The Van Houtens Act 1 Full Dialogue: Birthday Party for One

Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!

IMPORTANT NOTE: Act 2 is slated to start TOMORROW, August 21stAct 1 isn’t going anywhere, so if you didn’t finish it you’ll still have time to. Look for Act 2 to start around 11am ET.  (1500 UTC)
You’ll need Annika and Milhouse free for the first round of tasks (and those earning event currency).  Also, 1 new premium character combo will be released.  150 donuts for the combo.

Now on with the full dialogue for Act 1…

Claim to Fame
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Milhouse: Hey Bart, let’s go to my house. A bunch of my relatives are in town for my birthday party this weekend.
Bart: That sounds great! But you know what sounds even greater? We go to MY house and finish planning my latest Skinner prank.
Milhouse: But Bart, my pretty cousin Annika is back in town. *wink*
Bart: As tempting as that sounds to my pre-tween hormones — whatever they are — you’re forgetting the banana pecking order. Of which you are most certainly second.
Milhouse: Oh, okay. You know I’m a sucker for fruit prioritization.
Make Milhouse Go to Bart’s House- 6s
Make Bart Show Milhouse His Plans- 6s

Birthday Party for One Pt. 1
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Milhouse: Hey, Bart. This prank looks like an ordinary crowbar.
Bart: It is an ordinary crowbar, doofus. The prank is in this crate I found behind Professor Frink’s lab marked “W.M.H.”
Milhouse: What’s W.M.H.?
Bart: Weapons of Mass Humiliation. At least I hope that’s what it means. Anyway, give me that crowbar.
Milhouse: You’re not gonna hit me with it, are you?
Bart: No, I’m going to open the crate!
Milhouse: *hands over crowbar*
Bart: Then I’m gonna hit you with it.
Make Milhouse Hand Bart a Crowbar- 4hrs
Make Bart Prepare His Latest Prank- 4hrs
Collect Party Hats- 4hrs, x115. 

Birthday Party for One Pt. 2
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Skinner: Alright, children, march into your classrooms. Single file, Indi——uh, indi-genous-people-don’t-find-the-comparison-insensitive style.
Bart: Hey Skinner, look over here.
Skinner: What is that, Simpson? A contraption? A gadget? Or some sort of gizmo?
Bart: Just a little extracurricular science experiment.
Skinner: It better not be for the science fair. I cut that out of the budget last year—AAGGHHH!
Make Bart Activate the Go-Go Ray- 4hrs
Make Milhouse Laugh Hysterically- 4hrs
Collect Party Hats- 4hrs, x95.

Skinner: I can’t stop dancing! And we definitely don’t have the budget for a school dance!
Milhouse: Your Go-Go Ray is a hit, Bart! Even the bullies are impressed!
Jimbo: A modern classic!
Kearney: Magnifique!
Nelson: Haw haw… HAW!
Milhouse: Three haws? Now’s my chance to take advantage of an unprecedented era of good feelings. Attention please! Come one, come all to a birthday extravaganza. All are welcome!
Skinner: I can’t feel my legs! Oh, why did I cut the funding for the school nurse?

Birthday Party for One Pt. 3
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Bart: Happy Birthday, Milhouse!
Milhouse: Thanks, Bart. Great party, huh?
Bart: Not really. All I see are Van Houtens. It’s like a sea of blue hair and big noses.
Milhouse: Well, it makes the face painter’s job easy.
Bart: But where are all the kids?
Milhouse: They should be here soon. They’re probably all on twenty-four hour jobs.
Bart: Maybe. Anyway, I’m gonna hit the corndog cart hard and make that bounce house wish it’d never been inflated.
Make Bart Enjoy the Bounce House All to Himself – 4hrs
Make Milhouse Wait for His Friends- 4hrs
Collect Party Hats- 4hrs, x95. 

Bart: I, for one, am having a great time at your party, but I wish there were other kids here.
Milhouse: I know. The party clown is getting bored. Now he’s just eating his pies instead of throwing them.
Bart: Maybe if your Dad stopped asking him to just make balloon animal pangolins.
Kirk: He’s a practitioner of the elastic arts! Don’t take the gig if you won’t twist the rig!
Bart: So, I don’t think anyone else is coming to the party.
Milhouse: No, you’re probably right.
Bart: Another round of Double Buzz Squishees?
Milhouse: I’ll take mine intravenously!

Birthday Party for One Pt. 4
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Bart: It may be the sugar shock, but I think I see the face of an angel.
Milhouse: Close. It’s my cousin Annika.
Annika: Pathetic American slobs. No wonder your national pastime is diabetes.
Bart: Would you like to share a cupcake?
Milhouse: You bet I would! Oh, you were talking to Annika.
Annika: *Dutch muttering*
Milhouse: That must mean yes!
Make Bart Wipe Cupcake Frosting Off His Cheeks- 4hrs
Make Milhouse Fail to Impress Annika- 4hrs
Collect Party Hats- 4hrs, x155.
Bart: Man, your cousin is so cool. She’s like next-level cool. She’s Euro-cool.
Milhouse: She’s probably the coolest Van Houten in history.
Bart: Catch up, boy, we’re way past that. Her kind of cool can’t be contained. Anyone in close proximity to her would start to exude cool.
Milhouse: They would, wouldn’t they…?

Birthday Party for One Pt. 5
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Milhouse: Please, Annika. Pleeeaaaaaasssseeee!
Annika: No, Milhouse. I will not pretend to be your girlfriend. You know we’re related, right?
Milhouse: We’re not any closer than my parents. Or yours.
Annika: But you’re a fourth grader and I’m an older teenager of an indiscriminate age.
Milhouse: Exactly. Besides, it would really cut down on my swirly per diem.
Annika: Wait, do you get bullied in school?
Milhouse: I wouldn’t say bullied. My friends act violently to express their affection. For hurting me.
Annika: *sigh* Fine. I will go along with your ruse. Pretending to be something I’m not should make me fit right in here in America.
Make Milhouse Shout With Joy- 4hrs
Collect Party Hats- 4hrs, x195. 

And this concludes the full dialogue for Act 1, of the Van Houtens!

Thoughts on the dialogue? Act 1?  Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!

2 responses to “The Van Houtens Act 1 Full Dialogue: Birthday Party for One

  1. Thanks to Annika (and TSTO), Spijkerpoepen will be the best in joke between Tappers ! 🤣

    Bring on Act 2!

  2. Looks like it’s that time again!
    • • •
    Time to flip some trap trucks for the new premium character (& possibly building combo).

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