Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
Well…Halloween is coming to an end. Are you sad? Do you miss it already? Anyway, I thought it would be fun…while we’re waiting for “the next big thing”….to go back and take a look at all the fun of the main Halloween questline!
This questline has a lot of twists and turns in it and is really a fun one to read. So just in case you missed anything while reading it, we’ve got all the fun for you here!
Since it was broken up into three sections there may be some things you guys forgot about, or just trying to remember what happened wayyyyy back at the start of October. So, we’ve got it all covered for you here! Now you can relive Kang’s attempts to take over Springfield and his path to citizenship!
So now, what are we waitin’ for? Let’s relive the fun and excitement of the early days of the alien invasion shall we?
Free Hugs Pt. 1
Wiggum: Hey there. You’re new in town, aren’t you? I’m a police officer, in case you’re wondering why I’m so astute.
Kang: You do seem pretty sharp.
Lisa: Chief Wiggum! He’s not a visitor to our town, he’s a hostile alien. Arrest him and call out the national guard.
Wiggum: I was gonna do that. That’s the procedure for all visitors. I think it may be why our tourism industry is in the dumper.
Kang: Wait! I have fled the lush tyranny of Rigel VII to seek asylum in this trailer park of a planet: Earth.
Lisa: Oh, Chief Wiggum, we’ve got to help him! Kang is a defector, like Rudolph Nureyev or Martina Navratilova!
Wiggum: Yeah, but those guys could do stuff and this thing’s just a drooling squid.
Kang: I wish to be an Earthling now and follow Earthling customs. Our drone cameras report that you saliva-swallowing bipeds enjoy building useless 2-D buildings. I shall build the most useless, most two-dimensional building of all!
Lisa: Wait, did you say drone cameras?
Kang: Silence foolish Earth-tween! If you are accusing me of breeding organic, living camera drones that resemble Earth’s housefly…and then abandoning the project because we got too much footage of dog poo, you are paranoid!
Lisa: Just build your building.
Build the Make-a-Thing Workshop– $2,000, 8hr build
Make Kang Watch Housefly Drone Cameras- 8hrs, Earns $420, 105xp
Lisa: So what kind of store did you build, Mr. Kang?
Kang: It is genius! I provide plush-bear skins and people pay to labor like third-world child-slaves, stuffing and putting sunglasses on them.
Lisa: I guess you’ll never go broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.
Kang: Look at the accessories! There’s even a tiny wheel chair!
Lisa: And a little boombox! I wanna make one!
Kang: Yes! Stuff! Stuff like there’s no tomorrow! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Lisa: I might skip trick-or-treating this year. There’s so much hunger in the world, I feel guilty getting candy from strangers just because I’m wearing green makeup and a latex wart.
Kang: Nonsense. You “liked” that Upworthy video about Darfur. You’ve gone above and beyond to stop world hunger!
Lisa: Maybe you’re right. And I did make that Ethiopian baby sleeping next to a goat carcass my profile picture. I deserve a treat!
Kang: Mother Teresa never felt guilty about trick or treating. Go and do’t come back till your pillowcase strains at the seams.
Make Lisa Go Trick or Treating- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp
Lisa: What a haul! This might be my best year ever! What’s this? Who gave me a nail?
Bart: Remember Professor Frink built that robot that was giving out treats.
Lisa: Oh. Are nails candy to robots?
Bart: Nah. I think it was just falling apart.
Free Hugs Pt. 2
Lisa: You were right to insist I go trick-or-treating, Mr. Kang – . I had a great time.
Kang: You deserve it. Now don’t be shy — eat your candy!
Lisa: Thank you, I will.
Kang: Yes, eat and fatten yourself! Then relax by soaking in some olive oil with garlic and lemon zest overnight in this refrigerator!
Lisa: Hmmm, you’re starting to sound like the people-eating Rigellian you used to be.
Kang: What? No! I am now one of you. Can’t you tell by my fanny pack and my tramp stamp?
Make Lisa Question Kang’s Motives- 45s, $8,3xp
Kang: Enough of this grilling! I’ll tell you everything. I’m setting you up for a Rigellian invasion. In fact, it’s already begun!
Lisa: I didn’t even start questioning you yet – all I asked is if you wanted a drink.
Kang: Oh. In that case…. I’LL TELL YOU NOTHING, IMPUDENT GIRL-COW! And I’ll take an iced tea.
Lisa: Yeah, I think I’m gonna go alert everyone to the invasion.
Kang: Great Gas God! She knows about the invasion!! Quickly! Begin phase two of the invasion. Codename: Phase Two!
Free Hugs Pt. 3
Kang: People of Earth, cower before the approaching Rigellian onslaught!
Homer: They’re smaller than I expected…
Kang: Our army is made of juveniles who are old enough to fight but too young to vote. It’s the only way we get to fight the really cool, stupid wars.
Homer: Well, I’m not afraid. We have a secret weapon! Prepare to be squished by The Sky Finger!
Squish Rigellian Invader
Kang: Ha, ha, ha, ha! Your impotent squishings do nothing! Our troops are wearing a protective film, much like the tinted windows of your Earth limousines. In my short time as an Earthling, I really got into the whole club scene. You know, VIP rooms, bottle service But that is neither here nor any other place! Prepare for your future as livestock!
Homer: I already came up with the squishing them idea. If the survival of humanity depends on me coming up with another idea, we are ska-rewed.
Free Hugs Pt. 4
Homer: Those aliens are going to eat me first for sure. Oh, why do my loins have to be so marbled?!
Frink: Before we start talking about the quality of our body meat, let’s find a way to resist the moiven-occupation! I can engineer a super-weapon! I just need a small, metal, nail-like object.
Lisa: I got a nail in my treat bag. Will that work?
Frink: Well, it’s a little on the nose, but we don’t have time for subtlety.
Use the Make-a-Thing Workshop to Open a Treatbag- Tap on the workshop and the bag to open.
Use the Make-a-Thing Workshop to Craft a Weapon- Tap Craft next to the board with nail.
Frink – Good glavin, look what I found here next to the teddy-bear-stuffing-injector! The Rigellians have a re-moleculizor! This fascinating machine can take any thing and turn it into a different thing! With the molecules and reconfiguring and the—
Lisa: Don’t get distracted, Professor! You have to get to work on that weapon.
Frink: Oh, I’ve already made the super-weapon. It’s there on the counter.
Lisa: You hammered a nail into a piece of scrap wood?
Frink: I also installed a decal that said, ‚ÄúAwesome!‚Äù but it, uh, did not stick. Ahoy-vun.
Free Hugs Pt. 5
Lisa: We’re doomed! We can’t fight off an army of alien invaders with a board with a nail in it!
Kang: A board with a nail in it?! Retreat! Retreat! Our protective film is worthless if it gets scratched even a little!
Homer: Sky Finger, squish now! While they are vulnerable! Squish like you’ve never squished before!
Squish Rigellian Invadors- x20. Tap 20 of the little Rigellians to earn more probes!
Homer: Woo hoo! The town is completely clear of aliens! Time to get back to our regular, fulfilling lives.
Kang: You fool! Just because you have cleared your town of Rigellians doesn’t mean you have prevailed. We will continue to send small numbers to your Springfield over the course of approximately one Earth month. Maybe longer. Sometimes we extend these things for a week or two after we say we’re going to.
Homer: Why don’t you just send everyone at once and get it over with?
Kang: Ha, ha, ha, ha! As if your Earth phones could handle that many Rigellians on screen at the same time!
The Whole Truth Pt. 1
Kang: High Command would like to be debriefed on the progress of the invasion. The entire Rigellian army being squished into oblivion could be seen as a loss. Luckily, I’m the king of spin. I will really have to pile on the space-cow droppings.
Make Kang Report to Rigellian High Command- 24hrs, Earns $1,000, 225xp
Kang: Operation Earth-Over-Confident has been a rousing success. They aren’t afraid of us at all!
Rigellian Chief: SILENCE! Do not drool on me and call it precipitation! You have failed once again. And you wonder why we only let you conquer planets with malls! You are relieved of your command. Return to Rigel VII in disgrace.
Kang: Wait! Give me one more chance! I can take down Earth. I just need to figure out their weaknesses!
Rigellian Chief: You mean you haven’t probed them to detect their weaknesses yet? Why not?
Kang: Well, to be honest, it kind of weirds me out.
Rigellian Chief: I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to be honest with me.
Rigellian Chief: OF COURSE NOT! Get to probing, maggot!
The Whole Truth Pt. 2
Kang: *sigh* Might as well get this over with. Halt, corpulent human! Prepare to be probed!
Kang: Now I have to chase him. Ugh, look how he jiggles.
Make Kang Probe Homer- 36hrs, Earns $1,850, 500xp (requires Homer)
Kang: *wheeze* You are surprisingly spry for one so gelatinous.
Homer: Wow. I’ve never outrun anyone before. I guess it’s cause I’m running on two feet as opposed to a million suction cups.
Kang: Also I just drank a lot of water. Ugh, cramp!
The Whole Truth Pt. 3
Kang: I am a failure. Earth is too much for me. *sniff*.
Homer: Aw, hey, don’t cry. I assume what you’re doing there is crying.
Kang: *sniff* It is! I could not even catch a pregnant Earthling female.
Homer: What? I’m male!
Kang: You are? You look like you are expecting a litter of human cubs! Well, that makes me feel a little better.
Homer: Yep, no shame in not catching a strapping young male.
Kang: Really? This is what passes for strapping on this planet?
Homer: Okay, maybe not strapping, but I’m for sure not pregnant.
Kang: In that case, wanna get super drunk with me? I’m depressed.
Homer: Sure, I’ll go with you. But, honestly, I’d probably do it even if I was pregnant.
Make Kang Drink- x2, 8hrs, Earns $420, 105xp
Make Homer Drink- x2, 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp
Homer: I’ve always wanted to know… how do you guys tell each other apart?
Kang: I was going to ask you the same thing!
The Whole Truth Pt. 4
Homer: You know, Kang , you’re all right.
Kang: You as well. After getting inebriated with you I feel I can now call you “friend.”
Homer: Awww, thanks.
Kang: Prepare to be probed, friend!
Make Kang Probe Homer- 36hrs, Earns $1,850, 500xp (requires Homer)
Kang: It’s hopeless! I still can’t catch you even after I got you drunk.
Homer: Wait, you got me drunk just so you could catch me? I trusted you!
Kang: I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you by buying you bigger, stronger drinks.
Homer: Sounds great!
The Whole Truth Pt. 5
Kang: Why are you humans so cruel?
Lisa: Cruel? You invaded our planet!
Homer: I bonded and got drunk with you twice in one day.
Kang: But you and your bar friends drew a mustache on my dome after I passed out on the pool table.
Homer: Yes, we are a charming bunch.
Kang: I need time alone to do some heavy thinking.
Lisa: You might want to take off the “kick me” sign.
Homer: We are adorable.
Make Kang Reflect on his Situation- 24hrs, Earns $1,000, 225xp
Kang: If I am thrown out of the Rigellian army, I will have to move back in with mother. And she has that new young boyfriend. He was a jerk in high school, he is a jerk now. I suppose I could stay here. This planet isn’t so bad. There are some decent waterfalls. And I like the direction the Human Race is going with the whole Pretzel-Hotdog thing
Alienation Pt. 1
Kang: Greetings Earth leader! I wish to defect. This time for real-sies.
Quimby: Excellent! Lady Liberty welcomes tired and huddled masses. We are, ah, trying to play dow- n the “poor” part of that little welcome speech. You just need to pass the citizenship test and pay the, er ah, substantial fee.
Kang: What?! But I have none of your Earth money! And I know nothing of your pointless country!
Lisa: I could help you study for your citizenship exam. Anyone who knows me knows I love a good history drill.
Lisa: Mr. Kang – ?
Kang: Just waiting for any other option to present itself. … Fine, I’ll go with you.
Make Kang Research American History- 24hrs, Earns $1,000, 225xp
Make Lisa Be Kang’s Study Partner- 24hrs, Earns $600, 150xp
Kang : American history is full of impressive bloodshed! Though why haven’t we invaded this “Canada”? They’re only weapons seem to be hockey sticks and superior grammar skills.
Alienation Pt. 2
Kang: Armed with knowledge of your country I shall begin my ascent up the ranks of American power players. But first, could you spot me the cash to pay the exam fee?
Homer: No way. You’re going to have to earn it the old-fashioned American way. Which is now known as the new-fashioned Mexican way — doing jobs everyone else hates to do.
Make Kang Shovel Manure- 24hrs, Earns $1,000, 225xp
Make Kang Flip Burgers- 24hrs, Earns $1,000, 225xp
Make Kang Wash Dishes- 24hrs, Earns $1,000, 225xp
Kang: One day, when I am ruler of America, I shall rain hellfire on this place with my army of polite, Canadian slave-soldiers! Ha-hahahhahahaha!
Bart: Just gimme my Laffy Meal so I can go about my day.
Alienation Pt. 3
Lisa: Ooh, today’s the big day! If you pass this exam you will be *giggle* a legal alien!
Kang: Ugh. No further attempts at humor. It is painful to roll one giant eye.
Make Kang Take the Citizenship Exam- 24hrs, Earns $1,000, 225xp
Lisa: How did your exam go?
Kang: Terrible. I passed, but just barely.
Homer: Congratulations! That means you didn’t try any harder than you had to. You are a true American.
Alienation Pt. 4
Kang: You know what would really jazz this planet up? Lush Rigellian greenery! I could use my carbon re-moleculizor to craft some lovely carnivorous plants!
Lisa: I don’t know, carnivorous alien plants seems like a dangerous idea…
Kang: I am an American! Your concerns violate my constitutional rights! Racism! Sexism! Sue! Sue! Sue everyone!
Lisa: Well, he caught on to that pretty quickly.
Craft and Place a Rigellian Shrub- Craft the Shrub at Make-A-Thing. Requires…50 Broken Fences, 25 Candy Corn & 20 Pumpkins
Lisa: *gasp* The indigenous flora of your home planet is so beautiful!
Kang: Yes. Rigellian plants are far superior to your roses and your baobabs. Though I must warn you — mind the thorns. And the toxic pollen. And do not let it invade your thoughts. It will steal your soul. Also it likes a little fertilizer in the early Fall.
Alienation Pt. 5
Kang auto starts
Kang :Thanks for integrating me into your society so very easily. To further lull you, I shall dull your senses with donuts! Take them, and suspect nothing!
Completed Task Rewards 20 DONUTS!
Kang: Ha-hahahahahahaha! Foolish humans! Yes, once again, I have tricked you! I, Kang the Destroyer, shall enslave the Earth! When the time is right– Er, perhaps I should have waited until the time was right before I tipped my hand.
Lisa: Huh? Sorry, I was listening to a book on tape. Did you say something?
Kang: Umm, no! Enjoy your donuts and continue believing everything is fine!
And with that…the main questline is complete! Whew! What an update! Lots of twists and turns, and cliff hangers!
Now that we’re at the end, what were YOUR thoughts on the event overall? Thoughts on the questline? Even if it felt a little long, did you still have fun with it? Sound off in the comments below, you know we LOVE hearing from you!