Zzerts”, and play with my best friend, Richard.
Lewis Clark: Grey-haired kid. Wears a blue jacket. We used to always be next to Bart.
Wiggum: Doesn’t ring a bell AT ALL.
Make Lou and Wiggum Bring Lewis Back to Springfield- 4hrs
Collect Police Badges- x475.
Lou: Welcome back to Springfield, kid. How’s it feel to be home?
Lewis Clark: S’okay. But I better get some freakin’ jokes around this place or I’m going over to Bob’s Burgers.
Bart: You found him! Oh, Lewis, I missed you so much, kind of. Let’s go work on some catchphrases or funny background business for you so this never happens again.
Wiggum: I’m proud of you, Lou. You solved your first case!
Lou: What are you talking about? I’ve solved tons of cases around here.
Wiggum: Oh right. I was thinking about the other cop. What’s his name? Stringy hair. Overbite. He’s always standing next to you.
Lou: Eddie! Crap. We better get back in that alternate dimension thingy and go pick him up.
Wiggum: Let’s roll!
And this concludes the full dialogue for Act 3, of the 2020 Black History Month Event!
Thoughts on the Act 3 dialogue? Lou’s heroic tale? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!