Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
As we prepare for Act 3 of the Cirque du Springfield event to start, it’s time to wrap up Act 2 with a pretty little bow…in the form of the hilarious dialogue!
So here’s a look at the full dialogue for A Run for Their Funny…just in case you missed it by tapping too fast…
A Run for Their Funny Pt. 1
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Bart: So wait…the Ding-A-Ling Bros. Ringmaster used to be the Bailey in Burnsum and Bailey Circus?
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: That’s right. I was running an ethical, animal-friendly, family circus until this crook forced me out.
Burnsum: I didn’t force you out. I tried to kill you! You cheated death and I hate cheaters.
Lisa: To me, it seems like Bailey wasn’t willing to compromise his integrity for profit. I applaud that.
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: Thank you. You see, Burnsum, even the eight-year-old can spot a phony.
Burnsum: To heck with your integrity. Why shouldn’t I profit by making people feel better about themselves by gawking at freaks.
Bart: I gotta say, Lis’, I’m with Burnsum on this one. Nothing beats a good freak show.
Burnsum: Ha! There you have it, Bailey. Even the little orphan boy can see the magic I bring.
Bart: I’m not an orphan. I have a mom and sort of a dad.
Homer: Eh, that’s fair.
Make Bart Bicker With Lisa- 4hrs
Make Lisa Bicker With Bart- 4hrs
Collect Hippo Juice- x115. 4hrs.
A Run for Their Funny Pt. 2
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Lisa: Mr. Bailey, I’d like to come work for your circus and show my brother what integrity looks like.
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: Wonderful! You can work in the ticket office.
Bart: Oh yeah? Well I’d like to work for you, Burnsum.
Burnsum: Excellent! You can work shoveling elephant dung.
Bart: Oh, boy! What’s dung?
Marge: Hold the phone. I’m not letting my children run off with any circus.
Lisa: Mom, just back me up on this one. Pleeease?
Marge: Well, I suppose I could keep an eye on you to make sure you’re okay. Homer, could you look after Bart?
Homer: Aww, parenting sucks!
Make Lisa Join the Ding-A-Ling Bros. Circus – 4hrs
Make Marge Join the Ding-A-Ling Bros. Circus- 4hrs
Make Homer Join the Burnsum and Bailey Circus- 4hrs
Make Bart Join the Burnsum and Bailey Circus- 4hrs
Collect Hippo Juice- x115. 4hrs.
A Run for Their Funny Pt. 3
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Marguerite: Welcome to the circus. I look forward to working with you.
Homer: The pleasure is all mine. And I love that hazel speck in your eye—
Burnsum: Bup-bup. There will be no workplace fraternization between the freaks.
Homer: I’m not one of your freaks.
Burnsum: But you’re more grotesque than any! You must be constantly chased by villagers with pitchforks!
Homer: Sometimes. Not constantly.
Burnsum:You’ve given me an idea! I must expand my freak show. But how?
Bart: What if we mess up non-freaks and turn them INTO freaks?
Burnsum: I like the cut of your jib, boy. Everyone in town will marvel at our collection of delightful deformities!
Make Bart Look for People to Disfigure- 4hrs
Make Homer Oversee the Disfigurations- 4hrs
Collect Hippo Juice- x115. 4hrs.
Homer: You sleep in a pile of straw, you eat from a bucket of oats, you poop where you want…you’re living the dream!
The Human Donkey: It’s great if you can put up with all the people pointing and throwing rotten fruit at you.
Homer: Mmm…rotten fruit.
Burnsum: There will be no rotten fruit if you don’t get your hooves out there and hee-haw for the crowds.
Homer: Hee-haw! Hee-haw!
Burnsum: I was talking to the Human Donkey, you horse’s ass!
Homer: Whiiinnniiiie!
A Run for Their Funny Pt. 4
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Lisa: So, Mr. Bailey, how can I help the Ding-A-Ling Bros. Circus?
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: I’m not sure you’ll have the chance. Burnsum’s profit-oriented approach is putting us out of business.
Lisa: What about just giving the people a spectacular show?
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: Nowadays people get their spectacular shows on their cell phones. What about you, Scuzzo? Any ideas?
Scuzzo The Clown: Huh? Sorry. I was watching something spectacular on my cell phone.
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: How about an old-fashioned clown throwdown?
Scuzzo The Clown: Our clowns versus theirs. I like it. No lions this time, though.
Lisa: Absolutely not! People don’t want to see clowns get hurt.
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: Is Lisa right, Scuzzo?
Scuzzo The Clown: I’m not about to volunteer to get hurt. And I’m pretty sure none of my clowns are either.
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: Not even Blitzy?
Scuzzo The Clown: Nope.
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: The Boobsy Twins?
Scuzzo The Clown: Not a chance.
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: Bing Bong?
Scuzzo The Clown: Don’t think so.
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: Dr. Pickles?
Scuzzo The Clown: Negative.
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: *sigh* That’s it.
Scuzzo The Clown: What, you’re out of clown names?
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: All the funny ones.
Make Lisa Roll Her Eyes- 4hrs
Make Marge Comfort Lisa- 4hrs
Collect Hippo Juice- x155. 4hrs.
A Run for Their Funny Pt. 5
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Ding A Ling Ringmaster: Thanks for reprising your circus persona, Krusty. Or should I say, “Soggy the Clown”.
Soggy The Clown: With the moola you’re paying me, I’ll be Soggy any day of the week and twice on Sunday!
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: I just hope I can cover the loan I took out to pay your salary. The collateral was…alarming.
Fat Tony: Pay up by the end of the month or the giraffe gets a piano wire necktie.
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: Alright, Soggy, get out there and give the people of Springfield a great show!
Soggy The Clown: Uh…what people?
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: What the — where’d everyone go?!
Lisa: Maybe they finally realized that circuses are just a bunch of smoke and mirrors.
Soggy The Clown: Nah, they’re all over at that other tent. The one with the smoke and mirrors!
Make Lisa See What’s Going On- 4hrs
Make Ding-A-Ling Ringmaster Follow the Smoke and Mirrors- 4hrs
Make Fat Tony Make a Threatening Gesture- 4hrs
Collect Hippo Juice- x195. 4hrs.
Cirque De Puree Ringmaster: Step right up, mesdames and messieurs! Witness true feats of amazing! I give you…Cirque de Puree! The only circus that does not believe in the exploitation of animals for entertainment!
Lisa: Wow, a circus with actual integrity! Mom, can we go? Please?!
Marge: But we’re already working for Ding-A-Ling Bros.
Lisa: But this one’s better.
Marge: Fine. But no more circuses or I’ll scream like a howler monkey!
Lisa: I’d actually like that.
Marge: Ooooooo!
And that’s it my friends, the full Act 2 dialogue for Cirque du Springfield!
Thoughts on the Act 2 dialogue? Prize track? Where do you think the story is heading? Sound off in the comments below, you know we love hearing from you!
