Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
Jessica Lovejoy is back in Springfield! That’s right my friends…the stereotypical preacher’s kid is back, wreaking havoc on everyone and everything (poor Jeb)! She’s back and up to no good…well up to convincing Bart to do evil things! In a fun questline, full of references to a certain movie celebrating 30 years this fall…
While we’ve had the Turbo Tappin’ walkthrough up since Level 50 hit, we thought now would be a fun time to take a look back at all of the fun dialogue you might have missed while tappin’…or just to relive all the fun again!
As we mentioned in the Level 50 rundown post Jessica Lovejoy and the Lovejoy Residence will cost you 180 donuts. Once purchased and placed in your Springfield her questline will start right up!
So now….let’s get this walkthrough going, shall we?!
Back From the Future Pt. 1
Jessica: A new Springfield eh? Let’s hope this one isn’t as boring as the old one.
Milhouse: Hey Jessica! Want to join me as we paint the town red?
Jessica: I’m listening!
Milhouse: And then watch that red paint dry?
Jessica: And I’m no longer listening.
Milhouse: We can take bets on whether the paint will dry darker or lighter than its corresponding paint swatch.
Jessica: I think I’ll just TP the Jebediah Springfield statue instead.
Milhouse: Like a drop cloth? Good idea.
Make Jessica Lovejoy Disgrace a Local Landmark- 24hrs, Earns $1,000, 225xp
Ned: Now Reverend, I know you said never to contact you unless it was an absolute emergency.
Rev. Lovejoy: Someone better be on fire, Ned. And no, hellfire does not count. Real fire.
Ned: Your daughter is wrapping our founder’s statue in toilet paper. Something in there must be a sin. Wasting TP? Vandalizing? Glorifying mummies?
Rev. Lovejoy: For the last time, glorifying mummies is most definitely a sin.. wait what did you say my daughter was doing?
Back From the Future Pt. 2
Rev. Lovejoy: Jessica Lovejoy! I thought we agreed that if you came back from limbo, you wouldn’t cause any trouble!
Jessica: All contracts are void when made in a void.
Rev. Lovejoy: Good Lord, are you punishing me for that time I said an off-color joke about eggshell white? Maybe the only way to get you to behave is to IGNORE you until you shape up!
Jessica: You can’t ignore me, Daddy. I’m your sweet angelic daughter!
Make Rev. Lovejoy Ignore his Daughter- 1hr, Earns $105, 26xp
Make Jessica Lovejoy Pretend to be a Good Girl- 1hr, Earns $105, 26xp
Jessica: Oh daddy? Daddy dearest? DADDY!!
Rev. Lovejoy: *singing* BRINGING IN THE SHEAVES, BRINGING IN THE SHEAVES.
Jessica: Stop it! STOP IT OR LEARN MORE WORDS TO THE SONG! OK, I’M SORRY!!
Rev. Lovejoy: *singing* BRINGING IN THE SHEAVES, BRINGING IN THE SHEAVES.
Jessica: I’ll be a good, selfless, humble girl… just please pay attention to me!
Back From the Future Pt. 3
Jessica: I hate pretending to be good. All this lying and deceiving gets in the way of my favorite activities: lying and deceiving. What I need is a patsy! Someone who I can blame if I get caught. Like when the government blamed that Lindbergh baby for Vietnam. Hmm, maybe I should stop skipping school too.
Reach Level 9 and Build Springfield Elementary
Make Jessica Find a Gullible Dimwit- 8hrs, Earns $420, 105xp
Bart: Jessica? I didn’t know you’d arrived in town.
Jessica: If only it were so simple. But no, Bart, I have a far greater burden placed upon my shoulders.
Bart: Orthopedic brace? Milhouse had one of those. The doctor said they’d never seen a spine so soft.
Jessica: I’m actually here from the FUTURE to save you from a terrible fate at the end of this quest line.
Bart: Nice try, Jessica.
Jessica: I knew that you would say that… being from the future and all. So I’ll totally prove it. The big finger in the sky will touch the screen when I finish talking!
Bart: Ay Caramba! You ARE from the future! Tell me what I have to do to prevent this terrible fate.
Jessica: Simple. All you have to do is… everything I say.
Back From the Future Pt. 4
Jessica: OK Bart, I know this might be difficult for you, but I assure you it’s a lot easier than what’s in store for you in the future.
Bart: Is it bees? Tell me if it’s bees. Blink twice for bees.
Jessica: Shut up. Now, step one — replace your mom’s shampoo with this bottle of peroxide.
Bart: Why would that save me from the bees?
Jessica: It’s not bees! But if you don’t do it, well, enjoy your future fate with all its future pain and future suffering.
Bart: Pain OR suffering I can handle, but both together? No thank you.
Reach Level 12 and Build Bart’s Treehouse
Make Jessica Baton Twirl- 8hrs, Earns $420, 105xp
Make Bart Replace his Mom’s Shampoo with Peroxide- 12hrs, Earns $420, 100xp
Marge: This isn’t shampoo it’s peroxide! Staining my beautiful blue hair a repulsive, unnatural golden yellow.
Bart: Why’d you have to make me do that? My mom is one of the few adults who hasn’t given up on me.
Jessica: Don’t think of yourself, Bart. Think of Future Bart, with his hover skateboard.
Back From the Future Pt. 5
Jessica: OK Bart. The next thing you have to do to avoid your terrible fate is give me twenty dollars.
Bart: I don’t have that kind of cash!
Jessica: The church collection does…
Bart: Whoa! I don’t steal from churches, or mosques, or synagogues. Maybe, maybe a Shinto shrine.
Jessica: Bart, terrible fate —
Bart: If it’s so bad, then how come you won’t tell me about it?
Jessica: Fine. First, your eyeballs fall out of your head.
Bart: But I love my eyeballs. They’re my second favorite set of balls.
Jessica: And while you are searching for your eyeballs, you trip and fall down the stairs, breaking every bone in your body.
Bart: So much agony and slapstick! Enough, enough I’ll do it!
Reach Level 14 and Build First Church of Springfield
Make Jessica Go to Sunday School- 12hrs, Earns $600, 150xp
Make Bart Steal Church Money- 12hrs, Earns $420, 100xp
Rev. Lovejoy: Bart Simpson are you stealing from the church?! AGAIN?!
Bart: But I didn’t want to do it! … this time. Jessica made me. She said she was from the future and if I didn’t do what she said, my eyeballs would pop out of my head. And I would trip over them and break every bone in my body. Which I’m just now realizing was the plot to yesterday’s Itchy and Scratchy cartoon.
Rev. Lovejoy: Jessica Lovejoy! I can’t believe how much I can believe you would do this.
Jessica: But I didn’t do it, Daddy. You said you’d ignore me if I was bad and you’re talking to me. So by that logic, I can’t have done anything wrong. But I only did it to show how the media is unfairly biased against women!
Homer: Her circular logic checks out. Bart! How DARE you blame an innocent girl for this crime!
Bart: Dad, she’s stealing your wallet right now!
Homer: Now you’re questioning your father?! Sounds like someone needs double the punishment! Go to your room! TWICE!
Back From the Future Pt. 6
Bart: That’s it, Jessica you’ve gone too far. Lying about the future? You know that’s my favorite time period. We’re done.
Jessica: Oh Bart, you’ll be back.
Bart: Just think of me as the Anti Terminator — I’ll never be back! That sounded cooler in my head.
Jessica: That’s too bad… I was hoping we could go get ice cream together.
Bart: Fat chance!
Jessica: Great idea – we could eat it in front of the kids just getting back from Fat Camp.
Bart: Well…Ok. But then AFTER THAT we’re done.
Make Jessica Heckle Fat People- 4hrs, Earns $260, 70xp
Make Bart Heckle Fat People- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
And that completes Jessica’s questline!
Running from start to finish, with out using donuts, it will take you 2 days and 13 hours to complete.
What do you think of Jessica? Have you purchased her? Where have you placed the Lovejoy Residence in your Springfield? Any thoughts on the dialogue? Sound off in the comments below, you know we LOVE hearing from you!