Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
The Robots are coming, the Robots are coming! Get ready for a dystopian Springfield, as the robots try to take over! Can they be stopped? It’s up to you to save Springfield in the latest event to hit our pocket-sized towns…Rise of the Robots!
The fourth, and final, Act of this event ushered in one new premium character to help navigate this event. Carnage Destructicus is an all-new premium character for Springfield, which will not only help to earn event currency but also comes with a short questline.
So let’s take a look at the questline for Carnage, here’s the full dialogue for The Greatest Story Ever Hissed…
More details on Carnage Destructicus can be found here
The Greatest Story Ever Hissed Pt. 1
Carnage Destructicus starts
Carnage Destructicus: I, Carnage Destructicus, the most formidable of the pos-i-bots, want for nothing. My only desire is to be the greatest robotic warrior, and I am that! Nothing can shake my faith in my own greatness! I — eh, where are those cats going?
Cat: *meow*
Carnage Destructicus: Hmm…it’s as if they are beckoning me to follow them. But to where…?
Make Carnage Destructicus Follow Cats Around- 8hrs
Carnage Destructicus: What is this strange domicile they have led me to?
Crazy Cat Lady: Aiiieeea flaghor blahjarg!
Carnage Destructicus: What sort of vulgar form of communication is that? Are you challenging me, the mighty Carnage Destructicus, to battle?!
Crazy Cat Lady: Shraaaeg rarahrah menarag!
Carnage Destructicus: Ah, I think I begin to understand. You call Carnage Destructicus to some higher purpose…
The Greatest Story Ever Hissed Pt. 2
Carnage Destructicus starts
Crazy Cat Lady: Hissarrag naragarr!
Carnage Destructicus: Yes…I understand. You wish to call Carnage Destructicus to action! Whom would you have Carnage Destructicus fight?
Crazy Cat Lady: Larrasharag rarrarahar mraaaranerg!
Carnage Destructicus: I see. First I must prove my worth through a quest! Carnage Destructicus shall answer the call.
Cat: *reowrar*
Carnage Destructicus: Lead on, noble herald!
Make Carnage Destructicus Follow Cats Again- 4hrs
The Greatest Story Ever Hissed Pt. 3
Carnage Destructicus starts
Carnage Destructicus: What is this foul-smelling place to which you have led me?
Hippie: Hey man, it’s a monument to the waste and, like, destructivity of consumer culture, man!
Carnage Destructicus: The old woman with the cats is easier to understand than your prattling. Stand aside!
Cat: *mreowr*
Carnage Destructicus: I see, this mountain of rubbish is to be my adversary.
Hippie: Heck yeah, man! Reuse and recycle!
Make Carnage Destructicus Destroy Garbage- 4hrs
Make Hippie Get Excited, Man- 4hrs
Hippie: Whoa, man! You annihilated that garbage!
Carnage Destructicus: But to what end? Was this a pointless errand? Is the old crone with the cats simply mad?
Hippie: Dude! There were more cats trapped under there and you totally rescued them!
Carnage Destructicus: I see! So she is indeed a prophet!
The Greatest Story Ever Hissed Pt. 4
Carnage Destructicus starts
Bestimus Mucho: Hey man, why are you standing in the middle of the river?
Carnage Destructicus: I was instructed to stand here by the great prophet, the old woman with all the cats.
Hot Dog Cooker Bot: A crazy cat lady told you to stand around in some water…and you’re just doing it?
Carnage Destructicus: She is wise in ways beyond your comprehension.
Bestimus Mucho: Uh…right. Okay, you stick around here and be wet, me and the boys are gonna go roll down to Jet Lube and get oiled up.
Carnage Destructicus: My faith will be rewarded. You shall see.
Make Homer Fail to Jump the River on an Electric Scooter- 1hr
Make Carnage Destructicus Save Homer- 1hr
Make Bestimus Mucho Be Surprised- 1hr
Homer: AAAAAAAAAH!
Carnage Destructicus: Be at ease, human, for Carnage Destructicus was here to catch you thanks to the vision of the great prophet.
Homer: Oh. Uh, thanks.
Squishee Machine Bot: Whoa! She totally knew what was gonna happen!
Bestimus Mucho: Oh, come on. What are the odds that a crazy old cat lady predicted this fat guy would fall off that cliff and so she sent a robot here to help him?
Squishee Machine Bot: Now that you say it out loud…I can’t believe how prescient she is!
Carnage Destructicus: Come, my friends! Follow me to the prophet!
The Greatest Story Ever Hissed Pt. 5
Carnage Destructicus starts
Carnage Destructicus: O wise prophet! I return with more followers. Please bestow your wisdom upon us!
Squishee Machine Bot: Yeah, tell us what’s gonna happen next!
Crazy Cat Lady: Ariiiiirrarar! *walks away*
Bestimus Mucho: Why is she walking away from us?
Hot Dog Cooker Bot: I don’t think she wants us around.
Carnage Destructicus: No, my friends. It is a test!
Crazy Cat Lady: Gyarrrararr! *walks faster*
Make Carnage Destructicus Follow Crazy Cat Lady Faithfully- 4hrs
Make Bestimus Mucho Question This Whole Faith Thing- 4hrs
Make Crazy Cat Lady Try to Ditch the Robots- 4hrs
Crazy Cat Lady: *breaks into a run*
Carnage Destructicus: Worry not, prophet! The faith of Carnage Destructicus cannot be shaken!
Bestimus Mucho: This is stupid. C’mon, guys, let’s get out of here!
Hot Dog Cooker Bot: You said it. Good luck with your “prophet”, Carnage CHUMPicus!
Carnage Destructicus:: Ignore them, prophet, I — Wait, come back! She is unusually fast for an old woman carrying that many cats.
The Greatest Story Ever Hissed Pt. 6
Carnage Destructicus starts
Carnage Destructicus: I do not understand, prophet! Why did you show me the way and the light only to abandon me now and withhold your vision?!
Crazy Cat Lady: *insulting hiss*
Carnage Destructicus: Fine! So Bestimus Mucho was right and it was all coincidence and the madness of a woman so lonely she surrounds herself with cats! You have made a fool of Carnage Destructicus, but you have lost the last person who had any regard for you. Enjoy your solitude and your cats!
Make Carnage Destructicus Storm Off in Disillusionment- 2hrs
ake Crazy Cat Lady Watch Him Go- 2hrs
Crazy Cat Lady: Well I tried, boss, but none of ‘em has any staying power.
God: Ah, don’t sweat it. This is pretty much what I expected.
Yahweh: Trying to get into the ol’ prophet business, eh?
God: It worked so well for you back in the day, I thought I would give it a shot. I guess faith’s just not a growth market, you know?
Yahweh: I hear that. C’mon, let’s go get some perogies — my treat.
And that’s it my friends, the details on Carnage’s questline!
Thoughts on the questline? Did you buy Carnage Destructicus? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!
