Springfield Choppers Full Dialogue: Springfield Turf Wars

Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!

We’re in the final weekend for the Springfield Choppers mini-event (ends Wednesday 3/31).  As the event winds down it’s time to grab your biker shorts and take a look back at the dialogue for this event, just in case you missed it while tapping to fast!  So here’s the full dialogue for the Springfield Choppers mini-event main questline…

There Goes My Heroes
Auto starts

Bart: The bucket is in position. When Skinner opens that door, he’ll be covered in shrimp.
Milhouse: Abort! Abort! The bullies are in his office and they’re walking out first!
Jimbo: *bucket drops* What the SHRIMPPP?!
Kearney: I’m allergic!
Nelson: Craw-Craw! Your bald head is swelling up!
Skinner: Crevette in a net…this prank has Bart Simpson’s name all over it.
Jimbo: There he is on his skateboard!
Dolph: Quick! Steal those nerds’ bikes!
Database: Our bicycles!
Bart: Oh man, I can’t out-skate bullies on bikes!
Kearney: You’re going to pay for this, Simpson!
Bart: I’ll just duck into this sketchy dive bar and hide. *enters* AHHH! REAL BIKERS!
Meathook: Well, lookie here. Seems like we got some fresh meat, fellas.
Ramrod: What do you think, Meathook? Should we show this kid our idea of “hospitality”?
Bart: Why did you air-quote hospitality? Are you gonna kill me and send my body to the hospital?!
Spiro: Kill you? No, no! We don’t kill people anymore. We’re the Spiro’s Heroes. I’m Spiro. This here is Meathook, that’s Ramrod, and back at the pool table there is Porkchop.
Homer: Mmmmm…porkchops…
Bart: Homer? What are you doing here?
Homer: Moe’s got shut down again. Something to do with not having a liquor license for thirty years. Anyway, don’t mind me — carry on.
Spiro: Look kid, we need young recruits like you, so do you want to join our gang or what?
Bart: *gasp* You’d let me join your badass biker gang?
Ramrod: You still gotta go through the initiation, but we’ll let you skip the written test.
Homer: Unfair! You made me take the written test!
Meathook: And you got a 0 out of 100…and it was multiple choice…
Homer: *annoyed grunt*
Make Bart Get Initiated- 6s
Make Meathook Sew the Patch on Bart’s Gang Jacket- 6s
Make Ramrod Prepare Bart a Virgin Daiquiri- 6s
Bart: Okay, all done.
Apu: Thank you, Bart, for cleaning the graffiti off of the Kwik-E-Mart.
Spiro: Initiation complete. Welcome to the Spiro’s Heroes.
Bart: How is cleaning graffiti off a wall an initiation? I thought you guys were hardcore bikers.
Spiro: Oh, we’re hardcore alright. Hardcore about making a difference!
Meathook: Yeah, we used to just ride our hogs around and chain-whip people for fun. Now we ride our hogs around and chain-whip our community into shape.
Bart: Oh, that’s too bad… I thought if I joined the gang, then you guys would help me terrorize the bullies.
Meathook: Hmm…if we help you, can we chain-whip them?
Bart: I was thinking more like some mild intimidating with a couple of pranks sprinkled in.
Meathook: It’s a deal! Let’s wreak havoc on those bullies!

Springfield Turf Wars Pt. 1
Auto starts

Nelson: There he is! Bart’s walking into that dive bar!
Kearney: I’ve been waiting all afternoon for this. Excuse me, is your toilet bowl regulation size?
Jimbo: Yeah, we want to make sure the opening will fit the head of an average boy.
Ramrod: Bart, I assume these are the bullies we’re about to give a world of pain.
Kearney: Whoa, Bart, you’re friends with these biker dudes?!
Meathook: Oh no, he’s not our friend — he’s part of our gang.
Kearney: You’re in a biker gang now?! This changes everything. Sidebar!
Nelson: Sidebar!
Kearney: Guys, now that Bart is a real gang member, we should recruit him to join our band of bullies.
Nelson: So we can’t give him a swirly?
Kearney: Not today. Having a real gang member join us would lend some much-needed legitimacy to our operation, and potentially cut down on attacks by the older scary high school bullies.
Jimbo: I hate those guys!
Dolph: So we all agree…sidebar over!
Nelson: Sidebar over!
Kearney: Bart, we have a proposal: join our bully gang and we’ll make you Springfield Elementary royalty.
Jimbo: Instead of you being a swirlee, you’ll get to be the swirler.
Kearney: We’ll even hunt down Milhouse if you want him to be your first victim.
Bart: Hmm, this is all very intriguing. Do you guys have a cool hangout like Spiro’s?
Nelson: Prepare to have your mind blown. Follow me to the Stolen Bicycle Graveyard.
Meathook: Man, new recruits are so unreliable. The moment you initiate ’em, every gang in town tries to poach ’em.
Make Bart Go See the Stolen Bicycle Graveyard- 4hrs
Make Nelson Show Bart the Empty Swimming Pool- 4hrs
Make Jimbo Carve Bart’s Name in the Diving Board- 4hrs
Make Dolph Clean the Necklace of Unknown Retainers- 4hrs
Make Kearney Pick Up His Kid from School- 4hrs
Collect Gas Cans-
  x125.  4hrs.
Jimbo: Welcome to the Stolen Bicycle Graveyard.
Nelson: Our old hangout was under the football bleachers, but it got turned into a mass vaccination site.
Bart: I dig the archway built out of beach cruisers. Nice touch.
Nelson: So…? Will you become a bully?
Bart: I think I’m gonna stick with Spiro’s Heroes.
Dolph: Come on! What does Spiro’s have that the Stolen Bicycle Graveyard doesn’t?
Bart: Well, for one: they have a roof, WiFi, and soda direct from the tap…
Kearney: We can’t compete with solid WiFi!
Bart: Look, we can still form a partnership. How about we have a truce? You guys promise to leave me alone, and as a member of Spiro’s Heroes I can guarantee your protection.
Dolph: Sidebar!
Nelson: I think this is a good deal for us. That biker gang can help us scare off the older bullies when they try to mess with us.
Jimbo: Agreed.
Bart: Agreed.
Dolph: Sidebar over!
Nelson: Alright, Bart. We agree to your terms.
Bart: Spitshake?
Nelson: *spits in his hand* Pleasure doing business.
Bart: Do you have any hand sanitizer by chance? Can’t be too careful these days.
Nelson: I want to punch you so bad right now…but I can’t.
Bart: See? The partnership’s already working.

Springfield Turf Wars Pt. 2
Auto starts

Homer: Marge, do we have to go to Kirk and Luann’s game night?
Kirk: Homer, you’re already here. And we’re about to start playing Occupiers of Anatolia!
Homer: Ugh, sounds complicated.
Kirk: Okay everyone, flip your occupier cards to see who goes first!
Marge: Wait, before we start, one quick question: can I build unlimited aqueducts or only one at a time?
Kirk: As many as you want.
Bernice Hibbert: What if I want to trade my occupier card when it’s not my turn?
Kirk: You just wait until it is your turn.
Dr Hibbert: If I roll a double-three, do I get sent to the cistern or do I send someone else to the cistern?
Kirk: Depends if you have two or more barley bundles.
Homer: Ugh, this board game hasn’t even started and it already sucks! I wish I could be doing fun biker gang stuff like Bart.
Marge: What biker gang stuff?
Homer: Bart joined a biker gang. You know, the one over at Spiro’s Bar.
Marge: WHAAAT?!
Kirk: Oh yeah, those Spiro’s Heroes don’t mess around. One time I accidentally grabbed Ramrod’s latte at a coffee shop and he chain-whipped my laptop in half.
Homer: Man, I wish I had a motorcycle so I could be in a cool gang… Wait a second, I do have a motorcycle! And it’s a vintage 1955 Harley-Davidson! I won it at a ’50s dance competition at a diner!
Marge: Oh, I remember that now…that must have been at least 20 seasons ago.
Make Homer Gas Up the Hog- 4hrs
Make Marge Demand Homer Wear His Helmet-
Make Lisa Remind Homer How the Throttle Works-
Collect Gas Cans-
x125.  4hrs.
Marge: Homer, I really think this is a bad idea. Don’t you remember what happened the last time you got on a motorcycle?
Homer: No.
Marge: That’s because of what happened the last time you got on a motorcycle!
Homer: But don’t you remember my bucket list? Number one: eat a bucket of fried chicken. Number two: eat another bucket of fried chicken!
Marge: And number three…
Homer: Eat a bucket of fried chicken as a member of a biker gang!
Marge: But Homer—
Homer: Hold on Marge. *dials* Can I order three buckets of fried chicken for delivery? Yes, of course I want all the sides!

Springfield Turf Wars Pt. 3
Auto starts

Spiro: We’re glad you decided to stick with Spiro’s Heroes, Bart. With you on board, we can really make a difference in this town.
Bart: Okay, but we’re also gonna be doing badass biker gang stuff, right? I mean, there has to be a nearby music festival we can ride through and terrorize.
Meathook: Look Bart, we know you’re not old enough to ride a hog, so instead we got you a Spiro’s Heroes leather jacket and an electric bike.
Bart: Whoa, the license plate says “El Barto”.
Spiro: It sure does.
Wilbur Nurple: So this is the inner circle of Spiro’s Heroes, huh? The gang that thinks they can operate on our turf?
Bart: Uh oh. I know this guy. He’s one of the most notorious gang members in greater Springfield. One time he chased the bullies and me all over town.
Ramrod: I thought you ran FROM the bullies, not WITH them.
Bart: I’ve lived many lives, Ramrod. Many lives.
Wilbur Nurple: Your friend Bart is right. I’m the leader of The Purple Nurples gang.
Bart: You do realize that Spiro’s Heroes is a gang that does good? So…we don’t really have beef with you.
Wilbur Nurple: We Purple Nurples are the same way. We defend those who receive purple nurples. Unfortunately, that was a little too long to fit on the back of our jackets, so we had to shorten it.
Meathook: This town only has room for one group of defenders against wet willies, swirlies, and purple nurples!
Ramrod: Gang fight!
Make Bart Defend Turf with his Slingshot- 4hrs
Make Wilbur Nurple Call for Purple Nurple Backup-
Make Meathook Give Wilbur Nurple a Purple Nurple-
Make Ramrod Watch the Flank-
Collect Gas Cans-
x125.  4hrs.
Spiro: That’s enough! Can’t we all just come together and work out our issues in a more civilized fashion?
Wilbur Nurple: You’re right. Let’s settle this not like the gang members we are, but like the gang members we aspire to be.
Spiro: Then there’s only one way to resolve this conflict: The Ball of Death.

Springfield Turf Wars Pt. 4
Auto starts

Spiro: The only thing you have to know about the Ball of Death is this: two men enter, and only one man doesn’t die.
Homer: Did someone say “man”?!
Bart: Dad, what are you doing here? We’re kinda in the middle of a turf war.
Homer: I’m here to join the Spiro’s Heroes. I know I didn’t pass the written test, but I found my old motorcycle, so they’ve got to let me in now.
Meathook: Just because you have a bike doesn’t make you one of us.
Spiro: Now, who is representing the Purple Nurples in the Ball of Death?
Wilbur Nurple: I will represent The Purple Nurples. And who is your champion?
Meathook: Well, I would do it, but my arthritic knee’s been acting up.
Ramrod: Uh, I don’t want to take all the glory, ya know after all the glory I’ve taken recently with other stuff. So I’ll let somebody else take this round of Ball of Death.
Spiro: Porkchop, you in? Really? You won’t even do it?
Homer: Bart, what is this Ball of Death I keep hearing about? It’s not dangerous, is it?
Bart: Dad, no. You don’t want to—
Homer: Everyone! As my initiation into the gang, I offer myself as your champion!
Make Homer Defy Death in the Ball of Death- 4hrs
Make Wilbur Nurple Defy Death in the Ball of Death-
Make Bart Reluctantly Cheer on Homer-
Collect Gas Cans-
x100.  4hrs. 

Springfield Turf Wars Pt. 5
Auto starts

Bart: Homer! Don’t forget to accelerate when you get to the top of the Ball of Death!
Homer: Yeah, yeah, yeah. How hard can it be? *accelerates*
Wilbur Nurple: First one who doesn’t die wins. *accelerates*
Homer: Ow!  No-no-no-no-no! Ahhhh! I think I’m really getting the hang of this! D’oh!
Make Homer Eat it Hard- 4hrs
Make Wilbur Nurple Prevail-
Collect Gas Cans-
x125.  4hrs.
Homer: Am I the champion?
Bart: Yeah. You’re the champion, Dad.
Homer: Woo-hoo!
Bart: No, I was being sarcastic…you lost and you’re seriously injured.
Homer: Oh… Yup. I’m starting to feel things…painful things. *moans*
Wilbur Nurple: Now that I’ve won, I better not see any Spiro’s Heroes around these parts cleaning up graffiti or protecting nerds from bullies.
Spiro: With our turf gone, how are we going to make a difference in our community?
Meathook: We could just go back to being badass bikers whose sole purpose is boozing, roughhousing, and more boozing.
Ramrod: Yeah, why’d we ever give that up?
Meathook: Let’s ride through Springfield and rough up all who get in our way!
CBG: No! Don’t chain-whip my comics! You just destroyed an original Cyberella! This is just like when the necronauts overran the city and Cyberella had to rally the citizens against them!
Moe: No! You’re defiling my love-tester machine! How am I supposed to test my love now?!
Apu: Oh, hey Meathook. Are you here to help remove some new graffiti on my wall? What are you doing? You’ve chain-whipped all of aisles one, two, and three! And I only have three aisles!
Homer: Ah man, right when I get seriously injured, they start doing all the fun biker gang stuff…

Where the Blubber Meets the Road
Auto starts

Homer: Marge, when they take this full-body cast off of me, we’re hitting the road on my hog and never looking back.
Marge: Absolutely not. You’re never driving a motorcycle ever again!
Homer: Who said I’d be the one driving?!
Marge: *annoyed grumble*
Homer: Well, Bart, one day that beautiful hog will be passed down to you just as my grandfather gave it to my father, and my father gave it to me.
Bart: I thought you won the motorcycle in a dance contest at Greaser’s Café?
Homer: I did. I sure did…
Bart: Is something wrong with his brain?
Dr Hibbert: Not any more than usual. *chuckles*

And that’s it my friends!  All there is to the Springfield Choppers mini-event!

What are your thoughts on the mini-event?  Prizes?  Design plans?  Don’t forget showoff next week, submit those designs by Tuesday!  Sound off in the comments below, you know we love hearing from you!

12 responses to “Springfield Choppers Full Dialogue: Springfield Turf Wars

  1. Thanks for the recap, Alissa! 👍🏻

    I may have 8Gigs of RAM
    I may have 90Gigs of ROM (out of 128Gigs) free space
    But, even I get to reboot the device whenever the TSTO Game App doesn’t want to work (or, to ensure an App has an Update).

    I’ve been doing more reading on EA Play and EA Play Pro … imagine if one paid a low fee monthly so that they can play the same App on their smartphone, tablet, desktop, laptop (and have access to other Game Apps to play). Not that I’m expecting TSTO to ever leave Origin Account. 🤔

  2. Santos, you are a frickin’ GENIUS!!!!! Thank you for stating what should have been obvious to me… That quest line was in my game!!! I have about 23 incomplete, and I just didn’t even realize it was there. I’m still baffled as to why my app store still shows the last version, and why tech support didn’t see that. Those were obvious issues, so I didn’t look deeper. THANK YOU!!! That triggered the event, I have it now! Yay, so happy. 🙂 Now excuse me, I need to go farm a bazillion Kwik-W-Marts for donuts so I can catch up. BBL.

    • Glad it worked out! You still have plenty of time to finish (ends Wednesday morning) so don’t feel you need to rush it all in a day or 2 😀

      • Now that I can see the scope of the event, I can pace myself – a couple of stages per day is doable. Thanks for your help! Clearly TSTO Addicts is better than international tech support, haha!! But.. it’s a reminder that it’s easy to go down one path thinking that you’ve located the problem, and then get stuck there. It pays to step back and look at the problem with a fresh perspective.

    • Sorry for the late reply. I’m glad you got it sorted and you can do the event now.

      Like Alissa said, there’s plenty of time to finish it since the totals for prizes 1,2,3&5 are 125 Gas Cans and prize 4 is 100 Gas Cans (you need 600 Gas Cans to get all the prizes) and if you have Meathook and Ramrod (both are available in the Yearbook Mystery Box) you can earn 45 Gas Cans every 4 hours with the freemium characters and Meathook and Ramrod alone. As long as you manage to unlock the 4th prize before the event ends then you should be okay with getting everything.

  3. Well, this sucks… I haven’t been to the blog in a while and didn’t know this event was coming! I check my apps for updates every couple of days, but this one never showed up for me. Still, I can’t find a way to force it to appear… my Google Play app says I’m updated with the latest version, and still has the What’s New section talking about the storybook ending for everyone but Artie. Rebooted the phone, closed and refreshed the app store. 🙁

    • Which splash screen do you Have? Love and War or regular Homer running?

      • Thanks for the tips, everyone – I’ve been at work, wasn’t ignoring you. I’m level 939, have all the starting characters, everyone is free. Uninstalled the game, shut down phone for a few minutes, reinstalled. Nothing. Talked with a lovely guy in Ireland who even logged into the game as me on their servers, and he couldn’t force the app store to update. I only have access to the last version put out March 1st. His last ditch suggestion was to find someone on an Apple device (I’m Android) to install the game and let me log in there, then move back over to Android one the server had my updated game. WARNING – He said that only works because I use an EA account to login to the game, that wouldn’t work for someone using a Google login. Or something. Just don’t get that until you research further, if anyone is having the same issue.

      • Oh, I do have the regular Homer running splash screen, and I have version 4.48.5 of the game.

    • Try force-close the app store and give it a kick !!
      Good news is you should be able to do the event in about 4 days, especially if they still let you finish off the last prize after the deadline.
      Make sure Bart is free, also Meathook and Ramrod if you’d already got them, in order to get the six second intro out of the way.

    • Did you do the “There Goes My Heros” quest? Having Bart and completing that quest should start everything up the event.

Leave a Reply