Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
Who’s up for another prize post? Yea, me either…but they still must be done! Otherwise, what else would I refer people back to when they ask what something does 6 months from now? Act 3 of the 2020 Christmas event consists of 2 new decorations, 1 group, 1 building, and one new character.
Lucky for us, the first prize in Act 3 is a full character…Moses! So that’s the very first item we’ll breakdown for the Act 3 prize post…
Moses is a brand new character for Springfield and part of the Clash of Creeds: Christmas Royale Character Collection:
How You Unlock it:
Tire Fire and Brimstone Pt. 1
Make Rabbi Krustofsky Pray for Divine Guidance-4hrs
Make Ned Out-Pray Rabbi Krustofsky- 4hrs
Collect Menorahs- x150
Once achieved you’ll unlock the character…
WDTCF:“Clown in the Dumps” S26, E1 (and a variety of others)
Moses does come with a full questline, however, that questline doesn’t trigger until you’ve completed the Act 3 prize track. So don’t worry if you don’t see the questline start once you unlock him…it’ll launch once you’ve unlocked the final Act 3 prize. Anyway, here’s a look at Moses’ questline:
The Chain of Command Pt. 1
Yahweh: First the Christians, then the Movementarians, and now the Burnsentarians? We’re getting our hats handed to us!
Moses: To be fair, the other religions don’t really have hats.
Yahweh: It’s not about the hats! We’re losing market share, and you need to turn it around ASAP!
Moses: Me? I’ve got my hands full with the Israelites. How about Noah? He spends all his time working on that boat — and he never even takes it out on the water.
Noah: It just needs one more coat of sealant.
Yahweh: You know why I don’t want Noah? Because he’s like his ark — washed up!
Noah: I used to pack them in back in flood times, boss!
Yahweh: How many millennia ago was that?
Noah: A few.
Yahweh: When I want someone to rescue a goat for me, I’ll talk to Noah. You’re the right person for this, Moses. You’re my number one rep. Just use the ABC method. Always. Be. Converting.
Moses: Okay but…seeing as you are all powerful, maybe you should just, you know, MAKE them follow you?
Yahweh: Maybe I should MAKE you into a rabbit!
Moses: All right, all right, I’m going!
Make Moses Help Sort Out the Town’s Problems- 4hrs
Make Yahweh Meet God for Brunch- 4hrs
Yahweh: He ran so fast he left his sandals behind! It was priceless!
God: I love it. When you’re the Creator, they just let you do it!
Yahweh: I know. Oh my God, you should’ve seen his face.
God: Hey, watch the language man. There’s no need to be taking my name in vain.
Yahweh: Jesus, you have to be offended by everything.
God: Don’t bring him into this!
The Chain of Command Pt. 2
Moses: Tell me, Reverend, what is in the heart of the people here? How do we bring them back to the Lord?
Lovejoy: Don’t know, don’t care.
Moses: Perhaps that attitude explains the sparse attendance at your services.
Lovejoy: What part of “don’t care” don’t you understand? We’re kind of a Christmas-and-Easter congregation, and that works for us. The rest is train time.
Moses: I see that I must consult someone with greater insight into the spiritual needs of this community.
Make Moses Go See Lindsay Naegle- 2hrs
Make Lindsay Naegle Conduct Market Research- 2hrs
Lindsay Naegle: According to our research, your commandments are seen as “stern”, “unfriendly”, and “shalt-y”. Comments included, “Reminds me of something my old roommate would put on the fridge”, and “I shalt give this guy plenty of side-eye”. Is there any chance we could lose the commandments?
Moses: Lose them? The commandments are our brand!
Lindsay Naegle: In that case, we’d better turn to the ultimate source of truth: a focus group!
The Chain of Command Pt. 3
Lindsay Naegle: Okay, what sort of things do you think you should be commanded not to do?
Moe: I don’t want to say, because I’m so ashamed of ’em — and ’cause I don’t want to stop doing ’em.
Lenny: Thou shalt not hang around with the same boring people every night?
Carl: Thou shalt not bring up the same argument every night?
Homer: Thou shalt not kill the buzz.
Barney: Thou shalt not NOT spend every night drinking in a bar.
Lindsay Naegle: What about gossip? How do we feel about prohibiting that?
Helen Lovejoy: That reminds me! Thou shalt never believe what I heard about Sarah Wiggum!
Lindsay Naegle: Are there any positive commandments you’d like to be ordered to obey?
Barney: Thou shalt rest on the Sabbath by drinking in the street.
Homer: Thou shalt find the keys to a new car under your chair!
Make Moses Analyze the Focus Group Results- 2hrs
Make Focus Group Suggest More Commandments- x5. 2hrs (Moe, Lenny, Carl, Homer, Barney, Helen Lovejoy)
Lindsay Naegle: Our research found 537 commandments that tested better than your existing ten. The highest-rated commandment overall was: Go Big or Go Home.
Moses: Well that should be pretty easy to carve.
Lindsay Naegle: The whole stone-tablets things tested badly, too. According to our testing, it should be written on a pizza — in pepperoni. And served with ranch.
Yahweh: Ranch on pizza? Maybe it is time to dust off the old smiting stick.
The Chain of Command Pt. 4
Moses: People of Springfield, thank you for meeting here today for the grand unveiling of the Springfield Commandments, sponsored by Bloodbath & Beyond Gun Shop.
Wise Guy: Home of the second commandment. I mean — second amendment. Whatever, same thing.
Moses: Now if someone could just give me a hand lifting these enormous stone tablets… … No one? Okay, I’ll just read them down on the ground here. Commandment number one: “Thou Shalt Let Your Grandparents Live With You Instead Of Dumping Them at Springfield Retirement Castle”.
Homer: Ah, c’mon!
Moses: Commandment number two: “Thou Shalt Wear Hot Pants Only When The Situation Calls For It”.
Sea Captain: Yarr, ye’ve struck right to the heart of me!
Moses: Commandment number three: “Thou Shalt Konmari Fold All Your Clothes”.
Marge: Well, that doesn’t sound so bad.
Barney: That does NOT spark joy!
Moe: C’mon everybody. Moses is trying to ruin Springfield. Grab your pitchforks!
Nelson: Is this flamethrower okay?
Make Springfielders Chase Moses With Pitchforks- 4hrs
Make Moses Run For His Life- 4hrs
Yahweh: You were chased out of town!
Moses: I’ll be the first to admit that that didn’t go the way I wanted. I’m disappointed in myself.
Yahweh: We’ve got a 0.5 rating. There are ViewTube cults with more followers than us.
Moses: Well, I’ll get back out there and turn this around.
Yahweh: Put the tablets down!
Yahweh: You heard me. Put the tablets down.
Moses: You’re kidding, right?
Yahweh: Do I look like I’m kidding? Commandments are for closers.
Moses: How can I chastise without commandments?
Yahweh: Here’s a commandment for you: Thou shalt hit the bricks. You’re fired! I’ve got a new rep: Gil Gamesh.
Moses: Is he even a monotheist?
Yahweh: We’re just following the numbers here, Moses.
Gil: Ol’ Gil is back, baby! *singing* Summertime and the living is easy!
Moses’ Permanent Tasks:
|Check the Weather for Frogs||1hr||$70, 17xp||Channel 6/KBBL Radio/KJAZZ/Brown House|
|Observe Sins||4hrs||$175, 45xp||Outside/Visual|
|Carve Some More Commandments||8hrs||$275, 70xp||Outside/Visual|
|Attempt to Part Springfield Lake||12hrs||$420, 100xp||Springfield Lake/Catfish Lake/Other Various bodies of water in Springfield|
|Shop for New Sandals||24hrs||$600, 150xp||Victor’s Secret/Gold Navy/The Vast Wasitband/Abercrombie and Rich/Brown House|
And that’s it my friends, the details on Moses…
Up Next? The rest of the Act 3 prize track. I’ll break those down on Thursday…
Thoughts on Moses? Questline? Tasks? Event? Sound off below.